)( Thank you all so much for being so patient! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and reviews are greatly appreciated! )(
It really is amazing how people change when they grow up. Friends grow apart, geeks turn into hunks, hunks turn into butterballs, and the guy you thought you'd fallen in love with turns out to just be your best friend.
Sometimes, I really try to picture if things went the way I wanted them to go way back then. It was so easy to imagine at the time, but now, all I can get is a fuzzy reception. I just can't picture them any differently now.
It's funny how back then I thought that I was so old and mature. I thought that I knew everything I needed to know to survive on my own. But you know what? I was proven wrong - a big slap of reality in the face. I was only thirteen after all, I mean, what could you expect?
If I knew about the shit I was going to go through when I stepped out that door, I probably never would have. But I did, and then I had to deal with it, and now I have to get over it because it's one of many's life lessons.
Sometimes, I don't even regret the shit I went through. Sure, it sucked ass, but it's part of what made me into the young woman I am today. It formed my character, it made me stronger, it made me street smart. I had to see the person getting ready to throw the ball so I could dive out of the way, instead of waiting until the ball was airborne.
Sometimes, I would randomly break down into tears because I honestly thought that I was going to die. I thought that if I went to sleep one night, I wouldn't wake up. I mean, I guess that is the best way to die if you're going to die at all, but the very thought freaked me out.
But while I was gone, I wasn't the only one going from a little kid to a young adult. All of my friends - well, classmates anyway, were doing a growing up of their own. Without me.
"Whatever do you think happened to her anyway?" a voice tuned into the song booming on the stereo that Jimmy had been rocking his head back and forth to.
It was Sheen. Sheen had been standing in front of the boombox all night long, switching from CD to CD, like a DJ. Carl was starting to get fed up with him because Sheen would never let the song finish before switching it to something else.
"Not whatever," Jimmy corrected, in mid-pause of a nod. "What."
"What?" Sheen grabbed the knob of the stereo and turned it down.
He was taller now, not by much though, it had only been a year and a half since Cindy had left anyway. Though Sheen continued to be a large fan of Ultra Lord, he stopped wearing the t-shirt and reciting his favorite quotes all of the time, but he did continue to wear the boxers on occasion.
Since Cindy had left, Jimmy stayed more to himself and he often remained silent or left the room when people began to talk about her. Libby moved to a different school, but had begun to hang out with Jimmy and the boys on weekends.
She was there with them tonight, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, singing the lyrics to every song that Sheen popped on.
Jimmy found himself feeling disgusted with Sheen about Cindy. He was so insympathetic, it was like Sheen didn't care that Cindy was out there on her own. Sheen would always be the first to bring up Cindy with very similar lines like, "What do you think she's doing now?" or "Do you think she's dead?", of course he would receive chilly glares when the second question was asked.
But what they really didn't know was that Sheen missed Cindy just as much as Jimmy did - or more. He just wasn't the type to show his feelings. In fact, he really didn't want Jimmy to know that he had feelings for Cindy in the first place. What kind of mess would that be?
Sheen knew that Jimmy liked Cindy, and he knew that Cindy liked Jimmy too, so why does he keep feeling this way? What was it about Cindy that made his stomach do somersaults? Why would he even bother liking her if he knew she could and probably will - if she turns back up - have a wonderful brilliant guy like Jimmy?
Sheen's no match for Jimmy! What could Sheen do that Jimmy couldn't? Sheen had fallen in love with skateboarding, and picked up the sport fairly easily after spending a few hardworking weeks on it. But Jimmy could simply invent a skateboard and become the next Tony Hawk making Sheen look like a pussy.
Seriously, the fact that Jimmy could do anything he wanted to and still have time for a girl in his life made Sheen want to just let him have her. They deserve each other. They're like, pratically destined to be together! Everybody knows that now.
So Sheen thought it best to just bottle up all his feelings and sweep it under the rug.
There's nothing special about Sheen Estevez anyway. Why would Cindy even glance his way? He's just an ordinary boy.
He really didn't know what he was going to do if Cindy showed up and started dating Jimmy. He would try his best to be normal, to not care, but jealousy is one of hardest emotions to hide. Especially for Sheen.
"You said, whatever do you think happened to her anyway?" Jimmy repeated cocking his head to the side allowing his long curl to dip down. "It's what, not whatever."
"Oh shoosh," Sheen said bitterly with a roll of his eyes. "Do you always have to correct people?"
"No, just you." Jimmy replied with a smirk, then went on more seriously. "And I hate how you bring up Cindy all the time."
"Well, what?" Sheen turned his back to the stereo. "You'd rather not talk about her at all?" Jimmy shrugged and hugged his knees against his chest.
"You guys," Carl spoke timidly from the corner of the room. "I really think we should do what my therapist suggested."
"What did your therapist suggest, Carl?" Libby wanted to know, taking a chocolate chip cookie from the cookie plate Mrs. Neutron had made for them earlier and dabbed it into her glass of milk twice before taking a bite out of it.
