N/A: Alright guys, here's chapter 7. SOrry it took so long, but for some reason my beta's computer couldn't get her DocX to work so it took a while. Anyway, I'm not sure how i feel about this chapter so tell me what you think. Also, if there is anything specific you wanna see in the story let me know :) annnddd i fixed up my tumblr so if you guys wanna follow me, my URL is .com
Thank you for all the reviews! I appreciate it so much, you have no idea! Anyway i hope you enjoy :)
Ron was sitting in his room reading an article in a magazine on the Chudley Cannons when he heard his mother call up to him from the bottom of the stairs
, "RONALD WEASLEY IF THAT ROOM IS NOT CLEAN WHEN I GET UP THERE, HARRY IS GETTING YOUR BED, AND YOU CAN SLEEP WITH THAT GHOUL IN THE ATTIC!"
This caught Ron's attention, and he threw the magazine down on his bed as he started picking up random articles of clothing and candy wrappers off his floor to be thrown half-hazardley under his bed or in his closet. He had just put the last candy wrapper in his pillow case when his mum walked in to inspect. She looked at him suspiciously, standing in the middle of his room, and she looked around. Seeming to be pleased with what she saw, she left the room, and Ron let out the breath he was holding.
He was just about to head down stairs when Hermione knocked on his door. She stood there for a minute trying to find a place to sit and chose the chair by his desk. This way Ron couldn't sit near her on the bed. She was looking down at the floor and was scratching her scar nervously when she said, "Harry comes back today." and looked up at Ron.
Ron watched as Hermione scratched the scar on her arm. As much as he itched to take her hand so she would stop, he knew there was an invisible boundary between them that kept him from doing this. Since their talk last week, he and Hermione were on good terms once again. She seemed a little more comfortable around him and he was pleased with this. She still wasn't comfortable around most of the family, but she seemed okay around Ron. She still wasn't back to her normal self, but a little bit of that old fire came through on occasions. They mostly sat around the garden together because that was where Ron noticed she seemed most comfortable, he could see her shoulder's visibly relax when he would offer to go down and sit by the pond. He thought that having so many people around her made her uncomfortable so he would always try and ease the tension by asking her to come outside.
The only other person Hermione seemed just as comfortable around as Ron was Bill. Whenever he would come around Hermione seemed a lot happier and more talkative. Ron was a little jealous, but seeing Hermione happy made him push it aside. Plus, with Bill around, Ron felt he could relax a little knowing there was someone else who could keep just as close an eye on Hermione as him. Ron couldn't be around all the time to suggest going to the garden, asking her to play chess to get her mind off things, or get her to eat. So, when Bill was there he didn't feel as bad to leave Hermione when his mum left him with chores like degnoming the garden.
Hermione wasn't too pleased with his behavior with keeping such a close eye on her, and sometimes she would try and escape his protective behavior by sitting on the side of the house to read or just be by herself. She appreciated Ron taking care of her, but sometimes she just needed a second to get her thoughts together and most of the time Ron would understand this. A few times, out of worry, he would go looking for her, but when he found her he would try to go unnoticed and sneak off. She had caught him doing this, but chose not to bring it up. He was just worried and a lot of the time she did need him there. He was like her rock; he was the something there she knew would never harm her and she took comfort in his presence.
There still were some things Ron and Bill couldn't even do around Hermione, though. They knew not to touch her unless she did so first or she would get tense and start looking a little panicky. They couldn't stop her from taking multiple showers or she would get visibly angry and start screaming when they would ask why she took so many. And lastly, they couldn't bring up her capture unless she talked about it first.
Ron learned that the hard way when he again tried to ask Hermione what happened to her on the two nights she was away. Hermione had fallen asleep down stairs when Ron heard her screaming. He had come down for some pumpkin juice. He woke her and when she calmed down he told her it might be best if she talked about it and that it could give her the closure she needed to make the dreams would stop. He noticed she started to panic at the thought of it and soon she was hyperventilating and she didn't calm down for half an hour. After that he didn't bring it up unless she did and afterwards, Ron told Bill to do the same.
Hermione was looking up at Ron, waiting for him to say something. He knew what she met about Harry coming. Not that he wouldn't notice the right state she was in even if they didn't say anything.
He decided to say the only thing he could, "Hermione, It's gonna be fine. I'll be there."
She was still looking at him when she said, "What if he's angry? He'll never forgive me."
Ron sighed and said, "Look Hermione, he's gonna be a little upset because we didn't tell him after it happened, but he'll get over it. Either that, or he'll be being a right git and I'll pummel him." He ended in a joke hopefully to break the tension.
She smiled reluctantly and said, "Language, Ronald, and you will not hit Harry." She chastised.
He smiled, happy to see her nagging at him like she used to, and said, "I was only kidding, but if he stays angry too long, I might give him one of the twins faulty Fainting Fancy's."
She laughed and seemed to feel a little better. "When does he arrive?"
"Well he said in his letter around noon so he should be here any minute now." Ron said,
As if on cue, he heard the front door of the Burrow open and the sound of his mum coddling Harry. Hermione felt a surge of panic run through her. She thought she would have a few minutes to prepare herself, but it seemed as if she had no time left.
