Something sweet as sugar & slightly nonsensical
Short o6: The one with kissing

"Mm, this looks pretty tasty~ Thank you!"

"You don't need to thank me," said Ronove smoothly, with his usual smile. "Being a butler, it is my job to cater to the needs of others. It's hardly something I need praise for."

"Heh. Well, when you phrase it like that... ihihi~" Battler laughed sheepishly, running a hand through his messy red spikes. "Still. This is pretty nice, having my own butler- and a demon one, no less! It's kind of like something from an anime, huh?"

"I wouldn't know. I confess, I haven't seen many shows like that... and the few I have are mainly of the magical girl variety. Elegant demons such as myself are rarely presented- although I suppose a change of pace would be nice... pu ku ku~"

"Oo~ooh?~" Battler raised a brow at this; a teasing smirk on his face. "Magical girls, hu~uh?~ You like those shows with the really, really little loli girls, in those short ski~irts with pigtails? Ihihihi! Have I discovered something really, really interesting about your character?~ Ihihihi!"

Ronove, rather than becoming flustered, merely laughed and shook his head.

Tch. Somehow, he was able to look pretty... cool... doing that.

How could a guy who baked such delicious cakes and cookies, in a light pink apron no less, be able to look so calm and dignified all of the time? He bled rose petals, for crying out loud- that was hardly super awesome or emasculating! But, even so... Battler had to admit, as far as demons went... Ronove was pretty, hngh... heh.

'Cool'.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Just a little.

Even though Battler hated admitting it.

"It is not as though I, personally, watch those shows for my own entertainment. They are Miss Asmodeus' favorite thing to watch- and I know Miss Lucifer and the other sisters enjoy them as well, even if they claim they're childish... I believe Milady also has a soft spot for them as well."

"Hm? Beato likes that cute magical girl stuff?" asked Battler curiously. "Heh~ Like Card Master Sakura?"

"Is that the one where the young girl has the lion companion, and she regularly changes outfits?"

"That's right, that's right!" said Battler, laughing. "Heheh- I used to watch it with Ange a lot~ It was a nice distraction from doing homework, anyway…~ I can't believe a woman like Beato would be interested in such stuff, though? That's pretty funny… ihihi!~"

"Oh yes. Milady has a soft spot for sweet tales that involve magic and happy endings; but perhaps that is understandable… She may be 1,000 years old, but she has still retained a very pure, child-like heart. That is something admirable. Please don't mock her for it."

"Heh…~ W~eeell, I'll try not to~ Heh. I know." Battler grinned. "I'll just make fun of you instead?"

"Mm, that sounds like a splendid arrangement. I do adore our playful conversation~ But, as I said- I wasn't watching those shows for my own pleasure. Those seven noisy sisters like them. So, given they like to see those shows together, there's a good chance fights will break out- and of course, somebody needs to mediate."

"Oh, I see, I see..." Battler slumped his shoulders, pretending to sigh dejectedly. "So you don't have a secret loli fetish after all, hmm?"

"I'm afraid not. Why?" Ronove grinned. "Were you hoping we would have something in common?"

"E-eh? W-what's this? I-ihihi… hihi…"

Laughing awkwardly, Battler held his hands up before his face as though trying to defend himself. If he'd been an anime character, like those cute girls in their pink frilly skirts the seven sisters seemed to idolize (heh, that was so~o cute? Magical Girl Luci of the Seven Stakes? He'd have to tease her about that at some point! ...Preferably whilst wearing chain mail, to minimize the damages), then a large, cartoon-ish drop of sweat would've run down the side of his head.

"W-what are you talking about? What a mean accusation to make! I only like bouncy girls, you know? Girls like Beato! I-I can't be a lolicon, I have a little sister; even a pervert's got to have some limits!"

"I see. Then, please forgive me for making an incorrect assumption," said Ronove coolly (guh), with a bow of his head. "However... pu ku ku~ I still remember what 'interesting' changes you made to Lady Eva-Beatrice's dress when you first became the Game Master..."

"G-gyaaah! That was just a joke, okay? A joke!"

"A joke that heartlessly and thoughtlessly trampled upon the purity of a delicate young lady, as I do recall... Yes. Truly an... amusing joke. I admire you for your ingenuity~ Pu ku ku~"

"Aaah! Stop talking to me like that!" Battler snapped childishly, folding his arms. "I-I already apologized for that! Geez! And don't you try to pretend you have some form of moral high ground here; your jokes are in even worse taste than mine!"

"Pu ku ku...~ And what exactly could you mean by that?~"

Battler rolled his eyes. "Hm. Oh, I don't know. I wonder."

"I really don't know. I'm a gentleman; and, above all, a butler to yourself and Milady. I'm a respectable demon- I would never do any~thing crude or in bad taste, that goes without saying~ Pu ku ku," said Ronove 'innocently'- though his mischievous smile completely counteracted any sincerity that might have been in those words.

That tone of voice was so sugary sweet it was starting to put Battler off his delicious-looking slice of strawberry cake.

Bleh.

Seriously, that guy liked to act oh-so elegant and charming- but deep down inside, he was just a little kid who liked to bully him to get a response, wasn't he? He really was a brat! And... ... h-he never even acted like this around anybody else, either! It was only him. Sure, Ronove teased Beato too- but that was a different kind of teasing!

Maybe Battler should've felt flattered by this 'special attention'- b-but really, it was just a huge pain in the ass to deal with!

