Chapter 9: Honor in Gondor

The falling sensation jerked me out of what was apparently a sleeplike state, and, as my senses gradually returned to me, I realized that I was not falling, but rather rising. I had jolted upwards from what perhaps had been a collapse. But what met my eyes upon awakening only augmented my confusion. I did not see the cozy walls of a Hobbit hole, nor a wooden floor and round windows. Instead, I was lying on a comfortable bed, looking overhead at an azure sky. I sat up and looked around me, and once again thought the surrounding scene was reminiscent of the lands of Ithilien, the pristine Field of Cormallen, and I began to wonder whether the whole previous journey was a dream, or whether all a reality, or a strange mixture of both. Or was it that I had imagined Frodo standing beside me a mere few hours ago, and I was indeed in the lands of the deceased as I had supposed?

In attempt to answer these questions, I continued observing the extent of my surroundings, and at length, my eyes fell upon an old man, seated to my immediate left. I studied the features of the aged face closely, knowing that I recognized it from a previous date, even if I could not pinpoint it immediately. A long time I gazed at his features; when I thought I had identified him correctly, I stared in even more wonder, and thinking I could glean information from him, I spoke, though I hardly felt worthy to address a one so illustrious.

"Are you not Mithrandir, whom my people call the Gray Pilgrim? Then I must indeed be in the lands of the deceased, for I recall of how Frodo and Sam told me of how you fell in Moria."

"I am he; though now, instead of the Gray Pilgrim, I am known as Gandalf the White." It struck me then why I had not placed him more readily; there was nothing gray about him, and he was not as I had remembered. His long, straight hair, his robes, his staff, even his shoes were all white as the snow on the peak of Mount Mindolluin. "I have traveled the road of death, but I dwell in the lands of the living now. I have been called here to remain until I shall finish my work, the fruits of which shall soon be complete.

"Now you need not give an introduction on your part, for Faramir spoke of you when I arrived at Minas Tirith not a day after you departed. And Frodo has been awake this very hour and also said his share concerning you."

As I thought of Frodo, suddenly my eyes drifted to my right, and I was overjoyed to behold him there, asleep on his own bed, which was at my side. My first impulse was to rush to wake him, in order that he may tell me all that had transpired before our arrival to this place, whatever it may be, for only he and Sam were with me immediately after I lost conscious thought. But I resisted the desire. Elated as I was at the sight of him, I did not so much as breathe his name; I did not want to wake him in an untimely manner. Instead, I smiled and turned in his direction, waiting for him to awaken in his own due time.

Not a half of one hour passed before Frodo's eyes fluttered open, and, upon seeing me, his countenance brightened.

"Tallah! I was dreading the possibility that you might not wake again. But you are here, and for that my heart is glad."

"Likewise, I am glad to see you. But where are we? And what has transpired while I slept?"

"Much, and most of it I do not have the heart to tell you now, though you ought to know. When I gather the courage, you will hear all. I will withhold nothing. For now, I will say that we stand in the Field of Cormallen, in Gondor, land of your City."

I spent a few moments in silence, wondering what had become of Minas Tirith, my home. But there was a question still nearer to my heart that I much desired to ask. "What has become of our quest?"

"The quest is finished. The burden is gone, for the most part, though I still can feel it somewhat." And he clutched his left shoulder.

I shuddered. I had not even fathomed the possibility that, even after the Ring was destroyed, Frodo might still feel in part the burden that so long he bore. I had always assumed that, once the burden vanished from the face of the earth, then so would Frodo's pain, but it was not so, and once again, I began to feel as if I really never did understand. Then my heart went out to him, as did my hand, in an attempted gesture of consolation. But shakily I moved to withdraw it, for I thought that perhaps he did not want the comfort of one who had deserted him. To my surprise, he gingerly took my outstretched hand in his, and held it up as if inspecting it. Once he drew it to my attention thus, I noticed for the first time how marred it was: bent and limp at the wrist and covered halfway up the forearm with a layer of purple, which was incongruous with my relatively fair skin.

"This I did to you, Tallah, though now I repent with bitter tears. But maybe you do not remember it."

I looked into his face and saw that his eyes were moist. I was still in a disoriented state of mind, and rather than attempt to console him again, I asked, "But how was this? You say rightly; I do not remember."

Frodo sighed deeply and looked towards the ground, his expressive blue eyes filled with melancholy. "I hope that you will forgive the deed that I tell. Perhaps you remember that, in a moment of madness, I refused to perform my deed. You rightly moved to grab the Ring, but I viewed it as treachery. So, I grabbed your wrist and twisted it. It drove you to the ground. When you became oblivious, I placed my free hand around your neck while the other still clutched the Ring.

"Soon after you went limp, Sam rushed to my side, and he pulled me away. My hand flew to my sword, but then I thought of using the Ring as a weapon. In my hesitation, Sam reasoned with me.

"'See here, Mr. Frodo! Tallah's right,' he said, and hearing his voice brought me back to reason. 'You came all this way to destroy the Ring, and now you say you don't want to, but you've got to! Think what might happen otherwise to the Shire, and to everyone we know.'

