"Rain."
Pairing(s)- Most likely my first Gaara-Sakura, or more commonly Gaa-Saku
Summary- "Rain, Rain, Go Away.. Come Again Another Day.. All the world is Waiting for the Sun." - And, sometimes he wonders "Why?" he just doesn't give up. He is reminded of "Why?" when he sees the colour petal pink. But, sometimes it fades.. "Just a little."
Inspired by "Rain." by Breaking Benjamin.
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Holy crap, right as I was done editing it up, I started listening to Seether - Fine Again.. and.. just wow! It fits this story like.. perfectly! Go! Go now and listen to Seether - Fine Again! Listen to it as you read this! -Nods.- It fits.
Woah, okay, so I had a heart attack about fifty times. Nine reviews for just one chapter? -Spazzes.- That's never happened to me! Yaaay! -Happy.- THANKYOU SO MUCH! Plus, I got 6 favorites, and 11 alerts!!
-Heart attack.-
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Here's the next chapter, once more, sorry if it sucks. It's late because of it seems they had some problem with uploading stories. -Nods.- Then, I had to be stupid and start adding more and screwing it up..
6,372 WORDS, PEOPLE! HAHAHA! Yaay. Almost 10,000. w00t. Or.. something 3k..
But for this chapter.. I tried to imagine what their life together would be like, and I see Gaara a lot more relaxed and easier to talk to. Yeah.. OOC. -Shootsself.-
-Hides in disgrace.- Ah, sorry, I just HAD to fit in that quote, and perhaps I shall start (either in this chapter or the next) to explain how they got together, but if it sucks.. well.. gomen nasai, I'm basically going to base their whole meeting and love stuff upon a roleplay I'm doing with someone (Gaara-Sakura, thankyou very much!).
Yes, I realize it seems to pretty much be in Sakura's P.O.V and in the next chapter I'll start doing it more in Gaara's view, though still staying in 3rd person, of course.
Starting to get angstier! Hell yeah. xD
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"All my life I tried to explain how I love myself..
To release the pain." - Orgy, 'Beautiful Disgrace.'
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"You awake yet?"
"Hn.."
"Was that a yes or a no?" A smile twitched at the edges of Dahlia lips. "I don't speak Gaaranese that well."
"Hmph. I'm glad you don't."
"You're nice today.." The pinkhaired medic jutted out her bottom lip in a pouting manner, seeming to make her face glow with innocence, not to mention a bit of seductiveness. "Feeling any better? Fever? Cold? The flu? Any sort of sickness?"
"No.." A slight edge of irritation. "Why the hell would I be sick, anyway?"
"Don't tell me you forgot what happened last night!" Green eyes narrowed in suspicion, and a sly look immediately appeared upon her expression.
Aha, bingo!
Dull aqua blue eyes narrowed as well, a pale, slim - yet muscular - form shifting within the bed as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring a strange, sudden headache that seemed to come out of no-where. A small scowl took form upon his pale lips, gaze briefly flickering from his love to his clothing, seeing he was no longer in his usual outfit, instead merely in a plain black shirt and his boxers. 'I must have been out cold for her to.. do that..' He thought in mild annoyance at his sudden realization of how vulnerable he had been. Such a fool.
He quickly shifted the blanket upon himself, pulling it a bit further up toward his head, stopping it merely at his waist. His unwavering gaze was quickly focused once more upon the pink haired kunoichi who sat upon the bed, across from where the Kazekage sat, near the end of the bed. Her lithe form was bent slightly over, quite clearly leaning toward him, her own green eyes meeting the challenging gaze of dull aqua blue eyes, a sly expression painted upon her slightly tanned face, lips pulled slightly upward into a smirk. 'A goddess..'
The pinkhaired girl was wearing nothing but a loosely fitting night-gown, that was a light petal pink colour - 'Almost like her hair..' - that covered her finely shaped, supple legs that were crossed Indian style, her head tilted just slightly to the left, pink hair slightly leaning off to the side, some falling upon her face, a few strands strewn about the side of her slightly pinkened cheeks.
