Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis, and partial plot was from Crystal Aurora

Chapter 4: Knowing I have you but not your love

"Your highness, your father has decided that you should get to know generals of the army. May I introduce… Captain Tezuka Kunimitsu. He is in charge of the land army…"

I turned to look at the man who was standing before me, he was tall and the way he stood signified a very strong and powerful person. I didn't even bother to listen to the names of our sea army general, because something didn't feel right when I saw him. He kept his head up but there was something in his eyes which I knew as recognition. I turned to look at where his eyes were looking at, only to see that my princess, Sakuno, who was looking at him with the same expression but only worse… She looked shocked, relieved and many more expressions. A myriad of expressions came through her face, and she never looked at me in that way. It bothered me and I wouldn't lie. Once more, I could feel the monster within me stir… it seems that the jealousy would never stop when it comes to Sakuno.

"It is a pleasure to meet our country's bravest generals. I assume you haven't yet met my wife? Echizen Sakuno. Please, continue to serve our country with your loyalty."

Even when I said those words, I looked straight into General Tezuka's eyes. Sakuno was mine and I refuse to allow anyone or anything to take her away from me and even if it means that she would detest me for the rest of my life. Because I love her, that simple notion cost me a lot and I had to say, I paid more than I received.

"Who was he Sakuno?"

I hate to admit that behind closed doors, my temper is very hard to keep check. Sakuno handles it well, but even then, I knew… she could not always tolerate it.

"I have already married you Ryoma. Is that not enough? Since our union, you have demanded so much from me!"

I pushed her roughly against the door, anger couldn't cover it. I hate this response from her but I couldn't bear to do anything towards her I punched the wall beside her, and she flinched but her eyes locked onto mine. Ever since we got married, her shyness had to be knocked out of her, and now she constantly responds to me with her eyes staring straight at me.

"Have I? I demand so little of you… All I ask from you is to love me! Is it really hard for you to do so?"

She looked at me with a complicated expression on her face and a simple response.

"That… is asking too much."

I felt like a stake plunged right through my heart and the jabbing pain became tenfold. It was so painful that I could barely breath from jealously and possessiveness. Why? Why was it so hard for her to comply to a simple demand? Was I that detestable? Does she hate me that much? I kissed her forcefully and she allowed me access. I felt like I was losing her every day she spends being married to me. I tried to bring her to me, I want to tie her to me. If I had chains or rope, I would bind her to me so that she will never leave me, but for now, I can only take her body just in frail and feeble attempts to keep her. You know what hurts the most? Is when I look at her to find that she had shut her eyes and mind to all around her… she refuses to allow me to take everything from her. I want her so much as I held her time and time again. I never cried, in my whole life, and I have never cried for anyone or anything but, that night… I cried. I well and truly cried because the pain was already too much to bear.

I loved her too much to even begin describing it. First it all started with catching sight of her drenched in wine… next was her under the moonlight… every moment with her and I fall deeper. Even when I find out that she only sleeps on the left side of the bed, and that she never is agreeable to fish. Or that sometimes she passes gas when she is in the bathroom, and she thought no one could hear her. To think that after knowing her for three months, all I could think of was how much I loved the way she never allows anyone to choose my outfits, she would never allow servants to be in the same room as us when we are at meal times… most of all… I loved it when she unconsciously reads her book in my study only when I am there. I assumed she loved me, but night after night, I was rest assured that she still detested me. The way her eyes looked when I kiss her fingers, or the way she would look at me when I wrap my arm around my waist.

"Why can't you just be mine? Why can't I have you heart Sakuno?"

She never answers as my tears came down from my eyes as I placed my head on her stomach. Hoping she could assure me she will try, but all through the night of pain, all she could say was 'sorry'. If I knew loving someone could have such a painful twist to our heart, I'd rather take my heart away. I'd sell my heart to the next idiot. I want her to understand how it feels, and I want her to feel what I feel. I love her so much that I can't let her go, no matter how excruciatingly painful it felt having her beside me and knowing I can't have her. I have finally know how flexible the heart is, because she made it twist into so many painful angles I wondered if there was any shape my heart couldn't twist into?