A/N: Holy crap, how did this get to be so long? Here I am desperately trying to finish this so I can go watch season 4, and then it becomes all long and stuff.
Arthur did not wake up pleasantly that morning, to Merlin's voice. Nor did he wake up to the less pleasant but still not so bad rays of light that meant Merlin had slept in and forgotten to wake him up.
No, he woke up to knocking. Again. Knocking was never a good sign.
Arthur staggered out of bed and opened the door, noting that it was barely dawn.
"Your highness, there is a madman!" Fenron gibbered. Arthur blinked, wishing this could've happened at a not-morning time.
"Merlin?" Fenron wrung his hands.
"No, a different one! He demands entrance to the castle, and he bit Sir Leon when Sir Leon stopped him!" Arthur groaned. He really needed to give Leon a pay raise.
"Go fetch Merlin and tell him to get here, then fetch two knights and tell them to let the man in, but restrain him." Fenron didn't even send him a dirty look for being sent around as an errand boy. Instead the advisor hurried away, looking fearful.
Arthur spent a few minutes pacing, trying to recall everything his father ever told him about the proper treatment of the mad. He thought that throwing one in the dungeons might have been proper procedure, but he could be mixing them up with tax evaders.
The door flew open. Good, Merlin was here. Merlin was a morning person.
"You look terrible, don't you know enough to wipe away drool when you wake up?" Oh, right. His father sent people with mental afflictions to work for him then laughed behind his hand as Arthur struggled.
"I don't drool!" Arthur snapped. He blinked at Merlin. "You got here quickly."
"It's been five minutes." Merlin peered at him. "You're half asleep."
"Right. Why are you here again?" Merlin grinned. Arthur thought it was a sinister expression, which wasn't right because no one should be sinister this early in the morning! No one should be anything but asleep this early in the morning.
"I'll just wake you up then." Arthur considered the ways Merlin could wake him up. Most them involved hands in inappropriate places, and if he was capable of higher thought he would be getting these images out of his head.
Merlin stepped closer, which wasn't helping, and reached for something. Arthur tipped his head.
"Bloody hell!" Then reeled back when he realized that Merlin had grabbed the water pitcher. And tossed it's contents on Arthur. "Merlin!"
"Don't you feel bright eyed and bushy tailed now!" Merlin said cheerfully. He grinned at Arthur, whose head and shoulders were now soaking wet and bloody cold. Arthur glared at him.
"No."
"That's funny, because you always do this to me when I'm sleepy." Arthur scowled at Merlin.
"I don't throw pitchers." Merlin grinned.
"I know! I felt that, because I am a mere servant and you're Prince of Camelot, it would take more water to wake your mind." Arthur frowned, and tried to figure out whether that was a compliment or not. "Why am I here, by the way?"
"There's a madman demanding to see me." Merlin stopped grinning.
"Are you going to meet him?"
"Of course." Arthur shrugged. "I just wanted someone else with a strange mind to be there, so as to interpret for him." Merlin rolled his eyes.
Arthur strode into the throne room with Merlin at his side. Gwaine and Lancelot stood on either side of a wild eyed man in cuffs. His clothing was raggedy and his eyes roamed the room like a trapped rat.
Leon was also there, glaring at the man and rubbing his hand.
Arthur paced forward met the man's eyes. Merlin hung at his shoulder and watched warily. "I am Arthur Pendragon. You have something to say to me?"
"No!" Arthur raised his eyebrows.
"I had heard that you were forcing entrance to the citadel." The man nodded defiantly.
"I do not seek you. I seek Uther, the true king! Where is he, that he need hide from his people?" Arthur's intestines turned to ice. "We have not seen our King in months! Is he dead? Destroyed, under a curse of magic?"
Arthur froze. At least he would be honest when he said this his father wasn't dead or under magic, but destroyed…maybe. Come to think of it, he hadn't even looked to his father in months. He'd been too busy.
"The King is ill, and going out into the winter air would only hurt his health. That's the whole reason you've seen so much of Arthur. If your concerns are for something with such an obvious answer, I suggest you go find the village you deprived of it's idiot." Lancelot answered for Arthur. He was staring at the man with intense dislike.
"Besideswhich, where did you get the idea that it was your job to force your way into the citadel and demand the King's attention? He has far more important things on his mind than you." Gwaine continued where Lancelot left off, also glaring at the man.
"And you're wasting Arthur's time." Merlin added. "Did you have anything else to say?"
"The people will not allow this forever!" The man declared. "We demand our King!"
"No, then." Merlin glared at him. "Arthur, do you want him in the dungeons?"
"No." Arthur said quietly. He wasn't sure quite what he wanted to do with this man, but his allegations had more truth than half the tripe that came from his own advisor's mouths. "I want him moved to a comfortable room, put under guard, and I want Gaius sent for."
"Yes sire." Lancelot put a hand on the man's shoulder. "Come on, and be thankful the prince is merciful."
"I should be more thankful for a merciful King!" The man cried, as Lancelot pulled him away. Arthur sighed. Gwaine, who was following them, half turned and made a strange gesture at Merlin. Merlin flashed him a grin.
Arthur tried to burn a hole in Gwaine's back. He failed.