She almost seemed to be mocking him, in a way, her chest slightly jutted out in his general direction, her smirk seeming to grow slightly, watching his gaze seem to study her flawless form. 'I don't deserve her.. a monster and a goddess - an angel.. In.. love. Who would have thought.. She deserves better.. But, I love her..'
"I hate you."
Sakura allowed a small giggle to slip past her lips, her smirk shifting into a small grin as she heard the redhead, and she shifted slightly, going upon all fours and crawling over beside the redhead who had uttered such cold, uncaring words that were easily brushed off by the pinkhaired girl. The medic shifted slightly, sitting beside the redhead, feeling his strong, protective arm - 'Sometimes.. overly so..' - wrap around her waist, pulling her in closer.
The medic pulled her legs up closer toward her, settling her head upon his chest, closing her eyes briefly. She was rather tired, to say the least, having stayed up all night writing a letter to Ino and simply out of pure worry over the redhead. Ha, and to think he was trying to act as if it had never happened. How laughable was that? Sighing softly to herself, she absentmindedly placed a hand upon the redhead's chest, though more near his neck, gently tracing his jawline.
If she were to ask what she was planning on asking, she'd definitely have to be careful about her choice of words, knowing that when the Kazekage did not want to talk about it and was asked about that something he wished not to speak of, his silence would usually be regarded as a silent warning, almost as fearful as one of his death glares that were more commonly seen when he had been younger, less commonly seen now a days unless he got rather mad, or to the point of anger where if he had been younger and had gotten that angry, Suna would not even exist.
She was walking upon thin ice that could crack at any slightest movement, and when it did she would fall into the iciest of waters..
Dangerous.. A new challenge. She grinned at the idea.
"Gaara..?"
No response. Typical. But, she immediately looked to his face, seeing he was looking at her, almost like he had the night before. Lifeless, glazed looking eyes... Was he.. sick?
'He had always been that.. that.. that unbelievably.. pale..in the skin.. right..?'
It was scary - she suddenly realized the feeling in her chest - scary to think that the one she truly loved, the one should would give up anything in the world for, may be slipping away from her, ever so slowly and ever so painfully. Slipping away from her grasp, beginning to be swallowed by something - '... Perhaps some sort of horrible disease that is so far undetectable..?' -, slipping away.. Being ripped from her grasp, and oh god she was losing him.. -
"Sakura?"
Oh, had he been talking? She blinked, frowning slightly. Where had her smile gone? Away, away with those horrible thoughts that had plagued her mind for those few moments. A small shudder ran through her body, causing a few strands of stray pink locks to be shifted slightly onto her face, and she closed her eyes, thusly causing emerald green eyes to be covered by her eyelids. She couldn't bear to lose Gaara, never, she had already lost Sasuke and that had almost killed her on the inside.
She couldn't lose Gaara - no, she refused to let him slip out of her grasp like she had Sasuke. She refused to let him sink back into that hardened shell of sand he had built around himself and fall back into that horrid blackness of loneliness, pain, and suffering.
No, she had definitely worked too hard to get him to accept her, and trust her with his life, not to mention the added bonus of love. Plus, she had shown to him she wasn't as worthless and as 'purposeless' - 'My ass, my purpose is, as he would say, strong. My existence will not fade.. as he would say...' - as the Kazekage had said she had been when she had first came...
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"Kazekage-sama..?"
"Hn." A small pause, and pale lips tilted downward. "It's Gaara, since you're staying here." Cold, uncaring, dull aqua blue orbs were watching her in a wary manner, slightly narrowed as they seemed to follow her every move.
Rather... disturbing.
"Hn." She seemed to mock him. "Ah, well, I'm all settled in." She said, cheerily. "I picked my bedroom and everything."
"Hmph.."
Annoying.. little ungrateful brat..
"So, Gaara-sama.." She plopped down on the couch next to the weakened Kazekage. "You have a nice house. I wish mine was as big." She attempted a conversation.
Dull aqua orbs rimmed in black narrowed a bit more.
