The Woods Are Dark and Deep

by Blue Jeans

Chapter 3

The remainder of the trip was a terrified blur. I had walked back the same way the other passengers had already gone. I stood apart from them a little, numbly recalling what I had seen even though I didn't want to. I tried to distract myself by watching them huddle as close to the coach as they could without getting yelled at by the men still working on fixing the wheel, but it didn't help. So I just stood there and breathed shallowly, trying to get the stench of death out of my nose even though the wind would not blow my memories away along with it...

A few of the passengers were mad with fear enough to attempt to get on a horse and ride away. Most were just willing to do anything to speed up the process of fixing that wheel and leaving. If it weren't for the fact that everyone was all too aware that they didn't know if what did that to the village was still out there, I would have guessed most would have ventured down the road on their own just to get away. We definitely would have lost a horse or two to some of the more hysterical travellers if the coming night and the promise of worse to come should anyone be found alone did not stay them.

I didn't know if knowing what did this was better or worse, but I doubt my face was any different than the people around me.

When we finally rumbled off, passing by the town with no moon out, no one dared to lift the curtains to look out at the town. Frankly, I felt bad for the drivers who had to stay out there after what they had heard from the passengers who came back. I was mostly alternating between the feelings of depression and fear as we continued. The fear was not hard to feel considering the fact that it sat cold and heavy in the coach for the remainder of the trip, silencing any earlier conversations or cheer. The depression was largely due to the fact that I knew. Unlike everyone else, I knew what did this. I was not just another ignorant traveler, wishing to be home with family again once this trip was over. I was the party who was responsible for this massacre, albeit indirectly.

I also knew it wasn't over. I knew this with a certainty that made it hard to catch my breath at times.

All those terrifying encounters when I had crossed paths with Sanan after he took the Water of Life flooded my mind. I remembered my first time, stumbling onto the Corps after they had lost to the blood-lust. In the darkened coach I relived the terror over and over, the sight, the feel and the smell of blood swamping my senses. I could have been like any of those victims in that village if Okita and Saito had not shown up that night, Hijikata saving me from Okita's ruthlessness but appearing no safer when he did. Now, there were no more Shinsengumi to protect me from the dark. Now, there were no more demons on my side to deal out punishment to those who crossed the line.

In those riped up pieces of flesh, I saw myself. I saw all the lives cut short. I saw their terror and felt their screams.

When the coach finally reached Edo, all the passengers tumbled out, one after the other. After the drivers unloaded and everyone got their luggage, the travelers scattered. I gripped my suit-case tightly and stood on the platform under the sun for a long moment, watching them run away as if the shadow of the furies followed their footsteps still.

Where would I go? I wondered. Where could I make the most difference?

While I had planned to stay with Dr. Matsumoto when I had left Ezo, now that I knew there were still furies out there, I knew I had to go back to my home. I was so tired, having been unable to sleep after what I had seen, but if I went home then I would not be able to rest. Knowing what I knew, I would not be able to close my eyes under that roof. If I don't go right away... could I live with myself?

Every moment I am not searching for answers, another victim or another village of victims may fall to the blade of the furies unchecked. Without Kazama or Amagiri, I was rather useless if I came upon them. Without research, I would not know if there was another way to stop them.

I wanted to just sit on the platform and close my eyes. I would have cried if I had more strength. I would have screamed if it would alleviate the fear and pain constricting my lungs and sitting coldly in my belly like a stone. Instead, I stepped off the stairs and turned in the direction of the mail office.

I could not wait, but it was still wiser to send a message to Dr. Matsumoto to let him know that I was in town and where I was staying. I wanted someone to be there for me, but I could not delay the research. I assured myself that when he got the message he would come looking for me. I would not be long in that house by myself. I would not have to read about furies and think about furies in my old home, by myself, with my father's notes...

I shuddered.

When the message was finally sent, I turned down the road and headed for my childhood home.

To be continued...