Her Eyes Opened: Chapter 7
Sir John's careful operation to get Marianne at the piano forte by the time Colonel Brandon walked into the house was carried out practically with military precision: Marianne was in the middle of the first verse and already completely immersed in the song when Brandon and the Ferrars stepped in. Mrs Jennings could hardly breath as she observed Brandon's reactions: just like that time ages ago the man stopped in the doorway and was oblivious to the rest of the room. All he noticed was the girl at the piano.
Brandon was, indeed, as if struck down by a ton of bricks when he had entered the house, hearing Marianne singing. The memory of seeing her for the very first time was crystal clear in his memory and it hadn't taken him a fraction of a second to identify the voice as Marianne's. The Ferrars had been chatting something as they were walking in, but upon hearing the music and seeing Brandon just about freeze in his footsteps for a moment they instinctively fell quiet. Brandon walked as quietly as he could to the doorway into the room where the music was coming from and stopped there, not being able to help himself. She was so beautiful and the way she delivered the music touched him deeply. They shared a love for music and had played together once or twice at Barton cottage but Brandon found it so impossible to concentrate on playing decently when sitting next to the girl that he had decided it more prudent to decline the duets and rather listen to her play.
Breathing was difficult, watching her like this, when all he wanted was to go sit next to her and confess his true feelings once and for all. At the wedding he had used up all his resolve not to break down in front of her and everyone else and had left rather abruptly before it had all become unbearable. He wanted to believe that the connection he felt for her was not his imagination, but at the same time he was so scared that it was.
Mrs Jennings was not the only one observing Colonel Brandon. Elinor's keen powers of observation did not miss a beat here and quietly she led Edward to the back row of seats that had been organized for the ad hoc concert. Sir John's smile was almost smug as he read his friend's face like an open book. This time, things would have to move on, surely! Then, the song came to an end and everyone applauded and complemented Marianne on a lovely recital. She turned with a light blush on her cheeks to thank everyone and then she saw him: Brandon was standing there, looking at her intently and their eyes met.
It was most unfortunate that Mr Palmer was not quite on his sharpest game and did not see how Mr Fitzwilliam had been preparing to pounce the moment the song was over to shower Miss Marianne with compliments and the very moment when Marianne's eyes met Brandon's, there was Fitzwilliam rushing and shoving himself next to Marianne on the piano seat, plying her with compliments and insisting that they should play a duet. The moment was shattered and Brandon felt like someone had just slapped him in the face.
Marianne tried to look past Fitzwilliam to catch Brandon's eye again, but the man had already collected himself and moved away. She saw him going over to Sir John to greet the hosts, managing to produce only the smallest of smiles. That smile did not reach his eyes and he seemed to be making sure he would not look towards the piano again. The way Fitzwilliam was it was impossible to decline his wish for a duet without forthright rudeness. Marianne would not insult her hosts that way and so they agreed upon a piece they both knew. Marianne pushed towards the shortest possible piece she could think of. How she longed to get rid of this imbecile! She had a sinking feeling Brandon may have taken the whole situation the wrong way.
Sir John had watched the whole scene with dread and now saw Brandon avoid even looking at Miss Marianne. Even Mr Palmer looked practically mortified for not managing to hold his cousin back. Brandon had sat down to listen to the duet, but was not really hearing it. He couldn't even look at Marianne right now. His heart had been so full of hope and a slither of optimism had crept into his soul when their eyes had met, but then it turned out there was someone else here for her! His reason was telling him it did not have to mean anything, but the younger man had approached her so…possessively! Had his reason not been so blinded by his insecurities he would not have turned away so quickly and he would have seen Marianne's desperation to look at him again and to get away from the young man, but as it was, Brandon was as good as kicked in the gut.
When they finished playing the piece Marianne was quick to jump up from the piano chair and excuse herself before Mr Fitzwilliam could suggest a second piece.
"Thank you, that was very nice, but I absolutely must talk to my sister Elinor now, I haven't seen her for ages," Marianne explained and hurried away. She scanned the room but Colonel Brandon had disappeared entirely Sir John seemed to be missing as well.
"Oh Elinor, how good it is to see you!" Marianne exclaimed as she embraced her dear sister. Elinor and Edward were standing with Mrs Dashwood and young Margaret.
"Marianne, why do you keep talking to that awful Mr Fitzwilliam?" Margaret interjected, tugging at her sister's sleeve. She hadn't been able to spend any time with Marianne today and everyone else there was old or boring. Or both!
"Oh, Margaret, I don't mean to but honestly, he will not leave me be!" Marianne exclaimed but managed to keep it a whisper so no one else outside the group heard her.
"So good to see you, Marianne, it's been very curious times getting used to living in a different house without all of you," Elinor said. It was true. She loved every minute of it. Every minute she could now spend alone with Edward and the peace and quiet and all the new things they both were learning and getting used to. It didn't mean she did not miss her sisters and her mother, though. It was just something she would get used to.
"You must tell me everything you have done with the house. Can I come and see you there sometime?" Marianne asked eagerly. She knew, of course, that she would visit, but for the time being it was up to Elinor to invite her over when she felt they could handle visitors.
"Of course you'll visit the moment the guest room is acceptable. And you too, Margaret and Mother. We can even come and collect you some time now: can you believe Colonel Brandon gave us a horse and a carriage as a wedding present!" Elinor explained excitedly. Margaret gasped in excitement and could hardly keep from bouncing up and down with the thought of her sister having her own horse.