"And, how your house is located. No neighbors, that must be nice.." She added, smiling politely.
Oh, a brat indeed!
"So, are you feeling better? Did you take those pills..? They should have helped with the pain.." She shifted the subject, watching him just as closely as he watched her.
"You know.." A deep, stable voice that could only belong to Sabaku no Gaara filled the tense silence.
Ha! Yes! He was talking!
"You're useless, here. You have no purpose as soon enough I shall be healed, and I see no reason as to why you would need to stay and help with the assassins." He spoke coldly, shifting just slightly upon his couch, seeming rather annoyed the pinkhaired kunoichi had sat by him on the couch.
Ouch. Well, wasn't he Mr. Nice..
"Well, Gaara-sama, I'm simply here to do my job." She smiled, though it was a bit forced, like the one she had on before she had punched Sai. "It's my job to heal you, ne?" She nodded slightly. "That's what I'm here for."
"Hmph. Well, then, I do hope you enjoy your stay for the.. short amount of time you'll be here." He said, the icy coldness not as detectable within his tone, and he seemed to be trying to control his annoyance toward her.
"Oh, I will, Gaara-sama." She said, cooly, moving off the couch and standing up, beginning to head over to the stairs, pausing though as she placed a foot upon the first step, looking back at him. "Though, I can leave whenever I want to. I just.. don't want to leave you."
"..."
"What I'm trying to say, Gaara-sama, is that a lot of people - ... I would be sad if something like the Akatsuki ordeal happened to you again and.." A small moment of hesitance. "And no one could bring you back.." The smile faded off of Dahlia lips.
"... Hn."
"Try to rest, Gaara-sama." With that, she headed up the stairs.
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"Sakura..? Are.. - "
"I'm fine." Sakura quickly interrupted him, snuggling into him a bit more.
She felt a grin slide onto her lips, feeling gentle - though oddly enough, rather shaky - fingers gently slide from near the corner of her eye back to her hairline, and it was quite obvious the Kazekage was removing the stray strands of her hair from her vision, more specifically moving back the strands that had shifted onto her face when she had shuddered. Wow, she must really seem like the sane one now, though she knew Gaara's behavior the previous night was completely different from how she was acting now.
She knew not why Gaara had 'zoned out' and had soon after fallen asleep, but it worried her none-the-less. She, however, had shuddered from bad memories, things she truly wished had never happened to her, though.. had they never happened, would she still have met Gaara? Would she still have fallen in love with him, saving him from his terrible realm of depression and bitter, secret hatred toward those he risked his life for?
Though, she was still sure he still held some sort of grudge against those living in Sunagakure who had shunned him when he was a child, and now were swarming around him, proclaiming his greatness, and especially the fangirls who had once told him to go die - now practically screaming their 'love' for him and swooning every time he passed. She knew it disgusted him to a point to think of how they all had considered themselves changed, thinking that he'd fall madly in love with them because they no longer mocked him.
"Gaara.."
"Hm?"
"What's.. what's going on?" She asked, softly, grin faded and gone. "With you, I mean.."
Immediately the medic felt him stiffen, go quite tense, and felt his narrowed and almost suspicious gaze upon her, his gentle and loving fingers having ceased in their action of moving hair away from her vision. Damn, she really liked that too.. But, her boyfriend's health was a hell of a lot more important than that, so she shifted her head slightly, positioning it slightly so she gazed up upon his face, her finger ceasing their actions upon tracing his jawline, and they stared at each other in tense silence.
"Nothing." It almost came out as a hiss.
So, she struck something, definitely..
"But, last night you.."
"Sakura, I do not wish to speak about this." His voice turned cold, serious, no longer holding that loving or caring tone she always heard. He never really spoke to her in such a way before, now that they were together..
"Damnit, Gaara!" Sakura pulled herself away from him, frowning in clear anger. "What the hell is wrong? You know you can tell me.. Don't you trust me? After all we've been through together, you can tell me!" She snapped, her spirit as stubborn and fierce as his.
