Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki somehow found himself on the set of X-rated movie, Strictly Business. Hey, he needed the money. But the teen soon discovered he may be in for more of a challenge than anticipated when meeting his more experienced co-star, Toshiro Hitsugaya. And as Ichigo's character, Akio Morita, begins to see past the icy exterior of Yuki Takahashi—Hitsugaya's character—Ichigo finds himself relating to his character in more ways than one…How did he end up falling for that frigid child prodigy? This was supposed to stay professional!

Pairings: Ichigo/ Toshiro and other minor same-sex pairings.

WARNING: Contains profanity and strong male-on-male sexual content. Not suggested for minors (though I'm still one myself XP).

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo is the owner of Bleach, and the idea of Strictly Business is purely a result of my perver—ahem—overactive imagination. Any similarities to other media are only coincidences, as I have not watched pornography or anything of the sort myself (unless you count yaoi doujinshi).

Strictly Business

Ichigo had been molested.

By a boy.

And he'd been enjoying it.

The weight of the small body sitting so close to his growing erection was impossible to ignore, and despite his body's apparent appreciation, Ichigo himself felt sick. He felt sick because he should not have wanted the pressure to be shifted lower, but he did. He should not have wanted those suddenly too feminine seeming hands to wander further south than his stomach, but he did. He should not have wanted that tongue to resume its magical dance on his neck, but he did. He should not have wanted his fingers to explore the white tresses in his peripheral, but he did. He should not have wanted to listen to the panting in his ear all day, but he did. And he should not have been so intrigued but the pulsing heat warming his abs, but he was.

He felt dirty.

Even though it wasn't his fault—or was it? Was he at fault, for not stopping Hitsugaya's advances much sooner? For being swept away as he was by the pleasurable alien sensations that had clouded his conscience? For not being man enough to get over his sentimental mentality and for not throwing the smaller, fragile body across the room? For so easily accepting the fact that situations like this one were expected of them now, would be for a while, and would be okay?

"I approve." That was what Hitsugaya had just said. He approved. As if jumping people was simply a way to decide whether they qualified for the job.

Another heat (anger? disgust?) suddenly coursed through Ichigo's veins, flushing out the more pleasant heat of newborn lust and effectively killing the latter. It melted the invisible chains that had mysteriously shackled the teen's wrists to the floor, and his hands flew up and under Hitsugaya to roughly push the boy away. Hitsugaya did not resist and sat up, having said what he had to say, and Ichigo could finally say what he had to.

The only reason he'd been so open-minded about this whole deal was because he'd been so sure that he wouldn't be turned on by a man. When the time would come for him to arouse himself, he'd planned to do what any average guy usually did; fantasize about being with the most attractive girl he knew. But just now, Inoue's face was not what he'd been thinking about; it was Hitsugaya's tongue that had done the trick, and for the second time that day, he'd betrayed his self. Still, it was a lot easier to direct that frustration at Hitsugaya, who'd managed to take him off guard so easily, than to agonize over his own sexuality.

"Mind telling me what the hell that was about just now?" Ichigo demanded. Now that his mind was clear, his voice was back.

Hitsugaya blinked, trying to refocus on Kurosaki's face. Despite being able to once again think with his bigger head, his need was still pressed closely against the strawberry's body, and it tested his regained control. It was only with the years of practice that he managed to speak evenly as he replied, "I already told you. I assess every person in your position, Kurosaki."

"What kind of 'assessment' involves molesting people?" Kurosaki asked, scowling. "You can't just attack everybody you meet like that."

"I did not 'attack' you." Hitsugaya scowled as well. His doctor often told him the same thing, and it had begun to annoy him. It's not like there was a cure for his addiction…at least, not that he knew of. "And I had assumed that Urahara warned you about the compatibility tests we perform here."

"…The hell are you talking about?" Dumbly, Kurosaki looked up at him.

"I already told you we'll have to get to know each other's body." Hitsugaya said, and his erection throbbed dully, but he ignored it. Or at least tried to. "The cast members here are given enough time to familiarize themselves with their assigned partners, so that there is minimal discomfort on set. It always begins with the initial assessment, and because of your…unique contract, your say does not matter right now.

