Something sweet as sugar & slightly nonsensical
Short 5: The one with crushes

"H-hey, give that back!"

"Ahahaha!~ Nooooo way!"

"G-gaap! I'm asking politely, so please, return my knitting! I-I was working very hard on it- if you keep throwing it through your portals it'll fall apart!"

"Aahahahaha!~ Lia, Lia, Liaaa~ If it was thaaat easy to get what you want by asking politely, murder mysteries wouldn't exist, now, would they?"

"A-are you saying you want me to murder you? I would never lose my cool like that over something this trivial! I don't really want to get into a fight…"

"Ha!~ How dull!~ Life would be a lot, looot more boring if everybody was nice! Ahahaha!"

Cackling maliciously, Gaap threw Lia's half-finished, half-knitted stuffed toy she'd been making for her cute disciple into yet another portal mere moments before Virgilia's fingers brushed it. Virgilia was getting so worked by this point it was a wonder she wasn't tearing her hair out. Her trademark head-eating hat had actually fallen from her head and, wonder of wonders, she hadn't even bothered to pick it up. Lia looked strangely vulnerable without that hat, Gaap mused- almost like she was naked or something.

Aaaah, with that cute flushed face, disordered hair and those pouty lips, Lia was really, really, reaaaally cute, ahahaha~ If Lia didn't want Gaap to tease her so much, then maybe she shouldn't have been so gosh darned adorable! Kyakyakya~

"Gaap, please! It was a toy I was making for Beatrice's birthday! She was really looking forward to it! Don't play this kind of mean-spirited prank on me now- if not for my sake, then for Beatrice's!"

There was a light tup as the distinctly worse for wear woollen toy was deposited out of the ceiling and into Gaap's waiting hands.

"Hm~ But, Liaaaa, you don't understand!" she said, turning the toy about, "I like seeing you like this! I'm such Riiche would have a lot of fun seeing how flustered her smart, sensible Teacher can be as well! Ahahahahaha- ha… ha… …?"

But Gaap's fun proved to be rather short-lived.

Somebody had just come up behind her- and, quite simply, plucked the woollen toy out of her manicured fingers.

It wasn't Virgilia. Lia, who claimed to be sooo sophisticated, was still standing in front of Gaap, hands held at her chest imploringly, face fraught with worry.

The person who had put a premature end to Gaap's fun was…

"Ronove?"

Ronove smiled at Gaap's incredulous greeting and inclined his head politely in her direction. Then, he handed the toy back to Virgilia.

The look of gratitude in Virgilia's face was sickening.

"A-aah, um… Thank you very much… … T-this was something I could have handled myself, but…"

And then Virgilia's hands went to her head- and she realized, in a matter of seconds, that she was missing her hat.

Suddenly, she turned red; fingers fisting in her long strands of silken silver hair.

Even though Gaap was a liii~iiittle peeved Ronove had been a huge killjoy, she couldn't help but giggle at the cute expression on Virgilia's face. Honestly; she was acting like Ronove had caught her in her nightgown or something. Not that Virgilia's nightgown was all that revealing or anything (Gaap knew, she had seeeeen. She had her ways, ufufu~). Virgilia's pajamas were more demure than Gaap's casual clothes, for crying out loud.

Virgilia was just kind of weird about traditions. She was definitely the kind of girl who believed in looking prim and proper at all times, with her ankles covered up, and hoop skirts, etc, etc. She even did knitting for fun, and cross stitch.

Aaah, Lia was so out-dated it was really sweet~

Hm…

Gaap pouted.

That was probably why Lia got so embarrassed when she was with her. They really were polar opposites. Lia had a lot, lot more in common with Ronove.

That was why they always looked so close.

That was why Virgilia never got angry with him.

That was why, when Ronove retrieved her fallen hat and returned it to Virgilia, her face flushed with thanks, and she accepted it gratefully, with one of those small and very sincere smiles she never, ever gave Gaap.

Urgh.

Stupid Ronove, stealing her Virgilia.

But, at least, Gaap thought with a cat-like grin, she got to see the really adorable, exposed, and ever so slightly more truthful side of Virgilia than Ronove ever diiiid~

Later, when Virgilia was happily knitting Beatrice's birthday present once more, that sleepy smile on her face, Gaap and Ronove found themselves talking quietly, out of Virgilia's earshot; both sipping cups of tea.

"Forgive me for criticizing you, Miss Gaap, but…"

Gaap rolled her eyes. "Buuut you're going to criticize me anyway, right?"

Ronove laughed softly at this. "My, how astute. Yes, I suppose I might… Ah, but I do not wish to sound rude; rather, I am merely speaking with a certain person's best interests at heart. I hope you don't take offence."

"Is this about Lia?"

"Mm… Well. Sometimes, I feel… taking the incident that occurred earlier today into account, for instance, that you are rather too cruel to Miss Virgilia? I understand that you have a rather close relationship, and I am sure you didn't intend to upset her, but… On occasions, I feel you might take your teasing slightly too far?"

