I must confess...It will take me some getting used to updating every Friday. I almost forgot...*hangs head* But I remembered! XD So that is a good thing lol. Read and review, flame if you must.
Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.
Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the Kuroshitsuji characters.
"Good morning Dr. Michaelis," Mey-rin chirped as she caught sight of Sebastian walking in through the main door of the office. He sent a small smile to the nurse and quickly made his way into the back and towards the room he had claimed as his personal office.
Sebastian set his briefcase down and grabbed for his white medical coat that hung on a coat rack by the door. It was still early in the morning, and sleep was just beginning to leave him. He yawned and turned to inspect the appointments he had for the day.
The list wasn't too long, and it seemed as if it would be a short day. He had a few simple consults with possible new patients and then a few check-ups with individuals currently in treatment. Papers were thrown back onto the desk and Sebastian fell into his chair. His hand came up to press into his face, rubbing into the corners of his eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes to regard the phone.
It had been eerily quiet for the past couple of days, and it unnerved Sebastian. He was annoyed that he was so eager for that phone to ring, and to get the call that had been plaguing his mind far too often. Since the day Ciel Phantomhive stepped out of Sebastian's office the older man could not stop thinking about the boy. He couldn't place the reason for the attraction; whether it be the haunted look in those clear blue eyes or the boy's obvious withdrawal from others around him. What ever the reason, Sebastian felt a connection with the boy and a need to fix what he could.
Sebastian reached for the folder of his first patient of the day, stopping mid-reach as the shrill ring of the phone blared in his office. He quickly turned toward the clock on the wall, seeing that it was only beginning to inch into the tenth hour of the day, and then back to the phone. With a quick movement he snatched it up, greeting the caller with a quick "Hello, Dr. Michaelis speaking" before proceeding to hold his breath.
"Hello, Dr. Mich- I mean, Sebastian. It's Ciel Phantomhive."
A relief washed over Sebastian, soon replaced by anxiety. He was very well aware that this conversation could end one of two ways. By the end of this call Ciel would either be forever out of Sebastian's life or a big part of it; at least for the next year.
"I wasn't expecting a call so soon from you," Sebastian said. "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine," Here Ciel paused, as if trying to decide what to say next. He took a deep breath, "I made a decision. I'm going to go through the treatments."
"That's good to hear." Sebastian smiled despite himself. He felt a weight lift from him, and reclined back into his chair. "Would you like to set up an appointment to go through the formalities before treatment?" There was a pause in which Sebastian looked over his schedule for the day. "I have an opening this evening at four."
"As far as I know, four is fine. If I find out that it's not, I'll call back," Ciel said.
"Sounds good," Sebastian said. "I'll see you then." The phone was hung up and Sebastian grabbed a pen to quickly scrawl Ciel's name into his four o'clock spot. The boy would be his last patient of the day, giving Sebastian the luxury of spending as much time as needed with Ciel and his mother.
Feeling in far better spirits Sebastian stood from his desk and moved quickly towards the door. His first appointment would be in ten minutes and he still had things that needed to be done. With one last look towards the phone Sebastian left; smug smirk in place.
After hanging up with Sebastian, Ciel had his dog lead him to where Rachel was. "Mom, I called the doctor, and I have an appointment this evening at four. You can take me then, right?"
Rachel poked her head out of the kitchen where she was currently preparing a late breakfast. "I'm in the kitchen Ciel," she called, hoping her son would hear her, and if not him then at least the dog. Either way, they would both get to her soon enough she knew. Rachel waited until a familiar mop of raven hair came into view and she smiled. "So an appointment at four?" She asked. "I can take you, and I think your father might join us as well; he's getting home early today."
"Oh, that will be nice. That way, he can meet Sebastian before my treatment starts," Ciel leaned against the counter. "I'm still nervous about the injections though, and having to stay at the hospital overnight."
"You'll be fine dear," Rachel reassured as she flipped a pancake. "Plus you'll have Sebastian there; he seems like a very nice man, and he did say you could always call us." She handed Ciel a plate of food, telling him as she did so that Ciel could bring his hands up to hold it. Once Rachel was sure her son had everything under control, she went back to her cooking.