"I have given you my approval. So you are now, officially, considered my co-star."

Ichigo was quiet; still. And then suddenly, he sat up, nearly head butting Hitsugaya, who was consequentially in his lap now—his legs unfolded and settled around Ichigo's waist. He grabbed the collar of the boy's golf shirt. "What do you mean my say does not matter?" he demanded. "Urahara told me that I wouldn't be forced to do anything I didn't want to do."

"'Anything you couldn't handle…'"

"What?"

The boy had squeezed his eyes shut and flinched when Ichigo grabbed his collar. When he spoke, Ichigo could barely hear the strained whisper. "What did you say?" Ichigo asked firmly, pulling Hitsugaya an inch closer to hear him better (not because he enjoyed having the boy's face so close). But Hitsugaya cringed as if Ichigo had hurt him, or was going to. He mouthed something else but again, Ichigo couldn't understand. "What?"

"I said let go of me!" It was not quite a whimper, but it was certainly a lot like a stressed plea.

Ichigo blinked, feeling a small pang of guilt: Hitsugaya was just a kid after all (or so he thought), and Ichigo would never harm a child intentionally.

"I'm not…going to hurt you." Ichigo said in a hesitantly softer tone, loosening his grip on Hitsugaya's shirt. He tried not to consider how long that claim would hold true, for surely having sex (he almost cringed at the thought) would involve some pain for the smaller male. But even then, Ichigo would try to be gentle. Despite the reassurance, though, the pained expression remained on the white haired male's face. Ichigo was confused by this and removed his hand, accidentally brushing Hitsugaya's neck, which was exposed by the shirt collar's design. "Didn't you hear me? I said I—"

Hitsugaya suddenly gasped.

In this provoked state, every inch of Hitsugaya's body was hypersensitive, his bare skin highly receptive. When Kurosaki had sat up, Hitsugaya's erection was once again sandwiched in between their bodies, except impossibly closer in this new position. He'd been dangling by the last few strands of good judgment (it was such a wonderful sensation…) when Kurosaki did the worst thing possible and made contact with his already-sensitive neck. Just minutes after regaining access to it, Hitsugaya's conscience was involuntarily shot to Hell once more. As were any concerns about being late for the meeting.

Hitsugaya's hands raced up to grip Kurosaki's naked shoulders. He leaned his head forward, panting, and rested it against the orangette's collarbone. Of their own volition, his petite hips rolled and his hardness was grinded against the larger male's body.

Sweet, sweet friction. Liquid fire in his groin.

"Nngh—!"

The trapped moan ached in the back of his throat. This was exactly what he had hoped wouldn't happen. What he'd been advised to avoid. But at the same time, it was exactly what he wanted. Yes. He needed this. He needed more. He pressed forward again, harder this time, crushing his member between their bodies in a way that surely would've been painful to anyone else. But to him, "Ah…" it felt…it felt…

"A-ah~!"

The third time, he raised his head and arched his back into the strawberry's solid form, gripping the broad shoulders tighter; more desperately. It was so hot. He was going to explode. If Kurosaki didn't take him now…if he didn't take him now…

He couldn't think as he grinded against the man again. Mmm… The dragon was very happy.

Ichigo could only gape. Just tying Hitsugaya's gasps and rumbling moans together with the shifting pressure he felt around his waist, Ichigo struggled to accept the fact that Hitsugaya was…basically humping him. It should have repulsed him. It would happen repulsed him…if only Hitsugaya hadn't chose that moment to raise his head, and Ichigo was given a shocking view of his face.

Hitsugaya's pale skin was flushed, and Ichigo had only seen such a deep color a few times in his father's clinic—a fatal fever. Hitsugaya's lips were parted, the source of the boy's panted "hah"s, and they looked strangely edible, and Ichigo was made aware of just how close the boy's face was. Hitsugaya's eyes were hooded and framed by long, thick black eyelashes that Ichigo had never seen before, not even on a girl, and this time he had no doubt that the teal color was darkened with lust. With need. Ichigo suddenly wanted to tell Hitsugaya right then that he possessed very beautiful eyes…and that as the highlight of the boy's face, his expression as a whole was very alluring….

