So no one caught the quote in Chapter Four that I took from "The Devil's Canvas"? I suppose I'll have to tell you all. In Sebastian's dream, Ciel asks "Do you want my mouth here?" That is taken from Chapter Two of "The Devil's Canvas." Now, on to this chapter! Read and review, flame if you must.
Akiru Chan and I have limited medical knowledge, so please forgive any errors you might find.
Disclaimer: Neither of us own Sebastian or Ciel, or any of the other Kuroshitsuji characters.
Ciel loved being home. He felt safe there, and he knew the layout of the entire house since it hadn't been changed in the eight years he'd been blind. Here, it didn't matter if he had a panic attack or a nightmare. He knew that either his mother or father would hurry to his room to comfort him. He felt like he was able to be himself; he didn't have to pretend to be calm and unafraid.
And that was why he didn't want to go to the hospital for the weekend.
It was now Friday, two weeks after he and Sebastian had begun their...whatever it was. During his past two appointments, Ciel and Sebastian had learned a bit more about each other, although nothing of real importance. It was all knowledge that you wouldn't mind sharing with someone you had just met. Neither of them was ready to delve into the deeper side of a relationship and spill hidden secrets and dark pasts, which suited Ciel perfectly fine. He didn't want to talk about what had happened to him, even though he knew that Sebastian had learned of his past; it was written in his file. There was no way Sebastian could have missed it.
And now Ciel would be spending Friday and Saturday nights at the hospital for observation. Although Seb was allowed to come and he would also be seeing Sebastian again, he was still nervous. It was still a fairly new place, and he was sure to meet new people, too.
His mother's voice calling for him to come downstairs because it was time to leave drifted up the stairs. Ciel curled up on his window seat, eyes squeezed shut. He didn't want to go.
"Ciel, we need to go!" Rachel called once more as she waited at the foot of the stairs. She glanced at her watch and shouted, "We're going to be late!"
"I changed my mind! I'm not going!" Ciel yelled back from the safety of his room. "I think I'll just stay here instead."
"Ciel," his mother pleaded. "Don't make me involve your father, or God forbid, Sebastian!"
At the mention of the doctor's name, Ciel paused. He did want to see Sebastian again, but he was terrified of what could possibly happen.
"Don't be Faust again." The doctor's voice was closer, whispered into Ciel's ear. "Don't let these memories force you upon your knees. Don't let them make you beg."
Sebastian's words came flooding back to Ciel, and he knew what he had to do. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and, after taking hold of Seb's harness and his backpack, walked slowly out of his room. "I'm ready. Let's go," he stated as he reached the top of the steps.
Rachel picked up her son's bag and smiled as he made it to the ground level of the home. "That's what I want to hear," she said and quickly headed out the door and to the car to pack Ciel's things in to the trunk.
Ciel felt like he was walking to his doom, but he kept going. He had the odd sense that Sebastian would be disappointed in him if he backed out. It was better to face his fears, he supposed. Once Seb was in the backseat and Ciel was in the front seat, Rachel pulled out of the driveway and began driving in the direction of the hospital.
"I don't think I'm going to make it," Ciel muttered, his face already sheet white.
"Don't be silly, honey. You're usually so anxious to get to your appointments. Just think of this as an extra long one." Rachel tried to comfort her son as best she could. It always pained her when she could not bring ease to Ciel's life as she had once done when he was little.
Ciel didn't say anything back because there wasn't anything that he could say back. The only reason he was anxious to get to his appointments was because he was able to see Sebastian. Truthfully, he was eager to see the doctor today, but he wished that he didn't have to stay overnight. Sighing, he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. Maybe when he opened them again it would be Sunday morning.
It was already late in the evening and past the time when the doctor's offices closed for the night. As they pulled into the almost empty parking lot, the sun was already beginning to set in the distance. Rachel parked the car and breathed in deeply. This was hard on her as well. It had been many years since the last time she had left Ciel for so long.
"Are you ready?" she asked, undoing her seat-belt.
"Not really," he murmured. "But I'm already here, so I might as well get it over with." He also undid his seat-belt and got out of the car. After letting Seb out and grabbing his bag, he turned to his mom. "Are you ready?"
Rachel said nothing and went to collect her son's bags. The trip to the main lobby was silent and only the ding of the elevator broke it. Level two was chosen and thus the short ride began.
