A/N: Hey everyone! This is Chapter 13, and I decided to write another chapter again before waiting 20395930859238 years like I had before! Well, this is the beginning of the wedding ceremony for Sol and Daiki :D, and then a scene with Shinto with Soledad is at the end. I tried making the Japanese wedding ceremony as accurate as I possibly could, I researched a lot. And there's an explanation for any foreign words with a small number next to them at the bottom, so feel free to look down there anytime you need to!
Chapter 13
"Oh, Lady Sol, you look absolutely magnificent! Daiki will not be able to take his eyes off of you!" Oni exclaimed. Sol smiled gently and blushed as the other servants agreed, all satisfied with the work they had all put in all morning. Kagura squeezed her daughter's hand, smiling softly along with her daughter in front of the bedroom vanity, the two staring at their reflections.
"I am so happy for you; you look stunning." Kagura said softly. Sol was surprised when she began seeing tears form in her mother's eyes.
"Awww mom, don't cry. You're going to make me start tearing up if you do. And I am positive the servants wouldn't be too happy about that!" Soledad said, chuckling softly and looking up at the servants around her. "And I've never been so pale in my life!" she laughed, causing Kagura to smile softly again in amusement. While Sol at times became annoyed while all the maids around her trying to put her in the dress, fix her hair, do her makeup, and all the other necessities, she couldn't believe the result, and how heavy and elaborate everything was.
She had the traditional katsura(1) placed on her head, which was definitely heavier than Sol had ever expected it to be. On the katsura were silver, gold, purple and red kanzashi(2) all placed together in order to symbolize the joining of the two regions. Her face and the rest of her body were completely painted white in order to symbolize purity, with her lips being stained a deep red color to emphasize their fullness. But the most awe inspiring part was her shiro-maku(3). It was made out of the finest silk Sol had ever worn, and the outer layer made of lace and was embroidered with sakura blossom designs all over it. Sol smiled at her reflection once more and took a deep breath, finally realizing that this was her wedding day.
"Let me bring you my hakoseko(4) and haiken(5)." Kagura exclaimed happily, leaving the room to allow the lingering servants to help her move around the room. No wonder okasan preached about perfect posture! Sol thought to herself as she tried keeping the wig in balance, praying she wouldn't look like a fool during the ceremony. As she got more comfortable walking around with her shiro-maku and katsura, Kagura entered in with the hakoseko. Sol delicately placed her hand to her mouth in order to not smudge any of the makeup done. The hakoseko was gold, with an embroidered illustration of a dog demon standing proudly, with the grass shifting beneath him.
"It's beautiful, okasan..." she whispered to him, admiring the meaning of it. She looked up and smiled again at her mother. It had been a while since her mother seemed genuinely happy, and she was glad that she could share this moment with her. Sol took the haiken as well from her mother and nodded softly.
"It's seems insane, that this is all happening at once." Kagura took her hands and squeezed them gently.
"I have prayed that you would have this day and share it with a wonderful man. I prayed to the gods that your marriage will be a happy and long lasting one." A tear fell from Kagura's face, and she didn't bother wiping it off. Kagura chuckled softly. "But we cannot keep you here all day! We must get to the ceremony now!"
-0-0-0-
I don't think I can do this. Sol thought to herself, as she began walking over to the room where the ceremony was to be conducted. She was with Kagura and Soledad's former maid, Oni, but everything seemed like a blur. She was excited, and she loved Daiki, she truly did; yet she felt nauseous and weak, feeling like she could collapse at any second with the feelings almost exploding out of her. She tried to say something, yet her throat felt dry and her lips trembled when she separated them, and finally took in a breath, not realizing until then that she hadn't been breathing at all for a few seconds.
What if I end like my parents? What if I am so unhappy with the marriage, but feel too weak to escape? she looked at her mother and dropped her head. What if...my soul becomes weary and lose my spunk, like my mother's, because right from the start, the marriage was doomed to fail? she thought sorrowfully. But before she could think anymore of this and maybe even run away, she found herself at the door.
Sol stood at the door, simply staring at it blankly, not a feeling or thought passing through her, until her mother coughed slightly to get her attention. Laughing nervously, she slowly slid it open. As Sol entered the small room, she was greeted by her father, Daiki and his parents. Daiki sat on one end of the table, and Sol placed herself on the other end, kneeling down gracefully.
