Chapter 8:
First date :
Around 6 Pm Jane found herself in front of her mirror wearing that little black dress Maura loved so much. Looking at herself, trying to fix her hair Jane was strangely calm and confident. This was probably the most important date of her life and despite but somehow she wasn't scared. Maura and her had been friends for almost 5 years and they knew each other better than they knew themselves. Obviously Jane knew that being in a romantic relationship would be different, that the dynamic of the relationship would be different and she knew that just like any other new couple they would have to work hard for it . Jane knew that Maura and her had been through hell together and that Maura knew her flaws and bad trades and was still in love with her anyway and she knew that she didn't need to be any body else other than herself with her. She knew that with Maura she didn't have to be the strong bad ass cop that people expected her to be, all she needed to be was the compassionate, supportive, funny person Maura fell in love with.
"Well looks like we're good to go."Jane said checking her hair one last time before feeding Joe Friday and leaving her apartment.
At the other side of town Maura was standing in front of her bed in her underwear looking down at 3 dresses struggling to choose one.
"Well I can't possibly wear a dress that Jane already saw on me. I think she would enjoy something classic but not too fancy. If only I knew what color she's wearing I could choose one that matches. Maybe I should call her to ask her."Maura said to herself before hearing her phone buzzing on her night table.
"Stop staring at those dresses. You're gorgeous what ever you wear, just pick one, I'm sure I'm gonna love it. I should be at your place shortly. Love always, Jane."Reading those words Maura couldn't help but smiling.
Maura wasn't the type of women to be nervous before a first date. She was confident and always knew what she wanted out of the men she dated and how to get it. With Jane it was different though. She was in love with her and wasn't interesting in a one night stand or a relationship based solely on sexual encounters. She wanted something real, to build something that she hoped would last for ever and despite knowing Jane better than she knew herself she was petrified. She knew that being best friends was different from dating and was afraid that it wouldn't work that after dating her for a while Jane might realize that this wasn't what she wanted.
Luckily for her Maura knew that those fears were irrational. She had enough experience in life to know that Jane was the one, that what they had and shared was unique and that Jane would always find a way to comfort and reassure her, that she just needed to trust her and follow her lead.
"Alright let's settle for the blue one." Maura said to herself grabbing the blue Gucci dress laid on her bed.
A few minutes later as Maura was checking on her make up in the mirror next to her entrance door Jane finally rang the bell.
"Alright Maura just breath, it's just Jane. This is probably going to be the easiest and best date of your life so just relax." Maura said to herself spinning around one last time checking if her dress was probably flattering her back side and chest.
"Jane, you're here." Maura said as she slowly opening the door as she tried her best to hide her anxiety.
"Wow, you look fantastic."Barely able to find her words Jane could barely believe that Maura had taken time to do her hair, make up and put a nice dress for her. Imagining that Maura who not long ago was her best friend and dating men trying to seduce her was surreal.
"Thank you, you look radius as well. I took your advise and just picked the first dress in front of me. Please come in."Inviting Jane to follow her into the living room walk in a way that made her impossible for Jane not to stare at her back side Maura smiled internally as she felt Jane's eyes on her knowing that her choice of clothing was indeed perfect.
"I just didn't want you to torture yourself trying to find the perfect dress. Here I brought you some chocolates from that bakery you like so much and strawberries for Bass."
"Jane…That's very sweet but you didn't have to."
"Yes I did. I told you I wanted to do things right and treat you like a lady, speaking of which we have reservations for seven thirty, are you ready?"Nervously cracking her knuckles Jane was hoping that Maura was going to enjoy the fancy restaurant she had chosen, especially since she had used her badge to get them a table.
"Actually I was thinking we could stay in and order some chinese."Maura proposed her head in her fridge trying to find some space of Bass' strawberries.
"Oh, I thought you'd want us to go out but yeah we can stay in."Scratching the back of her head Jane couldn't understand why Maura would want to stay in instead of going out. Maybe she had mistaken this evening….
"Oh Jane, don't take this the wrong way. It's just that I really want us to be able to talk without having people around us listening you know…"Maura explained seeing the disappointed look on Jane's face.
"Alright, I get it. You're right, restaurants aren't the most private places to talk. I just kinda liked the idea of taking you out on an official date in a fancy place you know."
