Something sweet as sugar & slightly nonsensical
Short o2: The one with roses
"Good morning, Battler."
"Ah, yo, Rono… oh… …?"
Battler's tired greeting soon died in his mouth the moment his slow, sluggish brain finally processed the sight before him. The piece of toast he'd been eating fell from his mouth; dropping from his crumb-covered fingers to his equally crumb-covered plate with a light thump.
Ronove was…
W-why was he…
Just…
Just why?
"Hm? Is there something wrong, Battler?"
"Ihihi, aha, well, um… I just… heh. What are those?"
"These?" Ronove smiled pleasantly and held the objects in his arms a little closer to his chest; though he did not hold them so tightly that he would inadvertently hurt himself. He was too careful to make a minor mishap like that. "Pu ku ku… I would have thought it was obvious~ They're roses."
Battler's left eye twitched.
"I-I know what they are!"
"Yes, I thought you would. That's why I found it such an odd question."
Elegantly, Ronove used the gloved thumb and forefinger of one free hand to pluck a single bright red rose away from its fellows.
Twirling the captive rose between the pads of his fingers, he asked, still smiling, "Was it, then, a philosophical question? Were you perhaps pondering why roses are called as such, or whether roses that exist in Purgatorio truly 'exist' at all, much like myself and Milady? That would be quite an interesting topic for discussion, but also a rather heavy conversation to have so early in the morning, pu ku ku~"
"Ihihi… hi… y-you talk too much. As if I'd ask something that weird." Battler folded his arms and sighed. "…Che. I have enough trouble trying to distinguish what corpses are corpses and who's playing dead and how much wordplay is involved in Beato's mind games as it is, without trying to ponder the meaning of life and… roses… alongside that. If I did all that in one go, my head would explode."
"And that would be quite the pity. I fear you would get the kitchen dirty if that happened."
"Oh, so you only care about your kitchen? Who cares if Battler's head explodes, let's all worry about the kitchen?"
"Well, naturally, I wish to avoid any unnecessary mess; and the thought of blood being splattered in the same room the food is prepared doesn't sound particularly hygienic… not that Miss Beelzebub would mind."
"Heheh. That girl really will eat anything. It's a wonder she's so skinny."
"I've wondered, too."
"Maybe all that extra weight goes to her boobs or her thiii~iighs, ihihi… I'd like to try and eat those some day~"
"Ah, truly? But if you blatantly did such a shameless thing, I'm afraid you might suffer injuries far more dire than a mere exploded skull… pu ku ku~ And, if you wish to know the truth… I would be rather unhappy if you did meet a violent and disturbing demise like that. I rather enjoy spending time with you, and our idle conversations~
"Oh, but that's a secret, alright?~ Please don't tell Milady how attached I am to you; she would only grow jealous. Pu ku ku~"
Battler's shoulders tensed slightly at this; his face flushing inadvertently (w-well, it wasn't like he control it or anything… Especially not when he was plainly being flirted with like that!)
A little awkwardly, Battler muttered, "R-right, whatever… … Whatever." He was staring fixatedly at the table top the whole while.
Battler winced.
The more he thought, the more he didn't like it.
He… didn't like it.
Wasn't there something a little odd about this situation?
Yeah, it felt like there was something definitely odd- those weird comments aside… O-or maybe, just maybe…
Were those comments… leading up to something?
The mere thought made Battler feel slightly ill.
He wished he hadn't eaten that toast now. Maybe something more traditionally Japanese, like rice or miso soup, would've gone down better.
"S-so, I was just wondering... ihihi, well… all those roses… T-they are for… what, exactly?"
Battler tried to sound casual, he really did- but it didn't work out that well.
Maybe that was why Ronove was smiling.
Bastard.
Still twirling that captive rose about between his fingertips, Ronove said, after a small pause, "…Well. I thought I would make them into a nice gift for-"
And those were the exact words Battler had not wanted to hear.
A-a gift?