"Leon, summon the other knights of the table. I want to hold conference with them." When burning a hole in Gwaine's back failed, ordering people around would do. "Merlin, get me breakfast."
"You could say please." Arthur glared at Merlin.
"I could, but since you're my servant and therefore have a duty to do as I order, I won't. Now do as I say!" Merlin glared at him and stomped off, muttering darkly. Arthur scowled at his back and stomped in the opposite direction.
Then stomped back because the knights would be meeting in the conference room, and that was in the same direction Merlin was walking. Stupid conference room. He had to find a better place to meet with them anyway, that room had too much paperwork in it.
Percival and Elyan were the first there. Elyan studiously avoided looking at Arthur, and Arthur wondered what exactly he'd heard of Arthur and Gwen's separation. Percival nodded to him and smiled.
Lancelot, Merlin and Gwaine came in at the same time. Merlin separated from them and set a plate of meat on the table. Arthur could feel the chill emanating from him.
When Leon came in, looking disgruntled and with a new bandage, Arthur started to talk.
"I want to discuss the mood of the people." As one, the knights shifted uncomfortably. "I see that it is not a welcome topic."
"They adore you." Leon said. He hesitated. "They're only a bit…curious."
"They're not happy." Elyan said flatly. "No one has seen Uther since before Morgana was queen, for all they know he's dead."
"Neither have we." pointed out Percival. Arthur grimaced. "He must be very sick."
"Was the man this morning an example of most people's feelings?" Arthur asked. He'd rightly guessed that the news had gotten round to Elyan and Percival of the madman. They all exchanged uneasy looks. "Merlin?"
"No." Merlin's tone was firm. "They aren't about to riot, or rebel, or do anything like. The people trust you."
"They're only confused." Elyan said. He shrugged. "They find it odd that so long has passed without anyone being executed."
So his lack of paranoia was making the people uneasy. Just great.
"It's just rabble rousers, like the man in the dungeons." Leon sighed. "The general populace has more to think about than Uther's absence, but it's a convenient excuse to stir things up. We can always throw the people who speak of it into the dungeons."
"We'd fill them up pretty fast." Elyan muttered.
"No." Arthur shook his head. "If we do that, people will only notice it more. Just confront the people who say such things, and tell them that they are fools. Try to discredit them."
"Yes sire." Leon bowed his head. Of course, Leon would probably be the expert in whether or not anyone had committed petty crimes. Experienced knights were so helpful.
"Elyan, I have a special task for you." Elyan jerked his head around to Arthur, looking startled. "Of all of us, you have lived in the lower town longest. I want you to talk to the people."
"About what?"
"What they think is happening up here. The citadel, and I, are separated from the people. You are a knight, you have their respect, but you aren't confined to a station above them. You are invaluable, and for more than your skill as a fighter." Elyan straightened, a glimmer of pride entering his eyes. "Try to pluck the seeds of discontent from the ground before they have a chance to root."
"Yes, sire." Arthur turned to his remaining knights. Gwaine looked like he hoped Arthur didn't have anything he had to do. Lancelot, conversely, looked eager to help. Percival was reading a scroll upside down.
"Dismissed. Merlin, come with me. I want to talk to Gaius." The knights filed out, though Percival looked regretful. Maybe he hadn't finished perusing Fenron's list of complaints. Arthur walked out after them, ignoring his manservant.
It wasn't until they reached Gaius's chambers that Merlin actually spoke up.
"So, not to be repetitive, but why am I here?"
Arthur closed the door to Gaius's chambers. Merlin swallowed.
"Because you're the one who tends to my father." Merlin nodded. "Has he changed at all?"
"Not really." Arthur glared at Merlin. "What do you want me to say? He doesn't talk to me, and if he does he thinks I'm Morgana and he's busy apologizing to her!"
Arthur went still. He hadn't spoken of Morgana in about as long as he hadn't looked to his father. Merlin sighed.
"I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do Arthur. We've tried everything." Arthur clenched his fists. He hated being helpless.
"Maybe if you spent more time working on treatments rather than avoiding your duties, you'd have found something!"
"I don't avoid my duties!" Arthur snorted.
"Oh, don't you? You're insubordinate, you're lazy, you spend all your time sticking your nose into business that doesn't concern you-"
"I just rescued your princely arse from, the, that rebel group, and now I'm lazy! I could've just left you there!"
"That would be treason!"
"So I'm either a terrible servant, or I'm committing treason? You don't make any sense!"
"Neither do you!"
"That doesn't make sense!" Merlin flung his hands in the air. "What is your problem today?"
"You're busy mooning around after those who are far above your station, instead of working as you should!"
Merlin froze, staring at him with enormous eyes. Then he glared.
"Well excuse me." Merlin's voice was layered in poison. "While I go find your sister, cure your father, and bring peace to the land, which I obviously couldn't do because I was busy lazily skipping round the fields of daisies which make up my life."
"What in the world are you two doing?" Arthur turned. Gaius was standing in the doorway, looking suitably bewildered.
"Nothing. I'm going to gather those herbs you wanted." Merlin stormed out, picking up a basket as he went. He slammed the door on the way out.
