Hey Guys...
So I'm super exited to post this story here, because I've been writing and editing this for the past 3 years, and I'm really proud of the way it became.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, only the storyline.
6. A DYING THOUGHT
Edward almost carried me out of the hospital after the doctors had given up on Charlie. He carried me to the car and put me down in the passenger seat. I couldn't talk; I couldn't think, I could barely remember how to breathe.
He drove with one hand and held mine in his other. Every time I came through with a loud breath he looked at me with wary eyes.
I found myself at the bottom of the ocean and spoke out with an uncontrolled voice. "I'm all right. I just need some time." I told him.
He didn't say anything, just sent me a smile and turned off the highway, down the little road and to the house.
I couldn't see anything clearly. Everything was spinning inside my head.
The best thing about this was that they already knew. Alice would have told them as soon as she saw, so I wouldn't have to say the words.
Edward parked the car outside the house and ran to my door. He opened it and helped me out. He put his arm around my waist and closed the door.
They were all standing on the porch and looked at me with their eyes filled with sorrow. Even Rosalie.
Alice jumped down the steps in one graceful step and put her arms around me. She held me close for a few seconds before she pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I'm so sorry." She told me and smiled kindly.
I nodded and tried to smile at her.
Edward lightly pulled me through the crowd and towards the couch where he sat me down.
Renesmee who had gotten a bit more color in her cheeks, walked by my side on the way and sat down next to me. Her eyes were red and wet of tears. She put her little arms around me.
"It's okay sweetie. It's going to be okay." I told her and kissed the top of her head.
"I know, but it's not me I'm worried about. It's you." She told me. She stroked her curls away from her face and looked up at me.
"Thank you." I whispered. I slowly moved her arms and rose up. Edward was there ready to support me. "I'm okay. I just need to take a walk. I need to sort things out in my head. I'll be back before dawn." I told him.
He kissed me fast before I ran out the door.
The wind hit me the second I was outside. It played with my long hair and threw it back. It was dark and above me, the moon gave everything a dim silvery color.
I could feel eyes on me from behind, but I didn't care. I just ran into the trees as fast as my vampire speed could push me.
I just ran and ran until I got to the water. Then I collapsed in the sand and screamed.
The sun was rising when I got back.
I could hear Edward in the main house, so I walked to the cottage. Just to change my clothes.
When I walked past Renesmee' room I noticed her sitting in her bed, drawing.
"Good morning? Why are you already up? You got to bed pretty late yesterday." I asked and sat down next to her.
The drawing in her lab was of Jacob. He was standing in front of a mirror, looking at his wolf reflection. She had drawn something in his eyes that I had only seen in them a few times before. Sadness.
He always hid his sadness and pain inside and never showed it to anyone. He always tried to be happy and let nothing get to him, but inside his misery ruled.
"You miss him, don't you?" I asked her and put my arm around her small shoulders.
She nodded slowly and stroked her finger down the wolf's muzzle. "I do." she told me. "He was my best friend."
"Mine too."
She sobbed and threw her arms around me. She buried her face in my hair and started to cry.
"Honey, it's okay. I'm sure he'll forget why he left someday and he'll come back to being your best friend." I told her.
"I know. But a part of me doesn't want to be his best friend. Not after all that he has done to us."
"He has done good things to us too. He quit the pack to protect us when they wanted to kill you. He helped us with Victoria and the Volturi. Yeah, he did some bad things, but just remember the good things." I said.
"Yeah." She said. She rose up and walked to the closet. She found a pair of white jeans and a blue T-shirt and put on her shoes. She brushed her hair and walked back to me. She took my hand and together we walked against the main house.
Alice's voice was the first thing I heard. "Hello Renée. No she's not up yet, I'm sorry." She said.
My mother?
I let go of Renesmee's hand and ran inside. "I'm here." I told Alice and stopped next to her.
She nodded. "She's here now. I'll see you later." She said and handed me the phone.
"Mom?"
"Yes Bella, it's me. How are you honey? About Charlie and everything?" she asked me in a quiet voice.
"I guess I'm all right. I mean, it's hard – very hard. How are you?" I asked her.
"I'm very sad. And thinking about how you could not call me? This morning when the police called me I first thought something had happened to you, but then they said that Charlie had been shot and died."
"I'm so sorry I didn't call you, but I just needed some time to think. And I thought that if I had to tell you just after I had seen him in that bed, I would break."
"I know, honey." She said. "Have you thought about the funeral? I know it's a harsh question, but we have to think about it."
