Disclaimer: I do not own POT

Author's notes: I was thinking I t was just alright the way it ended but since Ryosaku Echizaki wanted to kill me, I thought I better upload this part! = D Don't want to read it, then don't! XD

Chapter 8: White for pardon

"Sorry, wrong flag."

I was waving the white flag, the most amazing part of it? I was not intending to wave it, but my hand automatically grabbed onto the white flag, as if trying to give Sakuno her one last chance. If she couldn't be happy with me, so why should I ruin any chance of her future? As much as it pains me to let her go, I knew that I probably would never be able to live on knowing that I had killed her with my own two hands and she would die in my hands even after I vowed night after night to protect her at any cost.

I noted that when I placed the white flag down, there was a look of shock and betrayal as I lifted up the black flag. I knew Sakuno was very hurt and tears were in her eyes, but if only she knew the things I was doing for her… the things I would do for her… if only she could see things from my point of view. I looked away as I said to myself that this was her last and final chance, I am finally allowing her a chance with the one she loves. There would not be any more turning around, flipping the board or tricks in the cards, because I have finally decided to grant her the happiness she wanted and in turn she has to live on happily, if not for her own sake then for mine. I want her to live on being happy and perhaps this would reconcile with all the things I have done to her. I know she was unaware of that mistake actually being a signal, but it was and it was not a moment too soon, the moment the man was about to grab onto the handle of the axe, when all of a sudden, a large band of bandits came and knocked out the executioners. One of them came up from behind me and placed a dagger near my throat just as guards attempted to come and kill the bandits.

"Stay back! We are here to be heroes! Grant us passage out alive and your crown prince lives!"

The guards were a little hesitant but they retreated anxiously waited for them to let their guard down, but they kept me close just so that they could help Tezuka and Sakuno make their getaway. Was it an illusion or did I see concern coming from Sakuno? It seemed like she struggled a bit but I turned to look at her, my eyes determined. That one moment, she looked at me with concern and funnily that helped heal some of the pain I had in my heart because of her. She climbed onto a horse and the leader was quick to release me and ride off just as one of the chief commanders said

"Give chase!"

"No."

I sat up after being roughly thrown onto the floor, the people were looking at me with some form of admiration as I said

"There is no point."

The guards relaxed a little and the chief commander made sure I made it back into the castle safely. Even though my heart was heavy, I knew it was better than having to grieve for her death. Maybe because I felt like I was doing the right thing. I have forced her to comply with all of my demands and she fulfilled them all except one, so it was a reward to her. Even if I could never obtain her heart, no matter how hard I try. I probably ought to give up and start thinking of bride shopping again… but I secretly knew that I probably couldn't recover from such a broken heart.

It has been months and their favourite rumour was how the crown prince valiantly allowed his cheating wife to leave with her lover. They all were saying how much I loved her and sometimes I wonder if she ever thought about it that way? She had always seen me as a coercive man who only demands and never gives back, but… I suppose that made us fair. She would be with her love and be happy. As much as I like her to be happy with me, that simply couldn't happen. I haven't remarried and many ladies who heard my rumours were even more driven to marry me. Thinking I am the devoted husband and a loving one, but I doubt I could be the kind of husband for them. It was only for Sakuno, I did it only for her.

Waking up without her beside me was lonely and it shows because I continually slept on her side of the bed because it was the only place I could smell her sweet scent. Eiji and Momoshiro had congratulated me for helping them and said that Sakuno and General Tezuka should be safe. I didn't know how safe it could be for them to go off with bandits, but if Momoshiro says they were fine, I had no choice but to believe in him.

"Good morning your highness…"

My eyelids were heavy from sleep as I sat up, my ear recognizing the voice but I could easily admit it was all just a dream as I attempted to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"You're breakfast your highness, and your clothes are already laid out."

I was surprised because ever since Sakuno left with Tezuka, no maid dared to resume their duties to choose my outfits so I chose them myself. Perhaps this was the sign of change and the sign of giving up on her. Once my eyes were opened properly, all I saw was the maid's back as I sat down and started on my breakfast.

"Do you need anything else sir?"