W-who the hell gave roses as a gift to anybody- especially a large amount like this; and, aaah… h-had they been picked by hand? I-it certainly looked like that! The assorted white, pink and red petals were still damp from dew- they must've been chosen just moments ago from outside! Battler didn't much care from which rose garden Ronove had taken them- he was more concerned that he'd bothered to pick them at all!
A-aaah… No way… no way…
Who would give a beautiful bouquet of roses, chosen by hand no less, to somebody this casually, unless there was any deeper meaning attached? People didn't just go around and give each other roses- they didn't; it was weird, and it wasn't done- and the only people that did do stuff like that were…
Were…
A-ahaha, t-they were… lovers, weren't they… …?
At the mere thought, Battler's face turned light pink (incidentally, that pink was the exact same hue that predominated Ronove's bouquet).
Battler might've come across as a pervert who was obsessed with boobs, and yeah, that was partially true- b-but when it came to real romance, he could get surprisingly flustered and embarrassed about it. Despite what he said 99.99% of the time, Ushiromiya Battler was a strange kind of gentleman- and he'd always loved the idea of acting as a girl's prince, and sweeping her off her feet; hence all the corny old pick-up lines he'd used when he was younger (even if he hadn't really understood them at the time, and had ended up looking like an idiot).
S-so, something like being presented with a whole bunch of roses, friggin' roses just like that, out of the blue, i-it… it…
It hit him a lot, lot harder than any of Ronove's light-hearted flirtatious comments ever had done.
W-what the hell?
What the actual hell?
"…Battler? Are you alright? You look somewhat feverish?"
Battler froze at this soft, genuinely… caring… question.
That demon butler was too close to him, a little too close- a-aah, how had he gotten that close? Ronove was looking at him with faint amusement in his face, and the longer Battler looked at him, the more he started to appreciate just how very blue Ronove's eyes were, a-and that… wasn't good…
T-that definitely wasn't good!
He had to say something- and fast!
But what could he say?
What could he do?
"A-aah, ah, u-um, I… I… I appreciate it, but I really can't accept your feelings!"
…he could make himself sound like a complete idiot, that was what he could do.
Niiiiiice going.
He really was a smooth talker in situations like this, huh?
Battler groaned under his breath- anxiously looking up at Ronove from underneath his bangs.
Ronove looked back at him levelly.
"…I beg your pardon?"
Alright.
He had to do his best not to sound like a blundering, incompetent idiot this time.
Battler took a deep breath- and then started to talk;
"I-ihihi, I-I mean… um… I'm used to this kind of thing, really, a-and I've had people confess to me before… um, typically girls… Like, only girls… W-with home made chocolates on Valentine's Day, or notes in my shoe locker or whatever, so this is fine and all, but still… a-actually, no, I don't think this is fine, this is kiiiind of creepy, and I really, really don't feel that way about you, so if we can just forget this whole thing ever happened and-"
But Ronove soon cut Battler and his nonsensical babblings off- which might have been a good thing, in all honesty, because Battler had no idea what the hell he was talking about.
Worryingly enough… there was a rather mischievous smile on that demon butler's face.
"…Battler. Are you sure you're alright? You're acting rather oddly- more so than usual… pu ku ku~ I honestly cannot understand what you're implying with your words at all~"
Battler continued to stare; face still flushed.
"But you… and I… … the roses."
"Yes. These are roses, as we have already established. And, if you would have let me finish my earlier sentence, you would also know that I intend to use them to make rose petal jam."
"Eh, but I… ihihi… jam?"
"Yes. Jam. For Miss Virgilia, as a gift. You're familiar with the concept of jam, yes?"
"I-I, ah… um… I-I am familiar with the concept, yes… …"
Ronove laughed at Battler's obvious distress; not even trying to politely muffle the sound behind one of his hands. He couldn't have done anyway, given his hands were both otherwise engaged, holding onto all those flowers that were causing so much trouble.
No jam was worth all this embarrassment, no matter how delicious it was- and it probably would be delicious, too, given Ronove was so good at everything related to the kitchen.