"Sakura, I will not speak of this. Nothing is wrong with me, I was merely tired." He was now glaring at her, a silent warning for her, a silent message to her to be quiet.
"Tired my ass! No one acts like that, sleep deprived or not!"
"I'll be late if you continue to bring this foolish argument up." He said, moving to get out of bed.
"Oh, no, you are not leaving! I've already alerted the Council that you're staying home for today."
"Hmph. Well, then, won't they be surprised when they see me."
"Gaara!" One could easily tell she was losing her temper by the way her emerald eyes narrowed, and a scowl came upon her lips, pink eyebrows seeming to gain a downward tilt to them. 'What the hell did I find in this brat anyway?' Immediately, she regretted that, but she was quite angry. "You are not leaving!"
"Watch me." The redhead hissed, his own eyes narrowed into quite a nasty glare, though certainly not one of his worst.
Just as he was about to get up, Sakura immediately moved her body forward, quick hands grasping tightly onto his wrists, and she forcefully pushed them down onto the part of the pillows, forcing the Kazekage's slim form to be slammed back against the soft bedding. With precision, the Haruno moved herself upon his body, sitting comfortably upon the lower part of his stomach, somewhat near his navel, her muscled legs seeming to be straddling his hips. Sakura's slightly tanned face was hovering mere inches from Gaara's own pale, enraged face, his teeth bared out in a snarl, though that certainly did not scare the medic, having dealt with his 'grumpiness', as she would call it, before.
She leaned a bit closer, their noses almost touching, and her eyes narrowed once more as she stared directly into his dull aqua blue eyes, surprised to see he wasn't struggling. She blinked, frowning slightly. That didn't make sense.. He wasn't struggling? Usually he'd be putting up one hell of a struggle, thrashing about and trying to - without harming her - push her off, and it was those times when he struggled it made her wonder if her strength was up to par with his when he became quite angry or annoyed, though she had a guess she was still quite stronger, but he still made her wonder sometimes.
Sakura almost wanted to smirk at the position he had gotten himself into. If only he had actually listened to her and had stayed put instead of trying to go to the Administration Building and attend to his little meetings and Kazekage things. Well, certainly Sunagakure didn't need some sort of stressed filled, panicky, almost unstable - in a way - Kazekage for today. They could wait. Today, however, he was all hers. And, she was utterly determined to try to see what was wrong with him, or atleast get something out of him.
"Gaara.." She breathed, her voice all too sweet, noting how he seemed to stiffen once again, eyes narrowing even more. Well, certainly one of the nastiest glares she had ever gotten from him. "You better tell me what's wrong."
To say the least, Gaara was absolutely seething. How dare she demand to know what was wrong with him, and when he told her, not believe him? How dare she stop him from reporting to his work - to his people when they neededhim? And, how dare she pin him down in his own home and refuse to let him go? How dare she do such a thing, especially when he felt so unbearably tired and weakened, though he told himself it was simply an after effect of sleeping after going without for so long, and damn straight, he knew he was right!
'I can't deal with this anymore.. End it all.. please..'
He closed his eyes, hearing that same little voice in the back of his mind. It wasn't the Shukaku because he had been extracted, and he certainly wasn't schizophrenic.. It was his thoughts, he realized, his suppressed thoughts that had suddenly started to haunt him, plague the times when he allowed himself sleep, the images of Yashamaru's smiling face, the horrid children laughing at him as he cried, then screams.. so much screaming.
'Die monster! Go crawl in a pit and die alone! No one loves you! Go! Die, you demon!'
"All my life I tried to explain how I love myself.. To release the pain."
Sakura froze, her grip upon his wrists slackening, and she leaned back quickly upon hearing those whispered words slip from his beautifully pale lips. The words he said.. scared her quite a bit. Never before had she heard such a thing, and it make a unpleasant lurching feeling in her stomach as she gazed down at his impassive face, eyes closed, a clear frown upon his lips. Though, his eyes soon fluttered open and focused upon the pinkhaired medic, watching her with his unwavering gaze that was no longer in a glare.
