A/N: This chapter is dedicated to lulabelljane and xparawhorextwerdx for being fellow sickies with me and to pwtf for giving me virtual 'get well' supplies. The reviews, as always, were amazing. Thank you all for the wonderful support!

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~*~Pain Killers~*~

Bella

I felt like a complete fool. If it wasn't for my body's aversion to staying vertical I wouldn't have had to been carried from the forest and rushed to the hospital. If I had the balance - or luck, for that matter - of any normal person, I could have sulked for a few minutes and then walked out of the woods of my own free will.

Instead, I twisted my ankle and while trying to hop my way to safety I fell numerous times until I had to crawl because my knees couldn't take the trauma of crashing to the ground anymore. I tried to yell for help, but the cold air did a number on my vocal chords and I eventually lost my voice along with all hope. I thought it was a miracle when I heard Edward calling for me.

I had barely anything left when he found me. I was so cold and weak that at the time that I didn't care that I had humiliated myself in front of him. Edward was there and he was holding me. I tried to apologize for being so stupid, for having feelings for him, for making him come looking for me, but he wouldn't have it and then the words that left his mouth had me reeling.

They weren't spectacular by any normal standards, but they were incredible to me. They also had me more confused than ever. Why would he have been so upset over losing me if he didn't want to have anything to do with me? And the look on Edward's face when he found me broke what was left of my already shattered heart. But why? Why did it hurt him so bad to see me that way?

Then he started apologizing for everything that he put me through and it killed me. Yes, I ran into the forest because I was embarrassed by my feelings for him, but it was hardly his fault. It was all so hard to understand. The happenings of the last two hours had me convinced that Edward truly did care about me in some form of the word, but then the question became, why did he speak with such conviction when he told me to stay away from him?

My head was starting to hurt from thinking too hard on top of all my other injuries. By the time the doctor was done with my examination the list included deep lacerations on both palms and on my elbows, contusions on over thirty percent of my body, my left side full of bruised ribs from where I fell on an uprooted tree, and one very nasty head cold. Not to mention the ankle and two extremely sore knees.

The pain was bad but I had had worse. Unfortunately, the embarrassment rating for this hospital visit put the experience at number one on the "Bella's worst's" list. I leaned back against the pillow and winced. It was going to be a long month trying to heal from all of my exterior wounds. I didn't even want to think about the internal ones.

When the pain subsided from my changed position I lifted my legs and settled back into the hospital bed. It had been a long night and I was exhausted with everything that had happened. I closed my eyes just as I heard the door open and decided to feign sleep. I really didn't want to have to deal with Charlie anymore. I knew he loved me and was just concerned, but his hovering was starting to drive me insane.

He seemed to buy that I was out because I heard him gently close the door and quietly pull up a chair. It was kind of nice to just be able to rest and have my dad's company after what I had been through. I heard him move forward and then I felt his hand on my hair, stroking it away from my face. It was so very unlike Charlie that I almost blew my cover and laughed.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

I tensed. That was so not Charlie's voice. There was only one voice that could be that beautiful. I was so nervous that I didn't even notice the hand leaving my head until it was already gone and then I heard a light chuckling noise coming from the man sitting next to me.

"You never were a good liar. You can stay asleep if you want to, but I'd really like to talk if that's okay."

Slowly, and with a heavy sigh, I opened my eyes and turned my head to see Edward. I really didn't want to talk and have him deject me yet again, but he was already in on my state of awareness, so there wasn't really much sense in waiting. That and I needed a few things cleared up before he went back to ignoring me, like why he said he didn't want me and then cried over almost losing me.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

It was such a simple question with such a complicated answer. Edward sat patiently waiting for my reply. He had a slight smile, but it didn't reach his eyes and he looked far worse than he did that morning. The shadows under his eyes were deeper, but reddened from his tears and his posture was small and trodden, like that of a peasant before a king. It didn't fit him at all.

