She had tutoring in the morning, but history was the last thing on Alex's mind. Dr. Linus came quietly into the library and smiled when he saw she had brought coffee. His demeanor was different: there was a strange new depth of sadness to it.
"Dr. Linus," she said, but he held up his hand, sat next to her, and looked at her intently with his odd, big eyes.
"Alex, I'm sorry for the way I left you. I'm sorry for—for everything."
"What everything is there to be sorry for? I mean, you were upset about something last night, but I suppose adults are allowed to be upset."
He smiled again, and for some reason it seemed like the first time he had ever smiled.
"Dr. Linus, what's wrong?"
"It's one of the best days and one of the worst days of my life. It's the worst because I've been remembering some horrible things that...happened and just said goodbye last night to some people who...reminded me of them. But it's the best because I have a chance to make some things right."
"What could you possibly have done that has to be made right?"
His smile was so painful she wished she hadn't asked. "I made a choice once, Alex. I made the wrong choice, and someone died. Someone I loved more than I knew. She died because of my selfishness. And recently I had the chance to make a similar choice, without even knowing it, my future or someone else's, and I made the right choice this time. It's the best day because it's the chance to make the right choices, for once in my life."
Alex sat and stared at Dr. Linus. She felt that if she just tried hard enough, she would know exactly what he was talking about. She didn't want to.
"Does this mean you're not going to stop coming over for dinner? Because I was afraid you were."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No!"
"Then I won't."
"But you can ask her out, you know."
"What?"
"My mom. It's alright. I wouldn't mind."
The strangest expression went across Dr. Linus' face. "I don't think she would want that."
"Of course she would! Don't be silly. Or shy."
He only shook his head. "While we're on the subject of asking out, young lady, what do you intend to do about Karl?"
She felt herself going red. "What about Karl?"
"I think you should ask him out."
"Dr. Linus!"
"Alex, you are a beautiful, charming, and intelligent young lady, and he is a seventeen-year-old boy with acne. How is he going to have the courage to ask you? You'll have to ask him."
"Do you think—does he like me?"
"I think he does."
Alex squealed, more loudly than appropriate for a library, and nearly threw her arms around his neck but managed to restrain herself. He gave her a smile that laid gladness along the new, deep sadness of his eyes.