"I wish to speak with you about my father." Arthur decided to ignore the fact that he had been yelling at Gaius's ward for no good reason. Except there was a perfectly good reason. He just didn't remember it.
"Oh." Gaius said heavily. "May I sit? I find that in this weather, my old bones just want rest."
"Of course." Arthur awkwardly listened to Gaius's bones creak when he sat down. "Have you made any progress towards a cure?"
"Sire…" Gaius closed his eyes. "King Uther is mad."
"Madmen recover." Gaius shook his head, clearly trying to say whatever he wanted to say as gently as he could.
"His body is weak. Your father hasn't been able to stand for months. He doesn't know what's around him, and he will likely never be fit to address the people again." Arthur sagged. "Sire, you knew all this."
"I thought you were working on something." Gaius shook his head.
"I try to lessen your father's pain. That is all I can do." Arthur tightened his clenched fists. "Do you yourself ail?"
"No." Nothing physical, anyway. Arthur was sure that the tight feeling in his chest had nothing to do with anything but emotions. "Send any orders for herbs you need up to my chambers with Merlin. I have to go and work out a trade embargo with a northern clan."
"Do that again." Gwaine asked eagerly. Merlin flicked his fingers, and the snow whirled around in a sphere. Lancelot and Gwaine burst into applause. Merlin ducked his head.
"It's not exactly difficult."
"It's amazing." The three of them sat on a log, one Merlin had cleared of snow with a wave of his hand. Lancelot was staring at the sphere of snow, his mouth hanging open. "What else can you do?"
"Um…" Merlin waved a hand around. The snow moved again, this time building itself into a miniature castle. Gwaine peered at the tiny details. "I mostly just wave my hands and let things happen."
"Who taught you?" Gwaine murmured. In his knowledge of sorcerers and sorceresses, they had to do things like speak spells and work, not use power in such an easy way.
"No one. Things just happen, and I can sort of…do things." Merlin shrugged. His eyes turned gold again, and a patch of snow melted, clearing a spot of ground. A patch of grass grew up, turned brown, and sank back into the ground.
Gwaine laughed. "That's brilliant!"
"You'd be the first to say so." Merlin muttered. Gwaine clapped him on the back.
"What's got you mopey?" Merlin shrugged.
"Oh, Arthur. He's being a prat. But it's nothing important." Merlin smiled and flung a hand up. Ice crystals coalesced around it and moved, making a sword. They reformed into a bird, which Merlin sent flying around the treetops.
"Oh." Gwaine glanced at Lancelot. Lancelot looked equally irate. "Show us something else, will you? I've never seen magic like this."
"Sure." Merlin looked happy to oblige. Gwaine was guessing that no one had ever encouraged him to actually use his talents before. "Let's see…oh, here's something. Both of you don't move."
Lancelot and Gwaine nodded obediently. Merlin was still, his eyes gold.
A fox drifted into the clearing. Gwaine's mouth fell open as it trotted right up to Merlin, sniffed his fingers, and settled on the ground next to the log. Merlin flashed both a grin.
"You can talk to animals?" Gwaine murmured. Merlin shrugged and held out a wrist. A bird fluttered onto it, and seemed quite content to sit there as Merlin stroked it's head and back.
"Sort of." He tipped his head. "It's more like the forest is friendly, and the animals are part of it."
"I wondered how you got an eagle to fly for me when you needed my help." Lancelot commented. "You know that you're amazing, right?"
"Thanks." Merlin still didn't look completely happy. Gwaine and Lancelot exchanged a grim look.
Clearly, something had to be done about the situation with Arthur. They silently agreed to talk about it later, and return to being entertained by Merlin's magic. Gwaine loved seeing it.
"So Merlin, what else can you do?" Merlin grinned.
"This is a neat trick." His eyes turned gold and held out a hand. A small flame was cradled there. Gwaine instinctively shifted away, then remembered that this was Merlin, who was just about as benevolent as you could get. The flame leapt from his hand to the air, and began to twirl and form different shapes. Merlin watched with a smile.
Gwaine thought that Arthur was exceedingly lucky to have this power on his side.
Merlin frowned suddenly, and went rigid. He was fixated on the flame, which continued to bob innocently in the air.
"Merlin?" Lancelot asked. He stared at Merlin worriedly. Gwaine turned to look at Merlin's eyes. They were bright gold, but formless shadows moved across them.
"Merlin!" Gwaine shook him. Sweat had broken out on Merlin's brow. "Merlin!"
"What's happened to him?" Lancelot hissed. Gwaine shook his head.
"I don't know!"
"Stop this." Merlin said it suddenly, and with complete calm. "Stop this right now. We don't want to hurt each other." His brow furrowed. "This isn't you, is it?"
"Who is he talking to?" Gwaine shrugged. Lancelot sighed. "This only happens when I'm with Merlin you know. The rest of the time my life is perfectly normal."
"No, it isn't you. Who is she? I'm sorry, but this might hurt. You should run though." Merlin's face turned sad. "I wish you could run back here too. Oh, was I not supposed to hear that? Sorry. Anyway, we need to break this. Well, I need to, since you can't. Goodbye."
Merlin's eyes turned a far more intense gold. It covered not only his pupils but the whites of his eyes, and all the hairs on Gwaine's arms stood up. Merlin hissed in sudden pain and collapsed.