Ciel could tell that this was hard on his mom. During the eight past years, she had been the one that Ciel had relied on the most. And now, he would be staying overnight in the hospital, a place she couldn't come to immediately if he needed comfort. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that she didn't have to worry; that Sebastian would be with him and he would help him through panic attacks, but he feared that the words would be taken the wrong way. So he remained silent.
The walk to Sebastian's office was a familiar one, and Ciel thought that soon he would be able to walk the route by himself using a cane. Each step that he took brought more nervousness, and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Panic began to well inside of him, but he forced it back down. He would not be Faust.
Sebastian was waiting for them in the waiting room. He had no other patients coming for overnight stays so he had the luxury of being there to meet Ciel and his mother. When they entered, he stood and quickly came over to relieve Rachel of Ciel's things.
"It's good to see you," he greeted although he was only looking towards Ciel.
A small smile bloomed on Ciel's face. "Afraid I was going to chicken out?" He asked, hoping that his mom hadn't caught the slight lilting flirty tone he'd used.
"Something like that." Sebastian turned from Ciel then and looked over Rachel. He could tell the woman was just as uneasy about this as her son. Finding it within himself, Sebastian gave Rachel a calming smile and spoke. "He'll be fine. I promise."
Ciel nodded. "Don't worry. I've been doing well so far with the treatments, haven't I?" He tried to ease her mind.
"Just be sure to call if you need me," Rachel said and leaned down to kiss her son goodbye. She left soon after, not wanting to draw out this parting more so than needed. It wouldn't have helped matters if she cried in front of her son.
Ciel listened as her footsteps faded away before slowly turning to Sebastian. He couldn't help a goofy grin from crossing his face. "Um, hi," he said, feeling somewhat nervous for a reason he couldn't explain.
"Hello," Sebastian returned with a smile. "Are you ready?" he asked and led Ciel through the door and to the main areas of the office. There wasn't a soul to be seen, but there was a noise to indicate life coming from the nurse's station. "It'll be just you, me, Mey-rin, and Bard tonight." It was custom to have at least one nurse on hand, and Bard, the lab technician, was always working late.
Ciel nodded again as he trailed after the doctor. "Okay." At least there would only be two other people aside from Sebastian here. If he did have a nightmare, then, not many people would know.
They reached the room where Ciel would be staying, and Ciel set his bag on the floor by his bed. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what he should do now.
"Would you like to get settled in or go ahead with your injections?" Sebastian asked as he hovered by the door and awaited the boy's decision.
Ciel gulped. "I want to get settled in a little bit first, I think." He cautiously felt for the bed and sat down. Seb laid down by the bed, resting his head on his paws.
Sebastian hesitated by the door. "I'll leave you be, then?" he asked as more of a question than anything else. Truth be told, he had nothing better to do at the moment, and keeping Ciel company would have been no bother. But Sebastian wasn't about to be somewhere he wasn't currently wanted.
Ciel's head snapped over to look in his direction. "No! You can stay. Please," he added, his fingers clutching the sheets. He hoped that he hadn't sounded as desperate as he thought he did.
There was a moment as Sebastian just stood there and regarded the boy, almost debating if he should stay or not. Finally, he nodded his head. "Alright, I'll stay." He moved quietly through the room and sank into the mattress next to Ciel. There was more than a couple of inches between them, and Sebastian allowed himself to stare straight ahead as silence settled.
Ciel was shaking slightly, his nerves finally getting the best of him. Sebastian was a comforting presence beside him, and he slid his hand to the side, searching for Sebastian's. Their fingers brushed against each other's, and Ciel tentatively covered Sebastian's hand with his, knowing that the older man could most likely feel the trembling.
Sebastian did not pull away nor did he return the hold. It wasn't needed; this was enough for now. He wasn't going to start this weekend by throwing the two of them into uncomfortable situations. So instead he sat as a silent pillar for Ciel to lean on for the moment.
The moment stretched on in silence, neither of them feeling the need to say anything, until Ciel shifted and sighed. "Maybe I should have the injections now instead of torturing myself by worrying about it."
"It'll be over quickly. You're an old pro at it by now." The doctor's hand slipped from Ciel's own and weighed heavily on the boy's shoulder. Sebastian gave a squeeze and then stood. He could already feel that it would be a long night. Most likely he would pass out on his couch and leave the late night observations to Mey-rin, unless complications arose. In which case, Sebastian would take over watching Ciel himself.
