XIX
The look on Obi-Wan's face was one that Anakin knew far too well. Something had unsettled him. It was no challenge to figure out the source of Obi-Wan's unease, but the cause of it was more difficult. The fact that the older man wasn't stalking about in an outright panic was encouraging. That meant Luke wasn't in any immediate danger.
Obi-Wan tossed a datachip in his direction before moving towards the small kitchenette—no doubt to make himself yet another cup of tea. Anakin caught it easily and used the Force to call a holopad over to him. When he was a padawan, Obi-Wan had always chided him for such arbitrary uses of the Force. If he saw it then, the other man chose not to comment on it. Anakin sneered. No doubt it was another attempt on Obi-Wan's part to avoid a confrontation. Even while being hunted, his former master was determined to keep the peace. It made him wonder just how Obi-Wan had managed to survive so long in the face in the Jedi Purges.
As soon as he began skimming the files Obi-Wan had downloaded onto the datachip, Anakin realized the cause of Obi-Wan's unease. There was no mention of Palpatine's death. Not even the smallest hint of it in any of the codes the Empire used in its broadcasts. Anakin was somewhat surprised that Grand Moff Tarkin didn't take the chance to discredit him. Tarkin hated him. So much so that Anakin had expected that he would use the opportunity to ensure that Darth Vader's role in the Empire was eradicated for good. It's what he would have done if the situation was reversed. Sidious had always encouraged discord between them, pitting them against each other for his favour.
"I was hoping that you could shed light on the situation," Obi-Wan called from the kitchen. "I had expected to find our faces splashed across every channel. This silence is rather unnerving."
Though the words nearly choked him, Anakin could think of no other response. "I don't know."
Obi-Wan's sigh was palpable even if he was too far away to actually hear it. The older man didn't press him, though, taking him at his word. As he emerged from the kitchen, there was no disguising the worry clouding Obi-Wan's features. Obi-Wan had apparently become a lot less strict when it came to guarding his feelings. There was a time when Anakin would have given anything to know what Obi-Wan was thinking. But that was a lifetime ago and what Obi-Wan thought no longer concerned him.
"Do you believe it's safe enough for us to return to the Water Moon?"
Anakin knew that he was less than successful at hiding his shock. Even now Anakin couldn't say that he wouldn't gladly kill the other man, yet Obi-Wan was acting as though they were still partners. Anakin refused to believe that Obi-Wan could so easily overlook everything that he'd done since aligning himself to Palpatine. He still hadn't forgiven Obi-Wan for siding with Yoda against him. Things would have been so different if Obi-Wan had just ignored the meddling troll and stood beside him at the fall of the Republic. They could have destroyed Sidious together and created their own empire; one not hampered by the constraints of the Jedi. No one would have been able to stop them.
"Anakin, please. I need to know if it's safe. Will Palpatine's men be looking for us there?" Obi-Wan pressed, interrupting Anakin's thoughts.
"We'd be fools to go there so soon," Anakin informed him, not glancing up from the holopad. He was busy scanning the pod racing statistics Obi-Wan had downloaded onto the datachip. Anakin missed the days when he'd been able to sneak away from his duties at the Temple to take part in the races. The speed, the exhilaration, and the simple knowledge that he was doing something forbidden had made it more thrilling than it already was. Even though Anakin was fully aware that he wasn't fooling Obi-Wan, they'd never actually discussed it. Obi-Wan had let him have that.
"Tarkin will expect us to run to Rebellion-friendly systems. It's what I'd thought you would do once you realized that I'd found you." Anakin switched the holopad off and tossed it aside. "So, no, Tarkin and the rest won't be looking for you on the Water Moon. Why is it so important that we go back there?"
It was only after the fact that Anakin realized that he'd included himself in Obi-Wan's future plans. That he'd said "we" instead of "you." He couldn't take the word back, though. He could only hope that Obi-Wan hadn't noticed. Of course, after so long working alongside Obi-Wan, he knew that there was very little that Obi-Wan ever missed.
