After I Break

A/N: I've been depressed lately, sorry. Thanks to everyone who continues to read and support the stuff I make. Forgive the shortness of this chapter.

Chapter Two: More Pain

Kurt flopped down on his bed.

'God, what is happening to me?'

He had just skipped Glee practice, went home, slipped into his dad's room and carefully placed the gun back in the drawer.

'How could I be so stupid?'

He didn't even bother to change his dirty clothes nor wash off the makeup off his face.

'Did I really just want to end it all?'

Kurt buried his face into the pillow and cried. All sorts of thoughts ran through his head.

'How could I have missed? What went wrong? I should have already died. Now, Blaine knows, he thinks I've gone crazy – he'll try and stop me! I –I can't let him! I'll have to find another way to deal with this –not the gun. Some other way… Yes, that's it! But –but Blaine said he loves me, could he really care? N, that's just an act. He didn't even try to follow me home. Nope. No calls, no messages either. He's lying. Nobody cares!'

Kurt started hitting the bed with his curled up fists angrily.

'No, no, no! God! I'm feeling –I'm not crazy! What the heck is happening to me? I-I can't take this anymore!'

Kurt stood up abruptly and went into his en suite bathroom. He stared at his reflection in the mirror; his face was flushed, his eyes puffed out, his hair disheveled, his clothes, dirty –it wasn't him anymore. Kurt Hummel has been taken over by an empty shell. His face then twisted into a painful grin as he rammed his fist into the bathroom mirror.

'CRACK!'

Glass and blood splattered all over the cold tiled area. Kurt's hand hurt but he found it oddly satisfying. He then stared at his bloody hand.

"Maybe," Kurt whispered. "I really don't want the pain to go away." He brought the hand and rubbed it against his porcelain cheek. "Maybe I need more." He then looked back at his reflection in the broken glass. He smiled through the cracks. "Maybe this new me wouldn't be so bad…"

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Blaine sighed as he went up to his room. That day felt longer than usual. He set his bag down on the floor, removed his jacket and shoes and bounce on his bed. He had wanted to see Kurt or even just talk to him, but he really didn't know how to handle his broken boyfriend right now. Blaine's phone suddenly chirped. He quickly grabbed it to answer the call, expecting it to be Kurt, but to his surprise, it was somebody else.

"Hello, Sebastian?" he greeted the boy on the other line rather unenthusiastically.

'Hey Blaine, what's up?'

"Long day…" Blaine breathed. 'That and my boyfriend had just tried to commit suicide.' "By the way, did you need anything?" He asked. He wasn't really in the mood for a chit chat.

Nah, well I was just wondering if you would like to check out that new club that opens tonight –'

"Sorry, Sebastian, Kurt isn't feeling well. We will have to turn you down on that one."

'Well, just you come along then. Dave and Wes will be there. Come on it'll be fun. I'm sure your boyfriend won't miss you much for one night –'

"Well –"

'Come on, it might just be what you need.'

Blaine sighed. "O –okay, but I'll have to tell Kurt. I hate going behind his back. Sebastian laughed.

'Sure thing, boyfriend. I'll pick you up at eight.' The line went off. Blaine stared at his phone with an unreadable expression. He then proceeded to dial Kurt's number. The line rang.

"Pick up, Kurt," Blaine whispered to himself. But after eight rings, he gave up. Kurt did not want to talk to him, fine. He carefully placed his phone on his bedside table and thought about the situation. Kurt needed him. But if Kurt does not want his help, he cannot force him to it. Blaine sighed. Besides, he needed his sanity after all that had happened that day. Maybe Sebastian was right. He needed some time away from Kurt.

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A/N: Short. Sorry. I'm just not really in the zone. I promise to make it up to you in the next chapter though, thanks for reading. -Eastwoodgirl