The strawberry felt two legs constrict again around his waist, accompanied by the sound of Hitsugaya's sharp intake of breath, and Ichigo suddenly wasn't sure if he should really stop the actor. The grip on his shoulders seemed too desperate, as did Hitsugaya's entire appearance scream the word, and Ichigo got the impression that even if he tried to pry Hitsugaya off of him, the boy would cling to him with that same silent plea. If he spoke, Hitsugaya probably wouldn't even hear him. Ichigo couldn't help but feel that, by putting himself in this position, he'd pretty much invited Hitsugaya to do what he was doing now. This was his fault: it was his fault that Hitsugaya was panting and looking at him so seductively.

It was his fault that he was being aroused again by the friction of Hitsugaya's bottom on his penis.

"Ku…nn…Kurosaki…" Hitsugaya couldn't hold in the moan this time. He felt it, just barely poking against his clothed entrance, and he badly wanted to impale himself on it right now. He grinded against Kurosaki, biting his bottom lip to contain the rising mewls of pleasure, and wrapped his arms around the orangette's shoulders to pull him ever-closer. Oh…nn…nnn!

Ichigo barely breathed. No, this was not happening. This wasn't turning him on. He was not feeling a bit tingly from the way Hitsugaya drawled his name, the way his heat scraped teasingly over his…oh god, why wasn't he stopping this?

Hitsugaya's face was by his ear now, and he could hear clear the small sounds that were suspiciously like a begging kitten. Ichigo swallowed, unable to stop the blush and unable to think of anything that he could say or do in response. His hands were useless, hovering by Hitsugaya's sides as his mind wanted to throw the boy off while his body wanted to push up against the tempting heat of the boy's bum. He was not gay, damn it, he was not gay. He was not attracted to men; he was not attracted to this boy. Hitsugaya's smaller body should not have fit so well around his.

Maybe, if Ichigo just stayed very still and very quiet, this would all go away. That's what he told himself. But Hitsugaya's raping of his stomach was all too vivid, and for the second time that day, his body was betraying him by reacting to Hitsugaya's administrations.

"Is this also a part of the…initial assessment?" Ichigo wondered aloud with forced apathy, berating himself for the involuntary erection.

Hitsugaya only arched further and cried out in response. He was too lost in the heat and the sensation and the sheer ecstasy of having this perfectly perfect body as his newest…humping post. (And the friction…oh yes, the friction…He hissed.)

So Ichigo knew right away that the voice was not from the boy so far gone in his lap.

"Um…excuse me?"

Ichigo flinched. Hitsugaya, who didn't seem to notice, kept on pleasuring himself against the strawberry. But Ichigo had clearly heard what sounded like a little girl's voice coming from behind him, and he immediately craned his head to the left to look over his shoulder—still all too aware of his growing desire.

Shit. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Standing there in the open doorway of the lounge was a girl who couldn't be that much older than Karin. Her long black hair was parted down the middle with an odd sort of bang splitting her face in half at the bridge of her nose. She wore a white t-shirt and a pink and white polka-dotted skirt that reached to her knees, along with sandals on her feet. She was holding something in her hands, but Ichigo was too distracted by her sad looking purple eyes to notice what is was.

Those eyes. They were looking at him and Hitsugaya, one dry-humping the other, who was stark naked.

Ichigo's mind raced and he anxiously grabbed Hitsugaya's waist, stilling the male's movements none too gently and earning a half-pained, half-annoyed whine. Ichigo ignored him, suddenly even more sick than what he'd felt before. "We can…" he started, panic-eyed. "I can explain. We…this isn't what it looks like!"

What it looked like: Ichigo with his hands on Hitsugaya's waist. Ichigo nude, Hitsugaya clothed. Hitsugaya, wrapped around Ichigo, somehow more obviously aroused than Ichigo, whose erection was out for the world to see. Ichigo, making no move to throw off the smaller boy even though he was clearly stronger; Ichigo allowing this.