"No, I haven't thought about it yet, but I will, I promise. I will call you as soon as I figure something out." I told her and looked at Edward and Renesmee who were both looking at me with big eyes.
"Bella, Phil and I have already booked our flight; we'll be there tomorrow night. We wanted to be there for you."
I quietly gasped. "Tomorrow? Thanks mom. That means a lot." I told her and tried to hide the sudden fear in my voice.
"Don't think about it honey. Of course we'll be there."
When we hung up I walked like a zombie to the place in the couch next to Edward.
He put his arm around me and pressed me against his side. "That's a good thing, right? That they want to help you through this." He said.
I nodded.
Alice jumped in front of us. "We're going hunting. You wanna come?" she asked.
"No thank you, I think I'll wait a bit." I said and looked at Edward and Renesmee. "You can go if you want."
"We'll wait." Edward agreed.
Alice smiled and the others all rose up to run out the door. They disappeared into the trees shortly after.
We sat in silence there until Renesmee said, "I'm hungry. I'll go get some food." She rose up and walked into the kitchen.
A few minutes later she was sitting in the couch again with a bowl of cereal in her lab. "Is Renée coming tomorrow?" she asked.
"Yes, she'll be here tomorrow night." I told her. "So we probably should hunt before they get here, but we can wait 'till tomorrow."
"Yeah, it's been a while." She said. She rose up and walked into the kitchen again.
"How are you feeling? Nessie is so worried about you. We both are." He said and kissed the top of my head.
I leaned into his neck and inhaled the scent of him. "I don't feel good I guess. I know it's a natural thing that happens to everyone, but it's still hard when it does happen."
"It always is." He agreed with me.
We went out hunting the next day at noon, where I was preparing mentally to see my mom.
I watched as Renesmee sprang gracefully at a dear, and sucked the life out of it while it fought for its life, struggling with the little girl, and loosing.
Edward chased a mountain lion, and finished it without spilling a single drop of blood.
After that I took a quick shower, changed my clothes, and left for the airport to pick up Renée and Phil.
The plane had just landed when I arrived and after twenty minutes I heard my mother's voice.
"Bella!"
I turned around fast and looked through the muddy brown contacts I had decided to wear, at my Mother's face.
She was smiling widely and her brown hair curled down to her shoulders. She threw her arms around me and hugged me closely. "Oh, Bella, I've missed you so much." She said.
I pulled away. "I've missed you, too." I said and gave Phil a hug too. I took one of the suitcases my mom had in her hands and started to walk against the car. "How was the flight?"
"It was fine." Mom said. "How are things at home? Have you, Edward and Renesmee found a place to live alone?"
"No? We don't want to do that. We're fine living with the others." I told her and unlocked the Volvo. I put the suitcases in the trunk and we got in the car.
On the way home mom talked a lot about their short vacation in Mexico. Then Phil talked about the baseball team he trained and lastly they talked about their house.
I parked the car in the garage and grabbed a suitcase. When we walked into the living room Renesmee ran into my arms to hug me close.
She pulled away and walked to Renée and Phil. "Hello. I'm Renesmee." She said and smiled.
Renée sat down on her knees and smiled back at her. "Hello Renesmee. I'm Renée, Bella's mother. And this is my husband Phil." She said and pulled her hand forward.
Renesmee took it. "Hello Renée and hello Phil." She said and walked back to Esme in the couch.
"She is just adorable. How's it going with her? How is she settling after her parents dying?" Renée asked.
"She's happy to be here and to be with us. And we're happy she's here too, she's always happy and smiling, and she's great." I told them and shot a glance at my daughter.
Edward rose up and walked to us. "Hello." He said and shook both of their hands. "Let me take these to your room."
I smiled at mom and Phil. ""You two can just stay down here, and we'll be right back." I told them and took their suitcases.
Edward took the third suitcase and we marched up the stairs to Edward's old room.
We put the suitcases down and walked down the living room again.
Down there Esme was making some food for Renée and Phil and Emmett was playing with Renesmee.
She was sitting on his shoulders and drumming on his head while he jumped around like a little boy.
Phil, Edward and Jasper started discussing baseball, and Renée, Alice and Rosalie shopping.
I sat down next to my mother and listened to them talk. Renée had never been shy, so she just talked about anything that came to mind, where Phil was a bit more reserved and didn't say much.
Someone knocked the door and I went to open it. No one was out there but there was a piece of paper taped to the door.
I opened it.
Bella,
Sue and I have taken care of Charlie's funeral. We thought it would be hard for you to do after everything that has happened lately.