"Isn't that just like him, though, don't you think?" Mrs Dashwood pondered. She, too, was wondering where the Colonel had disappeared to.
"Now, Marianne, there's someone we should have a little talk about," Elinor then said seriously. Marianne nodded: she had expected this. The sisters decided to take a turn around the room so they could talk more privately. Margaret huffed in frustration for being cast out of what was probably the most interesting conversation all day.
"I know you haven't seen Colonel Brandon since the wedding, but what I wanted to ask you is if you still feel the same way as you did then?" Elinor asked. Marianne's grip on her elbow tightened somewhat.
"Oh Elinor. I can't stop thinking about him and I hardly slept last night knowing he'd come here today. Mrs Jennings told me he was coming. Fancy that, I can see well how Mrs Jennings is playing the match maker again and giving me all those knowing smiles and nods but because it is him, I don't mind!" Marianne gave a small laugh. But the laugh lacked confidence.
"And what is this going on with that, what's his name, Fitzwilliam?" Elinor asked.
"Like I said, he seems to think I'm as keen on finding any partner as he is. He's not rude or untoward but he is rather on the dim side and I really could do without him in the room today. Now I'm terribly worried that his presence has pushed Colonel Brandon further away from me again."
Elinor thought for a moment.
"Yes, I saw how he reacted there. He is so cautious, that man. He's hurt before and will not leave himself open for it to happen again. That's why I'm asking if you still feel the same as you did then."
"I must talk to him today, somehow. I must ask him why he avoids me." Marianne explained. Before Elinor could say anything else, Mr Fitzwilliam had managed to wiggle loose from whomever it was that had most recently detained him. He had sensed his prey and would not let go of the lovely Miss Marianne before he'd get some confirmation from her that he would be accepted as a suitor.
At the same time in Sir John's library Brandon and Sir John were helping themselves to a drink rather more stiff than what was being served in the other room.
"What has got you so agitated my friend?" Sir John asked, though he had a good inkling to what it indeed was.
"I'm not agitated…" Brandon tried to deflect.
"Rubbish!" Sir John retorted faster than Brandon had time to react to. The older man made it abundantly clear he had Brandon and his state of mind sussed out.
"Look, Christopher, she sees no one in that room but you and that lad only gets away with hogging her company like that because no one has the temerity to make a scene and tell him not to in blunt enough terms. As far as the boy is concerned he thinks the world has been arranged so that he could try and find himself a bride." Sir John resorted to something he had not done for ages and only ever did when he needed the younger man to understand how serious he was: used the Colonel's first name.
"What makes you think she wouldn't be curious as well?" Brandon muttered between sips fro his tumbler of Scotch.
"It is plain as day for everyone who knows her, Brandon. The girl's whole being lights up in joy the moment she sees you. The way she looks back at you when you look at her leaves no question about it and it's high time you took a plunge and ask to court her properly. This tip-toeing has been going on long enough." Sir John was very firm now. He could see the uncertainty in Brandon, and the fear of being rejected.
"And what's the worst that can happen anyway? Would it be worse than what you're clearly going through right now?" Sir John asked.
Brandon did not answer for a while, just stared into the distance. Then he decided to voice his greatest fear:
"The worst that could happen is that she accepts me because I happened to be there when she was at her weakest, and after some time she will come to her senses and resent me forever."
He spoke so quietly Sir John could hardly hear him. Still, the genuine fear of losing Marianne's good opinion and appreciation, her love, was so poignant in his voice Sir John felt a stab in his heart too.
"You're just going to have to be brave, my friend, and trust what you've already learned about her. She may have become infatuated a little too easily with Willoughby but even then she never took her own feelings in the matter lightly." Sir John encouraged his friend.
A long sigh indicated that Brandon was unable to argue Sir John anymore. He would have to do something about this or he would lose his mind. He was sleeping little enough as it was and his waking hours were filled with longing for her at a scale had never known before. It was as if he was unable to breathe properly without her. He nodded at Sir John and put his glass down.
"In for a penny, in for a pound," he said to the older man and left the room.
In the parlour Marianne saw Fitzwilliam approach her and in her desperation to try and avoid the young man as long as possible she turned her back to him, pretending to look for someone. That very moment Brandon emerged from the library and their eyes found each other's. Suddenly Brandon was very grateful for that shot of Dutch courage he'd had in the library. His stomach seemed to do a crazy loop and what his heart was doing he could not rightly tell. And in that very moment a dark could took over his mood as well as he saw that young fellow approach Marianne and her sister who was still standing there. His eyes caught Marianne's again, but this time what he read there was clear: she was pleading for him to come over.
Elinor noticed her sister suddenly turn, then saw something akin to panic on her face. At that point Elinor became aware of Mr Fitzwilliam approaching and she realized Marianne was practically begging for someone to come and rescue them. When Elinor turned around she saw that someone was Colonel Brandon. "Right, now or never" Elinor thought to herself as she, too, fixed her eyes on the Colonel and with much less subtlety than her younger sister mouthed a silent "please, come."
"Ahh, Miss Marianne. And this must be your sister, Mrs Ferrars?" Mr Fitzwilliam's thin and far too carefully practiced voice was heard, and this time he had opted to come and stand far too close to Marianne. Too close for Brandon's liking.