"I feel fine. You came looking for me." I waited a few seconds, but he said nothing. "Why?" His smile disappeared at that and pressed into a firm line before he spoke.

"Bella, what I said to you earlier was out of line and completely untrue." Edward put his head in his hands for a moment as if he was struggling with what he was saying, then he looked back up at me with more intensity. "I could never want you out of my life, Bella. You are one of the kindest, most genuine people I know and I'm sorry. I pushed you away because we were getting to close and whether we like it or not, you are my student, Bella."

"But I still don't understand why. Why did you blow up at me like that and then come looking for me?"

Again, I saw the struggle behind Edward's eyes and it killed me. There was something there that he wanted to tell me, I just didn't know what. But then he sighed and I knew that this time would be no different than any other. He wasn't going to tell me.

"The truth is that I've been going through a lot this past week and I took it out on you. I've been dealing with…," he paused, considering his words, "The loss of someone that I loved very much. I was keeping it bottled up because I couldn't talk about it with anyone and when you pushed me I just lost it." He looked down at the floor and said the next part so low that I don't think I was supposed to hear it. "You don't know how bad I wished I could tell you."

The relief I felt when I realized that Edward truly didn't hate me was euphoric. Not only was his original rejection a product of precaution, but his horrible words were nothing more than an outlet for his pain on a completely different matter. But that made my happiness dull. Edward was still in pain.

"Who," I hesitated. I couldn't bring myself to actually mention death. "Who did you lose? It wasn't your sister, was it? Or your aunt or uncle?"

"No, Bella. It wasn't anyone in my family." Even though he was looking away from me, I could still see his eyes sadden and something came to me that made my heart ache far worse than any of my injuries did to my body.

"Was it…was it, like…a girlfriend?" Edward looked up then and let out a bitter chuckle before turning away again, but there was nothing happy in any part of his manner.

"No. She wasn't a girlfriend, just someone that I cared very deeply for."

I felt horrible for taking comfort in the fact that Edward didn't have a someone special. Not only was the possibility of me and Edward ridiculous, but he was in pain and I was absorbed in my own happiness. I was terrible and even if Edward couldn't hear what I was thinking, I still felt like I needed to say something.

"Edward, I…" Edward furrowed his brow and sighed.

"Bella, I told you, we can't…" I cut him off quickly.

"I'm sorry. Mr. Cullen, you don't have to go through this alone. I get that I'm your student, but that doesn't mean that you can't talk to me. In fact, you kind of have to seeing as I'm the Editor and Chief to your magazine." I laughed to lighten the mood, but I was dead serious. "You don't have to cut me out, Mr. Cullen. I can handle restrictions."

Edward smiled at me and, though it still didn't fully reach his eyes, I could tell it was genuine. "Maybe you're right. Restrictions. Wish I'd have thought of that."

I laughed and he smiled a bit more. Finally, all of the drama was over and we could get back to normal. Well, as normal as we could be with our restrictions. I wasn't complaining, though. It was better than nothing. Actually, it was better than a lot of things. As Edward talked to me about what I missed at the LitMag meeting, all I could think about was how much I would do to never feel the pain of losing Edward again.

I could pretty much guarantee that I would do anything especially with how the light returned to Edward's eyes through the course of our conversation. We never discussed anything other than school and the limits of our relationship, but it was enough to stop him from hurting so bad over the loss of his friend. As long as I was still helping Edward, I could handle our little restrictions.

But pretty soon, I couldn't stifle the urge to yawn anymore and Edward laughed as I tried to continue my current statement through my gaping mouth.

"I think it's time for you to rest. It's going to take a while for your dad to get everything ready for your release. Try to get some sleep." I nodded and lazily smiled as I felt the drugs I had taken earlier start to kick in.

In all honesty, I couldn't help but smile at the change in Edward's demeanor since I saw him in the afternoon. He might not have been completely back to his old self, but he was definitely getting there and my elation at that fact wasn't going down anytime soon. Unfortunately, Edward did have to leave and I sighed as he walked to the door. I stopped him just before he left.