"There are things that need retrieving. A few relics of the past."
Obi-Wan was as vague as always, not that Anakin had expected anything different. Even more frustrating was the fact that Anakin couldn't deny the fact that he was intrigued by Obi-Wan's description. Knowing Obi-Wan as he did, Anakin suspected the older man was after something he'd secreted away from the Jedi Temple at the beginning of the Purge. Perhaps even some remnant of the life they'd shared together for thirteen years. Or even something of Padmé's that he'd kept for Luke.
"You're hardly sentimental enough to risk your life over something trivial." Anakin hadn't actually meant to say the words aloud. Thankfully Obi-Wan didn't react beyond taking another sip of tea. There was no denying the truth of what he'd said. Obi-Wan definitely wouldn't risk his life for something if he didn't think it was necessary.
"These items are hardly trivial," Obi-Wan assured him as he lowered the cup.
XXXXXXXXXX
Even though he wished it were otherwise, Obi-Wan doubted that Anakin's calm demeanor would last. At least not at first. He was counting on Anakin's extended exposure to his son to help lead him away from the all-consuming forces of the Dark Side and his own anger. Luke was proving to be a very calming influence on Anakin and Obi-Wan wanted to nurture their relationship as much as possible. It was likely too late for himself and his former padawan, but if Anakin was able to let go of his hatred and find some measure of peace, it would be enough.
"Feel free to take the bedroom in the back," Obi-Wan offered as he reached for one of the holonovels Luke had found during his exploration of the cottage. "There is no longer any need for us to share quarters and you're far too tall to sleep comfortably on the sofa."
Anakin's mouth opened in an instant refusal, but he never voiced it. Obi-Wan had intended as much and inclined his head briefly in Anakin's direction as the younger man stormed out of the room.
In many ways, he had hoped that Anakin would simply outright refuse. Obi-Wan's body ached in ways that it hadn't since Jabiim and he would have loved nothing more than to sleep away an entire cycle. With Anakin there acting as a distraction for Luke, he might just have managed it. Instead he would get as much sleep as he could and hope the effects of the Sith lightning would have faded away by morning. He'd promised Luke a trip to the river after all.
Now that he'd truly stopped for the first time since his confrontation with Anakin at the waterfall, Obi-Wan was slowly becoming aware of the various aches and pains throughout his body. It had always been easy to push such things aside when there were other things to focus on. Anakin had always proved a welcome distraction during the Clone Wars and had done so again after Sidious' death. But now that Anakin could deal with whatever mechanical issues still remained in his durasteel limbs, Obi-Wan could no long ignore his body's quite fervent attempts to gain his attention.
Listening with half an ear as Anakin puttered about in the back bedroom, Obi-Wan went to retrieve a pillow and some blankets from the hallway cupboard. Luke's peaceful Force signature was a soothing balm to his quite frazzled nerves. There had been a time—a lifetime ago now—that Anakin's presence had been equally comforting in the wake of Qui Gon's death. Before things had gotten out of control and Anakin had succumbed to his fears and anger.
Gathering up two pillows and a blanket, Obi-Wan lowered the lighting in the common room with an errant wave of his hand. He quickly made up his bed then removed his tunic and boots. Looking at the singed and slightly rank state of his tunic, Obi-Wan made a mental note to try and clean his and Luke's clothing while they were at the river since, sadly, the cottage didn't contain washer. The very site of them was enough to steer Obi-Wan towards the 'fresher. He hoped that a shower would coax the last bit of wakefulness from his mind.
Obi-Wan palmed the door to the 'fresher open, trying to twist the kinks out of his neck as he moved. He turned the water onto its highest tolerable setting before shedding his trousers and undergarments. Obi-Wan left them in a heap in the middle of the floor then stepped under the heavy spray of water.