Ciel gave him a crooked smile. "I guess so. But I'm sure even old pros get nervous at times." He also stood, grasping the harness. He paused. "Seb, sit. Stay," he ordered then took a cautious step forward, hand outstretched and searching for Sebastian.
Sebastian reached out, the boy falling into his arms. "You know you can bring him with you," he said to Ciel while motioning towards the dog. Even thought Sebastian wasn't a fan of the animal, he still knew the dog was important to Ciel.
"I know. But I think I'll be okay as long as you're there," he replied and immediately blushed. He turned his face away from Sebastian, embarrassed by what he had said.
They moved out of the room and down the hall to the only room that was still lit and open. Already, everything was set up and waiting for Ciel. The syringes were filled and sitting on the counter, and beside the examination table was the mask for the laughing gas. Sebastian pushed Ciel in and maneuvered him to the table so that the boy could sit down.
"Have a seat and I'll be right back."
Ciel hopped onto the table and swung his legs back and forth while he waited. He was nervous still, but it wasn't as bad as it normally was. Maybe he was getting used to it. That thought helped to elevate his mood, and a small smile appeared on his face.
"Laughing gas as always?" The answer was always the same, but Sebastian never failed to ask. Perhaps one day Ciel would say no and forgo the gas.
Ciel hesitated. For some reason, he felt that he had to prove to Sebastian that he wasn't Faust, that he wasn't going to beg and plead anymore. He thought that using the laughing gas was perhaps a sign of weakness; that he couldn't handle the injections and memories without it. "No," Ciel said in a small voice.
Sebastian froze, midway to collecting the mask and numbing eye drops. "No?" he parroted, not quite believing what Ciel was saying. "I don't think..." but Sebastian trailed off, not sure what he was trying to say. 'I don't think that's a good idea,' or ' I don't think you're ready for that,' seemed rather demeaning. So he stayed silent and waited, giving Ciel the chance to take it all back.
"Yeah, no laughing gas. I want to see if I can do it without any help," Ciel explained. His courage faltered as he realized that Sebastian didn't seem to think he could do it. "But I can use it if you think I should..."
"I just want to be sure that this is what you want," Sebastian said slowly, putting the mask back down. He came over to deliver the eyes drops which Ciel took with ease.
Ciel nodded, although there was a faint trace of apprehension still in his eyes. "I'll be okay." 'I hope', he added mentally.
"Think about it while those drops begin to work." Sebastian leaned back and gave Ciel a tired look. "You have nothing to prove, you know," he said. There was no right way in telling what the boy was thinking with putting on such bravado. It wasn't needed, and Sebastian surely wasn't thinking any less of Ciel because of it.
Ciel lay there quietly. The thought of a needle coming near him still terrified him, so perhaps the laughing gas was needed. He let out a resigned sigh. "I'll take the laughing gas."
A smile quirked at Sebastian's lips, but he said nothing about the boy's sudden change in decision. If anything, Sebastian was relieved. Ciel's first time staying overnight should not start out with bad memories.
The mask was brought over and put on like always, giving Ciel several moments to breathe in deeply and become intoxicated. From there, it was practiced and quick movement from Sebastian. Twice the dose of previous injections were given in each eye, and as always Ciel allowed the poke of the needle with little than a dazed smile.
"All done," Sebastian said once everything had been disposed of and the gas mask retrieved.
"Okay," Ciel chirped, then giggled. "I feel funny, like I'm floating on a cloud." He frowned. "Except you can't really float on clouds."
"No, I don't think you can," Sebastian admitted as he tried his best not to smile. The gas really reverted Ciel to a small child. It was rather endearing to see someone as old as Ciel acting so young.
Ciel turned his head in the direction of Sebastian. "So what are we doing after this?" His foggy mind somehow managed to tell him that he would be spending the next few days here, and he didn't want to do everything all at once and become bored.
Sebastian was actually confused. What would they be doing after this? Normally, Sebastian would toss his patient off into their room to occupy themselves, usually having Mey-rin deal with them when Sebastian wasn't needed. Thinking on it, he supposed dinner would be in order. Any other weekend he would head across the street to one of the cafes to get something to eat and completely disregard the cafeteria downstairs. It wouldn't be professional to take Ciel out to eat, so perhaps hospital food would be on the menu tonight.