Gwaine and Lancelot stared at each other, wondering what the hell had just happened.
"I say we move him."
"He might still be in the throes of some magic, and if he gets back to Camelot and wakes up with his eyes practically spitting gold, he'll be executed!"
"Not necessarily-" Merlin pushed himself onto his elbows. Lancelot and Gwaine leaned over him. "Merlin?" Lancelot asked.
"Whassagoinon?" Lancelot nodded to Gwaine.
"See, he's awake and his eyes aren't gold. Help me get him onto my horse." Merlin blinked as Lancelot and Gwaine hauled him to his feet.
How strange. His feet didn't want to hold him up.
"Here, give him my cloak." Gwaine unclipped his scarlet cloak and handed it to Lancelot, who wrapped it around Merlin. "I'll take him, my horse is stronger than yours."
Merlin blinked and tried to unfuzzle his brain as Gwaine swung him onto the horse. What had just happened? He'd been showing magic to Gwaine and Lancelot, which was very fun because normally the only thing he ever heard people say about his magic was "don't".
The horse began to canter, and the movement sent pain through Merlin's joints. The pain also jarred his brain, and brought back memory of the last few minutes.
He'd been showing them the fire trick when something went wrong, and he was staring at Morgana's face in the flame. She had been crying and in pain, gibbering out words that weren't her own.
"Stop this." Merlin had told Morgana, because Morgana was clearly hysterical. "Stop this right now."
Then he'd taken a closer look at Morgana, and seen that there was a shadow lurking behind her. "We don't want to hurt each other."
And she didn't. Looking closer at the shadow, Merlin was sure that Morgana was just a conduit. They had a bond, of sorts, and Morgana was being used without her consent.
"This isn't you, is it?" Morgana had been able to shake her head, tear tracks glistening. "No, it isn't you. Who is she?" That didn't do any good. Morgana wasn't free to speak.
"I'm sorry, but this might hurt. You should run though." That brought a surge of grief from Morgana. She had fallen on rough times indeed, and was longing for Camelot. Longing for the sense of safety and security it brought, for people who would have cried out in anger to see her on her knees in a forest with bloody knees and a ripped dress.
"I wish you could run back here too. Oh, sorry, was I not supposed to hear that?" Merlin missed Morgana. It would have been nice not to be the only one fighting in the war against Arthur's total pratitude. And he feared for her.
Morgana was very near despair.
"Sorry. Anyway, we need to break this. Well, I need to because you can't. Goodbye." He'd summoned up raw magic and sent it through the bond, overloading the tenuous threads that went from the shadow, to Morgana, to him.
Which had of course, knocked him reeling because he'd just burned out something in his own mind. Merlin was pretty sure that had been stupid. And that he was worried about Morgana, because how in the world had she ended up with that woman looking over her shoulder?
"Are you feeling better?" Merlin jumped. He was sitting on Gwaine's horse, and wrapped in Gwaine's cloak.
"Yes, I'm fine." They clattered into Camelot.
"Well, Lancelot and I will see you up to Gaius's chambers. Don't want you collapsing on the way." Gwaine swung off his horse. Lancelot followed him, and both held out their hands. Merlin sighed.
"I can get off a horse on my own." Which was of course, the cue for his clumsiness to kick in. Gwaine caught him, but still. Merlin shook off the two knights. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You should go to Gaius." Merlin plastered a smile on his face. Lancelot was, after all, honestly concerned and probably didn't deserve to have his anatomy reversed.
"Yes. I'm just going to go for a walk in the lower town." Gwaine and Lancelot exchanged dire looks. "I really don't want to deal with Prince Prat right now." Merlin said quietly. He took off the cloak and handed it to Gwaine. "Thanks for the cloak. But I'd like some time alone."
"…sure." Gwaine frowned at him. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Do you want me to give you boils?" Gwaine raised his hands and grinned at Merlin. Lancelot rolled his eyes.
"Fine, we'll leave. We have…things to do." Gwaine trotted off, Lancelot on his heels. Merlin shook his head and wandered into the lower town.
"You have to talk to him."
"Why don't you do it! He doesn't trust me, I accidentally stole Gwen!"
"Well he certainly won't listen to me! And if I do it, I'm going to end up punching him. You have self control."
"You wouldn't punch him, he's our sovereign!"
"…and?"
"Fine, but if Arthur kills me you get to tell Leon."
"He won't kill you, he likes you."
"What part of accidentally stealing Gwen do you not understand?"
"Oh, it's not like he really loved her. Which is the whole point of our needing to talk to him. And how is Gwen, anyway?"
"We aren't speaking."
"Oh. Then you need feel no guilt while talking to Arthur! Go!" Gwaine unceremoniously pushed Lancelot forward into Arthur's door. Lancelot glared at Gwaine over his shoulder as Arthur opened it.
Gwaine, displaying his rarely used talent for getting out of trouble, faded into the shadows.
"What do you want, Lancelot?" Arthur was in a foul mood. Lancelot swallowed and stepped forward, reminding himself that he was just as tall as Arthur. So there.
"I want to talk to you about Merlin." Arthur eyed him, and, to Lancelot's surprise, let him into the room. Lancelot paused on the threshold, staring incredulously.