"Oh Jane, you're sweet but I don't need you to take me to an expensive restaurant or to try to impress me to win me over. You won my heart a long time ago."Wrapping her arms around Jane's waist Maura was touched by Jane's chivalry and desire to do things right and in a traditional way but she realized that their relationship was everything but traditional and that she didn't need Jane to impress her.
"Alright, I just thought you would enjoy being courted but hey, less work for me, I won't complain…"
"Don't think you're out of the hook Jane. I still expect you to court me. I'm a lady and even if you already have my heart you're going to have to work to win the rest."The truth was that Maura would have given herself to Jane completely physically, sexually and emotionally right here right now but knowing Jane she had a feeling that she was going to have to wait for that and allow Jane to court her.
"It's off the hook and don't worry I have every intention of courting you. How about we order, chinese right?"Both her arms around Maura's waists Jane felt suddenly compelled to kiss her, to touch her which was unusual.
Even if she had been in love with her for a long time Jane never allowed herself to fantasize on her or to even picture them kissing. Strangely ever since they had confessed their feelings and agreed to go out on a date Jane couldn't get Maura's lips and body out off her mind.
"Yes please, menus are on the coffee table. I just need to feed Bass and I'm all yours . I trust you with the choice."Maura said taking a step back unwillingly escaping Jane's embrace.
40 minutes later after having a first glass of wine the two women felt slightly more relaxed and were about to have dinner comfortably settled in Maura's large beige sofa.
"So Jane, I heard you visited my mother today."Maura suddenly said trying to keep her serious face.
"She told you?"Jane grinned covering her face with her table tissue, embarrassed.
"Yes she did and I find it extremely sweet that you respect me and my mother enough to ask for her permission."Maura replied her hand on Jane's thigh, squeezing it slightly.
"I know how important her blessing is for you and I wanted to be sure she didn't have problem with our relationship. Actually I visited Dean first to make sure he wouldn't reveal your affiliation to Paddy Doyle and to give him a piece of my mind about what he did."
"How did it go?"
"Better than expect. He said he wouldn't compromise you but I think I kinda hurt his pride when I told him I was going out on a date with you tonight…"
"You told him?"Maura said almost chocking on her noodles.
"Yes. Actually I thanked him because after sleeping with him I felt so miserable like if I had cheated on you and it helped me face my feelings.I think that I could have spent another 5 years denying my feelings. I think it was the waking up call I needed."
"I know what you feel. I think I could have continued to be in denial for a long long time as well but seeing you with him I just…I thought I was going to loose you for good. I felt it was more serious than any with other guy before because you slept with him you know."Looking down shaking her head Maura couldn't help but telling herself that if she had had the courage to speak up earlier none of that drama that almost tore the apart would have had happened.
"No Maura, don't think for one second that I have or ever had feelings for him. Yes I was attracted to him because he helped me and protected me against Hoyt but it was never love. I love you Maura, Dean was just…like a bottle of Vodka, you jump on knowing it's not what you really need but hoping it's gonna make you forget your pain and for a minute it does but you wake up the next day and you regret it. You might not believe it but I regretted sleeping with him the minute I woke up and I had no intention of continuing anything with him. I'm yours Maura, I have always been and always will be, body, heart and soul. I think I would have come forward with my feelings even if I hadn't shot Doyle almost loosing you in the process."Jane almost professed cupping Maura's face with her left hand, gently stroking her cheek with her thumb.
" I think that I would have done the same, that I would have not been able to watch you engage in a serious relationship without telling you how I felt."Maura smiled kissing Jane's hand.
Eating their dinner their hearts much lighter after finally talking about the "Dean situation" the two women knew that with Dean out off the picture they were finally able to work on their relationship and make up for the time they lost.
"You know the worse part is that I didn't even like it."Jane chuckled not knowing if that topic was appropriate or not.
"Oh isn't he well endowed?"Maura frowned not destabilized by Jane's remark for a single second.
"Eww Maura!That's….It's not what matters for me. It just didn't feel right and actually I kinda had to fake so he would finish faster."Jane replied biting the inside of her cheek. Over the past few years Maura has always been the one sharing the most private details of her dating life with her but somehow Jane now felt compelled to share her experience with her, maybe to reassure her that it really didn't mean anything.
"That's something I personally never do. If I find myself in bed with a man who's not satisfying him I prefer giving him instructions or take the situation in my own hands if necessary rather than lying."Maura explained very casually knowing that she could be herself and speak her mind with Jane.
"Good for you sweetie…You know I actually told Dean that the good thing with being with you was that I was almost sure that I would probably never have to fake like I did with him."