"He said we should move on," Carl went on. "We can't sit around, moping and let the memories of Cindy bring us down."
"But we can't forget her either!" Sheen exclaimed. "So what's the point of that?"
"I think what Carl's trying to say is," Jimmy paused for a moment as he stood, brushing some leftover cookie crumbs from hands. "We've got to stop letting this memory of Cindy pull us back. I mean look at us, guys, we're all depressed because of this. There's nothing wrong with being depressed for a time, but we really must move on. Cindy would all want us to do that."
"How would you know?" Libby demanded. "You never took the time to get to know her, Jimmy."
"Ooh, burn sucka!" Sheen laughed.
"Shut up, Sheen," Jimmy snapped. "See how this very topic is bogging us all down? Why don't we go ask my mom if she can take us to the movies or something."
"But there's nothing good to see," Carl pointed out.
"You know what that means?" Sheen snickered. "If Carl says there's nothing good that means there IS something good to see, because the only thing he considers good is stupid Llama movies!"
"Shove it, Sheen!" Carl roared. "All you used to watch was stupid Ultra Lord videos!"
"Ultra Lord is not, was not and never will be stupid!" Sheen retorted, saliva spraying from his mouth. "And at least I grew out of it! You still watch Llama Planet!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not times one hundred."
"Do too times a google!"
"Do not times a googleplex."
Sheen paused, as Carl smirked at him.
"Oh yeah? Do too times infinity!" Sheen shrieked then bounced around the room. "Oh what now? What now!"
"It's okay Carl," Libby said, patting Carl on the back comfortingly. "You'll get him next time."
The first few days with my cousin Tyson was fun.
When I woke up the first morning, Tyson had already gone to his classes. He left me a note on the kitchen counter telling me where he was and that there was leftover scrambled eggs in the fridge.
After helping myself to the ziploc bagged eggs, I took Humphrey with me to go shopping.
Not that I'd be buying much, just a couple of things Humphrey and I might need.
In the end, I wound up buying Humphrey some dog food, a bed spread, some pizza from Pizza Hut that I ate for lunch and a laundry bag. I also bought some mini pizza bites for Tyson, to show him how much I appreciate him letting me stay.
On our way back up the indoor staircase, I bumped into Tyson's downstair's neighbor and her son. Literally.
It was pratically impossible for me to see over the large brown grocery bag, so when I turned the corner I slammed into the poor woman's stomach and knocked over my groceries as well as hers. After we both apologized and helped each other pick up our stuff, she started the whole adult curiosity questions thing. You know, every adult does it.
"Nah, I'm staying with my cousin Tyson for a while," I replied after she asked if I had just moved here.
"Oh really?" the woman said, "How long do you think you will be here?"
"Who knows," I said with a mysterious smirk and a shrug of my shoulders. "I go with the wind."
By that time her son, was coming up the stairs behind her. He looked to be about fourteen or fifteen - or you know, a little older than me. His deep blue eyes remined me of Jimmy, but his spiky black hair reminded me of Sheen.
I almost laughed out loud right in the kids face, but thank God I was able to hold it back.
"Oh, there you are," said the woman to her son, placing her arm around him. He rolled his eyes and gave me a look like, help me. I rolled my eyes back at him, as if to say, know how you feel there, buddy. I might've been mistakened, but as soon as I gave him that look, I could've sworn he blushed violently and turned his gaze towards the floor.
"This is my son, Jeremy." she said with a huge smile. "He's around your age, I think. Jeremy, this is...?"
"Cindy," I said quickly putting out my hand for him to shake. He just looked at me, as if I was a random stranger that had approached him and was trying to give him a 100 dollar bill or something.
His mother glared at him. "Don't be rude, Jeremy."
"I forgot to wash my hands," he said, and whoa! was this kids voice deep or what? Damn, puberty must've hit real early for this kid, and okay, even though I still had Jimmy on my mind and all that, I had to admit that this deep voice business, was pretty damned sexy.
I put my hand down. "Thanks for the warning," I said with a slight grin.
"Jeremy!" His mother slapped him on the back of the head.
Eyeing this kid a bit more, I could tell he was one of those trouble-making kids. Kind of like a never-pay-attention-in-class jokester, like Sheen, except a little worse.
"Don't worry about him," his mom said glaring at Jeremy. "He doesn't know how to act around girls."
"Oh please," Jeremy groaned.
"Well, I better get going," I said politely with a nod of my head. "Nice to meet you ma'am," and since I thought this Jeremy kid might have gotten the hots for me, I shot him a quick wink as I said, "Nice to meet you Jeremy."
Hah! That did it. Jeremy's ears and cheeks turned bright pink as he looked down and muttered something back.
God, now I do feel like a slut. But I'm not really a slut, right? Pratically every girl flirts, so it shouldn't be so bad that I'm doing it now, right? Damn those rumors. Damn them!
Taking my groceries, Humphrey and a piece of Jeremy's heart, I turned and went up the stairs to Tyson's apartment. He's probably wondering where I've been all day, anyway.