"Well, Colin old boy, today is the day that you become a man." George clapped the small boy on his back, nearly sending him onto the floor.

"George! Don't traumatize the poor boy." Ginny scolded him. "We need him."

"So, what am I taking pictures of again?" Colin Creevey asked nervously, fiddling with his camera.

"Girls. Sexy girls, too. Looking good, Lavender," George explained, calling out to Lavender across the room, who was wearing a robe. She shot him a smoldering glance.

"Shall we get at it, then?" Professor McGonagall asked, striding into the room and effectively stopping all teasing and flirting.

"Wait," Colin said, his eyes the size of galleons. "I'm shooting a nude calendar!"

"No, not nude…" Katie Bell said slowly. "Just… mostly nude."

Colin stared at the eleven girls around him, then his eyes found McGonagall. He gulped nervously and started to open his mouth, then sat down.

"Nope. Not doing it. Never. Nope. Nuh-uh." He clamped his eyes shut, as if McGonagall would start stripping then and there.

"I am merely here to make sure everything stays… legal." McGonagall explained. "I will not be participating."

"Oh." Colin's eyes popped back open, and he surveyed the rest of the females. "Well then, I suppose that's okay." Luna smiled at him encouragingly.

"Who's first then?"

"I am!" Cho said eagerly.

"Go change, then." Ginny instructed. "Now, we need a New Year's party. We need a champagne bottle, glitter, streamers, and…"

"The New York Ball. Maybe you can see it out of the window?" Hermione said, considering.

"Well, I was thinking…" Cho said slowly, her head popping out of the changing room, which was really just a huge closet the Room had provided. It had everything from a Victorian dress to some sort of lacy something that had yet to be identified. McGonagall wasn't allowing anyone to even touch it, much less put it on.

"Yes?" Hermione prompted.

"I was thinking of maybe doing the Chinese New Year? There could be the dragon in a loop around me, and I could be wearing a red dress, and a fan to hide my smile." Cho admitted.

"Cho, that sounds amazing!" Lavender and Parvati gushed. In what seemed to be seconds to the rest of the room, Cho was dressed in a slinky red dress and was surrounded by a large heap of paper-mâche.

Ginny poked it with her foot warily.

"Is that supposed to look like that?" Padma came over to investigate it. Hermione shook her head and pointed her wand at the heap. It flew up and formed a Chinese dragon.

"That isn't anything like the Chinese Fireball." Ginny said, squinting at the red paper.

"Of course it doesn't." Hermione sighed again. "Muggles made the original ones."

"Actually, a wizard made it, to scare away the Zingers invading his home." Luna said, speaking for the first time. An uneasy silence filled the room.

"Well, then, Cho, why don't you start posing. Colin, get on it." Hermione said bossily. When she wasn't looking, Astoria rolled her eyes theatrically, causing giggles from the other girls. Cho struck a pose, and Colin raised his camera.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Ginny and, surprisingly, Pansy yelled.

"What?" Cho dropped her arm.

"You look like you're bored to death. It's so obvious you're faking." Pansy said.

"I want you to laugh, woman! This is New Years- you are drunk off your ass, you have no clue where you are, and you are loving that guy across the room!" Ginny exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "Erm, not that I'm encouraging drinking, of course." Ginny glanced sheepishly at Professor McGonagall, who inclined her head, obviously not believing her.

"All right." Cho said, thinking hard. Suddenly she started to laugh, mirth crinkling up the corners of her eyes as she hid her face with a fan.

"Colin, go." Ginny instructed, and the boy bean clicking away, puffs of smoke coming out of the camera with each click.

Next up was Parvati. Hermione had to admit that she was rather curious about this one. The sheet clutched in her hand said 'Parvati Patil- February- Candy'. Hermione was also rather wary, a reaction only heightened when Parvati came out in a candy-themed… erm, outfit. She wasn't sure if one could call the bits of whatever material it was an actual outfit, but it did seem to match the candy theme. And the heaping pile of candy on the set. To make it short, Parvati's breasts were covered by large, fake cupcakes, and her… lower area looked a bit like a pie.

"A very slim piece of pie," Hermione thought wryly, tilting her head a bit as Parvati sank into the pile. Colin raised his camera, but Parvati frowned for a second. Everyone stared. Then a small jar of chocolate sauce appeared, and Katie grinned.

"Brilliant!" George whispered. Even shy Colin nodded as Parvati dipped a finger into the jar and let it drizzle across her chest. She looked at what was left on her finger and put the finger in her mouth, slowly sucking the chocolate off, her eyes closing appreciation of the taste.

"Hey, idiot, take some pictures before the chocolate's all gone!" George hissed furiously, nudging the small boy next to him. Colin quickly began snapping away again.

"Should I pose now?" Parvati asked a bit later.

"No, that film was fine." Colin said, his voice a little higher than normal.

"All right, Hannah, time to show Neville what he's missing out on," Padma said loudly as the girls giggled. Hannah Abbott poked her head out of the dressing room, her face a fiery red.

"I don't know…" She said miserably.

"Oh, come on, Hannah, you look great." Ginny marched forward and pulled the Hufflepuff from the changing room. There were gasps throughout the room, then the younger girls were around her.

"Oh, my God!" Cho squealed.