We have decided it should be on the place Charlie, Harry and I used to fish. He loved that place.
We have invited his closest friends and some from his work.
It is tomorrow at 12 am. Please be there.
Billy
I read it several times and walked back to the couch. I gave the paper to Edward and he passed it around to everyone after reading it himself.
"Well, I guess we don't have to make plans for it then." Renée said, sounding relieved.
I was as well. "I guess we don't." I told her and exhaled.
I was lying in Edward's arms that night and felt so sad that I would have to say goodbye to my father soon.
When dawn came I showered and accepted the black dress Alice gave me – and the black stilettos.
Edward was wearing all black – except for his blue shirt. Black trousers, black shoes, black jacket and black tie.
The rest of my family had decided not to come to the funeral because they meant it was only his closest family and friends, but Alice and Rosalie still kidnapped Renesmee to dress her. She would look like a doll when they were finished with her, but she liked it when they did her hair and gave her beautiful clothes.
Edward took my hand when I had brushed my hair and we walked against the main building.
Phil and Renée were eating when we got there.
Renée were wearing a black top and a black skirt. Her legs long and tan. She eyed me. "You look fantastic, honey. But you need some time in Jacksonville, you're so pale." She said and laughed.
"Are you ready to go?" Edward asked me when I looked at him.
"Yeah, I just need to catch my breath." I said and tried to laugh, but the sound was not real. "Renesmee. Are you ready to go, sweetie?" I called.
She ran to the stairs and walked down quietly. She was wearing a red dress that creased around her chest. It was to just below her knees and she was wearing a black jacket above.
She smiled at us. "Yes I am." She said and took my hand.
We all walked to the garage and got into the Volvo. Phil and Renée were sitting in the back, very quietly.
Renesmee was sitting in my lab and was humming a song.
I kissed the back of her neck and closed my eyes.
When Edward stopped the car she stopped her song and jumped out the door.
She and Edward waited for us and in silence we walked to the group of people who had all shown up to wish Charlie goodbye. Seth, Leah, Sue, Billy, Jacob and some of his colleagues.
Renée and Phil walked hand in hand behind us and talked quietly to each other.
Seth walked to us, a sad smile on his face. "Hey guys." He said and waved at Renesmee.
"Hi Seth. It's very nice of you to be here." I said and gave him a hug, not caring about his stinky scent.
He smiled. "Of course I'd be here, Bella." He said. Then he lifted Renesmee into his arms and swung her around his body.
He shook hands with Renée and Phil and together we walked to where the group was gathered.
Sue pushed Billy's wheel chair against us. She was red-eyed, but looked really pretty in her simple black dress.
Billy smiled at me. "I am so sorry, Bella." Billy said and shook my hand lightly. He took a round and said hello to everyone, giving his old friend, Renée, a hug.
Then the ceremony started.
Billy was the first one to speak. He talked about all the good things he and Charlie had done through the time and when he started crying Sue took over.
She thanked him for helping her through everything when Harry died, and talked about how him and Harry who would now join each other and go fishing again.
We all laughed when she said that, but the laughter soon turned to tears.
Then his colleagues took over. They talked about how he was at work and how good he had been at his job. They also mentioned how sad it was to lose him due to something that happened while on work.
Renée stood up then and talked about the time they were married and how happy they had been when they had gotten me.
At the end I stood up and told everyone how great a father he had been and how much he had helped me though hard times and how much I loved him.
Renesmee also told him that he was the best grandpa everyone had ever had, and now all eyes were wet.
Renée, Billy, Sue and I threw his ashes in the water and watched as some of it flew over the trees and the rest of it landed on the surface of the water, before slowly sinking.
"God bless you."
Phil's boss had called him after the funeral and they had to leave earlier than expected.
Renée apologized a lot, but I told her it probably was the best since I wouldn't be much fun the next days, or weeks, or maybe even years.
They called a cap and hour later they were gone.
"Is something wrong with us?" Alice asked when we were all sitting in the living room. "Every time someone is visiting us they leave early. Renée did when she was here last time, Sophie did, and now Renée and Phil did."
Emmett laughed. "Are you sure it's not just you? I mean, you can be a little intimidating sometimes." He said and laughed again.
"I'm not. If someone in this house is, it's you." She answered him, laughing as well.
I heard someone knock on the door and Carlisle rose up and opened it.
He gasped.
"Carlisle, what –" Edward broke off when we were all standing in front of the door.