"Wait, I never thanked you!" He smiled apologetically and the sad look was back in his eyes.

"You don't have to thank me, Bella. I was my fault that you…"

"Don't you dare!" I was actually a little angry that he would blame himself for my stupidity. "It's not your fault that I over reacted and ran into the forest or that I'm incapable of standing upright for more than five minutes at any given time. If I want to thank you I can and there's nothing you can do about it."

Edward was shaking with laughter that he was trying to hold back, but when he tried to talk it burst out of his mouth before he could stop it. It was the best sound I'd heard all week and I before long I was giggling right along with him. I think the medication helped a little with that, too.

"You're too much, Bella. One second, you're thanking me. The next, you're yelling at me and then you laugh with me not a minute later. What do they have you on?"

"Cough medicine, Vicodin, Ibuprophin and Robaxin," I said proudly. "I mean it, though, E – Mr. Cullen. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have found me."

"Well, I did find you, so there's no need to dwell on it." I grinned mischievously. He set me up perfectly.

"You promise?" He furrowed his brow in question and I giggled some more. "If I can't dwell on it, then neither can you."

He grinned the crooked smile that I loved so much and shook his head in resignation. "Goodnight, Bella."

I sighed as I watched the unrequited love of my life walk out the door. There was still something strange about the whole situation that I couldn't put my finger on, but with my eyelids closing without my permission, I couldn't spend too much time on the subject.

I expected to see white walls and florescent lighting when I woke. I was surprised when I opened my eyes to a dim room that happened to be my own. I turned over to look at the clock and cringed, both from moving and from the time. Apparently, Charlie had driven me home and carried me up to my room where I slept through the night.

I had planned on going to school, but seeing as it was already noon, I highly doubted that was going to happen. Sighing, I eased myself out of bed to take a shower. Although, my cuts had been cleaned, the rest of me hadn't and I felt gross. Not to mention the hot water on my aching muscles would feel like heaven.

All too soon, the water started cooling down and it was time to get out. I headed downstairs once I was dressed and re-bandaged to find myself something to eat. Most people would have needed help to get themselves wrapped and braced, but I had more experience with that than 'most people.'

I was all ready for some frosted flakes when I noticed the pan in the sink. It used to be a good pan, but looking at it there in its blackened state with some sort of black rubber sticking to it, it looked…Can inanimate objects look dead? It was almost sad to look at the poor little pan. It was also very suspicious.

I know I didn't kill the skillet like that, so the only logical culprit was Charlie. What did he do to it? I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the car pull up in the driveway and jumped when Charlie walked trough the door. I grimaced from the pain at moving so fast and turned to Charlie.

"What did you do?" I asked in a slightly accusatory tone. Charlie set down the bags he was carrying and mumbled into an explanation.

"Well, I was trying to make eggs and bacon, but it didn't work out so well, so I went down to Sara's Café and got you some breakfast." He looked up at the clock. "Lunch."

I giggled a little at my dad's guilty face and then thanked him and we ate in comfortable silence, with me smiling the whole time. Soup was one thing, but apparently eggs were beyond Charlie's cooking proficiency. No pan anywhere was safe from this torturer of cookware, I thought to myself.

I thought of many more catchphrases throughout breakfast even saying some aloud. With the new medication in my system, I found the thought of Charlie trying to take care of me and the end product of those attempts hilarious. Once I was finished with my toast, I was full out laughing from my lame jokes.

"Uh huh, laugh it up," Charlie said dryly. "My shift starts in a half hour. Are you going to be okay?" I nodded still slightly giggling and Charlie left me with a quick goodbye, shaking his head as he went.

The rest of the day went by slower than my truck drove in the winter. With the pills I was on, I couldn't focus enough to read and I really didn't like watching television too much. Eventually, I settled on tidying up the house even though it took me three times as long to do something because my injuries.