Ciel sniffed the pancakes appreciatively as he carefully walked towards the small table. "He does seem nice," he agreed. "He's doing everything he can to make me comfortable, which is a good thing. I don't need to have any of my anxiety attacks while I'm there. It wouldn't be a very good impression." Sitting down, he began to cut the food with his knife. "Will you be okay, though? I know that you're used to having me here where you can keep an eye on me."
The kitchen was silent for a moment as Rachel finished up her cooking and began cleaning. "I wouldn't worry about me dear. I'm a big girl, I'll be just fine." She patted Ciel on the shoulder like she did so often, knowing he could not see her reassuring smiles. There was no doubt that she would miss Ciel on those nights when he would be forced to stay at the hospital, but Rachel knew it was for the better.
Ciel smiled, reaching up to squeeze his mom's hand. "I'm sure you will be fine. You and Dad could have some quiet nights, maybe even go out to dinner or a movie together." The three of them didn't go out to eat very often since Ciel was uncomfortable in public places, and Vincent and Rachel rarely went out together because they never knew when Ciel would have a panic attack. One of them always stayed behind with Ciel. Ciel felt bad that they didn't have much of a social life anymore, but he hoped that soon, all of the anxiety he still had over the Incident would vanish.
Rachel seemed to think this over for a moment. "I think you're right. In fact your father still owes me for missing our anniversary last year," she said with a laugh. "Some alone time might do us some good."
Ciel ate a few bites of his pancake before slipping a small piece to Sebastian. He didn't always feed Sebastian people food, but every once in a while he would allow him to have something small. "Dad's always working, and you're always taking care of me. It's no wonder you don't have any alone time," he gave a small chuckle before sobering. "Do you regret it, Mom?"
Silence filled the kitchen once more and Rachel found herself unsure to how to answer. Sighing she walked over to Ciel, kneeling down next to him and taking his unused hand into her own. "I don't regret it," she said earnestly. "Nor do I regret any moment I am able to spend with you. Life is never perfect, but you have to be thankful for the things you do have." With that said she leaned up and placed a quick kiss to Ciel's cheek. "Now finish up before your food gets cold."
"Okay." Ciel continued to eat, mulling over his mom's words. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to ask that question. He had always known how much his parents had sacrificed for him, but he'd known that they helped him because they loved him. He realized with a start that he couldn't remember the last time he had thanked them.
Quickly gulping down the last few bites of his pancake, Ciel picked up his plate and carried it over to the sink, placing it in and running some water over it so the remnants of the syrup didn't stick. "Mom?" He held his hand out, a silent request for her to show where she was standing.
Rachel reached her hand for her son's, giving it a light squeeze. "Do you want some more pancakes?" She asked, picking up the plate when Ciel shook his head. Moving away, she went to finish up cleaning the dishes and storing the leftovers to be put in the refrigerator.
"Thanks, for everything you've done for me. It couldn't have been easy, and you two could have decided to send me away to a boarding school. But I'm glad you didn't," he smiled, and Sebastian barked to show his appreciation, too.
"Enough of this," Rachel happily scolded. "Now get upstairs and get ready. We have a busy day today."
"Okay," Ciel snapped his fingers to call his dog over. When he had gotten a grip on the handle, Sebastian led him upstairs. Ciel could feel the start of anxiety worming its way through his body. Today, after the appointment at four, his life would begin to change. Whether for the better or worst, he wasn't quite sure yet.
Sebastian glanced at the clock, his tenth time that hour, only to see he still had fifteen minutes before four o'clock. He sighed and looked back towards his paperwork. His last patient had given him a long list of medical issues and Sebastian was hesitant to allow the individual to go through treatment. It did not help that Sebastian found himself not caring to think about his present patients at the moment and only have one blue eyed boy in his mind.
The connection he felt towards Ciel was as boggling as it had ever been, not allowing him to make any sense of it. "Dammit," he cursed, pushing aside his work for when he would be able to actually focus. Mey-rin passed by at that minute, poking her head in.
"Are you alright sir?" she asked.
Sebastian waved the concern aside, not needing it at the moment. "I'm fine." He gave her a reassuring smile, which she took with a blush.
"Oh, well..." She drifted off nervously. "The Phantomhives are here, and waiting in room three."