"Ga.. Gaara?" She spoke, willing her slender body to move forward slightly, leaning toward the redhead's own body again. ".. Are you okay..?"
It didn't surprise her when he didn't answer, and when she felt herself being pulled toward his slightly shaking body, and pulled into a strong, needy hug. The only night she could remember him showing such.. vulnerability was when he had spoke of his past as they had sat upon his roof, and he had actually come to trust her enough to open up. He had seemed so.. weak, showing a hidden side that was like a young boy that only ever wanted a hug - someone to care for him.
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"You never tell me about yourself.." A slightly annoyed Sakura Haruno spoke up, glancing over at the Kazekage. "I told you about me."
"It isn't my fault you allow others to read you like an open book." Sabaku no Gaara mumbled.
"Open book? Yeah, right." She scoffed, "I trust you, that's why I told you."
"... Trust?" He sounded unbelieving. "You haven't been here for that long, how can you even think of trusting me, yet?"
"It's been actually quite a long time since I've been here, Gaara-sama." A small smile slipped onto her Dahlia lips. "You just.. never noticed." A slight shrug. "Besides, if Naruto trusts you, I can too, right?"
Her red clad form shifted slightly in the darkness that was only illuminated by the moonlight that covered roofs and streets, setting Sunagakure aglow with that strange, unique light only a moon would be able to produce. The large, bluish-tinted moon hung high in the sky, millions of stars seeming to surround it, though they were rather dull for some reason, almost as if they were fading. She still liked the sunsets better, though..
".. Can you?" He spoke, dull aqua orbs flicking to the right to look at her.
"Yeah." Another thoughtful shrug, "I know I can." She smiled a bit more.
"Hn." He was silent for quite some time, cold gaze shifting to the moon. "Can I.. trust you..?"
To say the least, she had felt quite surprised by his question, and looked at him with wide green eyes only to see that he wasn't looking back at her. Was.. Did he really mean that? Did he really want to know? She knew that, thanks to accidentally listening in on one of Gaara's conversations with his siblings, that trusting another was a painfully slow process for the redhead as he still had the idea that depending only upon himself instead of showing weakness and asking for help. This was.. unexpected and utterly wonderful..
"Yes." She replied, a large grin forming upon her lips. "You can trust me with your life, Gaara-sama. Despite us still being.. maybe.. strangers in your eyes. I trust you with my life and I would never allow you to die - not just because of my mission, but because I want us to be friends."
He didn't answer her, but instead she saw his head lowered, arms seeming to wrap around himself, as if giving himself a hug. When he had finally lifted his head, if not just slightly, the look in his eyes almost made her want to cry. Pain, loneliness - a almost childish look in his eyes that practically screamed of wanting something.. Love? Simple comforting words? A... hug? She blinked, smiling a bit more. She didn't feel bad for him, though, she quickly decided. No pity. She felt bad with him, she decided.
Though what he had gone through was undoubtedly worse from what she had ever gone though, and the words Naruto had whispered to her before she left rang through her mind now; "Hey, be nice to him, no matter how much of a jerk he seems. He's.. cold on the outside, sure, but he's changing, Sakura-chan." Truly, he was changing, and she was lucky enough to be watching it all first hand, and experiencing the maybe-now-not-so-cold-and-not-so-grumpy Gaara.
Quickly making up her mind, she shifted her leg slightly, pulling herself forward to the redhead, and after removing her black gloves and setting them behind her, she outstretched her slightly tanned arms, hesitant at first before she pushed herself forward and wrapped her arms tightly around the redhead, his arms having let go of his shoulders and having fallen limply to his sides. His body visibly froze, stiffening into what hugging a statue would feel like, except.. maybe a bit more warmer.
She felt herself freeze as well, feeling slow and hesitant arms wrap around her, feeling his fingers seem to dig into the fabric of her clothing and seem to hold on rather tightly, and felt herself being drawn closer to the redhead. He seemed so.. desperate for this hug, so needy for this simple human contact. It certainly was nothing out of love, only out of care and the frantic need for human contact - for a simple hug.