A girl was standing in the doorway. She had very long strait blond hair, and pale skin.
"Hi, are you the Cullen family?" she asked us nervously.
I sniffed the air and recognized the weird scent. I was about to ask her, but Edward beat me there.
"You're a vampire." He said.
The girl looked up at him and nodded slowly. "I am." she said. "But you are too. Aren't you?"
"We are. But how did you know that we lived here? And what we are?" Carlisle asked her.
"I don't know, it just popped up in my head like – I don't know, but suddenly I understood all that had happened to me," she told him.
Carlisle looked up at Edward who nodded. Carlisle had told him something in his mind. "What an amazing gift." Carlisle said. "It just popped up into your head?"
"Yes." The girl said. "Did you say gift? What does that mean?"
"Why don't you come inside? We can talk in here." Carlisle said and pointed inside. She hesitated a bit but walked inside when we all did too. Awkwardly she sat down on the floor and waited for Carlisle to speak.
"Why don't you start by telling us something about yourself?" Carlisle asked and looked down at the girl.
"I'm Lucy and I'm sixteen years old. A vampire woman killed my parents. My baby brother and I saw her kill them so she came back to kill us as well. First she bit Alex and sucked his blood. I hit her and pushed her down the stairs, but she bit me right before. I don't remember anything from the changing, just the pain. So when I woke up I saw that Alex was lying on the floor and suddenly I saw something in my head. First the city name Forks, then the name Cullen, and last I saw what had happened to me. I thought that Alex was a vampire too, but he was dead. I buried him and went to find you."
"You haven't told anyone what you are, have you?" Rosalie asked the girl, Lucy.
"No, I haven't." Lucy told her.
"Good."
"Well, I promised you I would tell you about the gifts we talked about before." Carlisle started. "It's something some vampires can do, like Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future, Jasper can change people's mood, Bella can shield and Renesmee can touch a person and make them see what she wants them to. I think you can something like that, or I'm actually sure that you can."
"Cool. So what you're saying is that I can do something beyond natural?" Lucy said.
"Yes that's what I'm saying." Carlisle said and looked at Edward who nodded. Carlisle looked back at Lucy. "We would – or I would – like to invite you to stay with us."
Rosalie broke in before he even finished. "What? What're you thinking? We can't have her live here, she's newborn. She'll just ravage Seattle again and kill all the people in Forks." She shouted out.
Carlisle looked at her. "Rosalie, sometimes you have to have faith in people, even though you don't know them. They could be good." He said wisely.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but don't all vampires drink the blood of humans and, you know, kill them?" Lucy asked confused.
"We do drink blood, and all vampires do, yes. But we've learned to live on the blood of animals so that we don't kill people."
She nodded slowly. "That's nice. 'Cause I was really not looking forward to kill people. But I can't stop thinking about killing them. Is that normal?"
Carlisle laughed. "That is very normal. You are young and haven't learned to control your thirst yet, but it will come after some time."
"Okay, I have told you something about me, now it's your turn." Lucy pointed out and looked at Carlisle.
He laughed. "Okay then. I was changed in London in the mid 1660's and wouldn't kill people so at first I suffered in hunger until I found out that I could survive on the blood of animals instead of humans. In 1918 Edward was dying of the Spanish flu and I changed him. In 1921 I changed Esme and we got married." he told them and looked at Esme next to him. "In 1933 I found Rosalie dying on the ground and changed her too. Just two years later Rosalie found Emmett who had been attacked by a bear. She was afraid she would kill him and carried him all the way home and asked me to change him. And of course I did. In 1953 Alice and Jasper came along and joined the family. They were both changed by other vampires and with the help of Alice's visions she found Jasper and joined us."
That was all he would say, I could feel that. I could feel that Edward and I would have to tell our own story.
Like Lucy read my mind she asked. "What is the story about you then?" her black eyes on me.
"Well, I moved here to Forks two and a half years ago because my mother remarried and moved around a lot. I moved here to live with my father. I met Edward here and we got married." I said and looked at Edward. Tried to ask him without saying anything, to tell the rest of the story.
He smiled. "On the honeymoon Bella got pregnant. We didn't think it was possible because I was vampire and she human, but she did and Renesmee was born. Bella was dying from that so I changed her." He told them.
"So it's not possible for two vampires to have babies, but one human and one vampire can?" Lucy asked.
"Not exactly. A vampire's body can't change and a woman's body has to, to carry a child. So vampire women can't have children, but vampire men and human women can." Edward told her.
