After a long 24 year wait, here is the next part.

Part Nine - Second Thoughts, Endless Tears - Fai POV

Not only were my parents oblivious to homosexuality, they were also horrible lie detectors. I told them that it was all a test, just to see what they would say if I actually was gay, and I told them that Kurogane was just a close "special friend" who lived nearby who agreed to help me pull the whole thing off. My parents awkwardly apologized, thinking that they had just been tricked very well. We didn't speak again until dinner. During those few hours, I gave Kurogane his things, and then I cried myself into a nap.

I didn't want to do it. I had no desire to leave Kurogane. I had no desire to be straight. All I wanted was for my parents to love me and accept that Kurogane and I loved each other. Well… at least I think we did.

Sure, we haven't been together that long, only about three months, but I couldn't help but feel deeply for that guy. To put it quite simply, I loved Kurogane with everything I had in me. Now, I didn't know how strongly he felt for me, but I knew he at least liked me, seeing how upset he got when I told him I couldn't be with him anymore. But I knew I loved him. I was in love with him. But I couldn't be, because of my parents. So the sooner I stopped thinking about Kurogane, the easier things would be for me.

I wondered how Kurogane was taking the break up. I tried to convince myself that he would be alright, and that he didn't need me, and that he would easily find someone else. Like my mom had said, who wouldn't want to be with Kurogane? But when I tried to tell myself that he didn't want to be with me, the only reasonable reason that he might not want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him was the absence of any verbal love confession. Now, I know Kurogane is more of an action speaker, but nothing at all? Really? Yes, really.

Get over him, Fai. You're straight now, and he doesn't love you.

~v.v~

During dinner, I merely played with my food, taking a bite every few minutes or so to make it seem like I was eating.

"Son, you're awfully quiet." my dad commented. I didn't look at him.

"You know Fai, I am sorry about what I said. But you have to understand, that was when I thought you were gay! I love you, son. Now that your little experimental phase is over with, and I know it was all just a trick, now I love you again."

"Love you too, dad," I mumbled back with a mouth half-full of mashed potatoes.

"Great! We can all be one, big, happy, straight family again!" my mother said cheerfully. My father laughed with her. I tried to laugh with them, but my laugh sounded more like a sob. I didn't speak more than three words at a time for the rest of dinnertime.

~.~

"Son, can I talk to you?" my dad asked, knocking on my closed door.

"Just a minute! I'm… not dressed." I lied.

I got off of my bed, flipped my soggy pillow over to the other side, and went over to my mirror. My eyes were bloodshot. I tidied up my hair and quickly put on a night shirt and pants so it would seem like I had actually been undressed before he knocked, while thinking of a good reason why else my eyes would be red.

I opened the door for my dad with my eyes down so that maybe he wouldn't see. The best excuse I had come up with so far wasn't that believable, so I wanted to avoid using it if I could.

"Come in, dad. Did you need something?"

"Yes. I think it's time for us to have "the talk", son."

"What talk?" I sat back down on my bed and my dad sat on the chair across the room.

"You know… "the talk" talk! The girl talk?"

"Oh. Oh! Yes, that "talk". Why now?"

"Well," my dad began, "Your mother and I are not as young as we used to be, as you are aware, and-"

"Dad. You two aren't even 50 yet. You're not that old!"

"Thank you, son, but regardless, we are really looking forward to you having your first real relationship, so I would like to talk to you about girls so that I know what kind of girl you're looking for and so I know that you know how to treat a lady. Alright?"

"Umm, dad, could we maybe do this some other-"

"No, no! I insist!" he interrupted. "Consider this my Christmas present to you, son."

"What, did you not get me anything else?"

"I… Of course I… Yes! You will get another gift. Anyway! Let's talk about girls. What kind of girls do you like? Tall?"

"Short."

"Skinny?"

"Fat."

"Dark skin?"

"Light."

I laughed and cried inside. It turns out that all the lies I told about my dream girl were the exact opposite of… my Kuro-puu.

"Oooh, a light, short, fat girl? Really, son?"

"Uhh… yeah," I said.

"We have similar tastes, son. I was so happy when I first saw your mother…. Ahh, I can see her now, all short, and fat, and light…. And I loved her. And I knew I would make her my wife. And so I did. But turns out, she had a boyfriend. A rather abusive one, too. And I couldn't stand him. So I got her alone and devised some crazy scheme to get her away from the abuser and into my arms. I won't get into the details of the scheme now, but that was one of the best days of my life, and our first date."

I felt sick. Now instead of being the exact opposite, it was the exact method that Kurogane had used to get me to be his boyfriend. I almost started crying, but I held it in.