"I.. I trust you.."
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"I'm fine." He spoke, voice slightly muffled from having buried his head in the crook of her neck, "Just.. tired."
"Are you sure?" She soothingly rubbed his back for a moment. "You're not sick? You're.. okay?"
"I said I'm fine, Sakura." His voice came out a bit cold, and she frowned. "I love you.."
"I thought you said you hated me..?" Sakura spoke, smiling hesitantly, trying to bring back the Gaara she knew.
"Sakura, don't." She heard Gaara mutter, sounding almost pleading, though she brushed it off as a trick of her mind. "I love you."
"... I.. love you too, Gaara."
Sakura hesitantly pulled away from him once he seemed to have relaxed a little more, and noted he was watching her closely, eyes focused only upon her, and she smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, you can still trust me, you know." She said, nodding slightly as she pushed herself from the bed, watching the redhead quickly stand as well, copying her actions and moving the blanket from his way before lowering his feet to the ground and standing. A frown formed upon his lips as his dull aqua orbs looked back at his current state of clothing.
"It was necessary." The medic grinned, seeing that he was trying to ignore and deny what had happened. "Go get dressed, or stay like that. I don't care. I'll go see if breakfast is cold, yet."She grinned a little more, seeming to be trying to lighten to mood.
She turned on her heel and left, muttering something about changing later as she left the room, the indication of her leaving being the soft footsteps soon leaving his range and hearing, and then there was silence. She had left a pretty annoyed Gaara by himself. To say the least, he still felt enraged - but at himself, not at Sakura - never at Sakura. She meant to much to him, he knew. But he was such a utter fool, daring to show such weakness in front of her.
'I can trust her.. I.. just don't want her to think I'm unstable. Not again, never again. Shukaku is gone, I'm.. normal.'
He moved forward, soon quickly getting dressed into his usual outfit, gaze lingering briefly upon his Kazekage robes that hung clean and washed within the closet. It wasn't everyday he got to skip out on his usual daily duties and instead rest and be with his love - 'Who most likely is missing her work as well just to stay here.. with me. Is she really that worried? These.. these thoughts.. they're nothing, right?' - who, he noted, now seemed to be studying him carefully every time her shining emerald green eyes fell upon him ever since he had fallen asleep back at his office.
'I was just tired. I was just so tired that those thoughts came into my mind but...'
The Kazekage adjusted his clothing just slightly, quietly moving forward and turning sharply to the right, only to end up on his bathroom, facing the mirror, gazing thoughtfully as his appearance.
Pale.
The 'love' kanji seemed to stand out even more, now.. He absent mindedly moved his hand up, fingers gently sliding across his smooth, pale skin on his forehead and then upon the blood red kanji. He watched himself flinch as soon as his fingers had grazed it, and he found that the skin was just ever so slightly puffed up - and undoubtedly it was the scar he had caused himself oh-so long ago when that anguishing night had happened.
"Yashamaru.."
He leaned slightly closer to the mirror, hand dropping down to the counter that held the sink on it, feeling his fingers wrap around a razor blade before his eyes narrowed slightly, still staring at himself in the mirror.
Emotionless.
Dull, cold, impassive aqua blue eyes stared unrelentingly and mockingly back at him. Eyes - 'My eyes.. I think.. I'm.. not sure who I am anymore.. But, I'm Gaara, right?' - that contrasted greatly against the dark rings around his eyes.. His free hand seemed to repeat the action that he had done to his scar upon his forehead, and he lightly traced the blackened areas around his eyes. So damn dark.. A permanent reminder that he had once held Shukaku within him, a permanent reminder..
Loveless.
'Why? Why me..?'
Gaara moved back slightly, glancing down to the razor he held in his hand before he quickly dropped it, scowling briefly in what may have been disgust. He glanced back to the mirror, scowl fading quickly, gaze soon traveling to his hand that had once held the razor blade. The hand that had killed so many, so many people.. Just by one quick gesture of raising his hand, and creating a fist, he could remember the screams of agony as he use to crush one body part at a time as a child, watching in sick fascination as he watched some of the blood seep from the victim, from the sand, and slowly drip down to the ground..