It was exactly what it looked like.

"We weren't…I mean, I wasn't doing anything!" Ichigo quickly assured the girl, and how pathetically true it was. "He was…we were…look; this is just a big misunderstanding. You have to understand this isn't …uh…!"

The girl just stared at Ichigo with that sad expression.

Ichigo's heart pounded, knowing he must've scarred the girl. What did he look like, a big seventeen year old in this position with a boy who had to be her age? A pervert, that's what. No matter what he rightfully accused Hitsugaya of, he would be the one labeled as a pedophile when taken to court. He would be the one facing charges and probably thrown in jail for life for being an alleged menace to society who preyed on small, unsuspecting children. He would, from then on, be considered the big brother and son who suddenly went bad and roamed the streets and oh how horrible and how could this have happened. He would be the one to let down his loved ones to whom he'd sworn his life to protect. All because nobody would believe that Hitsugaya could possess such a libido.

Said white haired boy blinked blearily, wondering why the rush had stopped and cursing whoever dared to interrupt his much needed relief. Turquoise eyes wandered lazily, looking for something through the fog to focus on, before he felt the rumble in the throat pressed against his ear. The strawberry…Kurosaki…he was speaking. Hitsugaya hummed in recognition and nuzzled the teen's neck, trying to move against his body again. The man's large hands felt rather nice holding his waist like that…. Kurosaki's head was turned away, thus giving Hitsugaya perfect access to mouth his neck.

"Damn it, would you stop that?" Ichigo all but shrieked, briefly turning his attention back to the very horny Hitsugaya, who was not making this situation better seeming at all.

The girl also turned her attention to the actor, who was facing her. She could feel the familiar energy rolling off of him in waves, but it was much, much stronger than what she'd ever remembered it being. It was a good thing her boss had sent her when he did.

"Sorry to interrupt, Hitsugaya-san." The girl said timidly, not entirely sure if he was even aware of her presence or not. "But Urahara-san thought it was a good time to give you your candy. He said to remind you about the cast meeting."

Ichigo craned his neck around to look at her again, wishing Hitsugaya would stop and yet loving the tickle at the same time. Simultaneously, she turned her eyes back to him, and eye contact was reestablished. Despite the heat being shared between Hitsugaya and him, he felt goose-bumps rise on his arms and he was afraid that the girl would now run away screaming rape…

Instead, she bowed. "You must be Kurosaki-san. My name is Ururu." She introduced in the same meek voice. "Please make sure Hitsugaya-san eats this; it will calm him down." And with that, she entered the room, approaching the two who were in such a suggestive position. She didn't even seem to notice that Ichigo was completely naked as she set something down beside him on the rug. Then, she turned her head and smiled sadly at Ichigo, who was gaping at her incredulously, before straightening up and calmly exiting the room.

Ichigo was thrown. What had just happened? Something about candy…? He glanced down at what the girl—Ururu?—had set down beside him. It was a glass jar. Sticking out of the jar was a bouquet of, what appeared to be, several odd looking shapes on sticks. It wasn't until Hitsugaya stroked him with his tongue that he put two and two together and realized the things were lollipops. Urahara had sent something else for the actor to lick on. Thank you!

Before he allowed himself to once again fall victim to Hitsugaya's talent, Ichigo shoved his hands in between them and pushed the boy to gain some sort of distance. Hitsugaya blinked in obvious confusion and mild irritation, unwilling to completely let go of the former. Ichigo reached down to pluck up one of the lollipops and held it up between their faces in one hand, keeping Hitsugaya back with the other. This lollipop was ironically shaped like an upside-down strawberry, but Ichigo was too focused to bother to choose another.

Hitsugaya blinked again, his eyes still hooded and dark. The heat had made its way to his brain, making everything seem warm and fuzzy, and all he comprehended was the seventeen year-old's face so close and blushing. Hitsugaya licked his lips, remembering the taste of the bare skin pressed up against his body, and he very much wanted to eat Kurosaki's face…but when he tried to lean forward to do so, he couldn't move. Something was pushing on his chest, preventing him from closing that small gap, and he was distantly annoyed. He made a sound of protest and thrust his hips again, turning the small whine into a content hum. But then that weight was pushing against his chest again.