"No you didn't!"Maura hissed shocked at Jane's confession. That wasn't Jane's style, though she understood her need to hit Dean where it hurt.
"Yes I did. I'm sorry, I know it's not like me to say something like that, it just came out…I wanted to hurt his pride by telling him I was with you and by insinuating that he never satisfied me but that you would."
"Well I certainly appreciate your vote of confidence."The thing Maura knew about Jane was that she was unlike her very shy with her sexuality and thinking about it she barely ever shared any of her past experience with her.
Now even if she knew Jane was going to make her wait before taking her to the bedroom Maura was convinced that she had actually considered it and smiled internally imagining how she was going to make her loose her mind.
"I'm sorry Maur'. I didn't mean to imply that I wanted us to have sex tonight or any other night for that matter." Barely able to articulate a proper apology Jane was caught red handed : yes she had thought about how being with Maura would be and how different making love to her would be from her previous experiences.
"You don't want to have sex with me?"Maura asked rising her eyebrows.
"Of course I do. It's just that I don't want to have sex with you the way I did with Dean. I want to make love to you when we're both ready, once I earned your trust and respect back and when the moment is right."
"You're right, the last thing I want to do is rush into a sexual relationship with you. I love you Jane and I want to have a real, deep relationship with you, not just a lesbian affair because none of us got to experience in college you know."The truth was that Maura was excited. As opened with her sexuality as she was she had never had the opportunity to date another woman and she knew that dating Jane was going to be an interesting journey.
"I'm glad we're on the same page. I'm in this for the long run and I don't want to skip any steps."
"Good me neither. Wow, that was good but rather heavy, I wouldn't be surprised if the zipper of my dress broke very soon." Maura joked rubbing her belly.
"Hey we still have the fortune cookie to read, here yours." Jane replied thinking that those fortune cookie were nothing serious but knowing that Maura always enjoyed reading them.
"Thank you. Alright : Forgiving doesn't make you weak, it makes you hopeful."Reading the small note inside her cookie Maura couldn't help but thinking that it was perfectly appropriate.
"That's deep…Mine says : "Look around you carefully, happiness is closer than you think. Damn, I think the guy who made those was really inspired."Jane smiled.
"Looks like it. Would you like a cup tea to help the digestion?"Maura offered trying to stand up despite her dress troubling her.
"Sure."Jane nodded following Maura into the kitchen.
Walking towards the kitchen Maura couldn't help but wishing she had choosing a more comfortable dress.
" I have chinese or black tea or that great Ceylon mango tea your mother got me."
"How about you go jump in something more comfortable while I take care of it?" Wrapping her arms around her waist Jane was obviously not insensitive to Maura's discomfort.
"Thank you. I must say this dress is brand new and I haven't washed it yet and I never expected us to have such a large meal to be honest. Fancy restaurants are all about quality not quantity as you must know."
"Yes I do, but you know us italian have needs and small portions as good as they are don't cut it for us."
"I know and this chinese restaurant was a great choice, probably the best I had in a long time. Now if you would excuse me I really need to change."Maura replied escaping Jane's embrace after giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Damn, that effect she has on you….Oh come one Rizzoli, put yourself together will ya?"Jane said to herself because as eager as she was to explore things further she also wanted things to be perfect.
A few minutes later Maura joined Jane back in the living room wearing a pair of kaki trousers with a nice red top.
"Feel better?"Jane asked amazed by how gorgeous she still look in her casual clothes.
"Yes, thank you. I see you choose the mango tea, perfect choice." Maura said sitting next to Jane.
"Yes, it smelled really good so I said to myself : hey let's try something new."Jane replied handing the cup to her.
"Well tonight is definitely about trying out new things right?"Taking a sip at her tea Maura had no idea how the rest of the evening would unfold. All this was very knew to her and for the first time she didn't have a plan in mind and it was refreshing.
"Absolutely. So we finished dinner and we're having tea…Is this when you usually grade your date and decide what's gonna happen next?"Gently probing Maura Jane wanted to know what her girlfriend to be had in mind and if she was indeed going to treat her like any other date.
"Yes. The coffee after desert is usually the moment I use to evaluate the evening and decide if I want to go on a second date with the person or even if I want to bring him home."Maura explained.
"So you decide if you want to go on a second bed before bringing the guy home?"