'That's over now. I'm different.. right..?'
The redhead flexed his fingers briefly before curling his pale fingers and creating a fist before undoing his action, opening his hand and staring at his visible palm. He could practically see it now, stained with blood that slowly dripped down to the ground.. the blood of all those he had ever killed, the blood of the families he had ruthlessly slaughtered when he had been younger and Shukaku had been unbearably blood thirsty. Why did he keep thinking about these things?
'That made Mother happy... Mother, why.. haven't you spoken to me..? It's been so long..'
He knew he was different, he was trying to repent for what he had done, prove he was different, prove he was normal, that he should no longer be feared (even though he could still see quite a few frown disapprovingly at him, hiss cruel whispers to others, and quickly leave or look away when he even came relatively near).
He found himself backing into the wall, eyes still locked upon his image in the mirror. 'Monster, monster, monster...' He frowned, shaking his head slightly.
"I have come to be... my purpose is needed by Sakura, right? Love.." He blinked, frowning slightly. "I have come to be needed." He nodded again, as if trying to convince himself of such.
Though, he found himself realizing he needed a purpose to actually live, besides to protect Suna.. It was odd, he suddenly realized, how he found himself longing for another purpose - one for only himself, not others. He knew his purpose was to live to strive to protect those he cared about, to protect his village, to protect.. Sakura..
"I'm.." He hesitated. "Human.. right?"
He was met with silence, but that certainly wasn't surprising. When had their not been silence?
"I'm.. human." It sounded so strange, so.. foreign after years of convincing himself he was a sickening monster who loved only himself - a demon from hell. "I'm a normal human now. No.. Shukaku. Nothing. I'm.. all alone."
It was almost a deafening silence now.
"I'm a.. monster.." That sounded right, but he found himself so angry because of the silence that surrounded him. The silence never bothered him before, and it wasn't as if anyone was watching him. That silence had always been there, but now he found himself noticing it more and more, and it made him so angry because nothing was there to break the silence, nothing was there. Nothing.
He found himself wishing that Sakura was with him now instead of, most likely, heating up the breakfast again. He wasn't hungry, he thought, closing his eyes. It was true, he had let himself lose quite a few pounds, and undeniably he was much skinnier than before, but certainly not to an dangerous anorexia level of skinny, but he knew it was enough to scare Sakura, though he tried not to dwell on such thoughts.
'I'm not important.'
He no longer viewed himself top on his list of things to care about, no, truth be told he couldn't really find himself caring about his health anymore. So many more things, so many people that were so much more important than he could ever be, than he could ever hope to be, dream to be.. wish to be. He had to worry about the people of Sunagakure's health and safety - if any died, it was all his fault, and god knows they all blamed it upon him - solely upon him and only him -, every one of them. He had to protect and worry about Naruto's health and safety because the Uzumaki was his first friend, and damned if he'd let his friend's existence fade.
He had to worry of everything about Sakura because he loved.
'Scaring those who you care about.. so cold. The monster deserves no one to love. I deserve no one.'
"Chiyo.. damn you." He suddenly hissed, anger flaring for some reason. "Why did you have to bring me back..?" He practically snarled.
'It shouldn't have been me who suffered through all this. Why me? I didn't deserve it!'
He felt his arm raise, and just as he were about to get rid of the mirror and crush it into a thousand tiny, sharp shards - because, suddenly, he couldn't bear to look at himself any longer - he heard a noise and immediately looked to the side where the exit to the bathroom was. A certain pink haired kunoichi stood, tensely, eyes slightly widened, her usual clothing laying messily upon the bed, a few items of clothing dropped upon the floor, as if having seen what he had about done and rushed to his side.
'How long.. has she been there..?'
"Gaara.." She blinked, tears suddenly seeming to well up in her eyes. ".. Please, I'm worried."
