She's late. She's never late and by never I mean never. He's here before her! That's happened rarely before; when he was either avoiding Paula or avoiding Gina. He wonders if her uncharacteristic disregard for punctuality has anything to do with yesterday's evens. What is he saying? Of course it has something to do with it, how could it not?

After Kate had rushed out of the bar he had been tempted to follow. Although they are in no kind of relationship he constantly feels a strong need to protect her from everything. He knows if he ever told her this she would probably shoot him, she's an independent woman who carries a gun and all logic points to her being able to protect herself far better than he ever could yet when a situation arises, so does this gut feeling. This almost uncontrollable, overpowering sense of duty that just takes over and ends up with him staring down the barrel of one or two quite intimidating guns. Because losing her is not an option.

So when she ran out and Andrew had made to follow her was already out of his seat one hand on his coat. This Andrew may seem like a nice guy but for Kate to act so coldly towards someone, especially family, Andrew must have done something bad, something that really hurt her and no one's allowed to hurt her. But then he had seen the look in his eyes, so desperate and scared, scared of losing his little sister forever and he'd made a snap decision that he'd give this man one chance with Kate but if he brought her any pain he will destroy him. So he simply gave him a look that he hoped conveyed all of this then nodded giving the man silent consent to chase after her. A flustered looking Andrew had thanked the boys for inviting him before rushing out of the bar. Then Castle had sunk back down in his chair sharing a quick look with the boys before announcing:

"Another drink?" He could sure use one.

But now she's late, like she never is, and he's worried. Maybe letting Andrew go after her was the wrong decision; he should have stopped him straight away, kept him as far away as possible from Kate, way past hurting distance. Damn it! Why is she late?

Wait a minute. He thinks he hears a… faint clicking of… yes it is! Most definitely! The noise gets louder and louder and there she is. He looks her up and down a few times checking for any physical harm she may have been victim to. After a few glances he decides there isn't, well none accept her eyes. They're a strange colour of dilute pink-red like she's been crying a lot then slept on it but by the looks of the giant bags under her eyes, not for long. He hasn't seen bags so big since they had worked her mother's case/her shooting. She's put on more make up than usual to cover it up but after having a mother in the performing arts business, who tragically would regularly practise different makeup techniques for every part she would go up for on him, he knows a thing or two about makeup. It hurts him to know she was probably up most of the night weeping at the hands of someone who is supposed to chase away all of the people that bring any pain to her, transform ex-boyfriends into quivering messes for making their baby sister shed a single tear. But she's in one piece; she has her head high and looks like, although her steps falter now and then, she means business.

"Hey, coffee?" Somehow the liquid has remained hot during this eternal wait and he's happy he can use it to say something to her.

"Thanks." That's all she says giving him a tentative smile that looks a little forced but he can see the sincerity in her eyes so he gives her a trademark Castle smile in response.

She's seated by now, bag away, coat on back of chair and she's just reaching for her paperwork when the words seem to just come out without any warning.

"About yesterday…" Whoa Rick. No. We don't want to do that, we know how sensitive and private she is normally let alone in this clearly extremely personal situation! We really don't want to do this! What do you think you're doing?

These thoughts keep racing through his mind as he waits for her to get mad or upset or just go ahead and shoot him but she doesn't look like she's going to do any of those things, just a bit surprised and in fact maybe a little bit…guilty?

"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it would have come up at some point, I'm sure of it, it wasn't supposed to be some kind of secret. We're partners and that means I know I can't trust you, please don't think I was keeping this from you."

Wow. Did that just happen? Did Kate Beckett, I repeat, the one and only, yet extraordinary, guarded and reserved Kate Beckett talk about something quite personal completely openly and honestly without really being pushed, just sitting at her desk, no tiger, bomb, freezer, or anything? And did she sound nervous? Worried? Afraid? Afraid he would be mad that she had kept such a thing a secret, that he would doubt their partnership, have doubt in her? But he would never do that. Sure, he wished he had known but her reaction seemed evidence enough that there was a valid reason for keeping it a secret.

"No, I understand. I mean it's obviously a sensitive subject that you don't like to talk about. I can see how you could just never mention it." Then he smiles as reassuringly as he can trying to translate that it really is okay, that they're good. At first she looks a bit hesitant but ultimately smiles back offering a brief nod before returning to the world of paperwork, a place he is very glad he can say he is not a regular visitor of.

The morning progresses as normal from then on, her filling out paperwork whilst he alternates between Angry Birds and Tunnel Run but failing miserably as he is constantly glancing up at her then looking away before she realises. This is relatively normal except when he usually watches her it's out of fascination and want, not worry. He's still not one hundred percent convinced by her seemingly calm and unaffected exterior. For example, she keeps pausing from time to time as if in deep thought then rereads paragraphs within most of the reports over and over as if she wasn't really paying attention the first couple of times.