"No." Ichigo said firmly; simply. He couldn't help that Hitsugaya looked every bit as much as a needy kitten and unconsciously made him want to treat the smaller as such. He waved the lollipop in Hitsugaya's face. "Look. Here, see?"

In his high, Hitsugaya went crossed eyed as he tried to make sense of the vaguely familiar shape between his and Kurosaki's face. Typically, he wouldn't have cared. But if this man wouldn't let him have what he wanted until he focused on the thing, well…

Still, Ichigo could see that the white-haired didn't get it. He sighed. It looked like he had to take the pet approach after all. "Treat," he said, waving the lollipop again. "You, eat. See?" and he licked the red candy once himself. "Now you." He truly felt idiotic.

But apparently the notion of licking was a trigger and Hitsugaya slowly but obediently did as he was told. The taste was…different than that of the strawberry he'd been licking. This actually tasted like strawberry. It was familiar nonetheless and offered something for his tongue to do, so he happily lapped at the candy, a kitten indeed.

Ichigo's shoulders sagged in relief as, the more Hitsugaya licked at the candy, the arms around his shoulders slackened. Pale hands un-snaked from around Ichigo's neck and Hitsugaya took the lollipop for himself, sucking on it with a growing concentration. The legs clenched so tightly around Ichigo's waist gradually relaxed as well, and Ichigo could still feel the heat of Hitsugaya's erection, but at least it was no longer flush up against his bare abdomen. The teen felt his own painfully hard erection, though, and thought that maybe watching Hitsugaya closely as he sucked on the lollipop wasn't such a good idea.

The medicine was already starting to kick in: Hitsugaya suddenly found that he didn't feel as free and blissful anymore. The chemicals counteracted against the pleasurable hormones of lust, and they seemed to freeze the hot blood that coursed to his erection, stopping the flames in their path. Hitsugaya blinked, wondering why he couldn't see anything lucidly, and his scowl slowly returned. He was…uncomfortable. He was too hot, and with the poison in his system, it was not a welcomed heat. He wanted to get away from it but…something was holding him in place. He felt trapped. He just couldn't figure it out, and all too quickly, he'd finished the lollipop. He withdrew the thin stick from his mouth and reached blindly for another, but he didn't know where they were. Did he usually need more than one?

Ichigo noticed the way Hitsugaya's panting had, miraculously, all but stopped, and he wasn't sure if he should be relieved or mourn its absence. The boy's eyes were beginning to look more focused, but they darted about, as if he was looking for something. Ichigo, taking a wild guess, reached for another lollipop and offered it. This one was a simple sphere with swirls of orange and white. "Here."

Hitsugaya, more quickly this time, accepted the candy and went to sucking on it. It tasted like orange and cream sherbet, smooth on his tongue. The drug took effect even sooner this time, and his eyes hurt as his vision returned with startling clarity. He finally realized why he felt trapped. He scowled deeper, eyebrows furrowing.

"Why are you so close, Kurosaki?"

"Huh? Oh, because…" Ichigo frowned and thought about the annoyed question. It took all of five seconds for it to dawn on him: "Wait, what? You…! You were the one who was...!" he couldn't even form a coherent exclamation.

He was embarrassed, mostly, and slightly angry at himself. He thought about what that girl had said, about how Urahara had sent her with the "candy"—the candy that was obviously responsible for Hitsugaya's sudden mood change—and wondered what he would have done if she hadn't shown up. Would he have just let the smaller male do whatever he pleased simply because he couldn't deny that pleading expression? Would he have just given in and actually enjoyed himself, since apparently what he wanted didn't matter? Would they have both ended up naked, one thing leading to another and then…?