"Ahh yes," he sighed, tilting his head forward so that the water pounded directly on the back of his neck. He stayed like that for several long minutes, his hands pressed against the tile wall before him. As he flexed his fingers, Obi-Wan glanced up, his attention drawn to his hands.
Flesh where Anakin's were durasteel.
"I am sorry, my friend," Obi-Wan whispered, knowing that he wouldn't receive an absolution until he spoke the words to Anakin himself. One day he hoped to have the courage to do just that. He hadn't wanted to kill Anakin, but neither had he wanted to leave the other man as little more than a shell. He'd only wanted Anakin to listen.
With a choked off scream, Obi-Wan slammed his right fist into the 'fresher wall. The sound of the impact was only momentarily satisfying, as was the slight crack that appeared. The pain that radiated from his clenched fist all the way to his elbow was slightly troubling. Obi-Wan took several deep breaths, willing himself back to a calm state. One of them needed to be in control of his emotions and Anakin had always been incredibly volatile, even in his happiness.
Obi-Wan finished his shower quickly, his motions favouring his right hand. The relief that he'd hoped to find was absent. Instead, Obi-Wan felt even more tense and unnerved than before. He'd believed that he'd overcome his guilt, but faced with the reality of Anakin and the consequences of his own action, it had returned stronger than before.
After reluctantly putting his grubby trousers back on, Obi-Wan attempted to find a comfortable position on the sofa. It was just long enough to accommodate his body and only marginally suitable as a bed. Having slept in worse conditions, Obi-Wan resigned himself to a night of uneasy slumber and settled down into the sofa.
XXXXXXXXXX
Anakin rolled over to face the door as he felt the dark rumbling on the edge of his mind. In the past, such feelings had radiated from Sidious. A constant, pervasive hum of dark energy that he couldn't ignore except through distance. It was certainly not something that he'd ever thought to associate with Obi-Wan. He knew, just like everyone else who'd been present at the Battle of Naboo, just how close Obi-Wan had come to giving into the Dark Side of the Force. But it had just been the briefest of flirtations brought on by the pain of Qui Gon's passing. It had faded when he'd killed Darth Maul. In all the time in between, nearly two decades, Anakin had never felt such darkness coming from his former master.
For several long minutes, Anakin laid there staring towards the door. He searched tentatively along the ravaged remains of their training bond, seeking out the source of Obi-Wan's anger and frustration. Not enough of their former bond remained for him to get a clear picture, but Anakin briefly glimpsed his own face in the swirl of hazy thoughts. Obi-Wan must have become aware of his probing because all of his emotions shuttered themselves away a few minutes later before Anakin to find anything out.
Soon enough, the light under the door clicked off and Anakin was certain that Obi-Wan had gone to sleep. He settled back into the bed, but found that sleep was elusive. It was strange being so near Obi-Wan after so many years. During the wars they'd spent weeks on end cramped together in small tents, destroyer barracks or even in caves. Back then he'd never thought anything of it. But now being even two rooms away from him set Anakin's nerves on edge.
He wanted to flee. He wanted to get as far away from Obi-Wan as possible—put the entire galaxy between them. Yet even thought it would have been so easy to simply take Luke and disappear, he didn't. He could spirit Luke away while Obi-Wan slept that very night, but Anakin stayed right where he was, staring up at the shadowed ceiling. He silently cursed his wavering resolve. Only a week ago, he wouldn't have even hesitated. Obi-Wan would already be dead and forgotten.
More than an hour later, Anakin was still wide-awake. He glanced over at the chrono sitting on the nightstand, glaring at the numbers that stared back at him. With a frustrated groan, Anakin shoved the blankets aside and rolled out of the bed. He couldn't stay in the bed any longer. It was too late to go wandering around the unfamiliar terrain and he had nothing mechanical to tinker with, so a shower would have to do.