It didn't take Mey-rin prompting him to attend to them; Sebastian stood up almost immediately and moved towards the door. "Thank you," he said as he passed her and rushed down the hall.
Room three was only a few doors down, and the only room with the door currently closed. Sebastian stood in front of it for a moment, collecting himself and sighing deeply. When ready, he knocked once, and proceeded to open the door.
Ciel glanced over at the sound of the door opening. The smell of cologne wafted over to him, and he instantly recognized it as the scent that Sebastian had worn the day of their first meeting. He smiled, knowing that from this moment on, the smell of old spice would remind him of Sebastian. It was one way for him to identify who was with him in the room. "Sebastian," he greeted the doctor. He could sense someone staring at him and realized that it was his father. Ciel cringed inwardly, knowing that his father most likely disapproved of the lack of respect Ciel was showing to Sebastian.
Sebastian paused, slightly surprised that Ciel had been able to tell that it was him despite being more then a few minutes early. "It's good to see you again Ciel," he said with a smile before turning to the boys parents. Rachel was there once again with who Sebastian could only guess to be Ciel's father; the man looked identical to his son.
"Good evening Mrs. Phantomhive," Sebastian greeted. "And you must be Mr. Phantomhive." He held out his hand towards the other man. "I'm Dr. Michaelis, but please call me Sebastian."
Vincent returned the introduction with his own, but didn't say more then that. He simply sat back and allowed his wife to do the talking, and surprisingly his son. "I hope we're not inconveniencing you with such a sudden appointment," Rachel said.
"Of course not." Sebastian waved away the apology. "I was the one to suggest it after all."
"Earlier today on the phone, you said that there were formalities to go through," Ciel spoke. "And during our first appointment a few days ago, you mentioned that we would have to sign release forms stating that we understand the risks involved. That's why we're here, correct?"
Sebastian nodded, a smirk upturning the corners of his mouth. "You don't waste any time do you, Mr. Ciel Phantomhive," Sebastian teased, pulling out multiple papers and forms. A set were passed to Ciel's parents and then a special braille version to Ciel. "Those are the release forms; look them over carefully before signing."
Ciel's fingers trailed over the raised dots as he slowly read each word, making sure that he understood everything. According to the forms, the hospital would not be held responsible for any complications that might arise, since the treatment was still new. After finishing, Ciel carefully signed his name and dated it, trying to make sure that the letters stayed even, and handed the papers back to Sebastian.
"Here you are," he said. "When do the treatments start?"
The papers were taken and Sebastian placed them into Ciel's personal file. "We'll start Monday with some tests to determine the extent of the damage done to the Occipital lobe and where it is concentrated. Once we have a better understanding of your situation we'll begin the actual treatment." Sebastian sat back into his rolling stool and pushed himself to the counter, placing the file on the granite surface.
Vincent now spoke. "Ciel said that the treatment consists of injections. Is that the only way?" He asked, casting a sideways glance at his son.
"Unfortunately yes; it's the only way for us to make sure that the medication reaches the designated area." Sebastian glanced sadly at Ciel, seeing how stiff and on edge the poor boy was. "If it helps, we can always give you something to calm you," he said to Ciel.
Ciel gave a slow nod. "That would probably be best. Needles and I don't exactly get along." He pressed a hand to his forehead in a futile attempt to keep his rising anxiety at bay. His other hand clenched the material of his jeans, which he decided was better than drawing blood from his fingernails biting into his palm.
"We'll give you something nice, and that'll make you feel quite giddy," Sebastian laughed, trying to ease the tension in the air. "Now, let's get some information on you. Any allergies, medications you're on, history of heart disease or cancer in the family..." Multiple things were listed off, Rachel and Ciel answering them left and right.
Ciel squirmed, slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed when they mentioned that he was taking anxiety medication for post-traumatic stress disorder. While most people who were old enough to remember eight years ago knew what had happened, they only knew part of the story. The Incident had left Ciel scarred, both physically and mentally. He worried that Sebastian might think he was insane.
Sebastian made no mood to question Ciel's medications, he could already see the boy was uncomfortable at the mere mention of them. He quickly wrapped up the remaining information he needed and added the document to Ciel's folder. "Now Ciel, if you'd like I could take you on a small tour of our facilities. I'll even show you where you'll be staying during your nights here."