It was already getting late, but since Sebastian's office connected to the main building of the hospital there was a good chance that the cafeteria would be open late into the night. He looked down at Ciel and thought over his options. The boy could always be left with Mey-rin like all the others, but Sebastian didn't like the idea of putting Ciel in someone else's care.
"Do you want to get dinner once the gases' effects leave your system?"
"Pizza? And chocolate chip cookies?" Ciel asked hopefully, holding his breath and awaiting Sebastian's answer.
"We'll have to see what they have," Sebastian laughed. Ciel always turned into such a child when under the influence. It was a breath of fresh air.
"Okay." He lapsed into silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of Sebastian breathing. He could also smell the man's cologne, and he smiled, suddenly wishing that he could have that scent surround him all the time. "You smell good."
Looking surprised, Sebastian pulled back from Ciel and gave his own shirt a sniff. "Thank you..." Sebastian didn't think he smelled all that well, especially after a busy day of work. But who was he to argue with Ciel?
"I always know when you walk into the room," Ciel said, a light blush dusting his cheeks. He bit the inside of his cheek. The stupid laughing gas had a habit of making him say or do things he normally wouldn't. It was embarrassing, but he couldn't stop the words from rolling off his tongue. Hopefully, Sebastian wouldn't think of him as strange and realize that it was the gas's effect.
"What do I smell like?" Sebastian asked, intrigued. He pushed in closer to the boy until he too could smell Ciel's own unique fragrance. It was something earthy and sweet, like cacao powder.
"Old spice," Ciel murmured. He could smell it very distinctly now, and knew that Sebastian must be very close to him. He tilted his head to the side. A strong urge to bury his face in the man's chest to breathe in his scent washed over him, and his fingers twitched forward slightly.
"Is that so?" Sebastian had used the cologne since he was a freshman in university and had never had anyone point out the brand. He moved closer to Ciel, his body coming to hover over the boy. Leaning down, Sebastian buried his nose into Ciel's neck and breathed in the scent. "Do you know what you smell like?" A kiss was laid to smooth skin.
"What?" Ciel asked breathlessly, shivering as Sebastian's lips pressed to his neck. His hand inched forward until he felt the material of Sebastian's sleeve and lightly grasped it.
Not being able to resist, Sebastian's tongue darted out to lick up Ciel's neck. "You smell like chocolate." He paused and took another sampling of Ciel's skin. "But you taste like..." The words trailed off as Sebastian tried to piece together just what Ciel tasted like. He tasted clean, like freshly fallen rain, but he was also salty. "You taste like spring." Sebastian deduced after a moment, thinking of nothing better than that.
"I'm surprised I don't taste like chocolate, too, with how much of it I eat," Ciel mused. His neck tingled where Sebastian had licked him, and his grip on Sebastian's arm tightened a bit.
"Oh, but that'll make other things taste sweet." Sebastian smirked and said no more. He swooped down and kissed the boy on the cheek and trailed to the side until he captured plump lips. The kiss was short and nothing of merit but enjoyed nonetheless.
Ciel closed his eyes, enjoying the simple gesture. His heart was pounding loudly and he feared that Sebastian could also hear it. After the doctor had pulled away, Ciel's tongue flicked out to lick at his own lips. "You taste good, too," he admitted, and his blush became even more prominent against his pale skin. "Ah, sorry. I usually don't say things like that..."
Sebastian smiled. "It's okay. I like hearing you say things like that." His hand ran through Ciel's hair once before pulling away altogether. "We should really get some food. You should be able to walk now."
Ciel blinked. "Wha-? O-oh, right." He cautiously sat up, taking it slowly in case he became dizzy, and swung his legs over the side of the table before sliding off. "Okay, I'm ready now," he announced.
"Good." A hand was held out to Ciel. It was taken, and Sebastian pulled the boy along through the dark halls of Sebastian's floor and towards the elevators. This part of the building was closed on weekends except for Sebastian's office, so it was very likely that they wouldn't run into any one. Not even Mey-rin or Bard seemed to be moving about.
It wasn't until they neared the cafeteria that they began to hear signs of human life. The smell of food was thick in the air and Sebastian felt his stomach rumble. "Do you want to eat here, or take it back to your room?" Sebastian asked as they entered the large room and moved over to the line where they could order.
