Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Tachibana Higuchi.
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Love Games
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Chapter Eight – Heavy In Your Arms
Mikan takes a bite from her ice cream and stares ahead in one spot. She waits for Ruka who is coming home from his business trip. At this moment, she is in the airport.
But, instead of waiting, she is staring in one spot and thinking what she'll tell Ruka when she sees him.
"Hey, Ruka. I cheated on you with Sumire's boyfriend. How was your trip?"
No, she couldn't tell it. She will be dead faster than she will be able to finish her question.
Mikan lets out a frustrated sigh and leans against the armchair. She is in a deep shit. This time even chocolate or ice cream doesn't help.
She even moved away from Sumire's apartment to Ruka's, just to avoid the awkward moment when she'll run into Natsume.
But it will happen. She couldn't run away from it. Unless, she tells Sumire the truth and Sumire will break up with Natsume. Only, there is a problem. Sumire could start to avoid Mikan and Mikan will lose her as a friend.
She couldn't let it happen.
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When she saw Ruka came out of the sliding doors, she didn't expect anybody with him. But here she is now, standing in front of a beautiful girl with violet eyes, which are judging her by every thing she does.
"Hello," Mikan speaks up, smiling at the female.
"Hello," she says back and turns to Ruka to tell him that she will go to buy herself something to eat.
She leaves Mikan and Ruka alone.
"Who's she?" Mikan asks, raising her eyebrow as Ruka looks away from her to stare at the ground.
"She's an old friend of mine and it happened that we met in Italy few days ago." He smiles and looks me in the eye. "There's nothing more, Mikan. I promise."
His smiles were always pure. That's why Mikan trusted him.
She smiles and hugs him. He kisses her and they are again the happy couple. Just for few seconds. Mikan opens her eyes to look into Ruka's friend's violet eyes. And that's when she realizes that this girl already knows everything. She feels like an open book. She closes her eyes and tightens her grip on Ruka. She doesn't want to let him go and lose him, forever. Not now.
But he pushes her away and gives her a worried look.
"What's wrong, Mikan?" His voice is made from velvet and it makes Mikan feel ashamed. Ashamed because she let someone else touch her where only Ruka had touched her. But there was the dirtiest part. She didn't stop the stranger. No, she enjoyed the act very much. So much that she forgot about Ruka and only felt Natsume.
Everywhere was only he. His name. His ruby red eyes. His gentle fingers and lips.
"I just missed you." She lies, knowing that it's for the best. Or just hoping that it is. She couldn't tell Ruka something that will break his trust in her. Not before the New Year.
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Next time she sees Sumire, she smiles at her and kisses her cheek. Being surprised how good she's at lying; Mikan buys herself a piece of cake. Of course, Sumire has to tell her how unhealthy chocolate cakes are. She ignores her and eats the cake in few minutes.
"How are things with Ruka?"
"They are great. It was a surprise that he didn't come back from the trip alone. He met in Italy his old friend and she decided to visit her homeland again.
"Lies. I bet she had some hot, hot affair with Ruka before you came in the picture. I would recommend you to keep an eye on him." She winks at Mikan and takes a sip from her coffee.
"Okay, Sumire, I will try to remember it." Mikan smiles and looks outside the café's window. All people are rushing somewhere, getting ready for the New Year's evening.
"Only tomorrow is the 31st December but everyone is running like mad. That's just foolish, I don't see any need to celebrate before the New Year is here. I mean, it's just a usual day."
Mikan nods, takes a sip of her tea, and stares out the window some more time. She tries to avoid Sumire's eyes. Her best friend knows her too much. She didn't doubt that Sumire could read from her eyes.
"You're silent today. What's wrong?"
"Sumire, everything is okay. It's not my day today, okay?" Mikan asks her, looking in her eyes. Her green eyes are staring at her and suddenly Mikan feels naked in front of her. She looks down to avoid her best friend.
"There is something going on here. I can feel it. Mikan, if there's something you're afraid to tell me, you can say. Is it about Ruka? Are you afraid that he will leave you?"
"It's not that, Sumire."
"Then what is it?"
Sumire was staring at her and the first thing she finds in her mind is more than silly.
"I forgot my notebook in your apartment. There was something I wrote from university and I need it as soon as possible."
"Sure, we can take a cab and go there right now." Sumire suggests and Mikan smiles back and nods. Only in the cab she realizes that this will be the first time when she will meet Natsume after their one night stand.
She makes a speech just for him.
When they walk inside Sumire's apartment, it is empty. Mikan lets out her held breathe and smiles. At last the speech can wait.
"Do you want a tea?" Sumire asked, taking off her coat and boots. She walks in the kitchen and leaves Mikan alone.
Mikan looks around, trying to find something different.
"Where's Natsume?" She asks, not wanting to but it's the first thing that escapes her lips.
"He is working, found a job last week." Sumire tells her, taking a kettle and putting it on electric range.
Mikan nods and goes into the kitchen. It's warm and makes her cold fingers tingle from the heat.
"You can go and search for the notebook, you know." Sumire says, sitting beside her with a grin on her lips.
"Right," Mikan mumbles, gets up and walks in the guest room which was once hers. She opens the first drawer of the bedside table and finds her blue notebook. It is just her planner but no one has to know it. She takes it out, closes the drawer and returns to the kitchen.
"I really hope you want some tea." Sumire smiles and Mikan just nods, sitting in the chair in front of the kitchen's table, on the one she had sex with Natsume. As remembering the past, Mikan jumps up from the seat. Sumire turns around and looks at her with a raised eyebrow.
"What's wrong with you?" She asks her, taking the kettle away from the range to pour the hot water in two tea cups.
"I remember that I have to meet Ruka today, I'm sorry." Mikan says, running to the anteroom. She puts on her boots, takes her coat, puts it on her body and takes her bag, kisses Sumire's cheek and runs out the door.
She couldn't stay there, not when she had done something terrible on the table where she had a tea with her best friend.
She runs in the elevator, clicks first floor's button and starts to cry. She looks into the elevator's mirror and looks away. Her face make-up is ruined but she doesn't care. She feels disgusted to even touch herself.
When elevator's doors opens on the first floor, she runs in the hallway and out the apartment building entrance.
The street is loud and the loud noise brings a headache in her head. She leans against some building's wall and closes her eyes. She tries to take a breath but she feels like somebody is suffocating here. She opens her eyes and feels like everything inside her stops.
There, across the street, stands a couple. They both are kissing. When the guy leans away from the girl's face, Mikan notices his blond hair and his face.
Mikan tightens her grip on her bag and breathes out. She feels how tears fill her eyes. She doesn't want to believe it.
She looks at the ground and sinks down. She hugs herself and cries out the pain.
She hears noises, feels how the snow starts to fall from the skies and looks up when somebody touches her shoulder.
She looks into a pair of ruby red eyes. They are looking down at her with concern and worry. She grips the person's hand on her shoulder and he pulls her up. She falls in his arms and wraps her arms around him.
"Natsume," she whispers and bursts out in sobs as he starts to caress her back. She feels cold but his presence brings her the warmth.
It's wrong, yet, she can't push him away.
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A/N – Thanks for the reviews, guys.
~I Love Sugar