The Woods Are Dark and Deep

by Blue Jeans

Chapter 7

For the first time in a long time I went out to greet the late morning sun. I was still a little dizzy but after I had some food, I felt better. Sen came and helped me pick something out from my old trunk, clothes I have not touched or worn in years. She wrinkled her nose at the dust and tried hard not to sneeze. I apologized to her for the state of the house, but she only waved it away and then proceeded to help me get dressed.

I almost laughed at the expression she wore after we were done. While helping me get ready, Sen explained to me Kimigiku's absence. Apparently, since we had a good guess on where Kaoru was headed, Sen decided it was best for Kimigiku to scout ahead and see what he was up to. While I was not well enough to travel and, apparently, no one wanted to risk Kazama's wrath by leaving him behind, information gathering was the best we could do.

I absorbed everything Sen told me while we got ready. She got my hair into something of a more elaborate bun then I would have done on my own, and I helped brush out hers, tying it up in the style she seemed to like. I never had a friend before and doing this made me feel better. I felt normal, almost like the human girls I used to only observe in the marketplace, sharing secrets and laughter with each other while I watched envious and afraid. I was really glad Sen was here now, and when we were done she suggested we go shopping in the afternoon.

From there, we moved on to lighter subjects that did not concern Kaoru, my father, or the furies. I didn't think it was possible, but Sen made my house livable again. Apparently, she had put Amagiri to work and we found him patching the roof on our way out after a quick lunch.

Even from the distance, we both saw his eyes widen at us. "Yukimura-dono?" there was definitely a question in his voice. We looked at each other and laughed at his reaction.

"That's me, Amagiri-san," I answered back cheerfully.

"Chizuru-chan and I are going to town to do some shopping," Sen told him. "Put your back into it and be ready with dinner when we return!" She ordered him good-naturedly.

Amagiri visibly sighed but assented and waved us farewell as we left. "I think he forgot you were a girl," Sen told me later as we walked arm in arm down the road.

"He's not the only one," I answered with a wry smile. I myself had forgotten what it was like to be in my old clothes again. I almost missed how much easier it was to move in my boy-clothes, but it was nice to be seen as a girl again.

"Do you think, Kazama-san would wear the same expression when he sees you in a kimono?" Sen asked, a wicked gleam in her eyes.

I looked at her, not quite sure how to respond. Obviously, laughing at the picture in my head at what Kazama might look like surprised was my first instinct and the idea was almost too delicious to let go of. But, with the utmost control, I suppressed it so that only a smile came. How wide that smile was, I had no control over. "He's always looking rather stiff, do you think his face can do it?" I asked teasingly back. Sen blinked at my response before she gave a hearty laugh. Now I really wanted to know how Kazama would respond to me in my traditional dress. He certainly hadn't seemed surprised when I put on western clothes and that was a huge change for even me. "However, I don't know if we can use Amagiri-san's reaction to judge how Kazama would react." Kazama was definitely far more arrogant and mysterious, annoyingly so usually.

Sen giggled, obviously she was having no problems imagining Kazama surprised and laughing at him for it. We went through the town, buying groceries mostly. Sen chattered and I enjoyed her topics. I never really knew what it was like to have a friend like her until then and I was, for the first time in a long time, truly happy. Everything was a kind of a blur until something caught my eye. I stopped and turned to see a deep crimson silk sash in a fabric stall that had caught my attention. Sen paused with me and followed my gaze, curious as to what had stopped me in my tracks. A sly smile came over her lips though I didn't notice it until it was too late.

"Remind you of someone's eyes?" Sen asked, elbowing me lightly and breaking me out of my daze.

"Wh-what... no!" I said a little too quickly and defensively.

Sen giggled before giving me a genuine smile. "Isn't this better?" she asked instead. "Being able to shop for someone you like?"

I blushed but Sen already guessed that Kazama and my relationship had changed since that night I chose to go with him to Edo. While I had not yet told anyone about the kiss, I had a sinking feeling that Sen would probably dig it out of me before we left to chase after Kaoru. "It seems like a nice gift," I said shyly. "He's helped me a lot."

Sen nudged me again, her smile giving me confidence in my choice. "I think you should buy it!" We smiled at each other and I finally nodded. By the time we got back, we were laughing and talking again, as if we had always known each other and this was something we did often.

Surely, I had never known this until now...

The smell of food wafted to our noses when we stepped through the gate. "Amagiri-san sure is multi-talented," I commented. It had been such a long time since I had really thought of it as a home. Since my father's death, it seemed like such a cold, empty and forbidding place to me. Now when I think of it, I think of Sen's laughter and Amagiri's quiet but respectful presence, protecting us from whatever dangers there might be.

Sen grinned. "He's also a big push-over," she pointed out with a mischievous smile. Despite her words I could see that Sen really liked him. It was, actually, hard not to like Amagiri. Just a little while ago this thought would have been completely foreign to me, but now I realized that this was also how I had felt about the Shinsengumi before I got to know them.

Over dinner, I even got to see the serious Amagiri laugh. Sen just had that energy about her. It was really vibrant and contagious. Even though I had seen first-hand her serious and confident side, I really liked this side of her more. I felt she probably didn't get to show it as often as she would have wished. As time went on, I could understand Kimigiku's devotion to her lady, and that Sen's people must really love her a lot.

This type of peaceful living lasted a few more weeks. Like I had predicted, Sen was able to dig the fact that Kazama kissed me out of my reluctant mouth. There had been a momentary shout of disbelief from her that I had to muffle with my hands, for fear it would bring Amagiri running to her aid. Afterwards, every once in a while I would catch her looking at me with something of a smugness that made me squirm. I had no doubt she would use it to Kazama's detriment.

Still, I had wished that it would never end.

I had forgotten what it was like to not be in the midst of war and worry. Even though I did miss Kazama, Sen's presence made everything bright and bearable, even happy. Yet, it was still a selfish wish. I had duties too. Sen was not the only one who was the leader of her clan, for I also held that responsibility. Despite the fact that we should have been glad that Kimigiku arrived safe and unharmed, with her our small, momentary peace was shattered again.

To be continued...