Water was spilled on the floor, and a pitcher was on the other side of the room with a dent in it. The chair was missing a leg, and various articles of clothing were strewn over the floor. Lancelot's mouth opened and closed.
It was good that he'd come and not Gwaine then. Gwaine would have accused Arthur's of having the world's biggest temper tantrum. Which had probably happened, but Lancelot wasn't going to say so out loud.
"Well, what do you want?" Arthur slammed the door. "This had better not be Merlin's way of quitting."
"Merlin isn't going to quit." Lancelot shifted his weight, wondering just how to put this. "I wanted to talk about um, feelings."
"Great." Arthur groaned. "Just great. Do you want to have a group hug too?"
Actually, that would likely be good for the round table, but Lancelot wasn't going to say so. Diplomacy. If all he and Gwaine wanted to accomplish was mock Arthur, Gwaine would be in here.
"Well, no. But you should hug Merlin. It won't hurt your reputation at all."
"Oh, like Gwaine hugs Merlin?" Arthur asked icily. Lancelot backtracked.
"Well no, not exactly like that, because you two of course have a very different relationship than Gwaine and Merlin-"
"I'll bet." Arthur said darkly.
"Anyway, this is about Merlin's heart, and, um, the way you've been handling it." Lancelot tried to think of what Gwen would do right now. Then stopped, because thinking about Gwen hurt.
"What do you mean by that?" Arthur glared at him.
"You've been treating him badly." Arthur rolled his eyes. Lancelot frowned.
"Oh, his little love can survive one stupid fight. It didn't seem to affect his romance." Lancelot bristled.
"Excuse me? Merlin was torn up over that fight, and don't talk about his feelings that way!" Arthur scowled.
"My insignificant opinion will hardly impact Merlin. He goes about with whomever he likes."
"Merlin has the right to love anyone he likes." Lancelot said heatedly. Even if the person who had the honor of Merlin's love was a bloody prat and had a funny way of showing that he reciprocated.
"…fine." Arthur suddenly looked weary. "I accept that. I just wish…never mind." Arthur closed his eyes. "Lancelot, please convey my apologies to Merlin. Now if I could have some privacy, there are matters I wish to attend to."
"Okay." Lancelot was fairly sure he'd botched the "tell Arthur to stop being a prat and kiss Merlin already" plan. Especially since now Arthur was claiming that he knew about Merlin's feelings and didn't feel the same way and Lancelot was confused.
Maybe Gwaine would understand.
Morgana. Shadow woman. Arthur.
Merlin wandered over a deserted street, trying to decide which bothered him more. There was the fact that Arthur was being pissy and told him to not act lovestruck which pretty much implied that Arthur wasn't lovestruck and therefore Merlin was going to spend his entire life pining for a prat.
Or he could contemplate the fact that there was an enchantress who may or may not be the wife of one of Camelot's enemies, who also might be preparing to go to war with Camelot, and who was powerful enough to break into Morgana's mind and through her Merlin's mind. That was nice and scary.
Morgana. Merlin really didn't want to hurt Morgana, and he also had to find some way to check up on her and see if she was okay because if he'd knocked himself out with his own magic, god knows what had happened to Morgana. Or how she ended up in a forest with sorceress, or where she was because there were loads of forests in Albion and that was not helpful. Or why she was crying, since Merlin was nice and didn't like seeing girls cry, even if they were possibly plotting the destruction of Camelot. Again.
Speaking of which, Merlin could hear someone crying. Now.
Merlin hesitantly knocked on the door of the house. It swung open.
"Are you-oh." Gwen was on a cushion by the hearth, her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook with tears, and Merlin was sure that she'd ruined that particular dress by sitting in the ashes. She looked up, saw Merlin, and failed to stop crying.
Merlin, whatever else his flaws, was never without sympathy. Even for those who had done him wrong.
"Oh. Oh, Gwen…" Merlin stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Gwen's shoulders. She took her hands away from her face-she'd gotten soot on her cheeks, and her tear tracks streaked it in an unappealing way, and buried her head in Merlin's shoulder. "Shh. It's okay."
Merlin rubbed Gwen's back as she sobbed. It was unfortunate that he was never the type to hate. Had be been, this would have been a time to laugh.
"Shh, shh. What's wrong?" Gwen shuddered and drew herself up, wiping her arm over her eyes. Merlin fumbled in a pocket and handed her a napkin he'd accidentally stolen from Arthur.
"Thank you." Gwen wiped her eyes. "You're speaking to me?"
"You're crying?" Merlin responded. Gwen laughed in a broken way.
"My life is…" She looked over her soiled dress and sands. "Ashes is a fit description. And a good part of me is sure I deserve it."
"Gwen, no." Merlin rubbed her back.
"I should apologize." There was no need to say what for. Merlin shrugged. "I never meant to hurt you."
"It wasn't me you were hurting." Gwen dabbed at her cheeks.
"I did think he was sleeping with you. And I thought you'd stabbed me in the back." Merlin sighed. "I should have known you would never…I mean, you were the one egging Arthur on."
"I probably shouldn't have. I always knew you had feelings for Lancelot." Gwen shuddered, and a few fresh tears trembled on her lashes.