Rachel made a motion as if she wanted to come along as well but Sebastian quickly turned to Ciel's parents to address them. "Mey-rin has some papers for you to fill out concerning your payment options and you may also begin to plan for future appointments," Sebastian explained.
"Now then Ciel." Sebastian held out his hand, fingers brushing against Ciel's as he attempted to help the boy down.
Ciel almost pulled his hand away, but instead gritted his teeth and accepted Sebastian's help. If he was going to be staying here and receiving treatments, then he would need to get used to other people touching him. "Where are we going first?" He asked, removing his hand from Sebastian's as soon as his feet were on solid ground and reaching out to grab his dog's harness.
"Would you like to meet some of the doctors and nurses that'll be helping you?" Sebastian asked as he guided Ciel out of the room, hand on the boy's upper back. He pushed Ciel along at a gentle pace, trying to keep the boy comfortable as best he could. Tension could be seen, and felt, in the way Ciel held himself; back stiff and jaw tight. "I'm glad you decided to come back," Sebastian admitted as they rounded a corner, and headed towards one of the labs.
Ciel blinked. "Oh? And why's that?" He questioned, even though he thought he knew the answer. The more patients a doctor had, the more money he made. And if the patients were treated successfully, his reputation also grew. The desire for money and fame, Ciel decided, were the two traits that many people shared.
"Because I want to help you," Sebastian answered honestly. "I want to give you your sight." There was so much more Sebastian felt like he could say, but nothing sounded quite as appropriate as what he allowed himself to admit.
Ciel digested that piece of information. Perhaps what Sebastian was saying was true. Maybe he really did want to help him and wasn't after the money and fame. He seemed nice enough, Ciel concluded, but he had learned early on that you can't trust everyone.
The two of them reached the nurse's station, and Ciel felt the anxiety pressing down on him. He was always apprehensive about meeting new people, and he gripped the harness so tight his knuckles turned white. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he took another step, but his legs were trembling so badly that he stumbled.
Mey-rin waved as they passed by, Sebastian only slowing a fraction. "You've already met Mey-rin more or less," he said, the woman waving happily to Ciel. Sebastian went to move on, but stopped as they rounded another corner. The further they went, the paler Ciel seemed to get. Every muscle in the boys body seemed stiff and it worried Sebastian.
It didn't take a genius to see that Ciel was apprehensive of meeting the other doctors and nurses. With a heavy sigh Sebastian came to a decision. "We don't have to meet everyone today," he began. "If you'd like, I can bring you to you room and we can sit there for a while and just talk. You can ask me questions you might not have wanted to ask with your parents around, or we could just talk about the weather."
Ciel nodded, seeming very relieved that Sebastian suggested that. "That sounds good," he said weakly. He despised the fact that he was so scared, and embarrassed that Sebastian had picked up on it. But there was very little that he could do. The medicine he was on did help, but it didn't take away the fear completely. With each step that he took, his breathing became heavier and more ragged.
His dog halted, sensing that Ciel was in no condition to walk. He barked once to alert Sebastian, then turned towards his master and licked his hand.
Sebastian got to the boy's side before Ciel could fall to his knees. The dog whined as Sebastian swept Ciel up into his arms and hurried towards the room Ciel would be staying in soon enough. He pushed open the door and flicked the light on with his elbow. Everything flooded with light and both males had to blink at the suddenness of it all.
"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked as soon as he laid Ciel down safely on the bed.
Ciel could only nod, not trusting his voice enough to speak. He vaguely realized that he was lying down and that Sebastian hovered over him. He unconsciously pressed back into the mattress, attempting to put some space in between himself and the doctor. Bile rose in his throat, but he quickly forced it down. He wouldn't embarrass himself further by throwing up all over himself.
A hand came down to brush dark locks of hair out of Ciel's eyes, sweat already forming on the young man's face. Sebastian felt concern well within him as he caught Ciel's rapid and harsh breathing and frightened eyes. It was easy to tell that Ciel was not alright despite what the boy might say.
"Hush," Sebastian cooed. "It's okay, breathe; in and out, in and out. Everything is fine, you're okay." He continued to pat Ciel's head, hoping to comfort.