She nodded. "That really sucks. It just ruined my whole future." She said and laughed. Her expression changed. She looked at me. "Didn't you say you moved here two and a half years ago? Renesmee has to be a lot more than that. She looks like she's seven."
"Actually I am less than a year old. I was born the 10th of September last year." Renesmee said for herself.
"How is that possible? You can't be less than a year old." Lucy said.
"I am. When I was born I grew faster than normal kids. It has stopped now and I will grow normally the next ten years and then I'll stop growing like other vampires." Renesmee said.
I squeezed her hand and she reached up to touch my face. She was tired.
Edward had seen it too and stood up next to me. "She wants to sleep. We'll be back in a minute." He told them and took my hand.
Renesmee rested her head on my shoulder as we walked to our cottage in silence. She was already asleep when we walked into her room. We changed her cloths and put her down in the bed.
When we got inside again Rosalie and Emmett had left and the rest were telling Lucy about the Volturi.
"So, that's why Rosalie was furious. Because she was afraid that I would tell everyone and the Volturi would get involved with you." Lucy said.
Edward laughed. "No, she just hates it when someone gets more attention than her, and she feels you do." Edward said. "Don't worry, she'll get over it."
Lucy laughed as well. "You don't seem to like her much. I mean, you don't seem to be best friends."
"I have my reasons." He said and sat down and pulled me into his lab. He kissed the back of my neck and his sweet breath sent shivers up and down my spine.
"So, what's the difference between loving each other when you were still human and now?" Lucy asked.
"Easier," Edward said and smiled. "Other than that it's the same. We still love each other the same way."
She smiled. "So it's hard to have a vampire/human relationship?"
"At times," Edward told her. "Bella's blood smelled better to me that to everybody else, so it was extra hard for me to be around her at times."
She froze. "Blood, blood, blood…" she repeated that over and over. Like she just realized that she hadn't fed, and was very thirsty. She collapsed on the floor.
"She has to hunt now. Immediately!" Edward said and raced to her. He lifted her up by the arms and Jasper and Carlisle helped her outside.
Alice and I ran with them.
Carlisle caught a deer and bit its neck. The deer tried to get away from him, but he was too strong and lifted the bleeding neck to Lucy's mouth.
She sniffed the air and pulled her mouth to the bleeding wound. She stuck her teeth into the skin and sucked the blood.
It was finished shortly after and Carlisle put it on the ground.
"That was amazing, I've never tasted anything that good before." She said and shook their hands of her. She licked her lips and moaned. "Can we try that again? That was awesome."
This time she had to hunt the animal herself and she did. Seven times. When she felt full enough we all walked inside again.
Edward and I stayed out for a while and hunted too. I had gotten so thirsty watching Lucy drink the blood of that deer. When I had emptied two dears for blood my clothes were ruined and bloody.
Edward laughed and put his arms around me. "It's just too hilarious watching you hunt. You look so confident when you jump on the deer and like a sweet monster when you smile and stick your teeth into its neck." He said and laughing again. "And afterwards you look like a little child in a mud war."
"Very funny. You don't have to make fun of me because I'm not as perfect as you are." I said and pointed to his clean blue shirt.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cullen. What can I do to make it up to you?" he asked and smiled a seductive smile.
I forgot to breathe. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him.
When we the next morning walked to the main house I could hear Alice.
"I think you and Bella are about the same size so you can have some of her clothes." Alice said and looked at me as we entered the living room.
"I totally forgot that. I have some of my own in a bag outside." She said and ran to the door fast and came back with a suitcase. "I took everything I could find and left."
"Do you have any friends or family who you would want keep?" Carlisle asked her when she had opened the suitcase and looked through the stuff in there.
"Well, I have a boyfriend and a couple of friends who would know if I didn't come to school, no other than that will ever notice." She said and sounded a bit sad.
"You could still go to school and be with them. You could just give them a call and tell them you're on a vacation. And when you have your thirst under control you could go back to your old life. Bella's mother just visited."
"I just don't know if I want. It would be a perfect opportunity to start over as a new person." She said. "It's better if they just think I'm dead. It's so much easier."
"It's your choice, but you have to remember once it's done you can't undo it." Carlisle said. He rose up. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go to work."
She was surprised. "You have a job? How can you have a job? Don't they notice that you don't age?" she asked him.
"Well after some time they ask themselves how I can look so young for such a long time, and I think we're reaching that point now."
"So, when you look to young to be the age you act to be, do you move and start out a new place?" she asked.
"We do." he said and kissed Esme shortly before he left.