"Back to my room would be nice," Ciel stated. He didn't want to stay in the cafeteria where there were other people around. He just wanted to be alone. Basically alone, he amended as he felt Sebastian's arm brush against his.
Sebastian nodded and began to order the food. He took the liberty of picking out Ciel's meal since he didn't think pizza and cookies would be healthy considering the treatment. Ciel needed something light, that wouldn't settle heavily in the boy's stomach. So two turkey sandwiches were ordered along with cups of chicken noodle soup, plus apple juice.
Ciel wrinkled his nose when he didn't get what he wanted to eat, but he didn't complain. Sebastian was his doctor, after all, and if he ordered something different, then there had to be a reason for it. He couldn't help a sigh from leaving his lips, though.
"Ready to head back?" Sebastian asked, moving Ciel's hand to grasp at his elbow. He could feel slim hands winding into the fabric as he pulled the young man along. The trip back was just as quick and without any instances of bumping into strangers. Mey-rin was waiting for them when they returned, but Sebastian quickly sent her on her way. She seemed confused at Sebastian's sudden dedication to a patient, but said nothing on it.
Seb stood to greet them when they entered, wagging his tail happily as his master came into view, and gave a small bark then trotted over to them. Ciel smiled. "Hey, boy. You're being very good today, Seb."
The dog sniffed the air, eying the food that Sebastian held in his hand, his brown eyes huge as he stared at the doctor, hoping that he would give him a morsel to eat.
Sebastian shooed him away and placed the food on the small table in the room. Everything was separated, Ciel's pushed over to one side of the table while Sebastian's food stayed in front of him. "Leave the dog alone and come eat." Sebastian waved the boy over even though he couldn't see. His hands were held out for Ciel and he awaited the boy to take hold of them.
Ciel grasped Sebastian's hand, allowing him to lead him to the table. His stomach growled, and he realized just how hungry he was, not having eaten much during the day due to apprehension. Sitting down, he carefully moved his hands to find his sandwich and began to eat.
The food was eaten in relative silence, Sebastian only speaking to call Seb away from the table. It was hard to enjoy a meal with a dog trying to nose its way into getting a bite. Overall, the food was enjoyable, but nothing like the cafes Sebastian was used to. Perhaps tomorrow he would run across the street to pick up something to go. Mey-rin would be able to watch Ciel for such a short time.
"How was dinner?" Sebastian asked once Ciel swallowed his last bite.
"It was good. I would rather have had the pizza and cookies, though," Ciel mumbled, leaning back in his chair. He took a piece of bread that he'd saved and held it down for Seb to eat. He figured the dog deserved a little treat for being so good in a new place.
"You'll get fat if you eat only that," The doctor teased. His smile vanished as he watched Ciel feed the dog table scraps, but said nothing on it. Hopefully Ciel would wash his hands after an animal drooled all over him.
Ciel shook his head. "I have a pretty good metabolism. Plus, I don't always eat very much." Or he ended up throwing it all back up. But he didn't mention that last part. Sebastian didn't need to know how badly certain situations still affected him.
Once Seb was done licking his hand, Ciel stood and carefully made his way to the bathroom to wash his hands. He emerged a few minutes later and took his seat again. "What's on the schedule now?" He asked before cringing. He didn't want Sebastian to think that he was relying on him to keep himself entertained.
Sebastian hummed in the back of his throat as he thought. "Whatever you want to do. Usually I leave my patients to themselves or Mey-rin by now." He didn't mean it in any rude way. In fact, Sebastian didn't want to be anywhere but with Ciel at the moment.
"Do you have things you need to do?" Ciel asked. "I don't want to take up any of your time if you're busy." He looked down, bracing himself for the disappointment that was sure to come.
"Nothing that needs my immediate attention. I'm all yours for the night." More or less, Sebastian added to himself. It wouldn't do to fall asleep in Ciel's room. Already it was odd that he was still in here. Both Bard and Mey-rin wouldn't question it verbally to him, but he knew Mey-rin was already noticing his sudden interest in Ciel.
A relieved smile spread across Ciel's face, and he looked back up. "That's cool." And it was, but now he wasn't sure what they were supposed to do. He couldn't play any card games or board games, so all that was left to do was talk.
"Anything you want to talk about?" He ventured, tilting his head to the side.
