We got a new friend. We got a new host. We got a new episode! Now all we need…
IS A REVIEW!
ABC: Hey, peeps! This is our special no-hosts-in-person episode. That means Zuria and Silena and our new friend, Isi. However, they are going to be commenting, because they hid a speaker on me. Which I'm not too happy about, but, hey, if I get to torture Percy, bring it ON! *fazes off*
Zuria: *speaker cackling to life* So…that was strange. Hey, you! *snap and an "OW!"* Get in the teleportation machine and wake her up!
**Instantly a girl with long, stringy, strawberry blond hair apparates next to ABC. She's our new helper, Birdie. I would hug her, but at the moment…she's kind of slapping ABC**
Birdie: Hey! Kind of? I think I AM!
Zuria: Sorr-ree!
Birdie: Whatever. *slaps ABC, making sure she comes to, then teleports back*
Isi: Why, hello! Heehee. I have nothing to say.
ABC: Can I have the scrambled eggs, please…? Oh, wait…hey, Percy!
Seaweed Brain: NOOOO! THEY FOLLOW ME!
ABC: *temporarily teleports away so people stare at Percy weirdly, then comes back* Mission 1 accomplished: Make people wary of Percy.
Seaweed Brain: *groan* You have a list…how many things are on that list? Or do I not want to know?
ABC: Depends on what your definition of ouch is.
Seaweed Brain: Somewhere between "OW!" and "Holy fork that hurt like Hades! Aww, shoot, shoot, shoot, flame on, shoot! Trying to keep bad libbing to a minimum! OH, FORK!"
ABC: Then I better not tell you.
Isi: … No comment…
Seaweed Brain: Any idea when this is going to end?
ABC: This is my first time on a plane. We're going to Colorado! This is my first time out of state! So just deal with ABC the excited!
Seaweed Brain: Wait, you have a teleporting machine but you've never been out of state? Smart one.
ABC: Oh, be quiet.
Pilot: Stand by for takeoff. Stand by for Staying Alive.
Flight Attendants: *in a Glee-like manner, burst into unexpected and well-choreographed and yet so horrible and bright and happy song.* Stayin' alive! Stayin' alive! Un…like…Per…cy! Stayin' aliiiiiiiive!
Seaweed Brain: MAKE IT END!
ABC: What? We didn't plan this!
Flight Attendants: *sway and start to sing True Colors, and they could not get a worse person to sing the lead part* I see your true colors shining through! I see your true colors! And that's why I love you…
Seaweed Brain: There is no better name for this show…
ABC: Exactly. *fazes off*
Zuria: Okay, it's Vichic's turn.
Vichic: Joy. *apparates to ABC, slaps her, waves at the computer screen, leaves*
ABC: NO! DON'T HURT HIM!
Zuria: *snickering* Who wonders who she's talking about…?
ABC: Oh, shuddup, Zuria. You can be so freaking obnoxious sometimes.
Zuria: And you're surprised?
Silena Riva: *filing nails in a corner* Remember, this is Zuria you're talking to.
Zuria: *glaring at Silena Riva* You're nice.
Silena Riva: *smiling sweetly* I know.
Isi: **randomly pops in** Schmello! Goodbye! **pops out again**
ABC: Anyway, mission two is complete. Make sure Percy knows just how awesome we are.
Seaweed Brain: You guys have such big heads.
ABC: And you're surprised?
Seaweed Brain: Guess you're right.
ABC: News for you—I always am.
Seaweed Brain: Again, big head.
Isi: I know someone who's almost always right…
Pilot: Standard flight time is 7 to 8 episodes.
Seaweed Brain: *groans* PLEEEEEEASE GODS NOOOOOO!
ABC: Mission three is complete. Make sure Percy is being tortured.
Seaweed Brain: Long list, huh?
ABC: Yup!
Seaweed Brain: *sigh*
ABC: Anyway, I think this has gone on long enough—and Zuria's burnt on ideas (she's actually writing this one, peeps), so she's gonna hand it over to Silena River or Isi…one of them.
Silena Riva: (Silena River here!) *tries to type something on her old clunker of a laptop* Gah! I can hardly type anything with this brace on! *takes brace off her wrist and starts typing again* Much better. *presses button and freezes ABC, Seaweed Brain, and their plane* Zuria, why do we have to be in this stale old room while ABC is on the luxury plane with Seaweed Brain?
Zuria: It's the no-hosts-in-person episode. Why were you wearing a brace?
Silena Riva: I got practically tackled during street hockey. Duh. *rolls eyes* But this sucks. I'm getting on that plane. *teleports onto the plane*
Zuria: Silena, no!