She looked up slowly at Daiki, and their eyes meet, with her crimson irises melting into his silver ones. And she instantly knew, she would never end up like her mother, for their love was a genuine one, and that the two were both here for the right reasons, and not because some one asked one of them to, just to make the other happy.
She blushed slightly, and began beaming at her shujin(6), who was wearing a simple kuro montsuki* not caring if it wasn't deemed proper for the ceremony. On the other side Daiki beamed back, as their parents were placed on the sides of the bride and groom facing each other, in order to symbolize the union of the two families.
Sesshomaru glanced at his young daughter with pride and affection, the latter being a very new feeling for him. He never imagined having a ceremony without the involvement of the traditional matchmaker, yet he knew that this was the best for his daughter to have found herself a life long partner on her own. And he wouldn't have imagined allowing his daughter to marry a coyote demon either, but his perspective on certain things changed within the past couple of centuries. Sesshomaru looked back in front of him, scanning Daiki's parents with his usual expressionless facade.
Daiki's mother was dressed in a lilac colored kimono, with her dark purple hair falling in loose curls down to her waist. Her eyes were a lively maroon color, which would've looked strange with her hair combination on anyone else but looked strikingly exotic on her. She being of royal blood had a calm and regal stare, with her lips upturned in a slight smile as she looked at Sol. Daiki's father was tall, with broad shoulders and rugged features, with his straight jet black hair in a low ponytail which came down to his waist as well. His striking silver eyes were almost as penetrating as Sesshomaru's, yet were prone to giving away his thoughts, making them less effective.
Yet, what caused Sesshomaru to arch his eyebrow in curiosity was that beside him, his mate was silently sobbing. He turned his head slightly to see that Kagura had a crimson fan in front of her face, but it would soon be obvious to the others of what she was doing. Kagura's body was slightly lurching over as she tried to keep the tears at bay, but he knew it was to no avail, and the tears were going to be inevitable.
Gracefully, Sesshomaru nodded his head in respect to the others in the room to excuse himself, and roughly grabbed Kagura's arm from underneath the table in order to bring her back up. Her eyes widened slightly in surprise as she was lifted up by her right arm, and she quickly half walked and was half dragged out of the room by the demon lord.
As soon as they were out of the room, Kagura's first tears fell from her face as she tried to muffle her sobbing. She didn't dare look up at Sesshomaru's eyes, because even though they were mostly expressionless, she knew there would be a glint of anger.
"What are you trying to do, Kagura, tarnish both your daughter and this Sesshomaru's reputation in front of the most important allies strategically and resourcefully these Western Lands could have?" he snarled harshly. Kagura let out a whimper as more tears fell down her face, and shook her head slightly.
"N-N-No, Lord Sesshomaru, I...I couldn't control it." Kagura wailed softly, knowing that this would not be enough for the Taiyoukai. She heard Sesshomaru growl, putting her nerves on edge for what he might do.
"Then what is your uncontrollable sobbing for?" he said impatiently. She calmed down a bit and took a breath to try to stabilize her breathing, but it didn't work too well.
"I-I-I saw them look at each other, and the expressions on their faces made it- made it- se- se- seem like...there wa- was no one else in the world b-but the two of them..." her body caved in slightly when she felt another wave of emotion sweep over her. "A-A-And...how in al-all our years of marriage, y-you have n-ne-never looked at me in that way for a-an instant." she said hiccuping at times. She knew that it would take a thousand miracles in order for him to openly feel remorse and guilt from her statement, yet hope fluttered in her chest that it might. She gazed up at him pathetically and waited for a response.
He broke his gaze from her, knowing that this was the truth, yet being the stubborn Taiyoukai he had always been, did not admit it.
"Don't give this Sesshomaru such a pathetic excuse." he said harshly, and felt it pain her as he said it. "As the Lady of the West, you should have enough composure to control yourself and not act like a child." he told her coldly. Kagura looked up into his eyes boldly, anger building inside of her, knowing the words she would say would be a gamble.
"A Lady of the West? Now you want to give me a title of respect? Hmph, that's the first time you've called me that. Is this Sesshomaru trying to make himself seem like a respectable demon in front of others when he is actually lusting after a hanyou whore?" she said coldly as she could, trying to mock him at the same time. He grabbed her throat tightly.