She's tense, extremely so. Her shoulders, normally dead straight exuding her intense confidence even just sitting at a desk, are slightly hunched over. Most people wouldn't even take notice of such a small change, but he does, of course he does, he notices everything about her. He has watched her for so long and so intently how could he not. He's loves that he has an ability (which he is quite proud of) to read her so well, at least most of the time, yet still has so much to learn about her. He thinks he'll never get bored of peeling back those layers one by one.

Suddenly she lets out a long sigh putting down her pen slowly in a way Castle has come to know she does when she's becoming frustrated but is still trying to remain calm.

"Castle?" Her eyebrow arches in that dangerous and terrifying yet incredibly sexy way.

"Ye-Yeah…" He answers hesitantly worried of what's to come.

"Something up? You keep staring at me, like even more than usual."

"Um…" he needs to come up with an answer soon or she'll pounce on him just like her suspects when they are the least bit hesitant during interrogation.

She sighs again, raking her hands though her long luscious hair.

"This is about yesterday isn't it?" She looks straight into his eyes and down to his soul and he knows he won't be able to tell her anything but the honest truth, but he can't tell her that so he clamps his mouth shut hoping it will actually stay shut for once and looks anywhere but her eyes.

She lets out another, this time shorter, sigh.

"Look, I've nearly finished here, how about we head to Remys?"

She wants to go to dinner? To talk? Kate Beckett, for the second time today, seems to be openly talking to him about an obviously extremely personal matter.

"Castle?" He's been staring at her for ages, hasn't he? He's got to say something now before he looks even more stupid.

"Yeah, yeah." He clears his throat trying to remove the rough quality "Of course."

"Good, okay." She smiles looking down at the yet to be completed form appearing a bit startled at her own actions before she relaxes back into the slowly decreasing, more mountain than pile of paperwork.

Now they're sitting in their usual booth. When she had finished her paperwork she had simply stood up and started gathering her things. He took this as a sign that it was time to go and put on his coat before holding out and helping her into hers, receiving a quick smile as thanks. They travelled in the elevator, out of the precinct and across to Remys in silence, not uncomfortable but not quite comfortable, their minds full of their own thoughts, his with so many questions to ask her but battling them off knowing he has to wait to ask when she's ready and open enough, if she's ready or open enough. But now they're sitting here both staring at their fidgeting hands as they've already ordered their usual and no longer have distractions to fill the silence. It seems she's had enough as she takes a long calming breath before jumping straight into it.

"So Andrew's my brother, but I guess you know that by now. He was born 4th February 1972, 5 years before I was and he was the quite possibly my favourite person in the world. My hero, my protector, my pillar…my older brother." A small smile adorns her face as she is overcome by a flood of memories, the good kind. She takes a moment to just enjoy them before pushing on.

"We were such a happy family, sure Mom and Dad were busy with work a lot but we still did the fun, normal family things; picnics in the park, daily family dinner where we'd talk about our day, day trips to the zoo, museum, to watch a movie, the traditional yearly Beckett family holiday. I didn't realise at the time how good I had it, apart from the occasional teenage drama or heartbreak my life was pretty perfect.

Until…until my mother was murdered and left in that alley. My perfect life in my perfect little bubble just exploded and we all spun out of control. At first it was almost surreal, we just went on with our lives not talking about her being gone, knowing she was gone, and ignoring all the friends and families calling or dropping by offering their condolences.

The police, not surprisingly hardly ever had any developments so we just stayed in our little house pretending it wasn't happening whilst it ate away at us inside. That was until the funeral, then we kind of had to at least acknowledge it, I wish I'd realised just how…distant Andrew was getting if I had maybe….

He disappeared. As soon as the funeral finished, the exact second in fact and he just didn't come back. Then Dad started drinking and I had to age about ten years, I had to be the responsible one. Get a job, stop them from taking the house, drag dad out of countless bars every night and receive drunken abuse about how I'd drove them away and it be better if I had…" Her voice breaks so she quickly clears it wanting to get this all out in one quick pull of the band aid.

"I was twenty one and all of a sudden it felt like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders. Whilst all my friends were out partying I was doing whatever odd job I could to keep my family going, pick up the messes that Dad made of himself, stop him hurting someone else or getting into a stupid situation with some thugs in a bar, stop him from hurting himself anymore than this bottomless pit of depression already was. I used to have these nightmares that one night I'd come out and find him passed out as usual but this time surrounded by pills and not breathing. It was horrible, but do you know what's more horrible? I may have been terrified, distraught but a small part of me was relieved that he was finally at peace with her or something and I wasn't waiting around every second anymore for that call to come saying they had tried all they could but he hadn't made it. How could a daughter think that about their own father?

I'd call Andrew, begging with him, pleading for him to come home and help me. I threw all self pride out the window and sobbed down that phone line and I knew he got the messages. He'd pick up for some of his friends I talked to so I knew he hadn't lost or broken his phone. Our family was falling apart and he stayed away for more than a third of my life, just left us then walks into the precinct, the place where I work to try and find our mother's killer, in that suit with that briefcase asking for things to go back to how they were before! How could he even think that was possible?