There was a small pause.

Gaap stared down at her rippling reflection in her teacup, amused at how her blonde corkscrew curls were too large to fully fit inside the frame made by the circular rim of the willow patterned cup.

Then, she smirked… and she lifted head- blonde curls bouncing.

The devilish grin she typically reserved for Virgilia shone across her face.

"Oh, Ronove~ My poor, poor, misguided friend~ Ufufufu~"

Ronove returned these words with a slightly bemused smile. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I mean…" Giggle, giggle. "I tease Lia like this because I like her, okay?~ I really, really like her. Liiike… I want to get her attention aaaall the time, all to myself~ If I bully her a little, then she certainly won't be able to forget about me! I don't want Lia to forget about me… So I'm going to do my best to ensure I'm always in her thoughts!~ Ahahaha!~"

"Ah… but I feel being that cruel to another person would only turn them against you…?"

Gaap snorted.

Clapping Ronove on the back, blonde curls still happily bounce-bounce-bouncing, she said, "Aaah, I guess this is something you really don't understand~ Hehe. For a smart person, you can be kind of dense sometimes, you know?~ My kind of childish flirting might be a little too confusing for a person like you, ahaha~ But, don't worry…

"I'm sure, when you find somebody you really, really, really like, then you'll understand what I mean~"

"Hey, t-that's not funny! I was reading that! Give it back!"

"Oh, I do apologize. I was merely so interested in the small fragments of this story I happened to see over your shoulder I had to take a look for myself. I believe I've read this book before, so I had to read it myself to verify my suspicions. I hope my behavior isn't too rude or too forward?"

Ushiromiya Battler glared up at Ronove, eyes narrowed into slits, just like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. He was so visibly frustrated even his red hair seemed a little spikier than usual in his defiance.

Sharply, he said, "O-of course stealing my things without my permission is rude! This is, like, the kind of thing primary school children do to each other! Like, there was one girl in my class who kept stealing my pencil case… Aaargh, that really pissed me off!"

Ronove laughed. "That must have been quite traumatic. Have I awoken the memories of some deep childhood embarrassment in your tender heart, Battler?"

"Gah. S-shut up! T-this… This isn't about that!"

"…Articulately put."

"Shut the hell up! Now you're even making fun of the way I talk? This is so frickin' stupid- you'll be pulling my hair next!"

"Hm, well… I have pondered it, but I don't think even I would be shameless enough to go that far? Pu ku ku~"

"Whatever! Something like this is really, really immature, even for you!"

"But you've told me in the past you find my attempts at pleasant conversation irritating? I'm merely trying to change the manner of how we bond slightly, pu ku ku~"

"T-this isn't bonding, this is you being an annoying bastard! Aaaah, now I kind of miss those sarcastic comments of yours'- at least I could just ignore those! Damn! Why the hell do you have to be a few inches taller than me?"

Ronove only laughed, Battler's book held in his hand, as the aggravated teen attempted (unsuccessfully) to steal it back. Battler looked a little flustered at having to get so close to another man, especially one who constantly flirted with him, just to retrieve his book- but Battler had some strange sense of duty to fight for what he wanted at all costs, even if it meant putting himself in awkward situations.

Wasn't that kind of temperament called being 'hot-blooded'?

Or maybe it was just being stubborn.

Perhaps there wasn't that much difference between the two.

It made Battler rather amusing to tease, though.

Ronove had to admit… there was something strangely satisfying about seeing Battler get riled up. It was so fun much fun even a person like himself, who typically tried to act calm and composed… really couldn't help lapsing into a more immature frame of mind from time to time.

This… really was entertaining, though…~

Hadn't Gaap said something about this quite a while ago? At the time, Ronove hadn't really understood the meaning behind her words… but now, as he looked down at Battler's angry expression, he thought… maybe he did.

Maybe he finally understood what Gaap had meant.

"I tease Lia like this because I like her, okay?~ I really, really like her."

Hahaha…

Battler had been right.

In this kind of situation, Ronove knew he was really was no better than a young child trying to get the attention of their crush by pulling their hair.

"I'm sure, when you find somebody you really, really, really like, then you'll understand what I mean~"

Well... it was better late than never, wasn't it? Pu ku ku...~

"Thank you," said Battler sarcastically, once Ronove finally relented and handed him back his book. "Now I can finally finish this without you bugging me."

"I wasn't trying to irritate you," Ronove lied blatantly, with a small smile. "I merely wanted to spend some time with you."

Well… the last part was true enough. That didn't make the earlier lie quite so shameless, did it?

Battler looked Ronove up and down sceptically for a few moments, book clutched protectively to his chest; no doubt paranoid Ronove, or maybe one of the annoying big-boobed sisters, would try to steal it right back from him again. He had good cause to be paranoid, given Beelzebub was renowned for stealing food from people's mouths whilst they were trying to eat. She'd never tried to steal books and devor those, but there was always a first time.