Ron looked at Hermione to see her panic stricken face looking up at him. He knew Harry would be coming upstairs any minute, so, as a last attempt to calm her nerves, he said as calmly as possible, "Remember Hermione, I'm here."
Seconds later, Harry came bursting through the room. He looked skinnier than before he had left and an inch taller. His mop of black hair had grown past his eyes but flipped up, allowing him to see. He wore a smile but the circles under his eyes told you the story of a boy who had been grieving all summer of the loss of a godfather. It was unbelievable to think the incident in the Department of Mysteries happened just before school got out, but to Ron and Hermione, it felt like years away.
Hermione jumped up in surprise upon Harry's entry and was standing stalk still. Harry first approached Ron and gave him a brotherly hug and both knew that there was no point in asking of the summer.
Harry let go of Ron and turned to give Hermione a hug. Ron watched as Harry engulfed Hermione in a hug and she stood there stock still. Harry backed up and looked at her strangely.
"You okay, Hermione?" Harry said suspiciously.
Her mouth hung a gape, trying to think of response when she looked to Ron for help. Ron thought now was the time more than ever and heaved a heavy sigh, "Look mate, we need to talk to you about something that happened over the summer." Ron sat down on his bed as Harry met his eyes with confusion. Ron added, "We would have told you sooner, but we didn't want you worrying while you were at the Dursley's."
Ron waited a second to see Harry's response. He had a blank look in his eyes and clenched fists. He sat down on the floor opposite Ron and looked between Hermione and Ron and said , "Well go on then. What happened to you two?"
Ron looked up at Hermione and could tell there was no way she seemed fit to tell harry this so Ron thought he would do the honors (if you could call it that).
Ron took a deep breath and looked harry in the eyes only to avert his somewhere just beyond Harry's head.
Ron rubbed his hands on his thighs in nervousness and said, "Nothing happened to me and Hermione. It was just Hermione."
He looked up to see Harry looking at Ron confused, Ron than looked over at Hermione to see her looking at her hands in her lap intently.
Both Ron and Harry were looking at her and she seemed unfazed until Harry broke the silence, "Hermione," he said hesitantly. She looked up at him with fear in her eyes and started scratching her scar in nervousness.
"Hermione, what happened?" You could see a hint of anger flare in his green eyes as he looked at Hermione determinedly.
"I-I was t-taken capture for few days. A-at Malfoy M-manor." She tried to keep her breathe steady as she said this. She really didn't want Harry to worry about her, he had so much more to deal with and it wasn't his fault.
Harry's eyes bulged in surprise and then a look of hurt crossed his face. "Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asked through clenched teeth. When no one answered he looked towards Ron who was looking resolutely at the floor.
He looked towards Hermione and she was looking up at him trying to find words when she said, "We didn't want you to worry. With everything going on it just didn't seem n-necessary to t-tell you."
Harry felt anger bubble up inside him at that point. His green eyes tore right through Hermione's and she seemed to shrink under his gaze, but he was blinded by his anger to see how visibly Hermione was shaken by his reaction.
"What do you mean you didn't seem important to bloody tell me? One of my BEST friend's was tortured, and no one thought I might like to know?" his voice raised slightly and his words were spat out like venom.
Ron looked up to see Hermione visibly shaking from Harry's reaction. He could tell she was trying to keep it together, but Ron knew better. He could see her absentmindedly scratching at her scar and out of habit of telling her he said in a comforting but demanding tone, "Oi, Hermione stop that." and gently grabbed her wrist to stop her. She looked up at him silently only to look back down and pull her sleeve down.
Harry looked between Ron and Hermione confused at Ron's actions until he got a glimpse of raised pink letters on Hermione's arm. He walked over and pulled up her shirt sleeve only to see the word "MUDBLOOD" brutally scarred across her arm.
He pulled it up so Hermione could see and said, "Yeah, no need to know about this." and dropped her arm to turn away.
"What exactly did they do you to Hermione?" He was looking at her expectantly and saw her mouth gaping and eyes wide. She could see the guilt in his eyes as he said this. She knew Harry well enough to know the anger wasn't geared towards her, but himself. Hermione wanted to shout at him to stop and tell him it wasn't his fault and that she was fine. That there was no need to worry and she was sorry. But something kept her mouth closed. Maybe it was how ridiculously dry her throat was or that her vision was slightly blurred with unshed tear. She began to feel frustrated with herself. This was so unlike her and she wanted to fight back and be the voice of reason. She didn't want to feel shaken. She wanted to tell him everything, but at this point she couldn't even make a coherent thought. She was even more frustrated because this was the first time she really even had to seriously think about what happened and it was making her feel uneasy, so she ended up frozen in her spot trying to find a way to respond to Harry. All this situation was doing was bringing up the memories of what happened and she was beginning to be frightened by Harry's anger. She looked down at the ground only to catch a glimpse of the scar on her arm and the memories started to flow through her head as she looked away from it quickly, but it did nothing to help the vivid images of Bellatrix hovering over her with her wand and slowly dragging it across her skin. She could almost hear Bellatrix laughing and almost feel her hair on her face as she watched her slowly carve each letter forcefully into her skin.
