Doing research for this chapter, led me down the metaphorical rabbit hole known as YouTube. I started out wanting to remember lines from "The Nightmare Begins" and was suddenly watching clips of Colin Morgan and Bradley James with any of their shenanigans. So damn adorable (and Colin Morgan's actual accent-HOT).

Also when I began this chapter, I had actually started to write another melancholic and pitiful author's note about how the BBC won't release Series 3 until January, blah, blah, blah, more sadness for myself. Then, my fiancée brought his Xbox over with his streaming Netflix subscription and behold-SERIES 3 IS UP! Insanity! Madness! Absolute euphoria! My mouth was literally agape for 2 minutes. I would've screamed my usual high-pitched schoolgirlish squeal but it was 2am. A whole 2 months earlier than I thought! So you can imagine over the next couple of days I'll be busy catching up.

Anyways, enjoy this chapter! Upped the rating just in case. Long chapter! Don't worry, it'll get much more salacious soon.

Chapter 4

She walked onto the practice field feeling both anxious and excited.

While the whole "James" thing still felt pretty new (she continued to think everyone's eyes were on her), she would finally be back in her element. And to be honest, she was rather excited to spar with Merlin.

And maybe, a little bit excited to see him. Their moment in the hallway had awakened something in her. It had changed…something between them.

It wasn't as if she was ignorant of Merlin's appeal. The dark blue eyes, the shaggy hair, the high cheekbones-she had certainly noticed, as had most of the women in Camelot.

But it was something more. Since the moment he had arrived in Camelot, she felt connected to him. Like they were kindred. Two parts of the same..something.

And yet, she tried to stay away. She told herself it was because she was a lady and he was a servant, but it was more than that. The connection between them teemed with energy. It was powerful and strong. Yet she kept him at bay because she felt exposed and vulnerable in ways she never thought she could.

He might've started off as a wide-eyed country boy, but she always felt as if he saw too much. Like he knew all of her secrets, all of her deepest and darkest fantasies. Her hatred of Uther. Her anger at the unfairness of magic's ban.

And now he even knew about her magic.

She might've gone to the Physican's chambers to see Gauis but she had needed Merlin. She'd been frightened. Terrified of herself and what she was capable of doing. And she had needed his confirmation. She had needed his support…she had needed him to admit that she wasn't crazy or dangerous but that she shouldn't be afraid of what was happening to her…

And she had received nothing, at least nothing from him. Sure, he had sent her to the Druids who were far more knowledgeable about it.

But she had needed….something more from him. Always something. It was always nameless, for she didn't know what it could possibly be. But it was more than what she received now.

She trusted him. She believed he would never reveal her secret to anyone. But it wasn't enough. There was some inequality between them. He knew her secrets but she knew none of his.

And he had secrets, of that she was sure. His words in tent at the Druid campsite said as much-"Better than anyone." He felt alone, too.

Her magic was the reason she fought so hard to engage in sword lay. It was the only thing that helped distract her from the clawing fear inside was sword play. Physical activity gave her purpose, it gave her focus. And it was a welcome distraction from the constant paranoia of discovery. She could trust Merlin, of that she was sure, but at any moment a vase could break or her eyes could glow gold or a fire could flare, or and or and or. She grew insane thinking about it; knowing that at any moment, her entire world could come crashing down. Uther was a villain and his tactics were cruel. She wouldn't receive mercy from him.

And sword play exhausted her. Every swing of the blade kept the nightmares away. Exhaustion and exertion calmed her sleep. The visions, the nightmares, the images of what had passed or what was to come to pass, it all calmed with hard work. It was why she pushed herself so far and it was why she was on the practice field now.

She would dress as a man every day of her life if it kept the demons at bay. She would risk Uther's wrath if it kept one night's dreams quiet. With determined purpose, she walked towards the scruffy haired man.

He was seated on a bench by the sideboard, polishing a sword. Likely an action he had to do numerous times as Arthur's manservant.

"Merlin," said James nonchalantly as way of greeting.

He raised his dark head and smiled, "James. Good to see you. Let me finish polishing Arthur's sword here and then we'll be ready. He might be stuck inside for the next week but that doesn't make him any less of a prat about this bloody thing."

Merlin went back to his task, his hand clutching a rock as he started long strokes down the blade. There was such intense focus on his movements. She couldn't help but notice how nimble his fingers were. He shifted the sword's position, gentle as he turned it over and began to stroke up and down.

It was hypnotic. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his hard hands stroking the blade. It reminded her of how warm and caressing his hands had been on her body in the hallway. The soft pressure, the heat of it through her gown- she shivered with the visceral memories. And with other thoughts. Thoughts of how those hands would feel on her bare shoulders, her ankles, her breasts…

"I'll just grab a sword and stretch out," she managed to say. She didn't have to fake the huskiness of her voice.

Merlin smiled and nodded as he continued his strangely erotic actions. What was wrong with her? Who knew that polishing a sword could be so sensual?

