Of course, I don't own Castle just Andrew and any characters that I bring in along with him!

She picks up the phone before putting it down for the seventeenth time this afternoon. She isn't going to call him. She isn't! But what Castle had said made sense…maybe she should call him…

No! She is not going to call him.

But she is curious; I mean where has he been? Why has he not come back sooner? All the answers are at the end of a phone line…she picks up the phone.

No! Stop doing this! She throws the phone down onto her bed before collapsing next to it face pressed into the sheets muffling "why me"s and "why now"s.

If there was one thing she hated it was self-pity.

She jumps up off the bed dialling the number and hitting the call button before she has time to reconsider. It's ringing. What was she thinking? She can't do this! Not after so long! She's a completely different person now, as is he. She should just hang up now.

"Hello" Oops. Too late.

"An-Andrew?"

"Kate?" His voice is full of wonder, surprise and tinged with disbelief. She hates that.

"You said we could get coffee." It comes out in a rush as it had to; she had to say it before she could stop herself.

"Really?" Now his voice is even more disbelieving and she's getting sick of it. The cute, sweet nervousness that was so endearing as a child annoys her to no end, reminds her that maybe her Andrew is still in there…somewhere. But that's not what she's calling for, she wants answers and that's all. Just answers.

"Look if you don't want t-"

"No, no. Coffee sounds great, really great. I saw this place right by the precinct yesterday, you know it?"

"Yeah I know it. I'll meet you in half an hour?"

"Kate that might be a bit of a problem."

"Do you want to meet or not? Because if not I can just-"

"No, okay fine, just make it an hour I have to sort something out first."

Kate ponders this, what could he be 'sorting out'? She hates to think, he's been gone for years and he could be up to all sorts. But what did she care? She was here for answers and that's all.

"Fine. See you then."

Before she hangs up she hears a quiet "Thank you Kate."

She's glad he'd chosen the coffee shop near the precinct. Her and Castle sometimes grab a coffee there on their way out of the precinct, it's familiar and she needs that right now. Somewhere she feels safe and grounded to meet the man who had abandoned their family in their time of need.

When she arrives she finds him fidgeting in his seat, hands playing with his coffee as he moves it around the table and picks at the cup lid. He's nervous. He could never hide his nerves when he was a child; he'd once been given one line to say in a nativity play and was shaking and stuttering through the whole thing. Maybe he really hasn't changed all that much…

No. There will be none of those kinds of thoughts tonight. She wants answers and that is all.

She waits a minute longer before entering the shop and sitting opposite him at the small table. It's what she'd do with any other suspect, let them stew for a little while longer and just watch the anxiety grow until they're practically spewing the truth out.

"Kate, you came." Still the tone of childlike surprise and delight, he really needs to stop doing that.

"Yeah well, I called didn't I?" It's blunt and rude but she's not too concerned with keeping her manners at the moment as she sips the coffee he'd already ordered for her.

"Yeah, thank you for that by the way, I know I'm not your most favourite person at the moment." She snorts at that because no he is most definitely her favourite person in the whole world right now! "I just mean it must've taken a lot to call after…yesterday and I'm just really grateful you did."

"This isn't forgiveness Andrew, not even close. This isn't going to become some regular thing either. I don't owe you anything because of this. Understand? I just came to get the answers you owe me." Because that's all she's here for, answers.

"I understand." He says around a gulp. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. From the beginning." Because they both know what she means by 'the beginning'?

"When mom was killed, it was like we all went into auto mode." He licks his lips as the words leave his mouth and render them dry. "We didn't talk or even acknowledge it. At first I thought that was a good thing, because as long as we didn't talk about it, it was like it wasn't really real, like it didn't even happen."

He takes a deep calming breath and exhales shakily. "But it did. It did happen and when we went to that funeral. It just felt so wrong. Burying our Mom, the one who was going to change the law on retirement age or just work right into her eighties because they couldn't get rid of her."

Kate lets out a light watery chuckle. That was so their Mom.