"Calm down, Kurosaki. The assessment is finished." Hitsugaya sighed heavily and moved to stand even as he spoke. Kurosaki looked positively horrified. With the medicine doing what it was created to do, Hitsugaya could truly think clearly for the first time since Kurosaki began to strip (even when, ironically, he was this close to the naked strawberry).The dragon was suddenly unnaturally docile, and as usual, Hitsugaya felt empty now that his hunger was sedated.

He felt nothing.

Ichigo was frozen as Hitsugaya moved, putting his hands on his shoulders. But the smaller simply used him as support to get to his feet, not even looking at him as he bent to retrieve the jar of lollipops and kept walking. As soon as Ichigo caught up, he twisted his upper body just in time to see Hitsugaya reach the door.

"Hey, wait a second. Where are you going?" He was wide eyed, still paranoid about Ururu bringing back the police. Plus, how could Hitsugaya just…just leave after what just happened?

"To the meeting," Hitsugaya said evenly, pausing in the doorway but not looking back. "As you should be. Put your clothes on, Kurosaki, and be in the conference room in ten minutes."

With that, he left. Ichigo almost considered going after him, asking if the kid was legally bipolar, but then his words sunk in and Ichigo was scrambling to get his clothes back on. He scowled at his lingering erection, which wasn't disappearing nearly as quickly as he'd hoped. His mind unhelpfully replayed the whole ordeal, which began with the kid pouncing on him, and he was reminded about the spilled water. Sighing tiredly, he went to find something to mop up the mess, once again wondering why he'd taken this job.

Oh yeah. The money.

The conference room was impressive. The four walls were painted white and the carpet was black, reminding Ichigo of the hallway leading to Urahara's shop. The eggshell-white table at the center of the room was long and T-shaped, a black line running along the center to emphasize the "T". The chairs around the table had curved backs and were the same off-white with black embroidery. Similarly designed chairs lined the perimeter of the room. The only colors that popped out, besides the clothing of the people in the room, were the large framed posters of previously released movies, and the bright red love seat that popped out from the corner. But most striking of all was the completely glass ceiling, illuminating the reflective white walls with ten o'clock sunshine.

Ichigo hesitated in the doorway, feeling more than slightly uncomfortable, but nobody seemed to know he existed. He couldn't tell how many people were in the room or how many seats there were, and he wasn't sure where he was supposed to sit. He just prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn't end up next to Hitsugaya. His brown eyes scanned the room, searching for the unmistakable white of the boy's hair, and he thought he'd found it a few times, but it was only the white walls in his periphery. Where was the kid?

"Hey, it's the kid!"

Ichigo turned his head just before he was caught in a headlock, "ack!", and he couldn't tell who the perpetrator was. But he found himself staring down at a pair of lightweight brown shoes.

"So you decided to show up, huh? I knew you would." Ichigo slowly recognized the powerful feminine voice as a hand ruffled his orange hair without mercy. Surprisingly, he didn't struggle. "How'd you like the assessment?" the female continued, sounding amused. "I heard Hitsugaya needed a jar of lollipops this time. Man, that kid is hopeless."

"Uh…Hi, Shihouin-san." Ichigo greeted halfheartedly, trying to mask his hurt pride. First a child, and now a woman: his nature prevented him from defending himself against either of them. Was he a punk? "Um…could I please have my head back?"

"Not unless you drop the formal crap." The woman said, suddenly very serious and mildly annoyed. "I told you before to call me Yoruichi."

"R…right. Yoruichi. Could I have my head back?"

Yoruichi Shihouin grinned and immediately relinquished her shockingly strong grip on the teen's neck. Ichigo straightened up and rubbed it, wincing at how much stiffer the muscles were. (He really wished this day was over so that he could take a long, hot shower and go to bed. He hadn't gotten much sleep lately, and the stress was piling up to become too heavy of a load on his shoulders.) Then Ichigo turned to see the woman properly.

