Something sweet as sugar & slightly nonsensical
Short o3: The one with cake

"A-aah? You r-really mean it?"

"Of course I mean it," said Battler, with his best suave smile (i.e. the one he had not spent hours practising in the bathroom mirror at home so he could emulate at least one third of that old bastard's success with women). "You can have the strawberry. I really don't mind at all."

"B-but the strawberry's the best bit! U-um, for you to give to me so easily, I-I just… I-I…"

"Ihihihi~ It's fine, you silly little stake sister. It's not an engagement ring or anything. It's just a strawberry."

"A-an engagement ring? I-I… um… … h-haoo…"

Battler laughed at the heavy blush spread on Leviathan's face; the red contrasting against her green hair, until she bore an uncanny resemblance to an apple. Battler wondered if she would taste sweet and juicy if he ran his tongue over her skin, too- but, ihihi, he better not do that. It'd be kind of weird.

Those damn big-boobed sisters, with their skimpy outfits, always made his mind wander to strange places.

"Go on, just take it," Battler reiterated. Holding the strawberry, skewed by the prongs of his fork, before her, he said, "I'm used to giving up the last strawberry for my own little sister, so I don't mind something like this. Besides, it's not fair that Beelze stole yours'. That damn stake girl is really annoying."

"I think that sometimes, too… I-it's just… um… W-well, if you're really, really sure?"

Battler's warm smile widened. Was it possible this cute girl was the same stake who had gouged his forehead, leg, chest and stomach over and over- and had even cried over not getting the best, most vital parts of his body to stake?

Maybe Leviathan wasn't used to kindness. She might have been allergic to it- and that was why her face had gone such a funny color.

It kind of made sense. Her other sisters weren't very nice to her.

Then again, it didn't look like they were nice to anyone, much…

Aaah, when Leviathan was in a state like that, she was very, very adorable. It was worryingly easy to forgive her for the trauma she'd put him through before when she pulled faces like that! When it came to XX chromosomes, Battler really was weak, ihihihi…

Flushing, Leviathan said, voice fragmented, "W-well, if you're sure… T-thank you very much! N-nobody's ever given me anything like this before, so, u-um… … h-hao… T-thank you!"

And with that garbled, babbled thanks, the Stake of Envy plucked the icing-encrusted, ruby-red strawberry from Battler's fork, and popped it into her mouth.

She burst into a cloud of golden butterflies mere moments after, and vanished.

Battler laughed as he watched her leave, dropping his fork to his plate with a light chnk as he did so. That big-boobed sister might have been a sadistic killer, but damn, was she cute~

"Pu ku ku… That was a rather kind thing you did for Miss Leviathan."

Unfortunately, Battler had forgotten he wasn't alone. That creepy demon butler was, as always (it was becoming a habit, them spending time together), seated beside him; a small smile on his face.

Battler glared at Ronove sourly, his good mood dispersing somewhat. Picking up the fork once more, he began to prod at the strawberry-less slice of strawberry cake Ronove had cut him earlier- perhaps imagining the piece of cake was Ronove's skin, and he was skewering it for his own entertainment. Heh, that would be kind of entertaining.

"Yeah. I guess it was? It's not like it's a big deal or anything."

"It was still a rather pleasant sight to watch~ Those naughty sisters always bicker and squabble over the silliest of things. I believe having a person such as yourself around would do them some good. Perhaps, if they had a big brother figure to comfort them, they wouldn't have to get so upset all the time. Plus, it might teach them a little about human etiquette, pu ku ku~"

"Ihihi, well- maybe I'm not the best big brother out there," Battler said, still poking at the sugary icing shell of his cake- feeling vaguely embarrassed himself at the compliment. "Given I wasn't around for my own little sister for about four years… … Che. I'm trying to act a little more responsible now, though."

Battler wasn't really sure why he was telling Ronove this. There was just something very… relaxing about the demon butler, loathe as Battler was to admit it. Even though Battler made a show of scowling, glaring and rolling his eyes whenever he had to spend time in the other's company, he didn't truly dislike him- even though his skin did crawl when Ronove got a little too close, or his comments got a little too openly flirtatious.

It was kind of nice having another guy to talk to. Maybe, given their bonding over teasing Beatrice… maybe they could even be considered 'friends', too.

Not that Battler wanted to befriend any demons.

Those seven sisters were different. They were hot, so it was fine being nice to them.

Eh. Something about that logic seemed a little off to Battler, but he didn't really want to question it. Just as he didn't want to question his strange attachment- no, not 'attachment', acquaintance…ship… … with Ronove.

"I believe you're rather responsible as it is," Ronove reassured him, still with that small smile- a little different to the one he wore when he was poking fun at Beatrice. "I'm very grateful that you were able to calm Leviathan down so easily. You might not realize it, but consoling her is rather more difficult than you made it appear to be."

"Haha… Well, maybe my good looks and charm helped a little."

