"What's wrong?"
Turning a bit, Amanda stood behind him, wearing her brown worn jacket. Sighing he shook his head and let her inside, double bolting the door behind them.
Walking around, and looking at the lack of furniture and emptiness, Amanda turned around with a slight smile.
"Very warm and cozy."
Adam tried to smile, but felt his heart rate quicken as he leaned up against the door, sweating he took a deep breath and felt a panic attack slowly come on.
"Adam…what's wrong?"
Amanda raised an eyebrow and slowly walked towards him.
"My God, your shaking…"
Adam pressed himself up against the door and shut his eyes. Over and over again he kept seeing that puppet sitting in his leather chair and laughing through the darkness.
"Come on…sit down."
Helping him sit on the couch, Adam thought he might be having a heart attack or something. About to open his mouth and ask her to call the hospital, he leaned his head back and tried to get his breathing under control as he petted his neck and sat close beside him.
"What is it?"
Opening his eyes he saw how really beautiful she looked. Just as beautiful as she looked when he first saw her less then a few months ago standing on the stairwell. Looking at her he knew that calling Gretchen up today was an awful idea…she didn't even care what had happened to him. Seeing that no one else in his life cared what happened to him, he thought of Larry again and felt himself almost on the edge of crying. Yet again, another stranger that knew nothing about him…seemed to be one of the few millions of people on this earth that cared if he lived or died.
He missed Larry, and he knew he was slowly having a mental breakdown over what happened.
"You know those murders that have been in the paper…"
Amanda looked at him, still slowly rubbing his neck.
"The jigsaw guy…yeah?"
Adam swallowed and slowly shook his head.
"I have something to tell you Amanda…"
Two hours later, after every single last detail had been said, Adam sat beside Amanda waiting for her response. He didn't know if she would be sickened, freaked out, or even pity him. Instead she looked him over carefully with her eyes and sat Indian style on the couch. He felt so humiliated at this point…a total wash out who really didn't deserve to live. Larry was right, he was scum.
Then, a single tear fell from Amanda's face as she leaned over and hugged him. Feeling a little stiff and caught off guard from this much physical closeness, he gave her a limp hug and then pulled back looking at her face. She touched his face and sighed.
"I'm so sorry for you Adam…so sorry."
Thinking back on that faith whisperer that called to him when he was on the edge of death, he felt something almost snap inside his head as he looked at her.
"It should have been me…"
Shaking his head he told her that nothing seemed worth living for, and how he just couldn't get it out of his head.
Taking his hand, she asked him where the attack had happened. Pointing towards the closet she walked with him towards it and opened it with ease. Standing back he watched her pull the string which lit up the light bulb. The closet was empty expect for a few hangers and old sports equipment he used back in high school.
"See…nothing's there."
Sighing he slowly shook his head and nodded before she pulled the light off and softly shut the door. Turning around she still saw he was scared, walking closer he put his arms around her neck and started to shake.
"I just…don't wanna be alone tonight."
Standing on her tiptoes, she leaned in and softly kissed him on the lips.
"You won't…I swear."