"That's… a really nice story, dad. I didn't know that."

"Yep. And from that day forward, we were in love. I told her I loved her and that she was beautiful every day. Make sure you do that same with your girlfriend, alright? Wait a little bit for the "I love you"s though. Maybe… a few months or so? No, wait until you are certain that you are in love with her and that you will not leave her. Don't say it just to say it. Only say it if you really mean it, okay? And make sure that if she says it back, she means it. Are you getting all this, son? Son, is there something wrong?"

I shook my head, looking down straight into my lap. I got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom," I quickly said, hoping that he wouldn't be able to detect any sorrow in my voice.

I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and exploded into a big, teary mess. Why hadn't Kurogane ever told me that he loved me? Maybe he didn't, and he didn't want to lie and say that he did. Well, I've got to reward honesty. Maybe this really is the end of us…. I hadn't totally intended on it to be. I had begun thinking that I would get back with him once we were out of Valeria and away from my parents. But maybe it's not worth it if he doesn't feel as strongly about me as I do about him.

"Son? What's going on in there? Are you okay?" my dad asked me from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yeah, dad. I'm just…" I blew my nose. "…blowing my nose. I was getting some sort of allergic reaction in there."

"Allergic reaction? But son, you've never had allergies!"

"It's a new one. Allergies can begin at any time."

"What are you allergic to?"

"…Dust."

My dad scowled. "I told your mother to dust that room…. We can talk somewhere else if you like. When you're done blowing your nose, come to the guest room, okay?" he said, leaving me without much of a choice. Couldn't he have picked a room other than the one that Kurogane had been staying in?

I pulled myself together, preparing to not cry this time. The red was almost gone from my eyes.

"That sure did take a while. You must have some bad allergies!"

When I entered the room, I could still smell the faint traces of Kurogane and his things. Kurogane had such a good smell. So manly and macho. I sat down on the bed he had slept in last night and my dad sat in the chair on the other side of the room.

"I thought of another question. What's that… important quality that you need in a woman?"

"You mean personality wise?"

"No. Well, yes, but I meant physically. Like, what is it for you, son? Big butt? Big boobs? Big hair?"

I stared at him with a blank expression.

"Small butt, boobs, and hair…?" he tried. "For me, it's that giant ass I'm looking for, which is part of the reason I like big girls. Don't want none unless she's got buns, son! Do you see what I'm saying? Do you have a special trait that you look for in a girl?"

"I like… butts too…." I lied again, very uncomfortably. I was not liking this conversation.

"That's my boy!" my dad exclaimed, incredibly excited that we "had that in common". "I like the big, fat, jello butts. Those are the best." he told me, motioning the shape of the perfect big butt with his hands.

I wonder if Kurogane likes my butt.

"Any girls you have in mind from college, son? It's about time you found one, don't you think?"

"Let me find someone in my own time, dad. I'll find somebody to love eventually. Right?"

I had actually meant to say "alright", but it came out wrong.

"Oh, of course you will, Fai! Of course you'll find yourself a perfect girlfriend who will make a perfect wife for you! Do you feel like you can't find a girl who wants to be with you?"

"…yeah…." I answered, one of my only truths I told during the whole conversation. Why would Kurogane want to be with me?

My dad got up out of the chair and sat next to me, placing a fatherly arm around my skinny body and over my shoulder.

"Son. You're a catch! You're smart, tall, you've got a nice head of blonde hair, which you get from my side of the family. You've just got to be more outgoing, y'know? Talk to a few of the short, fat, light, fat-bottomed girls around your campus, and I'm sure you'll find just the right one who can-"

The clock downstairs began to chime.

"Where did the time go?" my dad asked rhetorically as he stood and walked toward the door.

"What's the hurry, dad?"

"I've got to go get you your Christmas present…."

~XD~

That night, the same thing happened as every other time I had gone to my bed today. I was surprised I had any tears left to cry with, but I couldn't help myself. Hours passed by from about nine o' clock when I first went to bed until… I don't even know. All I know is, I couldn't sleep one bit. I was hoping I would cry myself to sleep again, but that didn't seem like it would happen. I kept flipping over, twisting, turning, trying to get comfortable, but nothing was comfortable. Not with all the questions I had.

Where was Kurogane? Was he over me already? Did he ever love me as much as I still love him? If he did, would he ever say so? How long will my parents believe my lie? Does Kurogane like my butt? And what is that stupid tapping at my window? Probably some bird…. As much as I love birds, this was not the time.

I opened my curtains to look out the window and my heart practically stopped when I saw what was outside.

What do you think is outside of Fai's window? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? That'd be kind of bad if it was a plane... Any guesses?