A/N: Thanks for all the well wishes while I was sick. I feel much better. And thanks everyone for the great reviews! I try to answer as many as I can, but with so many it's really hard to keep up AND write the story. Even if I don't respond, know that it means the world to me. They really do make my day! I spend boodles of time trying to make the story flow and make it realistic and emotional. To hear that I've achieved that is so wonderful I can't even describe it. Thank you guys so much!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
~*~Reconciliation~*~
Edward
It took me a minute to realize what I was reading. I didn't understand how she could be doing this. The past week and a half had been wonderful. Of course, Bella and I couldn't go back to the way things used to be, but the hell I had gone through without her made every second I spent with her that much sweeter. But now, she was ripping my heart out of my chest with her withdrawal from the magazine.
A million thoughts and questions ran through my mind as I read the words on the page. Why was she doing this? Did she figure out that I was in love with her? This would hurt her chances for Dartmouth. But more than anything, I was losing her again and I didn't know why. Something had happened, I could see it in her eyes, but what that something was, I didn't know.
"What's this?" I tried to keep my emotions out of my voice, but I was too afraid of what was causing her sudden resignation to pay that close attention.
"I can't work on LitMag anymore."
In that moment, I put aside my fear over what she knew of my feelings. She was so much more important. The pain in her voice was evident and I could see the tears ready to fall from her eyes, but she turned and ran from the room before I could say a word. It was like déjà vu, but I was not going to let her go this time without a fight.
Bella was already out of sight by the time I made it out the door. I mentally cursed myself for not having fast enough reflexes when it came to her. The first place I checked was the parking lot, but her truck was still there, cold and empty. I knew that Bella was smart enough not to run into the woods again, but I didn't know where she could have been otherwise.
I was on my way to check the library when I heard muffled sobs coming from a girl's bathroom. There was no question that those cries came from Bella and my heart bled for her sadness. I could only pray that I wasn't the reason for her tears as I pushed into the bathroom without a second thought.
I wanted nothing more than to pull Bella into my arms and sooth away the anguish on her face, but I still didn't know what caused that pain and there was a chance that my feelings had something to do with it. Not to mention the rules of our relationship prohibiting my touching her in such an intimate way.
Instead, I rushed to her side and knelt so that I could look her in the eye. The fear I saw there killed me. I was the cause of that, but I came up with nothing when I wracked my brain trying to think of something that I might have done to elicit such trepidation.
"What are you doing here?" Bella was starting to hyperventilate. "You can't be here! If someone see's…You could…I couldn't bear it! You have to leave!"
"Bella, you need to calm down." Bella just kept yelling at me to get out, but I couldn't leave her like that, so I grabbed her face gently between my hands and brought her face level to mine. "Bella, listen to me. You need to calm down or you're going to pass out."
I could see the questions in her eyes as I stared trying to communicate my need for her to breathe and slowly the anxiety I saw faded into understanding and she began to quiet. In the seconds I was trying to relax Bella, I realized what she was saying. I was the cause for her tears, but not in the way I had originally thought. Bella wasn't afraid of me, she was afraid for me.
"Bella, I need to know what happened." The tears in Bella's eyes threatened to return as she tried to shake her head, still in my grasp. "Bella. Bella, listen to me. I have to know what's going on."
"I'm so sorry. You tried to tell me and I didn't listen and now it's too late. This is all my fault. I'm so, so sorry, Edward. I didn't mean for any…I just…I didn't think it would hurt anyone. I was wrong. I'm so sorry!"
"Bella, shh." I stroked her cheek with my thumb before I realized what I was doing. It just felt natural and I needed to understand what she was saying. How Bella could have done anything to hurt anyone was beyond me. "Tell me what happened and I'll fix it. Do you trust me?"
Bella nodded her head, but didn't speak right away. I knew that whatever she was going through was going to be hard for her to talk about so I lowered my hands from her face, but took one of her hands in mine to reassure her. Then, I just waited for her to be ready. She lowered her gaze to the floor before she started.
"I…I overheard Lauren and Jessica talking. I didn't understand what was so wrong with us being friends until I heard them."
The disgust and anger in Bella's tone were new to me. I had heard her angry before, but never to the point where I could hear hatred her voice. It pained me to know that she had been through something to bring out that emotion. It was so unlike her.
"They saw…They think…They…" She was struggling to get the words out.