"People kept saying they were sorry and offering their condolences. It was making me sick, I mean is that supposed to make it all instantly better? Because someone's sorry for you?

I watched them put our mother in the ground and all that had been building up inside since that horrible night just erupted out of me. I couldn't let you or Dad see that, not that day of all days. So I got in my car and just drove.

I didn't know for how long I had been driving or even where I was going. I just drove and drove until I eventually ran out of gas and had to stop."

"Damn it!" A twenty nine year old Andrew slams the door of his car shut. He's stuck in the middle of nowhere, the only thing he knows about this place is that it's definitely not inside the city. He'll have to walk to the next gas station which is who knows how far away.

Luckily, he doesn't have to walk for too long before he finds one. He goes in to get a tank but quickly realises he's left his wallet in the car.

For Christ's sake! Can anything else go wrong today?

"You alright Stranger?" A man chuckles from behind him.

Andrew turns around to find a short but confident looking man in a smart, expensive suit. Italian maybe. He looks around the same age as Andrew and is carrying a large briefcase; he looks all business, a total contrast to his laid back demeanour.

"My car ran out of gas down the road, I walked here to get a tank for it but left my wallet in the car." He tries to make it sound as nonchalant as possible but deduces from the loud bark of laughter coming from the well-dressed man that he failed miserably.

"Here." The man says whilst opening his wallet revealing a bundle of notes and taking a few out and offering them to Andrew.

"Whoa. How do you earn that kind of money?" He doesn't take the offered notes just yet; it's in his nature to be suspicious of someone with so much money hanging around in a place like this. His parents are…were lawyers after all.

The man chuckles again. "Hard work my friend now you want gas or what?"

Andrew hesitates before taking the offered money.

"I'll go fill up my car, drive right back here and pay you back." He says gratefully paying for the fuel.

"No need, I got plenty where that came from. No worries Stranger."

But his mother always taught Andrew that people never gave something for nothing, not people like him.

"I couldn't." He says quickly but is interrupted again.

"You could and you will! I was going to ask an awfully big favour of you anyway Stranger." Guess Mom was right.

"What favour?" Andrew asks apprehensively.

"Just I need a lift to the nearest airport. My car has broken down and I'm in a bit of a hurry you see so I can't wait around for some mechanic. I understand if it's out of your way but I could make it worth your while."

Andrew thinks about this for a few moments. What's the harm? Andrew has no idea where he's going so it wouldn't exactly be out of his way especially since he's not ready to return to the city just yet. What the hell, why not?

"Sure. You'll just have to give me directions to it, I'm not completely sure where I am right now."

The stranger lets out another laugh and surprises Andrew by pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you Stranger!"

Then he's rushing out of the shop in pursuit of Andrew's car leaving Andrew trailing behind and jogging to keep up.

"What's your hurry?"

The man stops and waits for Andrew to catch up before apologising.

"Sorry I just really am in a rush."

"Sure, it's not too far now."

Andrew spends most of the journey with his foot down noting the anxiety of the so far completely laid back man.

"So where you going?" He asks trying to strike up some conversation.

"What?" The man asks startled.

"The airport? Going on holiday or on a business trip or something."

"Mexico actually for business purposes, but I've always been one for mixing business with pleasure so I might catch a bit of sun and enjoy myself while I'm there."

Andrew smiles genuinely at him "Well you look like you certainly have the money to enjoy yourself. Nice suit by the way." Andrew sniggers eliciting a smile from the man.

"Thanks. So I don't even know your name Stranger, how rude of me."

"Andrew and your not the only one that's being rude I still don't know your name either."

"Mark. Nice to meet you Andrew." Andrew shakes his hand with the hand that isn't on the wheel.

"So where are you headed Andrew?" Mark asks curiously.

"I have no idea." Andrew chuckles sadly.

"Journey of discovery?"

"Something like that." He sighs.

Mark picks up something on the floor of the car.

"Johanna Beckett." He reads aloud.