Trying to be calm despite her unsettling thoughts, she grabbed the nearest sword and walked to an open area of the field. All around her there were knights with various weapons engaged in mock battle.

Gripping the blunt practice blade in her hand and feeling the soft leather against her palm, she experienced the elusive sense of calm missing from the past few days. She felt controlled. Not chaotic. Not explosive. The sword made her feel decisive. Powerful, not powerless.

Angling her body, with one foot lunged behind the other, she stabbed the sword into the air. Turning quickly, she arched the sword high. After a few more swipes and slashes, Merlin was there.

"Not bad. Let's see how you do with a partner," he said.

She smirked at his comments, 'Not bad'? I can do quite a bit with a partner. Getting into position, James said, "Sure."

James attacked first, aiming for Merlin's shoulder. He parried and moved back, clearly caught off guard by the young man's skill. James swung again, this time trying to bring the blade lower. Metal slid against metal as their swords clashed again and Merlin was forced to retreat again. Another thrust and he parried again.

After a few more attacks, Merlin didn't hold back. He thrust back, slashing his sword and It was exhilarating. While Morgana had fought Arthur before, he was also so gentle. He treated her with respect and dignity as a woman. And in this circumstance, it was maddening. Every other knight she fought did the same. No one wanted to push her too hard, fearing that they might injure or offend her (or the King).

But Merlin thought she was a man. Or a young man at least, and he didn't show her courtly deference. He fought her like a man. It was challenging. Difficult. And she loved every minute of it. Sweat gathered at her brow, her muscles stung with the exertion; it was wonderful.

Their swords criss-crossed as they both pushed forward, their faces coming closer, "You're very good at this," Merlin managed to get out through gritted teeth. James quickly lowered his sword and spun to block Merlin's next attack, "Thanks, I've practiced quite a bit on my own. But it's nice to have a partner."

Merlin hopped back as James side slashed the air a foot away from Merlin's stomach, "I mean it, you're really good. Graceful and aggressive. I've seen many knights fight and you have a certain…instinct. It'll suit you well on the battlefield."

"Thanks," James replied, pinkening a little at the compliment. She knew that she had some talent with the blade, but it was rather nice to hear Merlin say something so flattering. Knightly instinct? Arthur had never said as such.

"How did you get into sword fighting?" James asked, genuinely interested.

"As Arthur's manservant, it's part of my job description to keep his royal arse alive," he replied between breathes as he swung the sword low.

She couldn't help but smile at his tone, "I'd imagine that's not an easy task."

"You have no idea. And actually, Arthur doesn't either," he said smirking. "I first learned to fight in Ealdor, my village. My best friend Will and I would sharpen sticks and pretend we were knights of Camelot."

"That sounds like fun," James replied as they circled each other waiting to strike.

"It was. At least it was until I nearly poked Will's eye out. After that my mom forbade us to fight. We did anyway but not as much. My mom has the eye of a hawk, she can detect the faintest hint of lie."

Remembering Merlin's sweet mother, Hunith she said, "I'd imagine that would make it difficult." Swinging in a circle, she brought the sword down

"Yeah, well, I left for Camelot a few years later and I was trained up a bit by Arthur. But mostly, I work on my own. Arthur's not the most constructive of coaches."

"So I hear," James said.

They continued another fifteen minutes in silence, the only sounds the clash of metal and the panting of breath.

Merlin stopped and wiped his sweaty forehead against his arm, "Let's take a break. We both need some water."

She nodded mutely and they walked to the sideboard. Merlin pulled out a rather large pouch of water and took a long swig. As he finished, a few drops of water clung to his upper lip. She found herself transfixed by the droplets and when his tongue flicked out to catch them, heat coursed through her body. While it had been an innocuous action, it was terribly erotic. What was the matter with her?

"Here," said Merlin, handing her the pouch. She hesitated for a moment too long and he frowned. "I don't have the plague or anything. You must be parched."

"Sorry," she said hurriedly taking the pouch from his hand. Raising it to her lips, she could feel the lingering heat from his lips on the rounded edge. It was too intimate. Her lips tingled at the contact, it was almost like…kissing him. She thought she tasted a hint of something sensual and masculine. Maybe even cinnamon…

Her cheeks flushed and she finished the pouch, suddenly rather hot. It was the sun. And the activity. Yes, it was that. Not the near kiss from Merlin's water pouch.

"Thanks, Merlin. Sorry I finished it," James said with a smile, trying to ease awkward tension.

Apparently it worked, because Merlin smiled and said, "No worries. Let's get to it, shall we?"

James nodded, grabbing the blunt sword again. They fought for the rest of the afternoon. Merlin was a rather adept partner. He challenged her, several times knocking the sword from her hand. She returned the favor but it was the most grueling and demanding afternoon she'd spent in a long while. They had talked sporadically throughout the afternoon. Mostly about Merlin and his duties at the castle. She tried to avoid conversation about James, but answered the few questions Merlin asked politely. Yes, James did come from a small town. No, it wasn't peculiar to have a twin. Yes, Camelot was rather nice this time of year. Only when the sun started to sink a little, did Morgan realize that she had to get back to Gwen and back to the castle.