W-which was why Battler kept talking to that guy all the time, even though he didn't have to.

Which was why Battler genuinely found Ronove's company... kind of amusing- and sometimes, the outrageous things he said with a perfectly straight face made him laugh.

Which was why Battler was slowly, hesitantly, beginning to view that creepy butler... ... m-maybe as something a bit more than that.

Maybe, even... as some kind of friend.

Well, Battler had always had a strange affinity for people who made his life miserable. Must've stemmed from having a dad like that old bastard. If the person closest to you was a huge asshole, it stood to reason you'd naturally gravitate towards people like that naturally in later life, right? R-right?

I-it wasn't like he was a masochist or anything…!

Ihihihi...

Aaah, shit- n-now Ronove was getting too close again; smiling that disconcerting smile that made Battler's skin crawl; and, aaah, what the hell, was this the price he had to pay just to get that annoying man to make him a slice of cake?

What the heeeeell?

"Heh... aha... Y-you know what you're doing," said Battler, inching away in his chair slightly (it might have been a very childish reaction, but the first thought that instantly ran through Battler's mind was 'eeew, I don't want you sharing my air!'). "You're... being annoying right now. C-cut it out."

Ronove replied instantaneously, still smiling. "I don't want to~ I'm having fun."

"You have a twisted concept of 'fun'..."

"Just as you were so cruel to poor Lady Eva-Beatrice when you abused your powers to shorten the length of her skirt, hm~mm...? Or how you bullied and abused Miss Lucifer? But you were enjoying yourself...~ I think your concept of 'fun' is slightly twisted too, pu ku ku~"

"Ahaha... ahaha... T-that was a long time ago," Battler muttered; backing away from Ronove. "Beato already beat me up for that! I-I couldn't walk properly for days, and it took me two weeks to find the tip of my little finger! G-geez. I learnt my lesson, okay? You don't need to try and hammer it home, too! J-just let me eat my cake in peace now!"

"Mm, certainly. You can eat your cake, that I prepared with my own fair hands, whenever you like."

"No, I meant..." Battler clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, scowling. "I want to eat my cake without your face in my face. I want to feast on this delicious sugary sweet dessert- nooot that lovesick in your eyes when you stare at me, al~right? I know I'm a popular guy, and I get a loo~oot of people might like me, but I have a wife, you know? It's not like you have a chance!"

"Hm?" Ronove tilted his head to one side, apparently in confusion. "I'm… lovesick? And... whatever gave you that idea?"

"The way you act. The way you're you. Trying to get too close; always teasing me; that… that look on your face. Heh. Right now, you're even trying to turn me into a better person by picking on me about that Game Master stuff! Ihihi~ Isn't that what people do when they're in love? They try to fix the flaws in a person they liii~iiike?~" Battler forced a bold smile; lifting one finger as he made a point. "And really, being adored like this is kind of nice- but I'd rather you were a cute girl, okay? Don't get offended- that's just ho~ow it is. So this situation would never work, a-and maybe you shou-mmm... ...?"

And then a soft, warm sensation suddenly enveloped Battler's lips- rendering him completely speechless.

Quite literally.

It was difficult to keep talking when he was being kissed like that.

Battler's eyes shot open in surprise, shock and horror- whilst his heart constricted painfully in his chest, and his stomach seemed to clench itself in a tight ball. It felt like one of Lady Lambdadelta's black holes had opened up inside his body, sucking in all his internal organs. Meanwhile, a million thoughts ran through his head (well, maybe not) like an explosion of coloful kompeito candy.

Candy of confusion.

These scattered thoughts went a little like…

Huh. Kissing Ronove isn't that unlike kissing Beato. It's not like it feels any different. I mean, apart from that mustache… I-it's still, like, lips and mouths and stuff.

He's... not as graceless or demanding as Beato, either.

Heh. Maybe that's how 'gentlemen' kiss, then. Not that I'd know- it's not like I go around kissing guys; a-and who else do I know who's a 'gentleman' anyway? G-genji? Aaaah, no thank you! I'd rather kiss Kumasawa!

H-he... um…

Ronove… probably should have asked for my permission first, though... ... ...

S-so this isn't really what a gentleman would do… ihihihi…

T-then again, I always knew that bastard wasn't one.

Ronove broke the sudden kiss as quickly as it had started; terminating it so fast, and with so little... 'action', other than the basic brushing of lips against lips, that Battler kind of doubted whether something that soft and that chaste could even be called a 'kiss' at all. It wasn't like his mouth had been open or anything. N-not that he wanted it to be! Not that he wanted this at all! I-it was just, um...

Aaah...

...

It was with a great effort that Battler said, his whole face flushed red, "W-what... ... w-what the hell was that?"

Ronove smiled, gently tracing his own lower lip with one gloved fingertip.

"Pu ku ku~ Nothing... I was merely trying to be polite and prove your previous assessment of my character correct, that's all. People like being told they're right, don't they? So… in a rather unorthodox manner, I'll admit… I was only trying to agree with you. You said I was... lovesick... I believe?"

Battler's face turned dark red. Clenching his hands into fists, he said, spluttering in embarrassment and indignation, "B-but... but... I-I wasn't even being serious!"

"Hmn~ Well." A soft laugh. "Maybe, on an... admittedly rare occasion... ...

"Maybe… I was… …?"

a/n: Let me just write cute stuff about these two forever and ever please ;_;