"He isn't speaking to me." Merlin clucked in sympathy and tightened the arm around her shoulders. "I should expect it, he's so stupidly noble, he can't bear to think that he hurt his friend and his ruler, and now Leon doesn't even look at me and Elyan dances around talking to me and I miss you!" Gwen burst out.
"I missed you too." Merlin smiled at her. Gwen managed a smile back. "I only ever wanted you and Arthur to be happy."
"Look how that worked out." Gwen said wearily. "I'm here cleaning people's houses for spare money, and ever since that tournament where it occurred to me that we were fighting over someone I didn't want and you didn't have, I've just not been able to go long without crying."
"I shouldn't have blamed you so. You were angry, of course you lashed out with Lancelot." Merlin sighed. "It seems so…childish, not to talk to your for months because of something so simple."
"I know. I was just so insulted, and I thought I'd been passed up in favor of someone who even stranger than I was." Gwen blushed. "Not that you aren't normal, it's just that it seemed like I'd almost been killed for that ridiculous sham of a romance and I was feeling jilted and so guilty because I didn't even want Arthur-"
"Don't worry about it." Merlin snorted. "Everyone was being stupid in that debacle." He paused. "We really could have used a mind not entangled in some sort of mess."
"Good luck finding one of those." Gwen made an unladylike noise. Merlin sighed.
"Gods, I miss Morgana."
"So do I!" Gwen rested her head on his shoulder. "I never want to say so because she's hurt so many people, but sometimes I'd give anything to hear her laughing or just be able to do up her hair again."
"I miss having an ally against Arthur." Merlin said quietly. Gwen patted his shoulder. "And I'm worried about her. It's winter, and I don't think Morgause taught her any magic that wasn't about killing."
"Oh, poor Morgana." Gwen sniffled. "It's awful, but I just want to go find her and bring her home and make sure she's bathed and has clean hair and a decent dress."
Merlin had a feeling that saying he wanted to make sure she wasn't being mind controlled by an evil sorceress wouldn't quite keep up this nice, non aggressive conversation.
"I wish she could come home." Gwen sighed, and they sat in companionable silence. "I can try to get Lancelot to talk to you."
"Thank you. I love him, you know. He was never a tool to strike at Arthur."
"I know you aren't that devious." Merlin assured her. Gwen laughed. "I've seen the way you look at him."
"He's just…I don't understand why I love him so much, but every time I see him it's like the sun is shining through the clouds." Gwen closed her eyes. "May god forgive me for ever leading Arthur on that way."
"You never wanted to be Queen." Merlin commented. "It seems like everyone who wants Arthur had better at least be ready for that kind of power."
"Not everyone." Gwen said. Merlin flushed. "You can go after him. I'd rather you both be happy."
"I wish." Merlin looked around the little house. "He's not interested."
"Oh." Merlin got the sense that Gwen was reserving judgment on that. "Is he being a prat?"
"Yes." Merlin muttered. Gwen got to her feet and pulled him up. She looped their arms together.
"Then I'll make you dinner. I'm sure Gaius won't mind." Merlin grinned down at her. Gwen's responding smile was almost as bright as his own.
Arthur wanted to be alone.
It was one thing to be in love with a servant. He thought he had dealt with that with Gwen. It was another thing to be in love with a man, but that was basically acceptable and what second cousins were for.
Being in love with a manservant however, was pushing it. Especially when that manservant was in a stupid relationship with a stupid knight who didn't have any obligation to procreate or rule and therefore was really better for the manservant.
Arthur wanted a place where he didn't have to think about Merlin. His room failed. In there he'd not only had to watch from his window as Merlin was fawned over by Gwaine, but had his whole "destroy the room in a fit of jealous rage" impulse foiled by Lancelot. Then of course, the knight had to rise to defend Merlin and Gwaine's relationship, and force Arthur into seeing just how much he wanted Merlin to be happy.
Happiness did likely not equate a relationship with an overloaded crown prince who was stupid enough not to realize that he was in in love with the idiot manservant until he realized he couldn't have him.
The study failed, because Fenron barged in and started ranting about King Lot. Arthur sought an excuse to get away.
"And furthermore, Sir Ector reports that there have been forces from other northern chieftains gathering to support them and if they form an alliance we're all doomed!" Arthur stood, silencing the advisor.
"I appreciate your concerns. In fact, I think I shall go talk them over with my father." Fenron blinked. Arthur smiled. "Unless, of course, you have a problem with that?"
"No your highness." Fenron bowed his way out of the study. Arthur was quite sure that the advisor was waiting outside to make sure he actually did go to see his father. So he gathered up a few papers-funny, Fenron's list of complaints was missing-and drifted up to the tower room.
Arthur could add "I haven't been up here since the plague" to his list of sudden and uncomfortable revelations. It wasn't quite on par with "I love Merlin", but it was close.
The room wasn't at all drafty, but it had a cold feel to it all the same. The only person who ever came up here was probably Merlin, with occasional visits from Gaius. A chair sat by the bed, where the curtains were all drawn.
Well, he'd wanted to be alone. Arthur drew aside the curtain.
