Repost of chapter 5.

My shift at the hospital couldn't get any slower. I'm glad I went to theatre camp; it made it a little easier to lie to Turk about where I had ended up last night. It was taking all the energy in my body not to squeal and spill, but I knew that this would be the last shift I ever worked if word got out.

I did manage to convince Carla that I had got lucky, but I don't think Turk really bought it. He knows me better than I know myself, and he knows just as well as I that I would have told him about the saucy catch had I actually pulled a girl at a bar. He must have sensed my discomfort, because he soon dropped the subject, and Carla has stopped interfering... For now.

The thing is, I really hate lying to my friends. If they knew the truth, about me, I don't know how they would react. It's not something I'm quite ready to admit, and even if I did, I'm pretty sure they would think I was lying to them. Oh, the irony.

Working with Perry today was so weird. Today, the nerves were genuine, and I wonder if he sensed that. He's one of the most explosive people I have ever met, and you never know how he is going to react to the slightest thing. He didn't react at all, to anything. If I hadn't spoken to him this morning, I would have been pretty convinced the whole thing was just an illusion conjured up in my drunken state.

I mean, the guy didn't even rant at me. Actually, when I come to think about it, apart from seeing patients with me, he pretty much left me alone. He didn't seek me out to make a point about what I was wearing, or how my hair looked, or how girly I smelt. He just got on with the job. I guess it gives me time to think... And I did. Well, when I wasn't running around treating sick people.

So, after the whole day of being apart, by the time I got to the bar I was still on the same page. I stood outside the bar entrance, pondering my next move. I knew that Perry was probably already waiting for me; I checked the rota to find that his shift ended a few hours before mine. I couldn't walk through those doors without knowing where I am going with all of this. How can I say anything about how I feel if I don't even know?

All this time, I thought of Perry as my mentor, my role model. I never thought of him, like that, you know. I never thought of the idea of us being... together. It still sounds weird.

It never even crossed my mind that the man could even consider having those kind of feelings for me. It just seemed so absurd, ridiculous, stupid. I'm pretty sure if he even got the idea that I thought of him like that, I wouldn't be talking to you right now.

But, now? I don't know. He kissed me, he likes me, and I'm still here thinking that there is a catch, that all of this is wrong and doomed from the start. But when he kissed me... The feeling of his lips against mine, the warmth of his body... It was like my brain recoiled from the situation, but my body acknowledged emotion. Does that even make sense? Rowdy would understand.

I decided to head into the bar, clueless about my plan of action. If I hesitated any longer I think Perry would get the idea I'd bailed again, and then I would really be in trouble. So I hesitantly swing the door on its hinges and step into the bar. After a careful gaze around the room, I spot Perry hidden around one of the corner tables, a glass of scotch held firmly in his hand.

I take the seat next to him, trying to think of something to say.

"I thought you said there wouldn't be any alcohol involved." I think it's pretty obvious that the drink in his hand isn't his first.

"Shut up, Newbie." He growled as a response, and quickly downed the remaining contents of his drink, slamming the glass down on the table once he had successfully drained it dry. "I was starting to think you had chickened out on me again."

I duck my head in brief shame. "I needed a little time, you know? I have no idea what I am doing."

"So?" He looked expectantly at me.

I keep my head ducked, my brain searching desperately for something logical to say.

"God, Newbie! Just tell me. When I kissed you how did you feel?" I'd hit a nerve.

"I don't know…" I buried my face in my hands. This is not how I thought it would turn out.

"Newbie." The warning tone in his voice made me look at him. For the first time, I saw him for who he really was. It was quite scary to see him so... bare. "How did it feel?"

"Perry it's not that simple…" I can't believe I am doing this.

He flicked his nose and readjusted his seating position. I find myself stuttering again.

"I was drunk, and confused..."

He smirked and leant across the table, close enough that I could feel his whisper on my chin.

"Well, you're not now."

I watch in anticipation as he inches closer still, making the point of staring me in the eye so I can't bail out. I knew if I pulled away from this it was over, and even if I wanted to there was no rational thought left in my body to persuade me to do so. I actually want this to happen; I want him to kiss me.

He must have sensed that too, because the final inches seemed to disappear a lot quicker than I had anticipated. I couldn't help but smile as our lips finally connected, again. This kiss was different, somehow. It was short, sweet, sober.

It did hurt a little when he pulled away and quickly glanced around to see if anybody had witnessed what had just happened, but I let it go. He turned back to me and folded his arms across his chest expectantly.

"So?"

I smile shyly, praying to God that my cheeks didn't look as hot as they felt. "Definitely good."