Terror on Gay Street: Halloween Nightmare
Chapter Five: Satanic Holiday
Disclaimer: I do not own Metal Gear or Twilight. To clarify, Jasper is a mix between a Twilight vampire and my own species design. He burns in sun, not sparkles. His skin is like solid stone. Piercing his heart will kill him but first you have to get through his nearly indestructible skin. He has a second row of sharp teeth behind his human ones that are retractable and most important of all his hands are permanently large, menacing claws.
On with the show ;)
One year ago, Ocelot's death, Hell
Ocelot screamed as he fell naked through a giant hole in the earth's crust. Head over heels he tumbled, falling utterly naked. For it is true; we take nothing with us into this world and we take nothing out of it.
The farther he fell, the more that he could feel the temperature rise. As he plummeted ever further and faster into the center of the earth and into Hades Kingdom, Ocelot futilely clawed at the air in search of a handhold that wasn't there.
As the nude old man plunged, he could feel his eyes water from the force with which he cut through the air and the powerful stench of the sulfur fumes wafting up from the bottom of the pit.
Ocelot was falling at terminal velocity now. The wind was forcing his eyelids and lips back like a cluster of painful, invisible hands. The former spy's long hair and moustache fluttered in the wind like the tail of a comet.
Below him, Ocelot would see the molten lava boiling and writhing with heat greater than a crucible. Even hundreds of feet above the molten rock, Ocelot felt hot enough that his skin and hair were about to catch fire.
As Ocelot plunged like a meteorite into the furnace of hell he began to feel his skin peel and burn like a chicken in the oven. His white hair caught flame and burned. The late spy howled in pain as the fire consumed his hair and skin.
The old man's faded skin grew brown, and then black then split while his bodily fats caught fire. The fire spread, totally erasing the man's unique facial features and transforming them into a grotesque funeral death mask.
As he burned and writhed, gravity took him closer and closer to hell's radioactive furnace. A single question bounced around in the back of his mind like a lost moth banging around inside an empty jar. Why was he the only one in hell? Where were the other damned souls?
Indeed, where were the damned? There was nothing here but Ocelot, the stone walls and the molten rock below that ran like water. Radiation penetrated deep into Ocelot's bones and compounded the torment he felt further.
Just as Ocelot was about to hit the magma below, something stopped him. He yelped pathetically as something dug into his flesh like a safety harness made of barbed wire.
Suddenly the heat wasn't so great and his skin and hair were back to normal; though he was still naked.
Looking around, Ocelot screamed in terror as he saw his body was being suspended over the lava by an array of skeleton hands coming out of the molten rock and walls. In vain he struggled but the hands of hell were just too strong for him.
Adding insult to eternal damnation, one of the Skeleton hands reached out and jammed a bony digit into Ocelot's left nostril. The old man yelped and hollered and squawked and shook his head, trying to get the fucking skeleton finger out of his mother fucking nose.
The hand pulled away, only for another hand to reach out and start yanking on his pubic hair. The old man's eye bulged and he kicked his legs trying to break free. The skeletal hand let go of Revolver Ocelot's stark white pubic hair—
Just as another pair of hands began to yank at the tips of his moustache. Screaming and cursing in his native language, Ocelot frantically threw his head from side to side to save his sexy moustache.
The hands let go and then Ocelot saw the worst of all.
"Oh shit!"
Before he knew it, a skeletal hand clobbered him over the head with a can of tomatoes hard enough to put a dent in the can.
Ocelot's eyes rolled in his skull while flying mini-satans danced around his head like in a cartoon.
Was this what hell was like? Being stuck in a Tex Avery cartoon for all eternity with no way relief in death or escape?
Two days before Halloween
They say that a near death experience makes a man appreciate what he has; the same goes double and quadruple for returning from Hell. Ocelot had spent two years being tormented in the fiery pits of hell
Now he was back and ready for revenge. And like everything else he did, Ocelot wouldn't be happy unless he made it needlessly flashy and overly complex. As he scoped out Edward's house with a pair of binoculars, Ocelot's plan was to sneak in and hide until the right time.
Zombie Ocelot put down his binoculars and put them back into his duster. Upon returning from hell he'd gained much knowledge in physics and black magic which few mortal men knew. He also knew ahead of time that on Halloween morning before dawn dear vampire Jasper would show up.
Ocelot grinned at the prospect of revenge. His enemies would suffer as he had suffered.
The Russian zombie dropped the shoulder bag he was carrying with him and began to shuffle through it. He was going through it to check that all his equipment was in order. Let's see: he still had a grappling hook and line, rusty knife, car battery and wire, corkscrew, brass knuckles, spare ammo and most important of all some brains in a jar left over from the girl he killed and partially ate.
Ocelot was ready to rock and roll. Taking his grappling hook and hefting on his shoulder bag, he sprinted towards the back yard.
Inside, the music was blasting and Ocelot wanted to fucking kill everyone inside for their abominable taste in music.
Not wasting a moment, Ocelot pulled the grappling hook out of his bag and started to spin it around.