Now I do recognize the voice as my fork dropped onto the platter with a clatter and I instantly stood up, almost making the table fall down. There she was, in all her beauty. The woman who could never leave my mind… the one person who could turn my insides into mush… the person I loved.

"Sakuno?"

I was in shock, not only was it that I was seeing her here in front of me, but I am looking at a very pregnant Sakuno. I was bitter but I can see the natural glow of health and happiness on her face and I couldn't help feeling that it eased my pain a little, knowing how happy she was. She nodded and she hugged me. I should consider getting a doctor because I think I am hallucinating. I supposed I think about her too much causing my mind to generate someone like her because she never initiates contact. That was always me, unless she was used to it now?

"Ryoma…"

She seemed to sigh in contentment, and it really boggled me to her behaviour. Thinking that I was delusional, I went back to eating just as Sakuno sat beside me, her eyes sparkling with joy that I was not accustomed to.

"What brings you back?"

I was already delusional, might as well continue along that path. I was overjoyed to have her back with me I didn't care if this was a delusion. I wasn't ready to wake up from it just yet. She flashed me another brilliant smile as she said

"I had to come back to talk to you Ryoma."

This was getting very strange as I placed the last piece of sausage into my mouth and slowly chew it. Sakuno didn't seem to mind and for once she was excited. Another expression I don't get every day. I know it has been months but it doesn't mean that I can't remember her attitude towards me.

"What is it?"

"…I had to explain to you. You refused to listen to me the last time I attempted to explain it."

I swallowed and placed my fork and spoon down as I looked at her wondering what was she going to say next. I love you? That would really be a delusion and after hearing that, I would head straight to the doctor and get something to cure this.

"That night when I went to Tezuka's room."

I think I feel a little sick, I love her and I still do. Hearing her do something with a man other than me is very hard to take. I didn't want to hear her continue on, but she insisted.

"I was finally saying goodbye to him for good."

"? I beg your pardon?"

I think I missed something and I think I heard it wrongly. Did she say part with him? What does that really mean? Was that the last time they would meet secretly? I had no idea what she meant when she said that.

"…I fell in love with Tezuka when I was in France so many years ago when I went abroad to study."

I controlled myself to make people think I am completely calm but if you ask me, no one in the right mind would bring up wounds like these. She seemed persistent and I allowed her to continue by watching her. Since I will get treatment for these delusions, I may as well take in her image and commit it to memory.

"But after 3 years, he had decided to come back to this country and I arrived back the following week. However, he vanished from trace and he left a note saying that he will cherish our memories in France but this was goodbye. I was very heartbroken because I loved him and to think he could easily cast it aside. But… things have changed. It has been 5 years in total… These things have got to stop turning the way it is."

So she knew how I felt, that was a great story but I wished I didn't have to listen to this while she is my delusion. I mean did it have to keep the part of her which loves that man? I got up to unbutton my shirt before looking over to see Sakuno merely sitting there, unmoving. Is she not going to go out? I am planning to be butt naked for 3 minutes but if she isn't complaining, I wasn't about to. I took off my shirt and pants as I started to dress myself when I remembered that she was waiting with that pause as if waiting for me to talk. I am not a talker, and I usually rather listen and even then… I might not want to.

"I am glad you two have finally be able to make ends meet."

"…That wasn't the ending I was talking about…"

Then what? I thought to myself frustrated at the cryptic words she was saying to me and the way she smiles so brilliantly… Since this was a dream that was going to fade away, I had no hesitations to give her a very puzzled look. If what she was trying to say was true, then it means I probably think of her too much and dreamed of all scenarios where she would claim that she was no longer in love with Tezuka but it would be cruel to think that I wanted it so badly that I have to hallucinate about it. I buckled the belt that went around my pants before slipping on my shirt and saying

"You know what Sakuno, your existence here in this room seems like a dream and I am more than willing to play along, so deal the final blow which could completely do away my love for you. What is your ending Sakuno?"

Sakuno's eyes dimmed a little at my words, but what could I say? Everything I said was the truth and even if she tried to convince me that she was real and right here in this room, I wouldn't believe it. It defeats every probability. Ever since I fell in love with her, she became the one thing in my life which I wasn't confident about. To her, I am vulnerable.