Andrew snatches the funeral program and shoves it in the glove compartment. Eyes no longer meeting Marks.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine." Andrew snaps a little too harshly so repeats himself a bit more calmly "It's fine, I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped."

"Were you close? The date said it was today."

"She's…she was my mother."

He feels Mark put a friendly comforting hand on his arm and fights the urge to shrug it off immediately.

"I'm sorry man."

Andrew just hums in response as they continue their journey.

They drive for a few hours before Mark announces that it would be best to stop at the next roadside diner and get some coffee, keep them awake for the drive.

"This is good." Mark says sipping at his coffee.

"Better than most coffee I've had from roadside diners."

Suddenly they hear the screeching of wheels and look out of the window just in time to see Andrew's car speeding off into the distance.

He and Mark burst out of their seats but by the time they get outside the diner the car is nowhere to be seen.

"My car!" Andrew yells before he feels a hand on his arm and is suddenly up against the wall, face inches away from an extremely angry looking Mark.

"Your car? YOUR CAR!" My briefcase was in that car!"

Andrew tries to push back but Mark, though smaller than Andrew, is much stronger than he looks and just roughly pushes him against the wall again.

"So buy another one, is whatever's in it that important?"

Suddenly Andrew feels a sharp pain in his nose and… he's bleeding?

"Half a million dollars worth of cocaine important enough for you?" Mark yells before punching him again, this time in the stomach and Andrew feels the bile coming up his throat from the impact but swallows it back down.

"You're a drug dealer!"

Mark's response is a powerful kick to the shin, bringing him to the ground.

"How was I supposed to know my car was going to get stolen? I didn't plan this! Who knows maybe it was one of your druggy friends."

Finally Mark stops his assault and steps back just watching Andrew lay helpless on the ground before he grabs him and pulls him up again.

"Come on we can call a cab from here."

What? This crazy drug dealer thinks he's going to be getting in a cab with him?

"Where are we going?" Andrew asks quietly.

"Mexico. Welcome to my organisation Andrew."

"What do you mean?" Andrew asks startled.

"You just lost me half a million dollars. You're gonna earn back that money."

"Dealing drugs?" Andrew breathes and blinks a few times hoping to wake up and all of this to be some weird wacky dream. All of it.

But he doesn't because it isn't.

"So that's where you've been, dealing drugs?" Kate's voice startles him out of his memories.

Kate looks back on their first meeting at the precinct and can't help but make the comparison. The suit. The briefcase. Had Andrew become Mark?

"And you still are?" She goes to stand; he can't be telling her this. She's a cop and has an obligation to arrest him now he's told her that. What is he playing at?

"No, no! I'm not!" He grabs her arm and pulls her back down.

"I was though." He says breathing a long sigh.

"Mark took me to Mexico and I started dealing for him. He's big there you know, got a lot of power in a lot of places. I couldn't just leave and go home. He would have killed me Kate. So I went with it all and you know what? I got good at it.

Mark taught me the ways of the trade and I built up my strength physically too. I was a menacing threat now almost as big as Mark, at first I was his lackey but by the time I'd worked off the half million I didn't want to go so I stayed on…as Mark' partner."

"Andrew!" Kate whispers harshly.

"What Kate? I'd been there for years and it was all I knew, the money was good and I didn't… I didn't realise the impact I was having on people's lives until later on."

"So you couldn't call once to let me and Dad know you were alive? To answer my messages? I told you how bad it had been!" She whispers angrily.

"I know now Kate but well at first I couldn't come back because of Mark but then… I knew you'd hate me, be disgusted by doing something that Mom fought to put people away for. I thought you'd both be better off without me."

Kate wipes a stray tear aggressively. "Well we are. So why are you here now? What is it? Mark on your back and you need me to bail you out?"

"Mark's in jail."

"What? He got caught?"

"Not exactly."

"Then how…?" Kate asks confusedly.

"I put him there."

She looks so confused he thinks he shouldn't have started with that, explained the story fully instead.