Damn it…
"My, my~ Judging by that rather cute and endearing expression on your face… is it possible you thought I had a certain… other motive? Pu ku ku…~"
If possible, Battler's face turned an even deeper shade of crimson.
Great.
Now, thanks to his ridiculous (n-not that it was ridiculous!) hair, his whole head looked as though it was on fire.
Stuttering helplessly, his tongue tripping over his words, Battler choked out indignantly, "W-well, w-when you start calling me things like 'cute' o-of course I'm going to get a little suspicious! A-and you always do that thing where you stand too close to me, a-and you say all this really weird stuff, a-and you, y-you… …"
"Hm~ I wasn't aware I did a 'thing'?"
"You do," said Battler flatly, folding his arms. "You do a thing, and it's a creepy thing, and I'd like you stop."
"Aha, certainly, I will try… But~ Aah, you still look rather disappointed…? If you were truly hoping for some kind of present, then… pu ku ku~ It would be exceedingly rude of me not to meet your expectations, after I had- even inadvertently- raised them so high. I am not cruel enough to leave somebody such as yourself heartbroken; certainly not~"
"H-heartbroken? I-I'm not even, I-I-"
"Please, don't talk any further of the matter, if you find it so upsetting. Instead… just take this, as a token of my appreciation towards you~"
And, with an elegant gesture, Ronove took the single rose he had been toying with for the past few minutes…
…and gently threaded it through Battler's hair.
When the demon butler drew his hand back, somehow (i.e. obviously on purpose- just to make everything that little bit more awkward) his gloved fingers brushed against one of Battler's flushed cheeks.
"There." He laughed pleasantly. "Now you needn't have any worries about my feelings of affection towards you. I assure you, I do value your company greatly- so much so that I would gladly sacrifice a rose or two for the sake of your pride, pu ku ku~"
Battler trembled slightly with ill-suppressed embarrassment- and, more than that… steadily mounting anger.
T-that d-damn butler, screwing around with his head like that… Aaaaah, he'd probably been ordered by Beato to act as creepy as possible or something, because Ronove was never this mean to those cute seven sisters! H-he was actually really nice to them; even when Beelzebub followed him around pestering him for food- a-aargh, t-this wasn't fair, it really wasn't fair, i-it wasn't, it-
It… …
…
H-huh…?
Battler hadn't noticed it before, being too caught up in his own self-righteous anger, but when Battler glanced at that demon butler a second time… he noticed something rather surprising.
Something he hadn't seen before.
Ronove's laughter was usually more constrained than that; a light, teasing chuckle, but strangely formal at the same time- as though he were consciously checking himself so as not to appear too unrefined.
Right now, however…
That laughter seemed a lot more genuine- and far more light-hearted. It was the kind of infectious laughter shared between friends, which was difficult not to get swept up in- ridiculous though it was…
And, as Battler watched Ronove laugh openly like that, he soon found- despite his irritation- his own lips twitching, quite against his will… into a small smile of his own.
Rolling his eyes- either at his own foolishness, or Ronove's behavior, it was difficult to tell which- Battler untangled the red rose from his hair; and, holding it in one hand, absent-mindedly started to tear off the petals, one by one.
At the same time, he spoke; his voice chiding and derisive, and slightly scolding. It was the same tone of voice Virgilia always used to berate Beato for eating too much ice-cream.
"You really are a child, you know that? Teasing me like that… it's so immature."
"Hahaha…~ Ah, I do apologize. Being with you really does bring out the most terrible side of my character~"
"Ihihi… Yeah, I figured. You're never like this with those seven sisters. Aaah, but still… Useless. It's all useless." Battler smiled. "…You know, that whole primary school 'I really like you so I'm going to pull your hair to make you notice me!' flirting thing doesn't really suit a guy like you~ That's only effective when Beato does it.
"Try to be a little nicer to me next time and maaaybe I'll consider your confession a little more seriously, ihihihi~"
This time, it was Ronove's turn to look faintly surprised- his eyes widening just a fraction at Battler's bold, rather irresponsible statement.
Ihihi~ How cute~
It looked like even that demon butler could get flustered from time to time.