"Well…It depends. Sometimes I don't feel the desire to bring my date home but I can still be curious to know him better and go on a second date. Also sometimes I bring a guy home and end up not wishing to go on a second date you know."
"Alright, I understand. How about our evening?I'm already home with you but will you accept to go on a second date with me?"Jane asked confident that she was going to say yes knowing that her charm had already operated.
"I'm not sure Jane, but there is something you could do to convince me."Maura seductively said leaving her cup on the coffee table before sliding closer to her.
"Tell me…"Swallowing hard felling Maura's breath on her face and her right hand across her belly.
"You can kiss me like there's no tomorrow."Almost climbing on Jane's lap Maura didn't give a second to Jane to react and literally attacked her lips.
Far from being caught off balance Jane immediately snaked her left arm around her and pulled her closer.
As the two women were kissing, allowing their tongues to tangle in a perfectly sync ballet the earth literally stopped spinning around them. They couldn't hear or see anything around them and could barely breath.
"Was this enough to make a correct assessment and make a decision?"Jane mumbled breaking the kiss giving Maura's bottom lip a quick bite.
"Yes indeed. How about a third, forth, or even a tenth date?"Swallowing hard trying to catch her breath Maura's head was pounding and her breathing was erratic.
"I don't know Maura. I think I might need more data to make a proper assessment and decision."
"Well, I could take you to my bedroom but I'm not sure you will able to make any decision or even articulate a proper sentence afterwards."Maura replied happy to play Jane's little game.
"I don't doubt that babe, not for a second."Wandering her hands on Maura's back Jane still had trouble believing that Maura was finally hers.
"Would you like to test my theory?"Her arms around Jane's neck looking her straight in the eye Maura wasn't playing anymore. Her throat was dry, her pupils were dilated and her heart was pounding in her chest and the more she looked at Jane and felt her fingers caressing her back the more she felt the desire rising.
"It's tempting Maur', really but as I said I want to do this right and I don't want be one of those dates who expects or asks you to spread your legs on the first night. I respect you too much for that." Jane replied pressing her lips against Maura's hoping she wouldn't be too disappointed.
"And I love you for it. It's actually refreshing to be with someone who's interested in more than my body or my money. Thank you."Resting her forehead against Jane's Maura was overwhelmed. For the first time in her life she didn't have to use any artifice or to do anything her usual dates expected her to. All she needed to do was enjoy herself feeling respected and cared for the first time.
"You're welcome. You know it's getting kinda late and you still have sleep to make up for, so maybe I should go."Her arms still snaked around Maura's waist Jane knew that she needed to escape this rather exciting situation if she wanted to stick to her plan. She knew that feeling Maura's body against her was more than she could handle and didn't trust herself.
"Would you stay with me?I mean not to have sex but just to hold me. I don't feel like being on my own."
"Having nightmares?"
"Yes. Well the fact that I spent every single night at my mother's bedside probably doesn't help me spending quiet nights."
"They installed a bed next to her right so you can sleep right?"
"Yes but I'm not really sleeping, I bounce out off bed every time I hear her cough or move and I know that if I stay alone by myself tonight I'm going to worry because I'm not with her."
"Alright, come on let's get you to bed, but you have to promise to keep your hands in your pockets."Teasing Maura Jane was happy that she actually reached out to her and asked for her help.
"I can only promise you to try my best."
"Alright. I trust your self control. Come on." Jane said suddenly standing as she strongly wrapped her arms around Maura who still had her arms around her neck.
"God, I knew you were strong but that strong…Do you think you can carry me to bed?"Maura smiled feeling shivers down her spine.
"Easily, you're as light as a leaf." Jane smiled walking towards Maura's bedroom holding her as tight as she possibly could.
Later that night after changing into nights clothes Jane and Maura laid in bed, Jane on her back her arm wrapped around Maura's shoulder and Maura snuggled in foetal position her head resting on Jane's chest. Even if the two women had shared their bed multiple times in the past this felt different because they were now dating. They knew that on top of rebuilding their relationship they would soon have to face the professional consequences of their actions but it didn't matter. They were together and knew they could lean on each other for better or for worse.
So guys, I know this was a weird first date. I know you were probably expected something romantic or crazy but thinking about it, they don't need to right?They have been almost married for so many years that they're beyond the all"dating" thing. Not to mention that I wrote several : They confess their feelings/start dating/have sex/get married/ have kids stories and I don't want this one to be like that. This story is about much more than the usual dating process couple usually go through.
Next chapter is gonna be interesting :)