"That looks so good!" Panda said, her fingers smoothing a bit of fabric.

"You have boobs," Ginny said, her eyes wide.

"All right, all right, ladies, we haven't got all day," George said loudly. Hannah slowly emerged from the cluster, a pretty blush on her face.

"Keep that blush," Colin instructed. "And hold these at slightly below… um, your… uh, chest area." He was blushing now, too, as he handed Hannah two butterbeer bottles. She was forced to drop her skirt from her sweaty hands to hold them, and the full effect of her outfit took place. She was wearing a simple linen, off white underdress, which went down to her elbows and ankles. It wasn't the dress, though, it was what was on top of it that made her eye-catching. Sure, it looked like an innocent bit of leather. But on her… well, Hermione was sure that if Hannah took a deep breath- not that she could, what with how tight it was- something disastrous would happen. Maybe that was why they made corsets so tight, so that wouldn't happen, she reflected as Hannah got photographed.

She glanced down at the list, and her brains came to a screeching halt.

"Guys!" she cried out as Hannah was stepping out of the fake Leaky Cauldron.

"What?" Pansy asked. "Have you forgotten a book?"

"Ha ha. But no. We don't have anyone for April," Hermione effectively silenced the room.

"We could move everyone up a month," Padma suggested.

"What about December, then?"

"Big Christmas party, duh."

"But I have to be July!" Ginny protested.

"Girls." McGonagall said.

"Well, I have to be December!"

"Girls!"

"And I was really looking forward to being August."

"Girls!"

"And Hermione can't be anything other than September!"

"Ladies, would you please shut up!" McGonagall finally yelled.

"What?" As one, they turned to her.

"Well, you girls clearly have forgotten what you need in a calendar like this one," McGonagall said.

"Which is?" Ginny asked after a moment of silence.

"A cougar. For the boys who prefers older woman."

There was another pause.

"And seeing as I am an Animagus into a cat, you're going to need my help in this ruddy calendar thing." McGonagall winced.

"Wait, let me get this right." Astoria stepped forward. "You're agreeing to be in this calendar as a cougar, and we get to pick the outfit?"

"Well, yes. But the outfit had better not be anything too revealing. I refuse to wear candy on my… well." McGonagall scowled at a crest-fallen Parvati. "I am still a teacher, remember."

The majority of the girls immediately rushed off to the dressing room to find the perfect apparel. Only Hermione stayed behind.

"Thanks, Professor." She said happily. "You know, I really am starting to warm to this idea." With that, she drifted off to join the other girls.

McGonagall winced as she heard Hermione shriek out, "Professor McGonagall is NOT wearing flowers!" a few seconds later.

"No, that's getting vetoed right now." Ginny said.

"How about this?" That was Padma… or maybe Parvati?

"No." Definitely Hermione.

"Yes." Maybe Astoria? McGonagall was intrigued.

"I'll second that," said Lavender. Nevermind, she didn't want to know.

"She'll never wear it." Ginny said warningly.

"Vote on it." Said Luna. When did she get there?

"Yeses." There was silence. "No's." A pause. "Okay, that's that, then."

"Professor, could you come in here?" Ginny called. With a sigh, McGonagall walked into the room.

"So, where is it?" She asked wearily.

They all stepped aside to reveal a… a…

"What is it?"

"It's a cat suit." Lavender said cheerily.

"What." It wasn't even a question.

"It's a cat suit."

"I heard you the first time." McGonagall practically growled.

"It's a full body suit made out of latex… and velvet boots." Ginny said, and uneasy smile on her face. McGonagall studied it a bit more.

"Where are the sleeves?" She finally asked.

"Well, it's a halter top." Astoria explained. "You slip the loop around your neck."

"I'll try it on." McGonagall finally said.

Ten minutes later, the girls were trying to drag McGonagall out of the dressing room, while George and Colin watched in apprehension and amusement.

"Really, girls, this is ridiculous..." McGonagall said. One arm slipped out into the Room, then quickly got retracted.

"Is her arm… bare?" George whispered. Colin nodded. He looked a little green.

"Professor, you look so good!" Ginny coaxed, sounding a little out of breath. McGonagall looked small and brittle, but darn she was strong.

"Besides, I'm sure Dumbledore would approve." Luna's statement made the professor nearly topple over in shock, which allowed the girls to shove her into the room. Colin gave a small yell and turned away.

"Well, Professor, it's certainly a new look." George said. He had no idea his teacher could look so… hot.

"We need to do one thing." Katie said, and without a moment's hesitation, marched over to McGonagall and took all of her hairpins out, letting her hair cascade over her shoulders, back and bum.

"That's some impressive hair." Hannah said, fingering her own shoulder-length locks.

"Yes, well." McGonagall glared at them all one time, then morphed seamlessly into a cat. A scratching post appeared, and she jumped up onto it. The look she gave Colin said that he'd better get ready, and he complied (mostly against his own wishes). She stretched luxuriously, then leaped off, transforming back into a woman half-way through the leap. She stumbled slightly in the stilettos on the landing, but over all… well, Hermione had to whistle slowly as McGonagall finished the production with a cat like saunter towards the camera.

There was a silence in the room as everyone stared at their Professor, then, with a small thump, Colin fainted.