"Don't you make yourself seem superior to Soledad, for she is a full blooded dog demon with born into a family of high military rank, not the filthy spawn of a hanyou who couldn't even produce a male heir." he spat in his ear. He inhaled deeply, composing himself before continuing and grabbing her face to bring her ear to his mouth. "Now, you will wipe off your useless tears, we will re enter the room and you will stop with your foolishness. Do you understand?" When Kagura nodded in his hand, he released his grip off of her neck. Kagura's makeup was slightly smudged, but she quickly wiped it off, and obediently followed Sesshomaru back in. Kagura caught a glance from her daughter, whose eyebrows were scrunched in confusion and worry for her, but Kagura quickly broke the gaze and sat down, giving the two coyote demons on the other side of the low table a feeble smile, hoping it would be enough to convince them nothing had happened outside in the hallway. Unfortunately, her facade was not nearly as strong as her mate's.
"Mother, are you-" Sol began.
"I am fine, nothing happened." Kagura said, pulling her kimono up so that no one would notice the claw markings on her porcelain skin left by the dog demon sitting to the right of her. Sol gazed at her mother for a few more seconds in worry before focusing on the continuation of the ceremony.
After the vows and traditional procedures of the marriage ceremony were done, Oni brought in the tray of sake and cups in order to begin the San San Ku Do(7).
The tray in front of the small group held the three traditional sakazuki8 cups, with the largest one being on the bottom, and the two other becoming increasing smaller as they were stacked on top of each other, with the sake pitcher next to the cups. An elderly priest first took the smallest cup, placed in Daiki's hands, and tilted the sake pitcher two times slightly, before pouring the sake into the bowl on the third tilt. Daiki then raised the cup twice close to his mouth before drinking the sake the third time he raised the cup. The priest, taking the cup from Daiki, tilted the pitcher twice slightly like she had for Daiki before pouring sake into the small cup, and Sol imitated Daiki's actions. This was the same process for the other two cups, and once the last drop of sake was swallowed from the last cup, the now united and married couple handed the largest cup to their families, where the priest filled the cup with sake, and Sol's and Daiki's parents drank the sake, uniting their families as well; whether or not the stability of the families was certain.
-0-0-0-
I don't think I can do this.
The short and simple message was screaming in Soledad's mind as she, Shinto and the small demon army trudged forward back to Sesshomaru's castle. She was still confused and in a sense in awe of what she was doing. She was going back to him. The man that she loved, the man she once loathed, the man with two such drastic personalities that at times she prayed to Amun gratefully that she was allowed to see the more gentle side that most never had seen or oven heard of from the Taiyoukai. And yet, she felt that she was giving up, and being submissive to go back.
"Soledad, are you alright?" Shinto asked her. Soledad fluttered her eyes a few times as she was torn away from her thoughts.
"Hmmm?" she responded softly, her eyes looking up curiously at the general.
"You seem to be lost in thought." he told her. She flicked her hand dismissively.
"Oh, I am alright, I just simply... deep in thought." Shinto arched his eyebrow in curiosity.
"And may I ask you what you were thinking about, if it does not offend?" Soledad's lips curved into a small smile.
"Oh, it was nothing important." she told him, shrugging her shoulders. They walked a little more, silence filling the air between them. "Heh." she said softly. Soledad looked up at him, staring right into his striking emerald eyes. "I just realized...Soledad must've had her wedding by now." she said softly. Even though their relationship at this point weren't on the best of terms, she was still somewhat disappointed that she couldn't be there because of the problems that had arisen.
"Well, actually, it is probably occurring right now." Shinto told her. Soledad looked down and smiled.
"To be frank, I am a little disappointed that I am not there right now." Soledad told him. She had always thought weddings were beautiful as a child. When her parents would take her to all the various countries and regions they traveled to, there always seemed to be a wedding, and being able to experience the ceremonies and traditions of each culture was both beautiful and breathtaking. "I love weddings." Shinto walked along silently with her before speaking.
"You say you love weddings." Shinto began. She looked at him, her face plastered in slight confusion as she listened to him. "And yet...you seem to want to evade any kind that would involve you in any other role other than a spectator." Her eyes widened at his statement, and she smirked at him.