Within a few minutes, Ciel had calmed down. His dog whined and moved closer to the bed, and Ciel reached over and patted him on the head. "I'm okay, boy." His cheeks turned a dull red and he wouldn't look at Sebastian. "Um...thank you."
"Not a problem." Sebastian smiled but didn't further comment on the happening. What ever the situation, it seemed that Ciel was both familiar and uncomfortable about it. Even if Sebastian was curious as to the cause, he wasn't going to ask about it if it didn't pertain to the treatment. "Well, I suppose this is as good of time as any... Welcome to your room." Sebastian stood up and gestured around the modestly sized room.
Ciel nodded. He would have to do some exploring around the room to find where everything was located. The mattress wasn't the most comfortable one, but it wasn't bad, since he would only be staying over the weekend. Besides, he had a feeling that he wouldn't be getting much sleep anyway. "What all can I bring when I stay overnight?"
"Clothes, toiletries, books, and I'll allow you to bring an MP3 player if you like, but no cell phones." Sebastian watched as Ciel's hands reached out to touch the things around him. "You're free to get up and explore," he offered when it seemed Ciel was reluctant to move from the bed.
"Okay." Ciel swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood to his feet. He felt his dog press against his leg and reached for the harness. It would be better if he were led around the room first so he could become accustomed to where everything was. He patted the animal's head then chuckled. "I think I should give one of you a nickname. That way, you know which one I'm talking to."
Sebastian chuckled and reclined himself on the bed. "That might be for the best. I'll admit it's confusing trying to figure out who you're talking to. You'll end up having me sitting, begging, and coming like a dog." He reached his hand out to stroke the dog as Ciel passed by, being sure to keep his legs out of the way so he didn't accidentally trip the boy.
Ciel gave a small smile. "I sometimes call him Seb, so that's probably what I'll do." He concentrated on counting the steps from the end of the bed to the far side of the room. Turning back towards Sebastian's direction, he walked back to the bed and turned to the left. "Is there a window in here?"
"Unfortunately no; all the bedrooms are located in the middle of the building. Only the two rooms at the far end of the hall have windows." Currently one of them would soon be opened to a new patient, the previous one having finished their treatment. Thinking it over Sebastian added, "But if you'd like a window, I could reassign you rooms."
"No, that's okay. I don't want to be a bother. Besides, I feel safer without any windows in a place I don't know." Ciel thought back to his window seat in his bedroom at home. While he enjoyed sitting there, windows made him extremely nervous. You never knew when someone might break in through one.
Sebastian shrugged his shoulders and stood. "Whatever you want. I just want you comfortable here." His hand went to rest on Ciel's shoulder once more. The gesture was quickly becoming a habit despite Ciel's obvious dislike towards it. "If there is anything I can do to make your stay better, then please don't hesitate to ask."
Ciel nodded. "Okay." He generally was an easy person to please because he hated being a burden to anyone. He'd struggled to be independent when he'd first been blinded, but had to rely on his parents' help until he got Seb. Having a seeing eye dog enabled him to do different things, even though he rarely ventured outside of the house.
He explored the room a bit more, making sure that he knew where the bathroom was located. Later, when he was all alone in the room, he would measure the distance from the bed to the bathroom while running. Some dreams he had caused him to become physically sick, and he didn't want to get sick on the floor. That would lead to embarrassing questions, to which he would reply, I'm fine.
"So, how do you like it?" Sebastian asked after a long while, enjoying as he watched Ciel shuffle about. He mentally kicked himself when he almost laughed when Ciel bumped into a low table. It wasn't professional or nice, but the boy had looked so cute with the surprised fluster that painted his face.
"It's nice," Ciel said politely. There wasn't much else he could say about the room. He had no idea what color the walls were painted or what color the floor was. Any decorations that might be scattered throughout the room held no significance to him. He couldn't see them, so he really didn't care if they were there or not. But all in all, the room was a decent size, and there didn't seem to be much furniture, which made it easier for him to move around.
Sebastian nodded and moved away towards the door. "If you want anything moved around or extracted, then it can be done. I know a few patients preferred when the room was bare aside from the bed and a dresser." It was sad when Sebastian received a patient who feared their lack of sight, having to be in wide and open areas lest they were to bump into something. Those patients were always the hardest to inform when the treatment was not working accordingly. Sebastian hoped he would never have to give that news to Ciel.