"Perhaps they did. I sincerely hope your casual interactions with her won't lead her to any heartbreak, though… That would be unfortunate."

"It's not my fault if she gets a crush on me, ihihi~ I'm not encouraging it or anything. Heheh, althoooough… Maybe, if she falls in love with me, she won't stake me so hard next time! Aaah, that's a pretty good strategy! Maybe I should try it out with all those seven sisters?~ Aaah, then I'd have my own harem of cute girls… that's be kinda nice~ It'd almost be enough to make me consider demons might be real~ Then again, something that good would have to be a fantasy, ahahaha~"

Ronove laughed lightly. "I don't think Milady would like it if you tried to steal all her furniture, pu ku ku~ And, at any rate… I am not condemning you… but you were being very kind to Miss Leviathan. I really couldn't fault her if she did fall in love with you."

"Ah?" Battler frowned; his good humor melting away, as he looked at Ronove curiously- fork still dug into his cake. "What was that supposed to mean…?"

"Mm… Nothing~"

"It meant something, or you wouldn't have said it."

"My, how astute. Ah, well, it's merely… Hm. I find it rather upsetting how you are so kind to Miss Leviathan… … yet act so distant towards me. That is all."

There was a small pause.

Then, Battler rolled his eyes. "Pfft, there's a reason I'm not nice to you, moron. You'd just make fun of me- or twist my words around so it sounded like I was saying something different. I know what you're like."

Ronove's smile didn't waver during these accusations. If anything, it widened slightly- becoming even more mischievous. "Aah, maybe there is some truth in that…"

He inched forwards a little closer to Battler, bringing their shoulders together, so they bumping. The sudden contact made Battler misjudge the amount of force he'd been using to prod the surface of his strawberry cake (sans strawberry). The prongs of his fork went straight through the thick, crisp icing layer on the top- to scrape unpleasantly against the plate underneath with a very loud, very inelegant ssskkkkrrrrrrrrttt.

It sounded like fingernails sliding across a blackboard- and it was a perfect indication of the sudden panic that had flared inside Battler's brain.

Ronove was trying to mess around with his head again.

A-aah, well… if he was going to do something so childish… then Battler was sure, this time, he wouldn't act like a blushing, stuttering Leviathan.

This time, with the power of cake, he was going to fight back.

"Ah, it's merely quite depressing, you see," Ronove continued; his voice dropping to a soft whisper, as he brought his lips closer to Battler's ear (Battler fought hard not to flinch away). "I did make you that cake- yet I received no thanks… You gave Miss Leviathan your strawberry so easily, but I feel that if I asked for a piece, I would definitely be denied. How cruel… …"

Under normal circumstances, Battler's face would have flared red; he would have choked on his own tongue; and he might have pushed Ronove away, or maybe even punched him in the face- although Ronove would've been expecting sudden violence like that, and so would've caught Battler's first with ease and used it pull them closer together (Ronove had done that before).

Battler knew all that- and so he tried very, very hard to repress his initial instincts to act like a startled rabbit and bolt.

Instead, he forced his disgust into cold, calculated cunning…

And an eerie smile worthy of Beatrice herself spread across his face.

Picking up his fork, a piece of cake speared on the end and the silver prongs smeared with sweet, sticky white icing, he turned to Ronove.

Then, he started to speak. His own voice was equally low as Ronove's- and ever so slightly sensual.

Beatrice might have called Battler 'incompetent', but even she would have been forced to retract that statement if she had heard just how smoothly seductive Battler was able to make his voice sound. He wasn't just some foolish child who spouted awful, cheesy lines from Hollywood movies in his awful, slapdash, spotty English anymore.

Now, Battler was able to be somewhat provocative if he wanted to…

And right now, he did want to.

It was all part of his plan… ihihihi~

"Oh? You want to have a lick of my delicious cake, do you? Is that it?~ Well then… ihihihi… I'm not selfish, okaaay? I'll gladly share what I have with you- you just had to ask first. Here you go~"

And with that, he forced the piece of cake into Ronove's open mouth.

The surprise was evident by the way Ronove's eyes (they really were a captivating shade of blue) widened slightly- both at Battler's voice, his actions… and at the saccharine cake melting across his tongue. When Battler drew the fork out of his mouth, it was devoid of cake- though a few crumbs and flecked of icing remained, lubricated by Ronove's saliva.

Well. There went that fork, then. Battler would have to get a new one to eat the rest of the cake with. He didn't much like the idea of sharing any kisses, indirect or otherwise, with that demon- and solving the great mystery of what exactly Ronove's spit tasted like was not particularly high on his to-do list.

Chances were, it'd just taste the same as the few other kisses Battler had received during his high school years.

Then again… Battler was beginning to doubt his 'kind' gesture just a little nooow~ He'd already given the strawberry to Leviathan, and a now a huge piece of the cake to Ronove. If he continued like that, there wouldn't be any cake left for him- which would be a pity. Despite Battler's many complaints about Ronove as a person, he really couldn't fault his cooking skills.