"What are you trying to imply? Would you want me to marry a certain someone?" she asked him playfully.
"Soledad, do not take my comments too literally. You had already expressed what you feel about our relationship." her smirk disappeared and she frowned, feeling a little guilty for knowing she had pushed away his feelings for her, no matter how lightly she had tried to do so. She put her hands behind her.
"Well, though you tell me to not take your comments literally, there is always some level of truth in statements verbally expressed between people." she said, quoting her father. "So where does the truth lie?" she asked him. He turned his body slightly towards her, almost whispering so no others in the group could hear.
"Though you may believe that you can express emotions more clearly than Lord Sesshomaru and I, you are almost never confident in them and hold back." he whispered into her ear. "And that's why you run away, for you can not allow yourself to feel with your heart." he brought his body back up to its full height after finishing his statement.
Soledad looked down, absorbing what he had told her, and realized it was true. Yes, she felt that she could express herself just as much as the next person, yet when it came to truly accepting them and allowing them to guide her, she, nine times out of ten, let what she thought was rational guide her, and continually left or adapted in order to hopefully benefit others.
She shook her head. This was the exact opposite of what the basic Egyptian beliefs she was partly brought on by her mother stated. The heart was the one with the emotions; it was the organ that guided her body and what she should follow. That was the main reason for why it was left in the body; it was vital in order to pass through to the afterlife. And all her life, she rejected and defied her heart. Then she felt something wet fall on her cheek, and she let the tear fall.
"I've given to everyone else, but never allowed myself to own something and keep it to myself...I've never been truly selfish, especially for the most important aspects of life." she said softly, partially to herself and to Shinto. She looked up to him, and he nodded softly as he watched her slowly open her eyes. "I never let myself truly have him."
Her heart panged deep inside her chest as she thought about him. She loved him, and she couldn't deny it. Even after a century, the second their eyes locked in the large open hall, her heart called for him. And even when he acted like an ass, and called her the derogatory name in the dining room, through her violent sobs, she knew she wouldn't be able to hold a grudge against him for it.
And it annoyed the hell out of her.
Even as a child, she was so obstinate that she would go for months not speaking to her friends, until the latter came back on the verge of tears asking for forgiveness. True, her stubbornness her habit of holding vicious grudges were not part of her shining qualities, but she felt like it was a way to stay in control of her life, which changed constantly whether or not it was her own doing.
However, when it came to Sesshomaru, she felt that her attempts at holding a grudge against him were useless; for every time she looked into his golden irises and his sun struck his face, her heart melted and her eyes stared up in awe at his beauty. It was more than unfair, for he was off the hook concerning anything she was mad about just seconds before. She then tried to hate him for that as well, but the situation ended the same as always, with her giving in to him and forgetting what was done. She just wished that she could hold unto her anger when it came to him, but it never worked; it definitely didn't work when she was in his study the last time. When he looked into her eyes, she thought she had seen raw pain emerging through his eyes.
And though she hadn't realized it then, she now realized that their souls had found each other for a reason, and weren't about to be separated any time soon, if at all.
And that was when her constant thought when from I don't think I can do this. to I need him, no matter what.
Okay, well that's the end to Chapter 13! To make sure you guys aren't completely confused about what the words were in the beginning, here's kind of a translation or explanation to what they were:
1- katsura- traditional wig in Japan that's used for special occasions, but mostly weddings. It can be made out of real or part synthetic hair, but obviously for the time setting and Sol's social class, it's all real hair.
2-kanzashi- hair ornaments used in traditional Japanese hairstyles; they are also used for geishas and maikos, just a random fact :D
3- shiro-maku- Shiro, means white and maku means pure, it's the traditional wedding kimono, usually plain, which is worn during the ceremony.
4- hakoseko- a small purse worn by the bride in order to bring good luck.
5 kaiken- a small delicate dagger also carried by the bride to bring good luck.
6- shujin- term for husband, or head of household, more traditional than the contemporary word danna.
7- San San Kudo- literally meaning 'three three nine times', its an ancient Japanese ceremony performed during the wedding that is still performed in modern Japanese weddings today.
*kuro montsuki- sorry, forgot to put this in until the last minute, and didn't feel like changing all the numbers again -_-. it's the traditional hakama that the groom wears during the wedding.