"It's okay, Bella. What did they say?" It was killing me to have to be the calm rational person. I wanted to be as angry as Bella for what those two girls did to her, but I knew that Bella needed me to be composed.
"Lauren told Jessica that I was sleeping with you to keep the Editor in Chief position and to get a good grade in class." The hand that wasn't holding Bella's balled into a fist. She met my eyes, then, and my heart broke several times over at the emotions that I saw. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to hurt you."
"Bella, what are you talking about?" I knew my voice was raised, but I couldn't stand the thought of Bella blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that let things go too far. Besides, we didn't do anything wrong, okay? Nothing's going to happen to me."
"How can you say that?" Bella asked me in disbelief. "It's only a matter of time before admin hears the rumor and it doesn't matter if it's true or not. Your name will still be ruined!"
She was right, of course. I could lose my job over stupid gossip and there wasn't much I could do about it. But I wasn't only worried for myself. If news of mine and Bella's false relations leaked beyond that of the town, there was a very good chance that she could lose the acceptance and scholarships to colleges that she'd applied to.
"Bella, I don't want you to worry about a thing. I'm going to make some calls and figure everything out. I'm not going to let this hurt you." Bella scoffed.
"You seriously think I care about myself? So what if I get reprimanded. At worse, I lose a couple scholarships. I can live with Community College. You will have nothing if this gets out of hand."
"Don't even think like that." I was already angry and Lauren and Bella talking down about herself riled me further. "You have so much going for you that you don't even realize. Dartmouth, remember? You've worked so hard. You will get it."
Bella blushed at my intensity and nodded. I loved her blush. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and it was so uniquely Bella. We stayed that way silently comforting one another for a few minutes, but it was getting late and I knew that it wouldn't help out case if someone were to drive by the school and recognize the only two cars left in the parking lot.
"I will see you in LitMag tomorrow, yes?" Bella nodded and I smirked. "Good. It's about time you stopped shirking off your responsibilities."
Bella gave me a sarcastic laugh, but her smile was real and that made the fight for our cleared names all the more important. I couldn't let Bella go down for some stupid high school girl noticing my feelings and creating a story around it. I wouldn't let Bella go down for it. If worst came to worst, I would admit to my obsession with my student and save Bella's future.
I said my goodbyes to Bella and waited a few minutes before leaving, myself. I just kept going over everything that I could do in my head, but came to the same conclusion every time. I was going to have to make a call that I really didn't want to make. Unfortunately, it seemed like my only option.
When I finally made it home I noticed Emmett's Jeep in the visitors spot. I had completely forgotten that he was coming over to watch the game and I really wasn't in the mood for company. I was met with an annoyed stare when I reached my door and when I brushed past Emmett without excuses or an apology he started questioning me.
"LitMag ended forty-five minutes ago and it only takes ten to get from here to the school. What the hell? You knew we had plans tonight."
"I forgot," I replied absent mindedly. Emmett was slowly turning from annoyed to furious.
"What the hell do you mean you forgot? What were you doing that was so important?"
I knew what Emmett was implying and part of me really wanted a fight. I could have egged him on, I was so angry at so many things; at Lauren and Jessica, at my weakness to a certain brown-eyed girl, at what I had to do, at the stupid school district, at God. But one person that I was not angry with was Emmett. I also knew that if it did come to blows I would more than likely end up in the emergency room.
"I was trying to calm down Bella." Emmett's face went carefully blank as he motioned for me to continue. "She tried to quit the magazine. She ran off before I could stop her and when I found her she was hysterical."
"I don't understand. Why would she quit? She loves that magazine almost more than you do." I laughed half-heartedly at Emmett's mask, now long forgotten and replaced with concern. He really was a big softie. But I took a deep breath and sobered up quickly as I remembered what I was discussing.
"She was trying to protect me. Apparently, Lauren Mallory is spreading the rumor that Bella is sleeping with me to get a decent grade and for the Editor Job."
"What?" Emmett was enraged and I quickly took back my earlier assessment of him being a softie. "What the hell is that bitch's problem?"
"Emmett," I warned.
"I'm sorry! I know I shouldn't talk about a student like that, but damn it, Edward! I had to put up with her on a daily basis last year. I know what kind of chick she is, but this? Bella is…This kind of thing would ruin a girl like Bella! Not to mention you! When this gets out, you're done, Edward!"
"You don't think I know that? I've thought about it all a hundred times over! I know what kind of damage that gossip could do! I don't even care about myself, but Bella…This could hurt everything that she's worked for! So, yes, Emmett! I know, okay? I know how royally fucked I am!"