"It started a few years back when I got a knock at my door late one night. I open it and there's this girl, she was an addict that I'd been selling to for a few years but hadn't had word from her in months. We had a thing… she was a nice girl who hadn't had the greatest upbringing so turned to drugs. I…I liked her.

So she turns up at my door and I'm about to ask her in when I hear a little cry…she was holding a baby Kate."

Kate gasps. Could she? Does she? Might she have a little niece or nephew out there somewhere?

"Was it yours?"

A bright smile appears on Andrews face.

"Yeah…yeah she was.

Anyway, so she turns up at my door and tells me she's had a baby, my baby. She's stayed off the drugs for the baby's sake and she's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen Kate. She let me hold her and she was just so…so tiny. I fell head over heels in love.

The girl, Amy's her name, says she wanted the baby to know me but she wants me to give up the drug business like she has and move away somewhere. Start a family with her. And I'm just looking down at this little angel and I can't turn her down. I'd said goodbye to too many good things in my life, I wasn't letting this precious treasure out of my life.

So I went to Mark and I told him everything. I told him I wanted out; he could have all my contacts and money from the drug business he just had to let me go. He tried to talk me out of it at first but I think he could see it was ultimately pointless."

"So you got out?" Kate asks gripped by the story.

"I wish it was so simple…

You see I went to see Amy that night…the door was wide open and the baby was just crying and crying. Amy was…she was unconscious on the sofa. I called an ambulance but it was too late. Drug overdose."

"But I thought she was off the drugs?" Kate's voice pulls him away from the disturbing images of Amy on the sofa that night…

"Exactly. The door was wide open too so… It just all made no sense, well that was until I talked to Mark. 'I did it for your own good Andy. She was going to take your whole life away. You're too good at this to just give up.' God I wanted to kill him. But I didn't, I got clever instead.

I started to see what we did to people. The overdoses and pain caused by the drugs I sold and I knew I couldn't just leave. I had to stop it. Permanently.

I met a cop and told him everything. Of course he wanted to arrest me at first but after I told him how I wanted to take Mark down, one of the biggest dealers exporting drugs into America in Mexico and get on with my life with my baby, he said he'd help me.

We made a deal. I wouldn't go down for anything, could leave the drug dealing world behind and move on no questions asked if I gave them everything: contacts, when the deals are going down, how they exported everything.

We set up a sting; all the big contacts were there as well as Mark. They arrested me too to keep up appearances and sent them all to different prisons all over the country. They tried them all separately so Mark will never know I snitched on him.

I returned to America and have been getting back on my feet ever since, getting a place and a real job."

"Real job?" Kate asks sounding genuinely interested.

"I thought I'd put that degree in accounting to work and called in on some old college friends. One has their own firm right here in New York and took pity on me, gave me a job. I couldn't believe my luck you know, I had no experience at all but he just remembered how good I used to be at it and how I'd once helped him out of a bad situation and well now I'm a real accountant with real clients."

"That…that sounds great Andrew." Maybe her Andrew really was back. Maybe this could be more than answers. Then she realises something. "What about the baby?"

"Oh, right!" A wide smile appears on his face as he pulls out his wallet and hands her a picture of a young girl with brown pigtails and bright green eyes. She's…she's…

"She's beautiful Andrew." She breathes as tears prick her eyes, for the first time this week they're not sad tears, they're happy.

"She really is isn't she?" He says contentedly.

No, she was wrong before, this isn't her Andrew. This is so much better.

"She's why I couldn't come half an hour earlier; I had to sort out a babysitter."

Man had she thought up some wild theories that would rival Castle's earlier when he'd said he had to sort something but she could never have imagined something like this.

"She looks like you as a kid, which can only be a good thing since you've turned out well…"

"You think she looks like me?" Kate's voice cracks a little.

"Can't you see it?"

Then he pulls out a picture that Kate hasn't seen for years that leaves her breathless. He kept it? After all these years?