At around six thirty there was a knock at the door. When I answered it, I was met with an annoyed looking Alice and Jasper hold a pizza. The short little pixie I called my best friend brushed past me to the kitchen table where I had been folding laundry and picked up a pair of my underwear, waving them around at me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, what the heck is this?" I laughed where normally I would have been embarrassed, having taken a few more pills only a half an hour prior to Alice's visit. Alice rolled her eyes. "Bella, you are supposed to be taking it easy. I knew you were doing something stupid like housework."

Alice said 'housework' as if it was the most vile word in the English language and I laughed harder before grabbing my ribs in pain. The medicine usually helped, but physical exertion was not recommended. Alice pulled me over to the couch and told me to sit before she forced me and asked Jasper to go serve up the pizza.

"Alice, I'm not hurt that bad. I'm just a little sore is all." She waved her hand to dismiss me.

"Yeah, fine, okay. I'm not here to be your mom. Tell me what happened with Mr. Cullen before Jazz gets back." I wanted to laugh again at Alice's eagerness, but I really didn't want to talk about Edward in from of her boyfriend.

"He said he took out his frustrations on me and that he was sorry and that we had to follow the restrictions of a student/teacher relationship."

Alice furrowed her brow and then sighed. She mumbled something under her breath about having to do more work and then turned to me with the most innocent smile I'd ever seen. I didn't trust it one bit. Alice was up to something and I knew by her demeanor that I wasn't going to be able to coax it from her easily.

We talked for a few more moments about Edward and then Jasper came back and our topic moved over to Alice's internship. She was so excited to be learning from the Beth Cardue that I couldn't help, but share in her enthusiasm. Jasper was also happy for Alice, but it left him with nothing to do in the afternoons, but wait for her.

"I know it's a little late to apply, Bella, but do you think you could talk to Mr. C and get him to let me into LitMag?" The half-pout on Jasper's face was a mini reproduction of the one Alice gave me all the time and that I did laugh at.

"You don't have to beg, Jasper. I'm sure it'll be no problem. Come tomorrow." After that, we watched a couple movies and they left me to get some rest.

The next day I had to argue with Charlie to let me go to school. It wasn't a heated dispute, by any means, but I could definitely tell I got my stubbornness from him. He only gave in because Alice was already there waiting for me and Charlie could never resist Alice anything.

The first week after my little excursion into the woods was a mix of pain and pleasure. It was nice to have Edward back and hanging out with Jasper and Angela in LitMag was great, but my injuries took a lot out of me and Lauren's company left something to be desired.

I didn't know what I did to her, but for some reason, she took it upon herself to make my life a living hell. I hated that she was the most qualified for the magazine. If it hadn't have been for Mr. McCarty I'd have skipped right over her submission, but looking through with him instead of Edward, I could hardly deny her a spot just because we didn't get along.

But even with Lauren and my injuries, nothing could dampen the happiness I felt at being able to talk with Edward again. Of course, I had to call him by his last name all the time now, and we couldn't really get off topic about LitMag and school, but he was there and that was enough. I thought it was going to last, but I was ignorant.

"Happy birthday, Bella," Alice said holding up a small box a few days later. I glared at her.

"My birthday was almost two weeks ago, Alice. And you already got me something." She rolled her eyes.

"Yes, yes, but we didn't get to go out for your birthday and you're going to need this for where I'm taking you." I opened the box and saw a State of Washington ID card with my name and picture on it saying that I was twenty-two years old. "There's this new club opening up in Seattle, I've booked us a suite at the Hilton for next weekend, and Charlie already knows I'm taking you."

"I'll bet he doesn't know that your parents won't be there," I said with a smirk. Alice huffed.

"You will not ruin this trip, Bella! Let me do this!" Then Alice unleashed the full power over her puppy dog eyes on me and I was a goner.

"Ugh, fine. I'll go, but I won't enjoy it." Alice smiled triumphantly and I internally scolded myself for being too much like Charlie to resist the little minx, either.