Dear gods. When had his father gotten so pale? Uther's once formidable muscles had wasted away, and his hair had thinned and whitened. Arthur sank into the chair.
When had his father turned into an old man? Oh he'd always been old, but never so decrepit. Arthur tentatively touched one hand. The skin felt like thin paper, and his father had always had weather-beaten skin that spoke of years outside. This man looked like a corpse.
"Father?" Arthur was hoping for a miracle. That Uther would open his eyes and respond, and possibly tell him what do about people that were beginning to get suspicious. Or at least stir, and speak.
Uther didn't do anything of the like.
"Did you know I'm in love with Merlin?" If that didn't get a reaction, nothing would. Arthur waited.
Uther snorted in his sleep, and moved a little bit. Arthur sighed and started sifting through the papers he'd grabbed. A report from Sir Ector that there were more signs of Saxons in Orkney, another report from Kai saying that he needed a list of troops so he could asses the grain, a note from Fenron about how extremely necessary it was that Arthur update the color scheme of the curtains in the throne room because spring was coming.
Arthur leaned back in the chair and decided that the list of troops wouldn't be hard to get because that was kept on register, and that reports of Saxons in Orkney was extremely worrying.
"Father, there are Saxons in Orkney. You drove the Saxons from the land, and ended up losing the Northern kingdoms to do it. You would know what to do about this, I'm sure. I only wish I did. I don't want to get us into a war, father." Arthur sighed and leaned over to clasp his father's hand. "I should go, I need to find Merlin and apologize to him. I hope your dreams are pleasant."
Arthur departed. He paused as he trotted down the stairs, squinting through a window to the courtyard. There was Merlin. He had Gwen on his arm, and she appeared to be laughing hysterically as he gestured.
…what? Arthur shook his head.
No, he wasn't hallucinating. Merlin was wandering about with Gwen, just as they used to, and the ridiculous part was that Arthur was too relieved to see that Merlin looked happy to be angry with him.
"Hey, Merlin." Lancelot blinked at Gwen. She blushed and stared at the ground. "Arthur wishes to convey his apologies."
"Oh." Merlin sighed. Then he brightened. "We should go to the tavern together! I haven't eaten there for ages, have you?"
"No?" Merlin grabbed Lancelot's arm and proceeded to drag him along. Lancelot tried to dig in his heels, but Merlin when willful was surprisingly strong. Gwen was hauled on his other arm.
Lancelot blushed and tried to ignore the look of amusement Leon was shooting them from the bar. Merlin plopped down in a seat and grinned at the older knight. Leon raised his tankard to him, also grinning.
"Oh, do you know what?" Merlin clapped his forehead. "I forgot that I need to go and do that thing in Arthur's chambers, you two go on and eat without me."
Merlin left, leaving Lancelot staring at Gwen and Gwen picking at the wood on the table. Lancelot cleared his throat.
"I think Merlin just gave us his blessing." Gwen giggled and smiled at him. Lancelot wondered at how beautiful the candlelight looked on her skin.
"Yes, he isn't subtle is he?" Lancelot reached across the table and took her hand. She blushed deeper.
"I don't mind. You look beautiful." Leon snorted into his drink. Lancelot raised his head and glared at him. Leon rolled his eyes and turned back to his drinking buddies, and Lancelot was pretty sure he was now going to extrapolate on the corniness of Lancelot.
Well Gwen did look beautiful. And she was smiling at him, and seeing as he was the only one of the knights who had gotten the most beautiful girl in Camelot to dinner with him, they shouldn't be commenting.
Arthur wandered the corridors. It was the best way to not run into Merlin, especially since Merlin was going to see the mess in his rooms and murder him in his sleep.
"Arthur!" Well, that plan was a failure. Since when did Pendragon plans fail anyway? Merlin jogged up to him, grinning. "Lancelot said you wanted to apologize?"
"Yes. Some of the things I said to you earlier were unfair." Merlin grinned wider.
"Really? Could you repeat that, just so I can document it properly?" Arthur rolled his eyes and wondered how Merlin could be so exasperating and lovable at the same damn time.
"No. If your hearing is failing, it's your own fault." Merlin fell into step next to him.
"What are we doing?"
"Wandering the corridors pointlessly." Arthur turned down a side hallway, and did an about face when he realized that it was a dead end. Merlin snickered.
"Oh. Okay. Why?"
"What part of pointlessly do you not understand?"
"No, I mean why don't we have a point?"
"Because I'm avoiding thinking."
"That shouldn't be hard for you then."
"Shut up."
"But you always say that me talking means you can't think, so aren't I helping you?" Arthur fought the urge to hit Merlin.
"No."
"Sire?" Arthur jumped violently, and spun to face Percival.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Percival looked sheepish. Merlin elbowed him.
"Aren't you supposed to be alert?" Arthur shot him a glare.
"Aren't you supposed to not speak when I'm conducting important business?" Percival coughed. Arthur returned his attention to the knight. "Yes, Percival?"
"I have a report." Percival held it out. Arthur sighed and opened the parchment, anticipating something along the lines of a border rebellion. With the day he'd been having, that would be on course.
"You managed to repair the entire back wall and chop us a new pile of firewood?" Arthur gaped at Percival. The knight smiled.