"Anything you want to talk about?" Sebastian tossed back, figuring Ciel would know the safe topics. The last thing Sebastian wanted was to force the boy into a frightened fit.
Ciel frowned. "I actually don't do a lot of talking. I mostly stay at home, except for the occasional times I go to see my dad at his company. And I don't have any friends that I talk to."
"Do you like going to your dad's company?" It wasn't the most interesting of topics, but Sebastian supposed it would get the ball rolling. He couldn't blame Ciel for being a little apprehensive to talk about his current living conditions. Sebastian's life wasn't much more exciting then the boy's.
"It's okay," Ciel shrugged. "Most of the time, I just sit in his office and read, which can get boring after a while. And sometimes, I go with my mom to the different charities that she supports."
Read, that reminded Sebastian and he turned to fully regard the boy. "Did you finish Faust?" He asked, truly interested to hear the boys answer.
"Yeah, I did. The ending wasn't what I had hoped, though," Ciel said. He was obviously disappointed.
"Did you want Mephistopheles to take Faust's soul?" Sebastian had to admit that he had hoped for a similar ending, but perhaps that was just his sadistic side talking. The world was riddled with happy endings and happily ever afters.
"He would have gotten what he deserved then," Ciel stated simply. "And I would have been much happier with the ending. Not everyone has a fairy tale ending." He paused, rethinking his words. "No, fairy tale endings don't exist."
"Is that so? No happily ever afters for you?" A cruel smile twisted Sebastian's face but he said no more. There was no wrong or right answer for whether happy endings existed. It was in the eye of the beholder, he supposed. But one truth of the world was that nothing was ever perfect. Perhaps realizing and accepting that was the key to dying happy at the very least.
Ciel shook his head. "I'm not sure. If I get my sight back, I'm sure that will make me happy. But I'm not sure if my life will magically get better just because of that. There's still...issues I need to deal with." He fell silent.
Everyone had issues, and Sebastian had no doubt that one day Ciel would sort through them. The boy was strong, that much was for sure. "You'll get there," he said quietly. "To your happy ending."
"Will I?" Ciel questioned softly, a frown forming on his lips. He supposed that he'd always resigned himself to a life of panic attacks and blindness, but was Sebastian telling him the truth? Was there a happy ending out there for him somewhere?
"I'm sure you will. So long as you believe it." Sebastian reached forward to ruffle Ciel's hair affectionately. The boy deserved more then the shitty life he had resigned himself to.
Ciel smiled then, closing his eyes as he enjoyed the soft touch. A contented look was on his face, and he let out a small sigh. "Feels good," he murmured.
The roughness of Sebastian's hand evened out into a gentle stroking. Fingers combed through Ciel's hair, running all the way to the boy's neck and massaging the muscles there. "Does it feel good?" Sebastian wondered out loud in a hushed voice.
"Yeah. I've been nervous and tense all day. My body is complaining right now," Ciel let out a small laugh. "You should have been a masseuse instead of a doctor."
"I used to be for a time during University. It helped pay for some summer classes, but I had to stop. Didn't have the time," Sebastian explained as his hands wandered down to the boy's shoulders, easing out tense muscles. Past movements came back to the doctor and he worked the boy's body like he had done many years prior to customers.
Ciel's eyes closed as he further relaxed, but they flew open when Sebastian's hands slipped to his middle back. He stiffened, hoping that the doctor didn't go any lower. His fingers clenched his pant leg tightly as he tried to calm himself down.
Seeing the action, Sebastian's hands retreated and moved back to Ciel's shoulders and neck. They pulled up into the boy's hair once more before retreating all together. "I'll put you to sleep like this." There was humor in tone, topped off with a slight chuckle.
Ciel hummed. "You're probably right, but thanks." He stretched his arms above his head and sighed. "So you mentioned that you had a job as a masseuse before. Any other jobs that you've had?"
A wire thin smile was slipped on and Sebastian leaned his cheek against his closed fist in thought. "During high school, I had a few jobs in the restaurant business, but they never lasted long. University took a lot of time, but during summer when I had classes to pay for or nothing to do at all, I had a job at a veterinary office and working at a bar as a bartender." The vet had been his favorite job by far. It was torture to go in every day and see all the sick kittens and cats, but it was well worth seeing them go home well.
Ciel smiled. "So does that mean if Seb gets sick, you know how to take care of him?" Seb, at the mention of his name, lifted his head up and barked once.