She, like Urahara, had undergone a major costume change since seeing her at the interview. Instead of an intimidating yet very sophisticated and chic business suit of all black, she now sported an eye-catching orange shirt over a black undershirt. There were two white straps on each of her shoulders, a large beige sash around her waist, and matching wrist and leg warmers tied with purple straps. She wore black stretch pants, and altogether looked like some kind of stealth squad leader (especially with the way she'd just surprised Ichigo). Yoruichi was actually a very beautiful woman whose melanin was that of a queen or goddess; her long, pony-tailed hair was the royal color purple, and her eyes were bright gold. Her figure was also something to be noted.

Not wanting to be accused of checking her out, as he had been with Urahara, Ichigo quickly returned his gaze to her face. She was still grinning like the Cheshire cat with a knowing twinkle in her eye. But Ichigo wasn't sure if she'd caught his wandering eyes, or if she was anticipating the answer to her previous question: how did he like the assessment?

"The…assessment…" Ichigo rubbed the back of his head, looking somewhere down the hall to avoid eye contact as he answered in the most controlled way he knew how. "It was…it was different…."

Yoruichi scrutinized him then, perhaps noticing the slight blush that he was fighting so hard to keep down as he felt the ghost of Hitsugaya's breath on his neck. Then she laughed—a hearty sound. She clapped him on the back, fortunately snapping out of his reverie. "Well, different is good. Would've been worried if he couldn't loosen you up."

"What do you mean?"

"Hey, Grimmjow!" Yoruichi called loudly, suddenly switching her attention to the bustling in the room. Ichigo felt annoyed at being ignored, but was then mildly curious when Yoruichi mutter-shouted, "Where is that pussy cat? Grimmjow! Where's my money?"

"What?" was the equally loud response from somewhere in the crowd easily heard over the other noise. "Bitch! I don't owe you jack!"

Yoruichi snapped toward the sound, as did Ichigo when a shock of powder blue hair appeared. The man was leaning precariously back in his chair, sneering at Yoruichi from across the room through a gap in bodies.

"Don't give me that, Jaegerjaquez." Yoruichi reproached, moving to cross the room. "I warned you not to play games with me. Now pay up."

"Look lady," Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez leered. "If you ask me, that game was rigged. You all are always framing me! I mean I know I'm one irresistible ass but…"

"Oh, shut up, idiot." Somebody else spoke up. A guy. "You still owe me from last week!"

"And me from a month ago!" Another guy. A few more spoke up after him.

"Oi!" Grimmjow shouted at them all. "You all can shut up and suck it, okay? 'Cause you know you want to. Now get off my…hey!"

Yoruichi truly was some kind of ninja: she'd pick-pocketed the bluenette for his wallet and was now shuffling through a wad of banknotes. "Hm," she said curiously, smiling wickedly. "It seems you've been around a bit since I last checked. Where'd you go last night, fur ball? I'll have to come next time."

Grimmjow slammed his chair back down on the ground and jumped out of it, lunging at Yoruichi for his money. People were getting out of the way of the blue fury, and Ichigo could now see what the guy was wearing. Deep blue jeans emphasized his long legs and, over a cream button up whose undone top buttons revealed a tan chest, he wore a black and gold jacket ornamented by various patches. His sleeves were pushed up to bare his forearms, and on his feet were deep brown loafers. Ichigo was sure that the man worked each morning to gel his hair in that intricately wavy way, and to apply the green marks just beneath his eyes like so. With his appearance and current behavior, which reminded Ichigo of his friends at school, Grimmjow came off as a guy to be weary of.

But that didn't deter the fearless Yoruichi, who now effortlessly leapt up onto the conference table to get out of Grimmjow's reach, holding the wallet high above her head.

"What is it with you men?" Yoruichi chuckled, her other hand on her hip as she looked down at the amused crowd. "A little girl is able to steal your things so easily…you make it easy really. I mean, I already know most of you are 'easy' in that sense but really…." she laughed and jumped as Grimmjow made a swipe at her ankle.

Ichigo was still standing there by the door, unsure of what he was supposed to do. Wasn't the meeting supposed to start in…five minutes ago? The strawberry rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, watching as the cursing blue haired began to climb onto the table. Where was Urahara?