"…Ryoma…"

She came up towards me, I stopped what I was doing just so I could look at her. She was still so beautiful whether it would be the delusion or it'd be real. She was still so beautiful and it hurts to see her here and know I can never have her. Her slender hands took my own larger hands and placed them on her face. It was a gesture of such tenderness I felt like my own being was growing weak and powerless.

"I went to say goodbye to Tezuka that fated night because, I've fallen in love with you."

I blinked, I felt a very sore ache in my heart, it was the dull ache which I have felt when I first met her. To think come one day to be wrapped up in her love, I knew I'd be willing to die a thousand deaths to reach that goal. But when it was finally within reach, I simply can't believe it. It felt too surreal, this was more of a dream come true and when dreams come true, it just don't seem real. The feeling of such joy was almost criminal, she made my heart leap and my body warm up. It was like waking up from a long cold slumber. I kissed her fingers because I can barely explain how I felt when she said those words. I wished I could say something but I was too much caught up in those emotions I couldn't even hold it in. I kissed her forehead and make my way down with little butterfly kisses only to meet her sweet lips and I swear that this was so much more satisfying than making love to her.

No wonder I was hurting so much for the past few months, I wanted her love so badly that it was like I couldn't get enough of it.

"Say it again…"

I said in a soft breath and she seemed to pant a little from my kiss. Her eyes were alight with something I thought I would never see in my life time. Fondness, tenderness and the thing I wanted the most, happiness.

"I love you Ryoma… After Tezuka's arrival into your court, I thought my love for him still existed but coming to see him for a few days showed me… I can no longer picture anything more with him, yet all these months being apart from you were what I really begin to miss."

I took her hand in mind as I said to her, unable to stop my floodgates, and I don't mean tears, even though I swear I felt my eyes water a little. My emotional floodgates have been opened.

"All I wanted from you were those three words said from your heart, and now that I have them I can't believe it Sakuno. After going through endless amounts of pain when I think of you and my love for you… I want you to know, only you could drive insane, you destroy every bit of confidence I had, you made me defenceless when it came to you and I was hurt more than I could count with both hands and feet and yet… I still am hopelessly in love with you. In love with you enough to want to give us another go…"

There were tears from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around me, she held me tightly and I could only hold her.

"I… I was ready to get rejected by you. I know how much pain you went through Ryoma… I know. I see it in your eyes every time we talk and pass by one another. Even when I hated you, I felt guilt causing so much pain to you. It took me months to decide whether I should ever come back, because all I have done in the past was to hurt you. I didn't deserve everything you've given to me. I felt like I never deserved your love."

"The pain was worth it if it made you turn your head and fall in love with me. I would've continued to wait because, I am a possessive man. I never wanted you with anyone else but me, and from you I learnt that, sometimes in love and in marriage, one has to learn to give and take. I forced you into our marriage and tried to take everything from you and yet you gave and today… you have given me even more. Even if you never came back, I doubt my heart would take in another person."

She slowly let me go and held my hands as she said in a soft tone, but you couldn't dismiss the tears that were still coming down her face.

"Would you propose to me in the same way you did last time?"

I couldn't help the small smile on my face as I took her hand and pressed it close to my heart as I said with some confidence.

"I would get on my knee and do it the proper way Sakuno, but it seems your determined behaviour to run from my advances is causing a lot of problems. So I will ask you standing before you but I promise to do it properly when you agree. Marry me Sakuno."

"…It seems, Ryoma, you may release my hand. For I promise even if you release them, I won't release yours. I have long changed my running behaviour towards your advances. So, yes I will marry you Echizen Ryoma."

I was delighted with her response and kissed her things got a little heated and I remembered that she was pregnant so I stopped to look at her belly in question. If she loves me, whose baby is this? Surely it couldn't be? Sakuno seemed to read my thoughts as she said with a shy smile on her face.

"You were always the type of person trying to impregnate their wife."

If I had a small smile earlier, I have a grin now.

Want an epilogue? Of course you would… it comes next!