Sebastian laughed. "Oh no, not at all. I just helped clean cages, feed and care for pets being boarded. I didn't actually have any hand in the medical aspects." Although he supposed the body of a dog wasn't too much different than a human's, but that led to thoughts he didn't quite want to bother with.
Ciel nodded, then winced, lifting a hand to his head. He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. "Ow..."
"You okay?" In a quick movement, born purely of concern, Sebastian was up and by Ciel's side. He pushed the dog away as he did so, Seb whining and heading to sit by the bed.
"My head hurts. And my eyes hurt, too," Ciel whispered. "It doesn't hurt really bad yet, but I'm afraid that it will. And then..." A lump formed in his throat, and he couldn't talk anymore as the panic began to rise. He didn't want the pain in his head; it only reminded him of everything that he had endured during the Incident. And he didn't want to remember.
"It's okay," Sebastian consoled. "It's completely normal. You body isn't used to such a high dose of medication." Making up his mind, Sebastian hoisted the boy into his arms. They headed to the bed where Sebastian sat, Ciel in his lap.
Ciel kept his eyes closed. Why, he wasn't exactly sure. It wasn't as though doing so would keep the memories away. They would still find him. He turned to lean his head against Sebastian's chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. His fingers clutched the doctor's shirt tightly, and his knuckles turned white. A small whimper escaped his mouth.
"Hush," Sebastian cooed. "It shouldn't last long." His gentle hands stroked through Ciel's hair once more, massaging at the area where he thought the pain would emanate.
Ciel flinched away from the touch, batting the hands away. "Don't touch me there!" His eyes were wide, bright with pain and fear. "It hurts," he whispered, his entire body trembling. "It hurts. And I don't know what I did to deserve it..."
The words that poured from Ciel's mouth tore at Sebastian's heart. He pulled the boy closer and hushed him as best he could. "You did nothing, absolutely nothing." None of this was deserved; Ciel deserved so much more in his life. "It'll go away, I promise." If only Sebastian could give Ciel something to take the pain away, but it would only ruin the treatment process at the moment. But the pain was a good sign. It meant that the damaged nerves were being repaired and brought back to life.
Ciel clung to Sebastian's shirt. To his dismay, tears gathered in his eyes. He furiously tried to blink them back, but a few managed to fall. He tried to bury his face further into Sebastian's chest, feeling weak for allowing the memories to take hold of him again. His fist gripped the material of the shirt tighter, trying to concentrate on Sebastian's scent and touch.
Sebastian pulled Ciel's face from his chest and leaned down to kiss away the tears and all over the boy's face in a small form of comfort. He didn't want Ciel to hurt like this, but there was little he could do. Hands continued to pass through Ciel's hair and Sebastian's lips worked to distract from the pain with kisses.
Ciel let Sebastian kiss him and returned them, his eyes sliding closed as he lost himself in the pleasure. He wiggled slightly closer to the doctor, looping his arms around his neck, fingers threading through his black hair.
Slim thighs straddled Sebastian's waist and he pulled the boy in. One hand stayed tangled in Ciel's hair while the other, the left, stayed obediently at the waist. He made no move to wander from the spot, no lower nor higher. Sebastian's fingers massaged and circled the hip bone tenderly as the kiss continued. Mouths opened and tongues met, crossing a border from a safe point to wander dangerously close to uncharted territory.
Ciel moaned softly, so lost in the bliss of the kisses he was receiving that he completely forgot about the pain in his head. He angled Sebastian's head so that he could kiss him better, all the while mindful of Sebastian's hand on his hip. For now, he was comfortable with where it was, but if it moved elsewhere, he'd be sure to do something about it.
His right hand slowly trailed down Sebastian's neck to rest on his chest, his fingers curling slightly around his shirt. He pulled away from the kiss just enough to take a breath before he leaned forward and nipped lightly at the older man's lower lip.
Trembling hands tightened in Ciel's hair as Sebastian tried to control himself. It had been far too long since he had indulged in such pleasure and it was all too easy to let go and ravage the boy. The thought that no one was likely to interrupt did not help matters. Ciel was here all night, all weekend, and his mother would not be coming to steal Ciel away any time soon.
