Chapter 5

A/N I don't own Merlin, or the BBC. But if I did, it would be awesome.

Arthur had not uttered a word since he had seen Merlin's magic on the other hand Gwaine had not shut up.

"Always knew you were special Merlin" Gwaine said in wide eyed amazement.

Merlin grunted in reply casting a worried glance at Arthur who looked like a zombie, expressionless and just walking.

"So can you do cool stuff then?" Gwaine asked

"Cool stuff?" Merlin queried. Gwaine sighed in exasperation.

"Can you fly?"

"Never tried." Merlin answered staring at Arthur again.

"But could you?" Gwaine pestered.

"Possibly."

"Right, could you breathe fire?" Gwaine said enthusiastically "You could be like a dragon!"

"I'd have to be rude and annoying to be a dragon." Merlin muttered.

"What?" Gwaine paused in his impersonation of a dragon to frown at Merlin "What are you on about?"

"Nothing, look I'm not in the mood for jokes." Merlin said sharply as his head started to throb.

"Right, is that because you're tired of Arthur being a pain?" Gwaine asked knowingly.

"It's you who's being a pain." Merlin growled at his smiling friend who was literally bouncing as he walked his hair fluttering about his ears. Gwaine seemed to have a thick skin as he wasn't bothered at all by what Merlin had said.

"Right you are mate, maybe you should go talk to dollop head and we should probably sort this out before we meet the others." Merlin couldn't rein in his surprise it always socked him when Gwaine could go from joking ruffard to wise knight in milliseconds.

Merlin left Gwaine to swear as he started the fire and approached the very still Arthur.

"Sire?" Merlin asked, Arthur didn't react his mouth was partly agate and his expression hadn't really changed since Merlin had told him about his magic, but at least he hadn't fainted. Merlin steeled himself and slapped Arthur across the face. His head jerked back and his expression morphed into anger as he stared at Merlin.

"What the hell was that for?" He shouted loudly, Merlin could hear Gwaine chuckling under his breath as he attempted again to light the fire.

"Just needed your attention." Merlin said weakly, shrugging his shoulders as he spoke.

"Why would I want to talk to you?"

"Because I'm your friend?"

"Not anymore." Arthur said darkly looking away from Merlin. Merlin felt terrible, Arthur was basically rejecting his magic, after everything he had done for him.

"Arthur please…" Merlin begged hopelessly.

"Not only did you lie to me, you betrayed me" Arthur spat at him. "I don't even want to see you anymore after what you've done."

"Arthur I saved our lives!" Merlin said indignantly.

"Yes, you saved our lives. But how many will you destroy? How long before you kill someone? Or have you already killed?" Merlin's throat closed up and his eyes were burning with tears all the while Arthur glared at him like he was nothing more than dirt. That hurt.

Merlin couldn't answer, he tried but nothing he could say would make it better, yet his silence only made it worse.

"You can't even answer" Arthur sneered.

"I have only ever killed to save you"

"I never asked you to use evil means to save me, if I had known I would rather have died."

"You can't mean that!"

"I do. I hate magic, I hate all that stand with it. I hate you." Arthur snarled, Merlin staggered back as though struck.

"Arthur you don't mean that, you have to listen. You have to understand." Merlin grovelled.

"It makes me wonder if you were ever my friend or simply plotting behind my back." Arthur shouted "I bet this whole thing with Morgana was a trap, you lured me here to die!"

"Arthur, please listen to yourself. I got you out of this; I saved you from her trap. Why would I do that if I was evil?" Merlin pointed out. Arthur just shook his head.

"I do not pretend to understand the minds of sorcerers."

"Well you know me!" Merlin said angrily "I have been your friend for four years, I have looked after you had things thrown at me. Been poisoned, stabbed and injured all for you. Yet you think I'm evil?" Arthur's face faltered.

"Do you swear you are good? Swear to me you have never harmed Camelot and never will."

"I swear" Merlin said forcibly pushing down the image of Camelot burning and an angry dragon.

"I will believe you for now, but do not think I won't be keeping an eye on you. I still don't trust you."

"But Arthur…"

"You lied to me for four years; I can assume you won't stop now." Arthur left Merlin and joined Gwaine by the fire. Merlin gulped a few times still shocked at the discovery of his magic. So many times he had thought his secret was gone when no one noticed anything, this time he couldn't hope for them not to notice. He didn't like them knowing about his magic. He liked it when only he and Gaius knew. He like operating in the shadows and letting Arthur and the knights take the glory.

He didn't like this.

It was then he realised something, Arthur was not ready to know about his magic. He had just proved it.

Merlin could not do his job with Arthur breathing down his neck and not trusting him.

Merlin was not ready for him to know he had already proved that to himself. Merlin knew what he had to do.

Merlin drew runes around the camp when they weren't paying attention. They were talking quietly together, heads bowed. Merlin knew they were talking about him. Merlin gasped a couple of deep breaths and went and sat next to them for a while, enjoying the friendship however strained sharing his biggest secret. It was nice to sit there and pretend it could stay like that but it couldn't. The time for the truth to be known was not yet upon them.

Maybe one day, but not yet.

Arthur would never trust him if he knew now. It would have to be at a later time when they were both ready for the secret to be known. Merlin inhaled sharply and glared into the fire, the flames reminded him of the dragon. What had he once said? 'You cannot fight destiny' but he could try, he could put it off.

The time was not here.

Merlin excused himself, Gwaine's worried eyes following him. Merlin stood in the shadows of the large tree and closed his eyes. He could feel natures magic all around him and he drew form it, increasing his strength. He could touch the magic of the land and it flowed through him, it was like being Mother Nature himself. He could feel how delicate nature was and the magic that controlled everything. He drew it in deeper, filling himself with its beauty.

His gold eyes opened "ofergiete ansíen bealucræft gewrit feohácnæwest" Merlin shouted the spell, both Arthur and Gwaine looked round at him in shock.

"What have you done Merlin?" Arthur shouted desperately.

"Its for the best." He said, tears were running down his cheeks Arthur and Gwaine looked down at themselves, they were glowing a bright blue. Arthur brought his hand to his face, observing the blue. The runes on the floor also began to glow and a second later both Arthur and Gwaine keeled over.

Merlin sank down to the floor and cried overwhelmed with his own guilt.

He left Arthur and Gwaine on the floor and skulked into the forest, in the shadows where he belonged.

A/N Yeah I'm leaving you on a cliffie. More reviews I get the quicker I shall update! Hope you enjoyed, stay happy and healthy guys.