The rest of the school day passed by slowly, as usual. Without Alice to keep me company in Phys Ed or Spanish, I was left to doodling in my notebook or getting ahead on tedious homework assignments. And drinking lots of water. The pills that the doctor still had me taking made my mouth extremely dry and with the added liquid to my diet came added bathroom stops.

I was bouncing in my chair waiting for the final bell to ring in seventh period. When it finally did, I all but ran to the restroom, forgetting momentarily about my sprained ankle. I was seriously ready to kick the pills and just deal with the pain to stop the incessant need to relieve myself. It was really starting to be a hassle.

Just when I was about to flush the toilet, I heard the annoying voice of the girl I had to put up with on a daily basis in LitMag. It wouldn't have normally stopped me, but I heard my name being squealed and I couldn't help the curiosity at what was being said about me. It sounded like Jessica was the one with her.

"Yes, Bella!" Lauren said dishing some sort of juicy gossip.

"Really? I don't think so, Lauren. Bella doesn't seem like the type that would sleep around. Are you sure?" Even through Jessica's defense, I could hear her excitement at my expense.

"I'm totally serious. She's sleeping with Mr. Cullen to keep that editor job and she's probably getting a big fat A in Lang, too." I could feel my breath becoming shorter and I needed to stop it before I was discovered. "And didn't you see them a couple weeks ago? They had this big lover's spat, but now they've made up."

"Oh, my God, Lauren. That is so…scandalous! Go, Bella for snagging Mr. Hotty. I can't wait to tell Mike. I wonder why I didn't know this."

"It's totally obvious in the way she looks at him. And he…" But the rest of their conversation was cut off by the door closing.

I could feel my chest tightening and I couldn't breathe. It felt like my world was crashing down around me. I was so stupid to think that no one would notice the way I felt about my teacher. And now, because of my open book of a face, Edward was in danger of being the center of a scandal where he could lose his job. It wasn't a question of if this rumor got out, but when and it was all my fault.

The jingling of my cell phone pulled me out of my thoughts and I was able to calm my hyperventilation a little. It was a text from Edward.

Meeting started. Not like U 2 B late. R U OK?

I knew I had to answer, but I honestly didn't know what to do. The only thing I did know was that I was not going to LitMag.

Didn't feel well. Charlie took me home. Sorry I didn't tell you.

It was only a few seconds before he replied.

Get better, k? C U 2mrw?

I sighed and just responded with a yes to placate him. I honestly didn't know if I could face him or anyone else for that matter. But putting my embarrassment aside, there was Edward. I didn't see before why he had separated himself from me, but it was all too clear now with the impending storm heading our way.

It killed me to lose him the first time, but I thought I could almost bear it this time if I was saving him from losing the job that he loved so much and the life that he worked so hard for. I would not let my feelings for him destroy him. And so, I did the only thing I could think to do. I prepared myself to push him away from me.

I spent the time when I should have been at the meeting in the library, typing up the end of my happiness. He tried to tell me before, but I didn't listen and now I had to go further because the damage was already done. I printed out the offending piece of paper and although it was light as a feather, it felt like lead in my hands.

Edward was clearing away the days work when I entered his classroom. He looked up confused and I'm guessing that the apprehension in his face came when he saw mine. I had to keep my cool and I'm sure I looked cold and callous. It was the only way I wouldn't burst into tears. I gave him the paper and his brows furrowed more and more as he read.

"What's this?" He seemed scared, but I couldn't understand why. Why would my resignation from the magazine scare him?

"I can't work on LitMag anymore," I said. I could feel the tears trying to fight free of their prison and so I left before Edward could see. It was the right thing to do and I knew that, but it hurt worse than I thought it would and I only made it to the same horrible bathroom before I broke down completely.

A/N: I've been on Robaxin combined with Vicodin. It's just like that! I know a lot of you are probably upset with Bella, but she thinks she's doing what's best. I don't agree with her, but Bella and Edward both are rather self sacrificing. It's a problem of theirs, lol. Thanks for reading!