"The room is fine. Most of the rooms in my house are huge and have large pieces of furniture all over, so if I can maneuver around there, I'm pretty sure I can handle one small room," Ciel smiled. "Plus I have Seb, and he's a great dog. He always makes sure that I don't get left behind or run over." He gave the animal an affectionate pat on the head.
"Still, if we can make anything easier on you..." Sebastian trailed off, he didn't want to begin sounding like a broken record, but he wanted to reassure Ciel that everything would be okay here. He continued to stand by the door as Ciel stood, his hand running along the corner of a table. "Just tell me when you're ready to leave, but there's no rush. I'm sure your parents are still working on paper work."
Ciel didn't hear Sebastian speaking. He was too absorbed in thoughts and worrying about the treatment he was about to undergo. Needles brought back bad memories, and he was still apprehensive about staying overnight at the hospital. Being in this room and filling out the necessary paperwork made it seem more real, and he realized that he was about to begin one of the biggest changes of his life.
Silence consumed the room, and Sebastian shifted back over to the bed when it seemed Ciel wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. The boy just stood there staring at a painting on the wall, and Sebastian momentarily forgot that Ciel couldn't see the abstract designs on the canvas. Ciel was looking at nothing, and it was then that Sebastian realized that the boy was once again deep in thought. Whether good or bad, Sebastian had yet to discern.
Ciel subconsciously gripped the edge of the table so tightly, his knuckles turned white. He could see it all very clearly in his mind. The people laughing in the shadows, the knives glinting in the dim candlelight, the needles dripping an unknown liquid...
Seb whined and rubbed his head against Ciel's leg, trying to break the spell that he was under, but it didn't work. He then glanced back at Sebastian and barked once before returning his attention to his master.
In an instant Sebastian was on his feet moving across the room to Ciel. The blank and fearful look in the boy's eyes told Sebastian that whatever Ciel's mind had consumed him in was anything but good. Sweat was already beading at Ciel's brow and a slight tremor raced through his frame. Sebastian could see the small hand shaking from fright and he moved quickly to shake Ciel from the terrible daydream.
His hand reached out, tender and gentle in its touch. "Ciel," Sebastian called, voice soft and cautious as he shook the boy's shoulder.
Ciel's body jolted, and he let out a small shriek. He lashed out with his hand at the person who had startled him from his dark memories, intent on fighting if need be. At the last second, he remembered where he was. He wasn't captive. He wasn't in a cage. He was in a hospital room with his doctor and his dog.
He was safe.
Ciel's hand barely touched Sebastian's face, but he could feel the older male's breath ghosting across his palm. His hand twitched closer by a centimeter, and he felt Sebastian's lips. They were soft, yet firm. His thumb trailed slightly over the bottom lip, and he found he couldn't move away.
There was something about his doctor, his voice and his lips. Ciel felt an unfamiliar feeling course through him, and he still stood there, fingers pressed to Sebastian's lips, eyes wide and breathing uneven.
Seconds that felt like minutes passed as Sebastian tried to comprehend the sudden situation. He stood still, the warm weight on his lips foreign but pleasant. Scarlet eyes gazed down into unseeing blue, and Sebastian felt reality's terrible weight fall upon his shoulders. Carefully he took Ciel's hand in his own and moved those fingers away from his face, and dropping the hand back at Ciel's side.
"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked, trying to bring some normality and familiarity back into the atmosphere of the room.
Ciel slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay..." He took a deep breath and took a step back, awkwardly shifting his weight. His fingers tingled from where they had touched Sebastian's lips, and he was unsure of what to do or say. "Um...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak out on you like that..."
Sebastian waved him off, smiling and shaking his head. "It's alright," he said, moving towards the door. The room was feeling too small, too stifling all of a sudden and he needed out. "Why don't we see if your parents are done." Ciel was ushered out, Sebastian following. As the door shut closed, Sebastian allowed the situation and the unsettling feeling to leave him, locking it away in that room.
Only the tingle on his lips remained. Ciel's touch wasn't so easily discarded.