I was screaming at him, but it didn't faze him. He just let me get everything off my chest. It was more than I deserved, but I appreciated it all the same. Emmett really was one hell of a friend.
"Then what are you going to do about it?" Emmett finally asked once I had calmed down. I sighed.
"I'm going to call the best lawyer I know." Emmett looked at me suspiciously.
"Need a good lawyer every now and again, do you?" I smiled at Emmett's attempt to lighten the mood, but it didn't take the dread out of what I had to do to get that lawyer.
"She's my sister." Emmett furrowed his brow in confusion.
"I didn't know you had a sister." I sighed again and looked away.
"No body does, except for Bella. Rosalie and I aren't exactly on the best of terms."
I pinched the bridge of my nose knowing that I needed to continue with the story. Emmett was my best friend and I was going to need his support if I was going to call Rosalie. Swallowing one's pride is not an easy thing to do.
"I think I told you that my parents died in a car accident just after I turned sixteen?" Emmett nodded. "Rosalie was nineteen and about to start her second year at NYU in the fall. She stayed long enough to make sure I was emancipated and then took off and never looked back. Our parents had money, so I was able to live comfortably. Still am." I laughed without humor. I would have given all the money in the world to be able to change the past.
"Did you know I went in to teaching because of my mother?" I looked up at Emmett and he gave me a weak smile. "She was a teacher before Rose was born. Mom…God, she loved it, but she loved us more and she wanted to be a full time mother. But she always talked with such a passion about English and her students and just teaching in general that I guess it kind of stuck."
It was nice remembering my parents, but with the memories of the good came the memories of what I had lost. The smile I had when talking about my mother faded and I was left with the brutal reality of what had happened and I grimaced at the pain, staring intently at the ground.
"When my parents died I was devastated. I was able to take care of myself financially, but that didn't mean I didn't still need Rose. She left me two months after our parents died and I was alone." By this point my voice was barely a whisper. "She didn't even ask me to come with her." And then I yelled. "What kind of a sister abandons her sixteen year old brother just months after their parents die?"
I put my head in my hands and balled my fists in my hair. The only other person who knew about my past with my sister was Bella and I had told her over the course of a few weeks. Rehashing what happened years ago in one sitting was actually causing me to be ill.
"No calls, no letters, no anything. It was like she was in the car that night with my parents. For three years I pretended that she was dead and then she was there on my doorstep in the middle of the night, begging me to forgive her." I looked up then, but I still couldn't look at Emmett.
"She said that she just had to get out. That it hurt too bad to look back. She said that she wanted to call me a million times, but never got up the nerve until that summer when she was standing right in front of me. She was crying and I didn't care. I hated her for leaving me alone. Do you know what I did?" I looked at Emmett then. "I slammed the door in her face. She pounded on my door until early in the morning and I didn't say one word to her.
"I couldn't. I blamed her!" I stood up and started pacing with my rant. "I didn't leave for college, did you know that? She traveled the world and I never left Forks. I graduated high school early and took short term and online courses at University of Washington, Seattle. I didn't leave because if I had then I would have had nothing left! My parents died and my sister abandoned me! The only thing I had was this stupid town and my stupid empty house"
At that, I punched the wall and left an indent lightly traced with blood from my knuckles. I took a few deep breaths trying to relax my body and then I placed head in my hands and my back against the wall, sliding down until my elbows rested on my knees.
"It was easier when I could pretend that she was dead. But she came back and it killed me all over again. I hated her. I hated her so much." The pain in my chest was making it hard to breathe. I inhaled deeply before looking up at Emmett. We were silent for a moment before he asked me the million dollar question.
"Do you still hate her?" I took a second before I shook my head. I had long since stopped hating Rosalie.
"I miss her so much. But it's been years and there's so much bad blood between us. How am I supposed to just pick up where we left off before she turned her back on me?" I felt so helpless. I was so angry before and now I was just…vulnerable.
"It's not going to happen over night, Edward. You just need to take the first step and see where thing go. Do you know where she lives?"
"She emails me every now and again to let me know where she's at and what she's doing. She's in Seattle. I've followed her career and she's a damn good defense attorney. I'm…I'm really proud of her." I put my head in my hands again and closed my eyes. "You don't know how many times I've wanted to call her or write her back. I just couldn't do it. I haven't talked to her in so long. What do I say?" I looked back up at Emmett with pleading eyes.