"Slowly, as if I were in a daze, I returned to my senses. With a great exertion of will, I cast the Ring away forever. But it was not by my own devices that I did this. Were it not for your help and Sam's, I should have failed to fulfill my task."

"Do not speak thus. Sam was a fine companion, and ever loyal. But you ought not to speak so highly of me. As for my injury," I said, holding up my hand, "I have reaped what I sowed. I may pardon you even as you have pardoned me for my wrongdoing against you."

"I am forever grateful to you, kind Tallah. And to you, Sam." Frodo turned around, and for the first time, I noticed that Sam had since arisen and was standing a distance away, behind me. "Dear Sam! Forgive me. I have done much wrong against you."

Sam stepped forward. "There's nothing to forgive, Mr. Frodo. No other man or wizard could've carried that Ring as far as you did without falling to it. That's why Tallah and I were along, and it's a good thing she returned to show her quality." He looked at me. "Really, you did; you showed your very finest at the end. I don't know how it might have gone otherwise, and maybe I wouldn't like to know. At times it's good knowing that you can't change what's already passed."

Frodo spoke then, and his voice was full with richness in tone, but also with sadness and remorse. "You say this because you have a spotless conscience, Sam But could I say the same for my part? I wish that I had not at the end succumbed to the evils of the Ring. Yet it was so, and for this, I feel like I have failed in my mission."

"Do not say as such," I said, and I felt my voice tremble. "I am not without regrets any more than you are. But it was you who has achieved what none other could have. You carried this Thing the whole way into the enemy's very kingdom without faltering. I would that I could say that I had done so great a deed."

"Yet in a sense you have," said Frodo. "Were it not for you and Sam, I would not have even made it to the enemy's kingdom. I would have laid on the pass of Cirith Ungol and been captured by Orcs. You, Tallah, are deserving of no less honor than Sam and me."

Several protests formed in my mind concerning my error on the Morgul road, and how it lessened my worthiness greatly, but no coherent words ever formed on my lips. The Wizard at that moment walked over to where our trio stood. I stared up at him, agape, for though his manners were mild, he was somehow terrible to behold. He towered over us as a tree lords its lofty height over an ant, his garments of pure white gave him a celestial appearance, and he seemed to shine with a soft light. When he spoke, his voice was like clear music, ringing out so majestically that it could have put the voice of a King to shame.

"And honored you will be, all three of you, for the people of Gondor are overwhelmed with joy and gratitude, and indeed each of you played an equally essential role in the completion of the quest: the Ring-bearer, the servant, and the guide."

So it was that we were honored on the Field of Cormallen, in which we had lied, even that very day; citizens looked upon us with glee and shouted great praise. And as I listened, I noted that they cried something concerning i pheriannath. Having lived in Minas Tirith, I had some knowledge of the Elvish tongue and knew that this meant the Halflings. I knew, therefore, that I was being mistaken for a Hobbit, for I looked more akin to one of their kind than a mortal woman.

Amidst all the shouting, Frodo and Sam recognized one they knew, seated upon a great chair like a throne, above which flew a great black standard bearing a white, flowering tree and seven seeing-stones, in the likeness of gems white as stars. He sat proudly and held his head high, yet his eyes shined with a bright light, and he looked very kingly indeed. Clumsily, I advanced a few steps towards him as they did, unsure of what to say. But ere I had a chance to speak, he addressed me.

"Who is this one that stands so close to the Ring-bearer? Is it not the faithful one who guided him and Sam to the very Mountain of Doom?" He looked at me intensely as he spoke, and I trembled with remorse, for I knew that I was being awarded far more honor than I merited.

"It is expected of a subject to do her Lord's will," said I. "This I have done, and no more, but in all likelihood, less."

"Do not speak thus; it is but a mark of humility! Frodo has told me of your last great deed while I tended you on your sickbed; for this, my heart is full of joy to find you in good health."

"Yet no honor that you extend to me do I keep for myself. Instead, I kneel before King Elessar." This name I had heard rumored in Minas Tirith, even ere he came, and who else could this man be who looked so gentle but lordly, and who sat on the throne under the standard of Gondor?

Aside from this event, I have little memory of the ceremony, and even as it happened, I was only half-conscious at best of all that was unfolding before me. I stood as if in a stupor, listening with one ear to the acclamations being sung and shouted, and thinking in my mind that such praise was not meant for me, for I was not worthy, but rather solely for the ears of Frodo and Sam. That night, I could not bring myself to rest; I tossed and turned, and the little sleep that I did get was haunted by thoughts of unease.

We stayed long on the Field of Cormallen, and there was much joy and merrymaking. I was also presented to Frodo's cousins, and Legolas and Gimli, who had been part of the Fellowship of the Ring. And they told me all there was to tell about their quest and their adventures together as well as apart. In exchange, we told our tale of how the Ring was destroyed, and of how I came to guide Frodo and Sam through the Nameless Land.