"I read it on the list of things to be done." Percial's brow wrinkled. "You are pleased?"
"Gods yes, this will shut Fenron up for the next week!" Arthur grinned at Percival, and remembered that he had phenomenal knights. "Thank you."
"I had some spare time." Arthur shook his head in awe.
"You are an exceptional knight, Percival." Percival smiled. Merlin grinned at them both. Arthur handed the scroll to Merlin. "Take this to Fenron, will you?"
"Why do I have to do it? He wants to kill me!"
"I will take the paper to Fenron." said Percival solemnly. "He cannot kill me."
"Thanks." Merlin grinned blindingly at Percival. "You're a lifesaver."
"Yes, because Merlin is too much of a wimp to face down a sixty year old advisor. And Percival, I won't forget your help." Percival smiled and bowed, which put him about level with Merlin's head.
"Oh hey, we reached your rooms." Arthur went stark white as Merlin pushed open the doors. Maybe he should have delivered that paper himself. "What did you do?"
"Nothing. You shouldn't have taken half the day off." Merlin's expression was worth the cold food Arthur would be getting that week. The prince flopped onto his bed, grinning. "Best get cleaning."
"It's Morgana. I think she's in trouble." Merlin said to Gaius, in a murmur. Even in their own chambers, they spoke quietly when Morgana's name came up.
"What?"
"I had…a sort of vision." Merlin described it to Gaius. "I don't know if the magic I used hurt her."
"Merlin, you cannot go about risking things for Morgana, of all people!" Gaius hissed. Merlin's ears pricked up.
"So you do know a way, it's just risky?" Gaius frowned. Merlin leaned forward. "Gaius, Morgana was a friend to me before she tried to destroy Camelot, and she may be hurt. I only want to check on her."
"You could try scrying." Gaius said reluctantly.
"What's that?" Gaius sighed and picked up the water bucket. He poured it's contents into a clean bowl. Merlin peered into the water. "Is it a spell?"
"I never got it myself. You're supposed to be able to look into the water and find someone, but it was beyond my level." Gaius sighed. "I don't even know if there's an incantation."
"You just look at the water?" Merlin doubtfully stared at the bowl. All he could see was the bottom. Gaius shrugged.
"Perhaps it's better if it doesn't work. The only one I knew who had any skill at it was Nimueh." Merlin narrowed his eyes, and they turned gold.
"Then I can do it." He stared at the water, visualizing Morgana. Merlin put one finger in the water and stirred it, pushing magic and will at the bowl. The surface rippled. Merlin infused the water with more magic, thinking to it.
Morgana. Show me Morgana Pendragon. The water smoothed to a clear sheet. Merlin's mouth twitched up. Then down.
There was Morgana, alright. She was lying unconscious on the forest floor, and her lips were blue. Merlin realized that if she'd been there since morning and it was night now, she would be near to freezing. And Morgana was no dragon lord.
"Warmth." He muttered at the water, and touched another fingertip to it. Color sprung up in Morgana's cheeks, and her lashes fluttered. Merlin smiled slightly. "Protection."
A sudden pain rushed through him. Merlin thrust magic back at it, blowing someone else backwards as he was shoved back. The bowl shattered, and with it the link to whoever had been causing the pain.
"Merlin!" Gaius crouched next to him. "Did Morgana do that?"
Merlin shook his head. The pain was already receding, but it didn't make him any less shocked.
"No. That was someone else entirely." The same person who had been trying to enter his mind earlier, he guessed. Merlin shivered. That amount of power was…disconcerting, to say the least.
In the forests of the north, Morgana woke with a start.
She wasn't dead. Or cold. Morgana raised a shaking hand to her face, and realized that she was free even of frostbite. How?
"Dear child, are you well?" Morgana shrieked and scrambled back. She was standing before her, rising from the pool. That woman. That awful woman.
There was a growl. Morgana turned her head to see several wolves surrounding her. One bared it's teeth at the woman and snarled. She looked at it coldly, but stepped back.
"Why child, you ran into some protection before I could stop him." The woman's gaze was scornful. "What a pity. Perhaps the plans will have to proceed without you…ah well. The Pendragons will fall either way. I will wait. And you, child, can count yourself lucky to have the warlock looking for you."
The woman melted back into the pool. The largest wolf padded up to her and sat in front of the pool, eyes trained on it. Morgana pushed herself to her feet. She could not stay in this forest, though she knew not where to go.
Two wolves fell into step with her as she walked. Morgana glanced down at them, and wondered.
A/N: How is this so long? I don't understand. But I was watching season 1 recently, and remembered how much I adored Gwen when she wasn't with Arthur, and Morgana when she wasn't suddenly evil without character development at all! I blame Morgause. Who is now dead. Or possibly not, according to spoilers, but whatevs. For my purposes, she is dead.
So yeah, I made Merlin and Gwen friends again. And Morgana is getting her comeuppance for being evil, and Merlin is, as always, appallingly nice.
And I think it's in Merlin's character to be nice. He just doesn't hold grudges. And let's be honest-when Merlin starts holding grudges, things start getting very, very, black. He's got a legit reason to hate a bunch of people, and I am very sure that if Merlin actually wanted to, he'd take down Camelot in less than 48 hours.