Before…we could talk to each other about anything he wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend, of course I don't need anyone to do so but…he protected me, from anyone and anything that posed the smallest threat to me, he said he'd always be there for me. He promised and then he just up and leaves me only to come back all these years later, no postcard, no letter not even a single Christmas card, expecting everything to be okay! How could he think we could just do that? Dad didn't just grieve the loss of his wife but his son; I'm scared how he'll react if Andrew approaches him.

It just, it hurt okay, that the one person I could always rely on, trust with everything just disappeared when life got tough and waits this long! I wont, I can't, ever forgive him and after this he shouldn't expect me to."

During the whole speech she's been playing with the salt and pepper shakers rarely looking up at him but now he finally gets to look in those beautiful eyes of hers and they're full of such sorrow, heartbreak, anger and foremost sadness as she's struggling to keep in the tears that are desperate to escape.

After a while of just staring he clears his throat before trying to think of something to say without putting his foot in it.

"I can't even imagine Kate. What you went through and how it felt and now I know why yours and Andrew's relationship is so torn apart I understand, well I could never understand because I didn't go through what you went through and I understand, well let me think of another word umm… I recognize, no I'm aware that... no. okay I can't think of a word but-" He's babbling and he knows it, it's because he's not used to this extremely open Kate and doesn't know how to react to her.

"I just, I can see how you don't think you can ever forgive him."

His voice though sincere ends a bit too hesitantly like there's something he wants to add but is too afraid of her reaction. Basically…

"I hear a 'but' coming."

"Not really a 'but', just…don't you want to know?"

"Know what?" Her voice is thankfully become calmer by now.

"Where he's been? What he's been doing? Why he hasn't come back until now?"

"He didn't come back because he was being a selfish prick!" And any calmness is gone once again.

"Kate I-"

"Sorry, no sorry. This isn't you're fault and I shouldn't be snapping at you."

"I live with two women detective I'm used to being snapped at when it has nothing to do with me." He's trying to lighten the mood and is rewarded for his efforts with a slight grin that brings a big smile to his face before he schools his expression knowing they're going to need to finish this particular conversation.

"Like I said, I didn't live through all you did and maybe he doesn't deserve forgiveness. But like I said a few weeks, months, years or whatever down the line you may want to know why, when, what, how. You're only human, curiosity is part of our nature and don't you think maybe it would help you? You know to understand and get past him leaving. You said he was such a key figure in your life, when I talked to him I thought he was a pretty nice guy. He told us some story about you and some skittles."

"The one where I go back and pay for like a single one? He always told that one! I don't even understand what's so cute about it!" He's relieved she's acting a bit more cheerful and not mad that he's trying to meddle in her life once again.

"It's adorable." And he's being completely honest, he thinks she's adorable.

"Whatever." She tries to act annoyed but ends up smiling at the complement then trying to hide it behind a menu, but he sees it.

"I just think you should give him a chance Kate, or maybe not even that, just ten minutes. Grab a coffee and put your mind at rest, what's the worst that can happen?"

She stares at him for a while before heaving a sigh.

"Ten minutes?"

"Ten minutes." He nods happy that he's encouraged her into this decision but ultimately she made it herself and this could really help her.

"I don't have his number though or any way to contact him and-"

He halts her excuses by pulling out a card he's extremely glad he took from Andrew and put straight into his wallet.

"Call him." She nods in response. "Then call me. If you need anything."

"Okay."

Shortly after this their food arrives and they eat their meal as they normally would talking about anything and everything; their last case, Alexis and his mother, how the books going and when the next release is targeted for if he'd actually sit down and write something anytime soon. There's laughter and the attempted concealing of laughter. This meal really was a good idea.

They get up to leave and she offers to drive him home but he's feeling like a walk today and that she should get right on calling that brother of hers. He turns to leave when she stops him once again, a hand on his shoulder.

"Castle. Thank you." For dinner, for listening, for telling me to call him. He hears it all within the one word and smiles nodding as he has no words to acknowledge such a sincere apology and the look she's giving him also leaves him speechless.

She truly is extraordinary.

So I am so so so so sorry for the this immense wait but at first I had writers block and every thing I wrote down just sounded terrible, so I apologise if this chapter is not up to some people's standards, then I simply had no time, my life get's so busy I only got to write about a sentence a week if that but I've spread my life out more evenly recently and hope to update much quicker like at least every week if not more frequently. I just opened my email account and saw all of the story alerts etc. and felt horrible for keeping all of you waiting so long so got straight onto it and am now fully committed to updating regularly enough. So I hope you liked the chapter though like I said it doesn't feel like some of my best work. And in the rush to upload I haven't spell or grammar checked so thoroughly so apologies for any mistakes, hope to hear from you all soon!