It's a picture of her and Andrew at her first carnival smiling at the camera mouths full of cotton candy; it was one of the best days of Kate's childhood

"See." He says putting them next to each other. "Practically twins apart from I think you were five and she's just about to turn four."

She has to admit there are a lot of similarities between them and it makes her heart swell.

"She has your nose." She says sweetly.

"Really?" Andrew says breathlessly he'd never been able to see much of himself in his little girl which makes him sad but also a little glad, he wants her to turn out nothing like how he did. He'll make sure she stays on the right side of the law, hopefully with Kate's help.

"Yeah" Kate says softy, nodding encouragingly at him.

He takes one more breath leaving the pictures on the table for her to look at

"So that's why I'm back now. Because Emma, oh right I never told you her name was Emma, well Emma and I are finally settled, I have a job and a great apartment. A few months back I thought I had everything then I opened my wallet one morning and saw the picture of us and…I knew the one thing I was missing because God I missed you and Dad so much.

None of this story is an excuse. I should have called. I should have come back and I'm sorry I didn't. I hope you've gotten the answers you want and deserve and maybe want to do this again?"

He asks it so hesitantly and looks so scared.

"Dad grieved for you as well as Mom you know, so it'll come as a shock and we'll have to approach him carefully but… I don't see why we can't do this again. I…I missed you too. But this doesn't mean you're forgiven just like that. Slow and steady right?"

His smile gets so wide she thinks he's going to actually split his face in two or something, then he's on his feet and hugging her and she can't help but melt into the embrace. After a moment he jumps back.

"Sorry! Sorry I didn't mean to push I just… that's so great. Thank you Kate. Thank you so much for this chance."

She has to smile at his excitement before picking up the pictures on the table and glancing at their one more time before handing them over.

"Keep them." He says quickly confusing her.

"I have lots of copies, I made sure of it."

"Thanks."

She takes the photos slowly and slips them into her bag.

"It's getting late and I have to work in the morning."

Kate doesn't really want to go; she wants to hear about her beautiful niece but knows she has to do the sensible thing right now.

"Okay but come to her birthday party. She turns four on Saturday and it's going to be my first throwing of a birthday party and I could really use some support and help otherwise you might turn up anyway to investigate my murder by a bunch of four year olds."

She giggles at the image and can't help but say yes to a chance to meet her little niece.

"Sure it sounds fun."

They walk out of the coffee shop neither sure what to do.

"So all of that was true? The drug dealing? Mark?"

"Check your databases if you must he'll be on there going down for a very long time."

"I do believe you it's just wow. You were a drug dealer and now you're a Dad. You!"

They both laugh at that.

"See you Saturday Kate."

Then they're hugging again and she realises just how much she's missed his hugs. She allows herself to relax into it but not for too long. She understands now, but the pain of those years alone is still so fresh and she'll need time to get past all of that, to truly forgive him.

They walk off in different directions until she hear him call after her.

"Oh and bring someone if you want. Anyone."

Then he's walking of laughing. Anyone? Oh no. She can't help groaning at the thought that her brother has only been back in her life for about five minutes and he's already teasing her about…something.

Who's she kidding? About Castle.

What the hell had he told Andrew yesterday?

Then she just laughs, because she doesn't even care. She's meeting her niece on Saturday.

So I'm a liar. Sorry! I really thought I'd have more time to write but I have been soooooo busy. I won't make a promise this time about uploading frequently because I now know I can't keep that promise, I'll write as much as I can as I love writing for fanfiction like a lot. I've also not uploaded for ages as I've been working on a few other ideas when I wasn't busy so you may see me uploading something new soon on top of this, but no promises again.

So I hope you like this chapter, it literally came out of nowhere when I thought where could Andrew have been. Sorry again if there's any mistakes because I just wanted to upload for you guys asap. But it is longer so you have to give me credit for that :')

Thanks everyone who's reviewed and story alerted etc. they really make me happy and proud so really thank you so much.

And don't forget to review this chapter! Xxx