What to do, what to do?

Ihihihihi… Whaa~aat a wonderful idea~

"Hey," said Battler casually, "I changed my mind. I decided you're not worthy of my cake anymore." (The cake you made for me, but let's not quibble. It's not like you can anyway, given your mouth's full~) "I think I'll take it back. Don't mind me, ihihihi~"

And, with that rather eerie laugh, Battler's fingers fisted round Ronove's cravat- pulling the obviously shocked demon butler even closer to him.

Ronove's face…

Aww, it had actually started to get a little bit red? Not enough to be noticeable, unless you were really, really looking, but still… That kind of face was one Battler ne~ver thought he'd see Ronove pull- and the flecks of white icing on his lower lip really didn't help matters, ihihi~ He kind of looked like he'd been caught doing something improper.

Battler leant forwards, at the same time pulling Ronove down closer, fingers tightening round Ronove's captured cravat.

His eyelids fell shut.

His lips pursed, and now they were inches away from Ronove's- and Battler was sure he could smell the sweet scent of that thick icing, or maybe that was his imagination, and he could even hear Ronove's own heartbeat, which was beating just a little faster, wasn't iiit, or maybe that was his own, and-

And… …-

"Like I'd do something like that, idiot!"

With a loud, derisive snort of laughter, Battler pushed Ronove away roughly- catching the demon butler quite off guard, so, perhaps the first time in his life, he actually fell off his chair and hit the floor.

Thump.

There was no mistaking it now.

His face really was red.

His eyes were far wider than normal.

And, when he next spoke… his tone of voice was slightly irregular, uneven- and, if anything… … he truly sounded... genuinely hurt?

Was that real hurt in that voice?

Battler wasn't quite sure- but it was plain to see he wasn't even smiling anymore.

"T-that… that was rather cruel," Ronove said, tongue tripling artlessly over a few of the words in a most unprofessional manner. Now he sounded strangely like Shannon, blushing and stuttering when she couldn't explain to Eva what type of tea she was serving, than Beatrice's competent head furniture. His voice wasn't nearly as feminine as hers'- but it was distinctly unsettled, and filled with embarrassment he was trying to hide (but he still wasn't quite able to).

"And I thought Milady was supposed to be the viscous one. She has never done anything quite like that to me before, though- but… ah, oh my…" Getting to his feet shakily, Ronove continued; "Toying around with my feelings like that really was quite heartless… … ahaha… Maybe I should applaud you for your ingenuity?"

Battler scoffed. "Well, that's what you get for always screwing around with my head. I thought I'd do it to you a little in return. Don't try to act all heartbroken- I know you only pretend to like me to creep me out."

"I only pretend?" Ronove echoed. "Well, it's true that, being a demon, it would probably be unwise to trust me, but… when it comes to my feelings towards you… … Hm. A-ahaha, it's no matter… I don't really know what I was hoping for anyway. Hn."

Battler tilted his head to one side, surveying Ronove- now slightly… confused? Was it possible that demon butler, whenever he made those comments about him… was actually serious?

He didn't look like he was joking.

Maybe Ronove was right? Maybe what he had just done really was too cruel to be called a simple prank or a joke. If Ronove had been a cute girl, like one of the stake sisters, Battler would never have messed around with him like that- but, really, Ronove deserved it for being so annoying.

It was all his fault.

And yet… even so… …

"Ah, Battler…"

"What?"

The expression on Ronove's face, which had been that strangely vulnerable mix of genuine shock and disappointment, had faded somewhat- and now, thankfully (Battler wasn't entirely sure why he was thankful) that small, and very familiar smile was alighting on the corners of the demon butler's lips.

It was a comforting smile.

It shouldn't have been, but it still, inexplicably, was.

"It would appear, whilst you were generously giving me a piece of your cake, somebody else decided to take advantage of your distraction and stealthily take the rest for themselves?"

Ronove pointed.

Battler turned, following the direction of Ronove's finger.

Then, his eyes narrowed, and a shadow crossed his face. He gritted his teeth together.

The plate of cake was empty, completely empty- save for a handful of crumbs that wouldn't be enough to feed a baby bird.

Somebody had stolen the rest of his cake.

And by somebody, that of course meant Beelzebub.

A-aah, but the cake wasn't even if the worst of it! W-what if Beelzebub had walked in on them when Battler was… when he was… …

"Yes~ I do wonder what an outsider would make of that earlier scene, don't you?" asked Ronove, laughing. "It must have given Miss Beelzebub quite a shock."

a/n: Putting these two into fluffy scenarios without completely destroying their characterizations is kind of hard ._.;; getting anything like kissing would probably be too much to ask for, ahaha XD
I apologize that so many of these oneshots exist, I-I just like writing them together so much, ehehe...~

~renahhchen xoxo