Before he could react, he felt he push her lithe body forward and practically lunge into his slim form, tightly placing her arms around him and holding him closely to her own body, seeming to mumble something about him before pulling him a little closer, shifting slightly and burying her head in his chest, ignoring the zipper and other such things upon his clothing, her body suddenly shuddering as she began to silently cry.
"You can tell me anything. Just.. trust me, like you use too.." She whispered softly, another soft sob slipping out. How could he not tell her what he was going through? She was so worried now, so utterly desperate and confused of what to do.
Where the hell had it all gone so horribly.. wrong?
"I.. I love you, Gaara. I love you.. But.. what's wrong..?" She asked, feeling his arms quickly surround her, fingers desperately digging into the night gown she wore like he had done when first deciding he could trust her.
So.. desperate for contact.
He didn't respond.
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Ino,
... I.. just honestly don't know. Please try to get down here soon. I'm really scared for his health, mental and physical. That's it. Write back, hope you're doing good.
Truly,
Sakura H.
This was VERY crappy, I know. I am so sorry. -Shootsself.-
"I am aware, now,
Of how everything's gonna be fine..
One day.. Too late,
I'm in hell.
I am prepared now,
Seems everyone's gonna be fine...
One day, too late, just as well.." - Seether, 'Fine Again.'
DarknessinShadows - Yay! xD Thankyou for reviewing, and I'm glad you like it! Thankyouu!
Sharingan.Wonder.Girl - Aha, that's for you to find out on your own. Who knows? Maybe just average depression? Or perhaps a.. young-life-crisis? xD Who knows..? -shifty eyes- Thankyou so very much for reviewing! xD Really glad you like it! Ooh, and, I'll most likely get into what's going on with him in later chapters.. first I need to like.. get all the.. er, I dunno, 'symptoms' I guess you could call it. xD Yaay.
Tia - Thankyou so much! xD Aha, I know, but as I recall back when those issues came out my computer had died, and the library hated me, so about after two new issues after the Rescue Gaara Arc had happened, I got to read it. Lucky me, lol. Yeah, this is set after the Rescue Gaara Arc, I'm thinking maybe.. quite a few months after, or something. -Shrugs.- YES! AHAHA! GAARAxSAKURA FOREVER! They are absolutely PERFECT for each other! xDDD
HeartAngel - Wow, really, you think there's a lot of details? -Blinks.- THANKYOU! xD I dunno, I always hear that details are ultra important, so I tried to make it really descriptive, thankyouu for thinking it is! -Way too happy.- Yaay, it seems so far I've beat all the other fanfics you've read. Thankyou, once more! And, thanks for checking for any mistakes! -Nods.-
cast a spell - xD Thankyou so very much! You really think it's great? -Cheers.- Glad I could make you satisfied, hope this one is satisfying as well!
AnkukoTenma - Thankyou so very much! Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing! xD
kazter - Yay! Glad you liked it! And, in the words of my teacher, "Books and reading are very addictive, like drugs, except MUCH better!" xD Thankyou for reviewing!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Wow. o.0 That's a huuge name, lol. No wonder why you can't spell it. Yeah! GO BREAKING BENJAMIN! xDD Ah, well, one doesn't have to listen to 'Rain' to understand this story.. it's basically the song that helped to get me writing it by giving me more ideas for it. -Nods.- Aww, thankyou so very much for thinking that my stories are awesome, it truly does mean a lot! Thankyouuu so very much! x1million
Servatismaleficum - Ah, glad you liked it! And, of course (even though we're like.. strangers. -Shrugs.-) I'll listen. -Nods.- Well, I'm really glad you're alright now, and that it seems your life has been getting better. Excuse me for saying this, but people like your father should rot in hell for all eternity. What kind of sick bastard does that to his own family? I really hope he's in jail, serving a lifetime sentence, plus your foster parents most likely belong there, too! But, I'm sure that you're a hell of a lot stronger now, and you won't take anyone's crap now, ne? I really hope things start going great for you from now on.
- Gaara-Sakura. 'Gaakura.