Ciel tensed a little as Sebastian's fingers dug into his head with a bit more pressure, but he forced himself to relax. Sebastian wouldn't intentionally do anything to hurt him. Or so he hoped. He pulled away, brushing his lips against the doctor's cheek, and his tongue tentatively flicked out to lick at his ear.
"How is your head?" Sebastian asked once he had the freedom of his mouth. He still leaned into the touch of Ciel's tongue, but he tried to focus on keeping his voice steady and his heart from beating out of his chest. Damn this boy who made him lose himself and bless him for the feelings he was able to birth in Sebastian's dead heart.
"It's feeling better," Ciel said quietly. "Thanks." His head nestled comfortably in the crook of Sebastian's neck, and a contented sigh passed his lips. "I almost didn't come today."
"Why is that?" The question was a whisper against Sebastian lips. He relaxed back onto the bed, falling back with Ciel on top of him. Both hands interlocked at the small of Ciel's back and rested there innocently. A sudden calmness seemed to settled in, feeling out of place after such a passionate scene.
Ciel's body stiffened at the sudden change in position, and panic began to worm its way through his insides. "Because I don't like new places, especially if I have to stay overnight," Ciel stammered, his heart starting to pound.
Sebastian smiled. "But you have me here. I make new places all right, don't I?" He leaned up and kissed Ciel sweetly on the nose.
Ciel blushed and ducked his head shyly. "Yeah, you do," he admitted softly, smiling. He carefully raised a hand to Sebastian's face, fingers running over smooth skin to trace over his lips before the blue-eyed boy leaned down and pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.
The kiss lasted a moment before Sebastian pulled back. "Then relax. You'll have me here, and you know you can always find me in my office." Sebastian was quickly getting the distinct feeling that he would either be staying here until he fell asleep or the boy would eventually make his way to Sebastian's office. He wasn't quite sure how the two of them could sleep comfortably and keep things professional to outside eyes.
Ciel tried to fight back a yawn, and he blinked his eyes sleepily. He was exhausted, his energy having been spent on worrying over the treatment and the overnight stay. He laid his head on Sebastian's chest, the steady beating of the red-eyed male's heart lulling him to sleep, and his eyes began to drift closed.
"Sleepy?" Sebastian asked, chuckling when Ciel mumbled something that couldn't be heard past the fabric of the doctor's coat.
"A little," Ciel murmured. "I didn't sleep well last night, and it's been stressful today, like it usually is whenever I have a treatment." A sudden thought hit him and he clutched at Sebastian's shirt tighter. "You're not going to tell my mom about how nervous I get and how often I freak out, are you?"
This time Sebastian could not keep his amusement to chuckles. A deep booming laugh escaped him and he shook his head from side to side. "Now why would I do that? She might never allow you to come back if I did. And surely we can't have that." A hand came up to ruffle Ciel's hair and soon settled at the back of the boy's neck.
"Because she worries about me a lot. And she'd want to know how I was doing in case she needs to schedule an appointment with my psychiatrist..." Normally, Ciel wouldn't be divulging personal information like this, but he was nearly falling asleep and entirely unaware of what he was babbling about.
"She cares a lot about you," Sebastian agreed. It wasn't hard to see that Rachel cared deeply for her son, not to mention she was increasingly protective. "But you are doing fine. Just look, you haven't had an episode all day. Just a little headache."
"I almost freaked out," Ciel stated between yawns. "And I would have, but you were there." His eyelids drooped even more, and he instinctively curled up closer to Sebastian.
"But you didn't, and that's what matters." Soft as silk hair passed through Sebastian's fingers as he patted and brushed at Ciel's head. It was a soothing action and it was clear that Ciel was being lulled to sleep. Even Sebastian was feeling the affects, his eyes growing heavy as he fought against the tranquility to keep awake.
"Guess so," Ciel's eyes fully closed and his breathing began to even out. Seb lifted his head and looked from Ciel to Sebastian with a small whine. He stood up and trotted over to the bed, his eyes fixed on Sebastian as his tail wagged hopefully.
Sebastian pushed the dog away, shooing him back towards the table. His arms came back to wrap around Ciel and Sebastian found himself relaxing back into the bed. It wouldn't be bad if he relaxed here for a moment and waited for Ciel to fully fall asleep before Sebastian made his way back to his office to sleep. He would only stay here a few minutes more, or so he told himself as his eyelids dropped and his breathing evened out to match Ciel's. And before Sebastian even realized it, he too drifted into dreams.