Adam was awoke by the faint sounds of crying at the bottom of his bed. Cracking one eye open he stared up at his ceiling and took a deep breath. Like it was a second habit, he swung his legs off the bed and shuffled over to the baby. At the bottom of the bed was the crib that Mrs. Sawyer had bought with him second hand at the flea market last month. Bending down he picked the baby up half awake and softly patted the back of her one piece suit. Holding her up against his shoulder he tried to coo the baby as he walked through the darkness of his apartment and into the kitchen.
Grabbing a bottle, he took the half filled pan of water and dipped his finger in to test to warmth. Placing the bottom in he waited the right about of time like Mrs. Sawyer had taught him and walked slowly back and forth holding the baby.
"Shhh…it's all right daddy has you."
It had been nearly three months since Adam had begged for help from Mrs. Sawyer. He really tried to block that period of time out of his head since he had been so abusive to Laddy and had nearly killed her.
How could he had been so stupid?
He understood it wasn't the baby's fault for what had happened, and if he really couldn't handle it he shouldn't of gotten so angry at the social worker and leave like that. But so far everything seemed to slowly be taking care of itself. Mrs. Sawyer sat down that afternoon and had a very long talk with him. After breaking down and crying she hit him with the truth…he really did almost kill the baby.
He returned to the social worker's offices and told them flat out that he needed help, yet wanted to try his best to keep his daughter. He knew deep down inside he didn't want a child, nor knew how to take care of one and himself…but he needed to try.
He had screwed up so many things in his life…he couldn't mess this one up.
The thought of leaving Laddy with strangers, or just waiting till she died weighed down his stomach. He had to face fact that he got himself into this mess…and he wasn't going to neglect and throw away his last chance.
The social worker would come twice a month to check up on things. Adam looked over the programs and classes they offered and decided to finally get his stuff together. First Mrs. Sawyer told him she would be more then happy to watch and help take care of the baby whenever he was busy looking for a job. Adam thanked God that she was such a nice lady…teaching him the basic things of feeding, changing, and having the patience to take care of a newborn.
It was harder then it looked.
Adam meanwhile answered an add at a camera store just down town within walking distance. The pay wasn't that hot but he still had that three thousand in the bank from before. Thinking of maybe contacting one of the reporters that had tried striking a deal with him…he might be able to sell his story yet again to the papers, no matter how low it sounded.
Also once a month he would have to go down to the social worker's office and see what they had to offer him. Finally for the first time maybe in Adam's life he wasn't being stubborn, he had to put aside his pride and problems and start to worry about the baby.
Mrs. Sawyer stayed with the baby five days out of the week, she was retired and either stayed with the baby at his place, helping picking up, or stayed on her floor watching her soaps as the baby mostly slept. Adam insisted he paid her fifty every week.
She helped him buy clothes and things the baby would need. He knew he didn't have nearly half of the stuff you really needed for a baby, but it would just have to do. Most of the money he made went to the baby anyways. Mrs. Sawyer was nice enough to also stop by flea markets and pick up little odds and ends for the baby too. Adam became all used to the routine of the lack of sleep, and any spare moment he did have spending it with the baby.
He worked on stop drinking and abusing his pills. He had the baby on his lap or sleeping in his arms whenever he watched TV or was busy trying to clean up around the house to make things look decent. The baby so far had highchair, crib, and bouncy seat…in which Adam put her in most of the time surrounded by a nest of blankets. He used an old dresser of his as a changing table, and had a bag in which he carried most of her stuff.
The social worker gave him food stamps, and a card to a free clinic in which the baby would get it's shots and check ups at.
It seemed as if every waking moment was about her.
But for once Adam didn't mind…his life was too messed up to even think of right now.
Soon he became used to the task of changing and bathing her, the spit up and loud never ending cries. He spent his time working, and going around the house and trying his best to save money.
His next thing he wanted for her was a stroller, and maybe start looking for a daycare so Mrs. Sawyer could have a break once in a while. Other then that he was buying stuff for her and taking care of her every single spare second he had.
He also began taking photos again. He messed around mostly with a digital camera he had since he really couldn't deal with film any longer. He snapped pics of the baby every chance he got. Slowly he began feeling a protection he needed with her, and laughed whenever she did something cute or giggled up at him.
He was starting to love her.
Not even thinking about Amanda, Adam began feeding the baby and looking down at her.
He loved her…and knew this was his real chance to live.
So at age twenty-five…Adam was now a father.