"Now, now, Yoruichi-san," Ichigo stiffened when said sandal-hat appeared out of nowhere and placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see the director smiling, his eyes hidden by his hat's shadow. Several people also turned their attention to the door, some casting glances at Ichigo as if just noticing him there. Urahara continued.

"Let's get this meeting over with and then we can have some fun, 'kay~?"

Yoruichi had let Grimmjow wrestle her to the tabletop (Ichigo knew it had to be an allowance on Yoruichi's part, for surely she couldn't have been defeated so easily), only to flip the two of them over. She was now straddling Grimmjow's chest, pinning his arms to the table with her knees despite his thrashing. Seeing Kisuke next to Ichigo, she abruptly "hmph"ed and slipped Grimmjow's wallet back into his pocket. Then she nimbly climbed off and settled into the nearest chair, folding her arms over her chest. She scowled a bit. "You took too long, Kisuke."

"I apologize; I had some things to attend to." Urahara replied, and Yoruichi arched a thin purple eyebrow, seeming to understand whatever it was he wasn't saying aloud.

Ichigo watched as people scrambled to take their seats as if by some silent command, and was slightly surprised to see Grimmjow take his original seat, right next to the one Yoruichi was sitting in, without complaint. Grimmjow didn't look up, taking out his wallet to count his money, but it seemed that everyone else was now staring at Ichigo. Why did he feel like everybody was doing that nowadays? His thoughts briefly flashed to Hitsugaya and then, suddenly, there he was.

With his beautiful turquoise glare and a lollipop in his mouth.

He was sitting at the head of the "T", on the farthest right of three chairs. The other two were empty, and they were the only two unoccupied seats in the room. Even the love seat was taken by the little girl, Ururu, and a young boy with spiked red hair whom Ichigo hadn't seen before. This meant that Ichigo would either sit right next to the seemingly innocent Hitsugaya, or right next to the perverted director.

Ignoring the eyes roving across his body, including Hitsugaya's—he had to think before remembering he was not naked—Ichigo wordlessly rounded the table and sat in the latter position, leaving the one seat as a buffer between him and the white haired.

Kisuke watched, hiding his smile behind his paper fan. Then, he expanded his attention to the rest of his audience, who gradually shifted their attention to him instead of the Virgin.

"Alright," the former government official began, not bothering to close the doors behind him, and moved further into the room to address his beloved cast and crew. Ichigo forced his eyes to stay trained on the director, rather than the boy less than two meters to his left. He just couldn't forget the feeling of that tongue—the one slowly licking another strawberry lollipop as if it knew Ichigo was stealing glances—on his skin. He scooted his chair closer to the table to hide his already budding arousal. "Ah…Ku…nn…Kurosaki…a-ah~" Ichigo groaned inwardly.

"Let's begin, shall we?"

The end would not come quickly enough.

A/N: I had a tough time debating whether I should use this version, as I'd written the beginning a few different ways—with and without humping—but I finally decided that Hitsugaya couldn't just stop on the fly after all. Besides, I think the idea of Urahara's mysterious Lollipops will play well into the story later. If this chapter seemed rushed, it's because it was supposed to.

Okay, I forgot to do this last chapter somehow, but this chapter is dedicated to the people whose lives have been made happier by the Gay Marriage act passed in New York State. As I live in NY, I wanted to do this specially!

Also, I'd like to thank the reviewerss of the first two chapters, who have indulged me in my addiction (if you read the last A/N, you'd know what I'm talking about ;D ). SillyWQ, xTKx, Inkata, S.S, Scarlett Foxie, yumi-2121331, Espadascream, kz109, and Kyon-neko…You all deserve strawberry lollipops~ Hope I didn't disappoint you. Constructive criticism please!

This chapter is titled after the song "I Caught Myself" by Paramore, whose lyrics I wasn't able to include because it didn't fit as I thought it would. I'll squeeze it in somewhere later, but you should really listen to it now, as the lyrics are themed for Ichigo's thoughts about Hitsugaya's hump-face.

And no, this story will NOT be all about smut. I have other big things planned for this story. BIG THINGS…

~Besides Ichi's penis, of course, because that's a definite. 'Taku786 ^^