Silena Riva: *pulls out walkie-talkie she carries everywhere* Zuria, I never said wherethe plane was going. Psh, I'm going to Hawaii! *gives an evil laugh; speaker crackles and dies*
Zuria: Hawaii! So flipping unfair! Well, that's the end of her part in the episode, I guess. *presses button and unfreezes ABC, Seaweed Brain, and their plane*
Seaweed Brain: Wait, Zuria was writing this torture? And someone else is taking over? YES! *punches fist in the air*
Isi: uh… I don't get a say. Darn.
Silena Riva: *a voice enters everyone's heads* Hello. It is I, Silena River. Or Riva. Whatever. Yes, Seaweed Brain, Zuria is not writing this part, but I am.
Seaweed Brain: *gulps* I-I, um…
Silena Riva: Save it. But I am your sister, so I may go easy on you.
Seaweed Brain: *relaxes* Oh, okay. Good. I thought you were going to do something horrible to me.
ABC: Yeah, I thought you were going to do something horrible to him! C'mon!
Vichic: I want my money back!
Zuria: We don't pay you, and you never paid us.
Vichic: Yeah, but still…
Silena Riva: Oh, c'mon guys! He's my brother!
Zuria: *mutters under breath* It was a mistake to let her torture Percy…
Silena Riva: Jeez. May I remind you, it was my idea to put Percy in a plane.
Zuria: Hey! Well, I guess it was...but that doesn't change anything!
Silena Riva: Whatever…and I only said that I "may go easy on" him. It was not exactly a money-back guarantee.
Morgie: Oh good. For a second there I thought you were going to let him go.
Silena Riva: Psh. Naw, not at all. Alright, fire up the doohickey!
Zuria: *whispering questioningly* Doohickey?
Isi: … Doohickey?
Birdie: *apparates onto the plane and goes up to the cockpit* Alright boys. Let's see some turbulence. *hands them some money* You know what to do. *apparates away*
Zuria: BRIBERY! You are sinking to some new lows, Riv. *shaking head*
Pilot: *over the speakers* Excuse me folks. We are currently pulling into an unavoidable storm, and you are about to experience some turbulence. So please fasten your seatbelts, and enjoy the ride.
Seaweed Brain: Oh gods… Does the word family mean nothing to you people?
Zuria: You should hear what I do to my sister.
Silena Riva: Yeah. I'm treating you just like family, too. I torture my younger brother, so why can't I torture my older demigod brother too?
ABC: *laughs* You just got served!
Zuria: *chuckles* Buckle up, Percy. You're about to get shaken worse than those slushies on that insanely stupid "Slushie Magic" commercial. ABC, I recommend leaving.
ABC: Alright. *snaps fingers so she and other passengers disapparate*
Seaweed Brain: *clutches armrests in terror* Oh gods, I'm gonna die.
Zuria: No, that would be too good.
Co-Pilot: *speaking to Pilot* Alright, here we go! Let's shake this poor sucker's guts out.
Pilot: *speaking to Co-Pilot* Alright! *tips the plane into a steep nose-dive*
Seaweed Brain: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Storm: *creates a storm* Haha, this'll teach that arrogant child not to enter my domain!
Co-Pilot: *waves out the window* Thanks Zeus!
Storm: No problem, man.
Pilot: Oh, we may have bitten off more than we could chew.
Co-Pilot: *looks up from a sandwich* Whaa?
Pilot: I mean, the controls are starting to malfunction.
Seaweed Brain: A storm?
Storm: *flashes in* What?
Seaweed Brain: Nothing!
Storm: Stupid demigod. *slaps Percy then flashes out*
Seaweed Brain: *rubs his cheek* Oww…..
Isi: hah. Percy got slapped.
Zuria: Be happy you're not in an Anne Ursu book. She mauls those characters.
Pilot: *over the speakers* Well, it looks like we're all gonna die. Buckle up and pray to whatever gods you wish, because we'll hit the ground in T minus…three seconds.
Seaweed Brain: Ohgodsohgodsohgods!
Silena Riva: Wahoo! This is gonna be good!
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! WILL PERCY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE? WILL SILENA SAVE HER BROTHER? STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE! Coming soon.
Zuria: Willyou save Percy?
Silena Riva: NO! How dare you doubt me! Cut the voice-over guy!
Wait, you guys! Don't-what are you doing with that-?*static*
Zuria: What? NO! That was Next Time, my emo boyfriend! NOOOOO!
Isi: HAH! I GET THE LAST SAY!
Zuria: Stop kidding yourself. OVERRULED!