"Well, before I would have told you to ask her to coffee, now the conversation has to go more like, 'Hey, Rose. It's Edward. I'm in a heap of trouble and I need your help.'" I sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time and pulled out my phone. There was no time like the present.
I sat with my thumb hovering over the send button for what seemed like a lifetime. Emmett waited patiently for me to build up the courage. Finally, after another eternity, I pressed the button and squeezed my eyes shut, holding the phone to my ear. She answered on the third ring.
"Rosalie Cullen." I tried to speak, but my mouth wouldn't open. "Hello?" I still couldn't get my brain to work my voice. "Hey listen, if this is…"
"Rose, it's Edward." There was silence from the other end. "Hello?"
"Edward? Is it really you?" It was strange hearing my sister sound so meek. The Rosalie I remembered was strong willed and hard-headed. I took a deep breath before answering.
"Yes." I heard a muffled sob coming from my sister's side of the phone and my heart broke a little. I had no idea that my calling her would affect her this much.
"I…I tried calling you, but you…the number was disconnected after a while." I could here the emotion deep in Rosalie's voice as she tried to control it.
"I know, I…I'm sorry." There was a moment of silence before I continued. "I miss you, Rose." I let out a small sob as a tear fell down my cheek. Rose was full out crying after my admission.
"I've missed you so much, Edward. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you. I'm so sorry!" I closed my eyes as more tears fell.
"Shh, Rose. It's…It'll be okay." I took another breath to prepare myself for my next task. "Um, Rose? I…I need your help. I'm in a little bit of trouble and I need you to be my lawyer." There was a pause.
"How did you know I was in law?" She seemed slightly shocked.
"I read your emails. And I've been following your career. I…I just didn't know how to do it, Rose. I'm so sorry. I wanted to see you so badly, but I just didn't know how." I was shaking trying to keep myself together.
"Edward, it's okay. I understand. What I did to you was horrible and if you never forgive me it will be too soon. I…I don't deserve you, but I love you so much." Rose's voice was thick with tears. I pulled the phone away from my ear for a minute and rubbed my face with my hand, before putting it back.
"I love you too, Rosalie. So much. I'm…I'm sorry I had to call like this." Rose sniffed and I could hear her trying to calm herself down on the other end before she spoke.
"You could have hired anyone." My lips turned up some at how much of a little girl my sister sounded. Then I took a shaky breath and answered her.
"I could have. But you're the best and…and I really need my sister right now." The last part was barely audible, but I could tell from the fresh sobs on the other end that Rose heard me.
"Okay," she said after a minute, "I'll come this weekend. You're still in Forks?"
"Yes, but you're not coming here. I know you have the senator's dinner this weekend. It was in your last email." She hurried to reassure me.
"I can cancel. You're more important." I closed my eyes and laughed a little. It was surreal having Rose back in my life, however small that was.
"Rose, go to the dinner. I know it's a big deal. I'll come to Seattle next weekend."
Rose huffed out a fine and this time I really laughed. That was the Rose I remembered. She had me tell her what the problem was. I told her what Bella heard and about how close I was to her, leaving out the part about how much I loved her. Rosalie listened and told to take Bella in to talk to the principal and say that if the situation does not get resolved that I would sue Lauren for slander. I thanked Rose and said good-bye.
"I'm…I'm really glad you called, Edward." I smiled.
"Me too, Rose. Me too." And then I hung up the phone.
"See?" I jumped at Emmett's booming voice. I had forgotten that he was there. "Wasn't so bad, was it? Now, let's watch the game."
I picked myself up off the ground and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge before sitting on the couch and passing one to Emmett. We watched the game in silence except for the outbursts for bad calls or touchdowns and it was great.
For all of the trouble that was coming my way, I felt oddly peaceful. I had a great best friend, I had my sister back, at least partially, and I didn't have to stay far away from Bella. It might not have been the most ideal circumstances, but it wasn't terrible. And although it wasn't exactly appropriate, for the first time in a long time, I felt like everything would work out for the better.
A/N: And enter Rosalie! I have always seen Edward and Rosalie as the most sibling-like of the Cullen family, so it just made sense for me to have her that way in my own fic.
Ah, Edward is one messed up case, huh? Breaks my heart, but it might explain a little of why he needs Bella so much. They have a connection that bulldozes through the walls Edward likes to erect. Thanks again for reading!