Once, she had downed a whole bottle of Lucifer's strawberry-scented shampoo…

Oh, but Ronove was getting slightly off topic.

Back to Battler~

Battler was still scowling- and the expression was so… strangely cute that Ronove couldn't help but smile, even though he was sure it would only irritate Battler even more. He couldn't help himself.

But… Ronove was wrong.

It didn't make Battler angrier.

When the young teen's eyes met Ronove's, and he saw how oddly sincere that smile was… Battler's foul mood evaporated somewhat (not completely, he wasn't that much of a pushover; just a little, tiny, microscopic bit), and… he found himself, ever so hesitantly, without his minds' proper control over his mouth… smiling back.

It was a very small smile, but it was a smile none the less.

That was impossible to deny. If he'd been asked to say 'I'm not smiling' in red, it would have been impossible for him to repeat. Not without experiencing that sharp, stabbing pain his stomach.

"…Ah, fine, fine," he finally said, slightly distractedly. "If you're going to be so insistent about being annoying, then at least you could do it whilst making me a cup of tea. You're not completely aggravating when you're doing something useful."

Ronove bowed his head in assent, unable to curb his own foolish happiness at Battler's response.

"Certainly. I will do that at once."

"Oh, and… ihihi…" Now scratching his cheek awkwardly with one finger, Battler looked down at the floor, and scuffed his feet… and muttered, "Heh… Well. You said you've read this book before?"

"I believe I have."

"Well then… um… If you're going to the trouble of making me some tea, you could at least stay and have a cup yourself- and maybe we could talk about this book together? The detective is just going to reveal the culprit, and I want to see if I've managed to guess it right first, ihihi~ If I have, I'll have somebody I can boast about it too… if you stay… eheh."

"Oh? Why not do such a thing with Milady? I'm sure she would enjoy bouncing ideas back and forth with you- and I do believe this particular story is one of Milady's favorites?"

Battler pretended to shudder. "What, and watch my discussion about literature turn into another fun game proving my incompetence? Aaah, no thank you! Beato is waaay too good at solving stories like this. Whenever I talk about mystery novels with her, she always makes me feel like an idiot- and then she starts cackling about how stupid I am! It's no good for my pride, you know? I think you're a little kinder than that. Kind of?"

"Mm, I do understand. That sounds exactly like Milady. Well then… if you really wish to have a polite conversation with me, I really would be flattered… Thank you very much."

Battler laughed softly, tuning his head away; book still held to his chest.

"Heh. Don't thank me for talking to you. Thaa~aat sounds a liii~iittle too needy."

"I wasn't aware it was… …?"

"Well, it kiiiind of is."

Battler smirked, his confidence restored somewhat, as he saw what impact his own words were having on that demon butler. With Ronove, it was always hard to tell when comments had hit their mark or not, given he wore that indiscernible smile… but Battler was pretty sure he'd managed to catch Ronove out there, even if it didn't show on his face.

Ronove wasn't the only one who could bully people.

So it was, with a languid smirk, that Battler said oh-so-casually, "And the next time you want me to pay attention to you, please don't steal my stuff. Just be your usual 'charming' self, and I'm sure you'll get the message across."

Ronove tilted his head to one side slightly in confusion. "Message? What message?"

"'I really, really like you, w-will you hurry up and notice how I feel so I don't have to state my emotions plainly and embarrass myself.'" And, with a dramatic gesture, Battler stabbed the index finger of his free hand at Ronove. "That's the message. That's what you want to say really, riiight? Don't deny it, I can see the truth written on your faaaace, ihihihi~ I didn't play that hellish detective game with Beato for nothing- I'm pretty good at spotting small details now! Ihihihi!~"

Aaah…

By now, there was really no point trying to deny it at all…

"… …Ha. I think you might be right. Regardless of what Milady says, you really are a very competent detective."

Despite his small smile, Ronove truly was getting slightly flustered.

That was probably why Battler started to laugh at him.

Yes… somehow, this situation really had been turned around, hadn't it? In the end, it wasn't that much like Gaap and Virgilia's relationship at all.

Then again, it was always far, far more rewarding when Battler started to argue back at him. Conversations like this… really were fun.

And maybe, because Battler always felt like returning Ronove's comments with mocking ones of his own… that showed that Battler cared. And maybe he found these kinds of pointless arguments fun, too. After all, he was smiling…

"Ihihi~ Look, you've gone all quiet now- and you were so lively just moments before~ You truly can't handle being mocked in return, just a little?" Battler laughed, and gently prodded in the side. "You really are useless."

Ronove smiled falteringly, directing his gaze at the floor.

"…Well. That's not quite true. I'm only this useless around you."

"Huh?" Battler frowned. "What was that?"

"Oh… Nothing, really~ Pu ku ku~"

a/n: because ridiculously kawaii ronove with a silly one-sided crush is my favorite kind of ronove o / o
people have been hating on my adorable otp ;_; i-i need to cure my shattered soul by bathing it in cute.
don't mind me~
*sobs in corner*

~renahhchen xoxo