Panting, she put down the sword and said, "I better get back to my…er..sister. Thanks, we do this again tomorrow?"

The question hung in the air for a moment as Merlin gave a searching glance over James' face. Before she could squirm under his quizzical gaze, he smiled quickly and answered, "Yeah, sure. Tomorrow. Same time."

"See you then!" she said loudly, walking quickly to Gwen's house.

Her tunic stuck to her back. She smelled like a pig sty. She was in desperate need of a bath.

As she entered Gwen's cottage to change into her gown, she asked, "How was it?"

"As our good friend James would say, bloody amazing."

"Your sword, sire…." Merlin said and then mumbled, "Although I hardly think you'll need it this week."

The two men were alone in Arthur's chambers after dinner.

"What was that, Merlin?" said Arthur, a note of suspicion in his voice.

" I said, is there anything else?" Merlin said, eager to return to the rest and relaxation this week afforded him.

"Merlin, I need you to do something for me."

"What type of something?

"Merlin, I realize that you come from some small country town, but surely, you were taught that, when a master asks his servant to do something, he just does it. And he usually responds for good measure with an 'Anything, sire'"

"True. We were taught that."

"And?"

"And I think only a boot licking kiss-ass would say or do as such."

"Merlin!"

"Alright, what is it?"

"Do you a James? He's a squire to Sir Kaye."

"Yes, I know him. We met the other day, I'm teaching him how to sword fight."

"You? Teach someone the sword? That's rich."

"I'm better than I look," Merlin said mulishly.

"You're clumsy and uncoordinated but sure, sure you are. What else do you know about this James?"

"Ummm…let's see. He's from a small town. He seems rather young. And he has a twin sister. And when I first saw him there was something…off about him."

"Off, how?"

"Look, don't laugh, but James is rather…

"Rather what?" asked Arthur.

"Pretty, alright? Like girl pretty. I'm sure it's just because he's young and he has a twin sister who he thinks I might've seen around which does make sense but it's weird. He walks and talks like a man, but his face…"

"It's pretty?" Arthur said, trying not to laugh at friend's clear confusion.

"Look, laugh all you want, but it's true," Merlin said. Then nodding in Arthur's direction he said, "Besides it's not as if he's the only one with feminine features."

"You can't be referring to me. Feminine features? Please, this face is all masculinity," said Arthur, glancing quickly in the mirror on the wardrobe door.

"Yeah, well, people think your lips are rather feminine," said Merlin.

"Well, people say the same thing about your cheekbones." With a dramatic sigh Arthur said, "Look, I need you to…find out all you can about James."

"Why?" said Merlin. Suddenly teasing, "Are you interested in him? I didn't know that was your thing. You haven't spoken about Gwen in a while…and I mean, people often assume we have a very close relationship. I always tell them we just get on, like brothers or something, but if skinny squires are your thing…"

"Ugh, you'd think with such abnormally large ears you would be able to listen for one bloody minute, Merlin. I saw James with Gwen, alight? And what do you mean people talk about our very close relationship?"

Ignoring the last question, Merlin said, "Oh, I see. So you're jealous. Again."

"I'm not jealous. Nor have I been before. I'm just concerned. I consider Gwen a friend and I don't like the look of this fellow."

"So you saw them together?"

"Yes."

"So you were spying?"said Merlin.

"Yes."

"I hope I'm not the type of friend that you go spying on."

"Well, next time you're hugging a strange man a little too long, I might make an exception," said Arthur.

"You saw them hugging?"

"Yes and it was a lingering hug. Like longer than ten seconds. And Gwen seemed…rather happy to be in his presence and rather guilty to be caught," said Arthur.

"So you think that there's something romantic going on there?"

"Maybe. Like I said, I was concerned for her. She's a young unmarried woman, I don't want anyone taking advantage of her kind disposition."

"Except for you."

"I'm just concerned for Gwen! Look, will you do it or not?" said Arthur clearly frustrated with his servant's knowing look.

"Of course I'll do it. As my master and the future King, I can deny you nothing." Merlin said with mock humility.

"I suppose that will have to do," said Arthur. Turning quickly and putting his finger in Merlin's face, "Oh and Merlin, I realize that stealth isn't exactly your thing, but do be cautious. I don't want Gwen or this James to know about my…er.. interest. And if you repeat any of this to another living soul, I'll make your life rather difficult"

"Don't worry, Arthur. I'm quite good at keeping secrets."

Arthur snorted.

FINIS

I'm to episode 4 of Series 3!

Holy hot angry eye sex (among other things)

between Mergana!

I'm rather proud of the Arthur/Merlin dialogue here.

Please review! I love reviews! They make me smile.