Anakin yawned loudly as he palmed open the door. He stumbled down the hallway and into the 'fresher, squinting as the lights flickered on. Once he blinked his vision clear, Anakin found himself staring at his own reflection. Even after more than a year, Anakin still despised his reflection. The scars stood out starkly in the harsh overhead lighting, and gave his skin an almost sickly bluish hue. Anakin barely refrained from wrenching the mirror from the wall. Taking several deep breaths, Anakin forced himself to remain calm. Obi-Wan wouldn't leave him alone with Luke if he was constantly losing his temper, and being alone with Luke was his best chance of weaning him away from his Daddy.
As he stepped into the shower unit, Anakin couldn't contain a smirk. It appeared that he wasn't the only one who liked to lash out. Obi-Wan was usually far more reserved about displaying his emotions, but the crack in one of the tiles told a different story.
"Not so perfect after all," Anakin mused to himself, tracing his fingers over the fractured line.
Anakin took his time in the shower, leaning forward so that the water pounded over his back. After a few minutes, Anakin's eyes fell shut and he released a blissful sigh. Anakin kept his eyes closed for the remainder of his shower, not wanting to see the ruined terrain of his body through the steam. The sensors on the pads of his durasteel hands created a vivid enough picture in his mind of the damage Mustafar had left behind.
Anakin only left the 'fresher when the water began to run cold. He quickly slipped his trousers back on then left the room before the steam had a chance to evaporate from the mirror.
"Papa?"
Startled, Anakin's steps stuttered momentarily. It took him a few moments to find Luke in the dim lighting. His son was standing beside the sofa, staring down at Obi-Wan.
"What are you doing up, Luke?" Anakin yawned as he stepped into the common room. He didn't get too close to Obi-Wan, hoping that Luke would leave the sofa and come to him.
Instead the little boy put his hand on Obi-Wan's head.
"Daddy's having bad dreams. They're making him sad."
Anakin remained silent, knowing that Luke likely wouldn't approve of any of the responses he wanted to give. Looking down at the older man, Anakin could see the signs of strain on his face.
"We could all sleep in the big bedroom," Luke suggested, glancing up hopefully at him. "You didn't have bad dreams in the big bedroom."
It was on the tip of Anakin's tongue to refuse. He had no desire to be in such close quarters with Obi-Wan, but needed to keep Luke on his side.
"Go turn the blankets down."
In that moment, Luke's broad smile was enough to banish some of his darker thoughts. Once the little boy had bolted from the room, Anakin knelt down beside Obi-Wan. Focusing on their shredded bond, Anakin tried to coax Obi-Wan into a deeper sleep. Deep enough so his former master wouldn't wake up as he carried him from the common room into the main bedroom.
"I'm doing this for Luke," Anakin grumbled under his breath as he slid his arms under Obi-Wan's shoulders and knees. Reinforcing his movements with the Force, Anakin lifted the other man up off the sofa.
Luke was standing in the doorway of the back bedroom, bouncing from one foot to the other. He jumped back as Anakin got closer, scurrying over to the end of the bed to watch as Anakin set Obi-Wan down. Anakin had drawn the blankets up over Obi-Wan before he fully realized what he was doing.
"Thank you, Papa." The little boy launched himself at Anakin, wrapping his arms tight around Anakin's waist.
Reaching down, Anakin hoisted Luke up into his arms. Luke wound his arms and legs around Anakin's torso, holding tight. He couldn't stop the smile when Luke reached up to press a kiss against his cheek. Luke settled down in his arms then, already half asleep despite his earlier excitement. Anakin held his son against his chest for a few moments, reluctant to put him down.
"Time to sleep, Papa," Luke mumbled, snuffling his face against Anakin's neck.
Walking to the other side of the bed, Anakin set himself down on the mattress. He didn't release Luke. Instead, Anakin shifted about until he was able to lay down with his son still resting against his chest. With a wave of his fingers, Anakin called the blanket up to cover the both of them.
He was asleep a few minutes later.