Tossing the hook high, Zombie Ocelot was pleased when it caught onto something. The zombie pulled, feeling that the hook was firmly grasping on something. So he started to really put his weight on it.
Unfortunately all he did was rip the eaves troughs off the side of the house. Ocelot fell backwards as the eaves clattered to the ground. He covered his head to protect from a falling downspout.
Cursing under his breath, Ocelot was pleased that the music was loud enough that it would drown out the sound of a hundred train horns.
With practiced ease, Ocelot swung the grapple line and finally caught something substantial. Grinning, the fresh zombie began to climb up the rope with the ease of an acrobat in his prime.
However Ocelot didn't get half way up the rope before a pair of panties flew out a window and landed on his face. This caused the zombie to halt his ascent. A noise of irritation and outrage come from his mouth as he reached up and threw the pink panties to the side. Gripping the rope with fury, Ocelot renewed his climb—
-only for a second pair of underwear to fly out a window and hit him in the face.
Hissing through his yellow, chipped teeth, Ocelot grabbed the underwear and threw it away. He didn't see the brand name of the underwear but he knew from the brief glance he'd taken that this was a pair of men's undies.
Ocelot supressed a yell as he grabbed the undies off his face and threw them into the night. Relentlessly he climbed up that house. He climbed and climbed all the way up to the second story even though the back door was open and he could have taken the stairs. But Ocelot was not a man who used stairs. Stairs were for douches.
At last, Ocelot reached the window and there he saw Edward, engaging in all manner of sexual debauchery.
The zombie spy's lips curled in a sneer. Just look at that little piggy, rutting like an animal in heat; the quintessential capitalist dog cunt sore. As Edward moaned and writhed sinuously in time with his two sexual partners, Ocelot growled openly. From behind his teeth, black ooze started to secrete instead of clear saliva.
Ocelot's vision turned red and the black ooze started to overflow his mouth and slowly dribble down his chin, leaving an oil film as it did.
He put one claw like dead hand on the window sill to pull himself inside. For a moment, he was prepared to throw aside all his elaborate plans and schemes and just rip out that little fag's throat.
Ocelot barely even noticed the black ooze that was a by-product of his hunger for brains. He could smell the brains, his hunger was roaring. The need was present even though his binge on Bree Tanner's grey matter had assuaged it temporarily.
It wasn't just Edward's brains he wanted, it was all their brains. Every last one; man or woman made no difference as long as he could get to maybe that six or eight pounds hidden inside their skulls.
His rational mind buried under the hunger, Ocelot was ready to submit.
Then he got hit in the face with a used condom.
It took Ocelot exactly one third of a second to realize just what it was that hit him in the face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
No one could hear him scream over the music and the sound of fucking. His hands flew up to tear the cum filled condom off, which in turn caused him to fall backwards and land hard in the flowerbed.
His old, smelly, decayed body landed in the flowerbed and kicked up a cloud of dust.
Still screaming, Zombie Ocelot jumped up and swatted the contraceptive off his face, spinning around like he was being attacked by a swarm of bees.
Moaning pitifully and praying to god, Ocelot ran over to the garden hose and frantically turned the faucet, only for it to fall off. So there would be no water to wash his face with.
Ocelot screamed and began to roll on the ground like he was on fire. His long hair and coat soaked up the dew and he rolled to and fro like a log, eventually rubbing his face on the grass like an animal.
Swiftly, he stood up and began to brush the grass off his shirt and out of his hair. He was feeling infected and so far revenge wasn't going as planned.
The evil zombie man breathed heavily as he tried to put that horrible trauma aside.
As he looked down, he saw that the condom was now stuck to the tip of his boot. Clenching his hands, Ocelot was this far away from throwing a temper tantrum. As he kicked the wet condom off his foot, a beer can from the window hit him on the head.
That was the last straw.
Ocelot raised his hands and screamed in anger instead of disgust. Sprinting like a champion, he ran across the backyard towards the trampoline.
Swift as the wind, Ocelot ran and jumped onto the trampoline. Sailing in a graceful arc, Ocelot flew through the air and went face first through a window pane on the second floor. Glass shattered and flew everywhere as Ocelot's face broke a very expensive heat saving window.
Halloween Night, today
"And so," Ocelot explained to the helpless Jasper and Edward, "I have returned from hell to the land of the living so that I may do Satan's bidding."
The human and vampire could only stare in shock at the undead ghoul before them.
It was then that Ocelot looked directly at a figure that only he could see and hear, nobody else.
"You're the best, Ocelot," Said the devil.
Ocelot nearly blushed, "Awe," he said bashfully, "thank you Satan."
The zombie turned away from Satan, the praise still fresh in his mind. "Now," he said in a low and slightly seductive voice, "Who am I going to kill first?"
I hope you enjoyed that :D This was a lighter chapter, hopefully giving people some breathing room from my darker earlier chapters.
Thanks to all and a merry Christmas and Happy Halloween
Special mention goes out to Blacksand1, my dear friend and especially to everyone who reads and reviews. Reviews are love and I'd like to thank BaxxRatty, who is collaborating on a Batman/Hellsing crossover with me.
TA,
I'm the Master of the Boot