Hermione felt the air leave her lungs as she tried to get the image out of her head. She could feel her pulse pick up and her vision fade. She tried to pull down her shirt sleeve, but found it difficult with her hands shaking so much. She kept trying to breath, but it seemed her throat was blocked and she felt panicked.
Her feet swayed and she felt someone catch her and call her voice frantically as she lost consciousness.
Ron gripped Hermione tightly and carried her to the bed. He kept on saying her name to get her to open her eyes.
Harry kneeled next to him and looked absolutely terrified as to what just happened. Ron had no idea what to do so he looked at harry and said, "Go get Bill. He's with my dad in the shed."
Harry nodded his head and quickly vacated the room.
Ron had no idea what to do as he looked at Hermione lying motionless on his bed. He didn't expect her to panic so strongly. He expected he would be able to calm her down or at least calm Harry down before he got too angry. Ron didn't understand why she was so afraid of Harry though, Ron imagined him reacting a lot worse to the situation. Both he and Hermione had seen harry much angrier so he didn't expect Hermione to get so shaken so quickly. He was going to let them work it out without him and intervene if he saw things getting out of hand, but he was watching Harry so carefully he didn't even notice Hermione until she nearly fell to the floor.
I should have been watching her more carefully, he thought in frustration.
"Hermione, Hermione please wake up." He shook her shoulder lightly and waited for a response to only see her lie motionless.
He began to panic not realizing why she had collapsed in the first place and though frantically of what to do. Harry was taking too long and Ron felt like hours were passing. He looked frantically around the room for inspiration only to see his wand sitting on his night stand. In a last ditch attempt he grabbed it and said, "Rennerverate!"
He waited and saw as Hermione's eyelids fluttered open and look around the room, "What happened? Where's Harry?" and she looked at him confused as she began to sit up.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lay back down." Ron commanded. He was so relieved she was awake, but still didn't want to take any chances when she had just collapse. It wouldn't be so great if she passed out again and had a concussion.
Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion and laid back down. "What happened?" she asked again.
"Well you were standing here talking to Harry and then you looked really panicked and just collapsed." He said sounding to hermione as if he was quite flustered.
She was about to ask how she ended up on his bed when Harry came bounding back in the room looking very frightened, with Mr. Weasley and Bill right behind him. Hermione groaned at the scene she was causing. Now they would be keeping an even closer eye on her until they left for school. She fell back on to the pillow and put her palms over her eyes in frustration.
"Ron, what happened?" Mr. Weasley's blue eyes were filled with concern and his voice was calm, while Bill's eyes looked distraught and he seemed to be breathing heavy trying to search out Hermione.
When their eyes landed on Hermione it seemed as if they relaxed with relief to see her awake. When Harry had come to find them, he looked as if something completely horrible had happened, and he seemed too panicked to let anything coherent come out of his mouth so they both rushed up to his room.
"She collapsed, but she seems fine now." Ron answered.
They both looked towards Hermione and Bill said, "Hermione, what happened?"
In all honesty she really didn't know. One minute she was standing here talking to Harry and the next she just felt like the world was caving in on her and she woke up on Ron's bed.
"I-I don't know. I was talking to Harry about…..what happened a-and I just remember waking up." She replied nervously. She really hoped nothing was seriously wrong with her. It was nice to have Ron watching over her, but she didn't need him to start suffocating her with his worry.
Bill looked like he seemed to be contemplating something in his mind as he looked down at Hermione and the room was silent. The silence was driving Ron mad so he spoke up and said, "What do you think's wrong with her?"
Bill was still looking at Hermione when he asked her questioningly, "Hermione, what were you thinking about before you collapsed? Were you thinking about what happened?"
"Well, yes, of course. Harry asked me what happened." This seemed to clear everything up for Bill when he nodded his head in understanding solemnly.
"Have any of you heard of panic attacks?" Bill questioned them all.
"Well, yeah. People in the Muggle world have them. It usually happens after something traumatic happens in that person's life." Harry answered.
Again, Bill nodded and he said, "Exactly. Hermione it seems because you have been through something traumatic that you now might be prone to having panic attacks."
Hermione nodded her head in understanding. This made a lot of sense to her, and she'd known it was coming. She knew she wouldn't be right in the head after what happened, but she was hoping against all odds that this wouldn't happen. Great, just another thing to make her seem weak. She was so mad and frustrated at herself she felt the need to pull her own hair out. This just wasn't fair. When would she be herself again.
"Bill, how would you know about these muggle attacks?" Ron said. He had been quiet until then, trying to absorb everything that everyone was saying and he felt worried for Hermione. He wasn't even sure what these attack thingy's were.
"I used to have them." He stated as he pointed to the scars that reached from his eye and stretched down to his jawline.
"Well, what are they?" Ron asked curiously and a little agitated that someone still hadn't explained it.
"Well, after Greyback attacked me I kept having these flashbacks, mostly when I would look in the mirror and see the scars on my face. It would feel like my throat would close up and I couldn't see. I would usually pass out like Hermione just did, but I've learned to control them and they've gone away." Bill finished.
"Well can't we just give her something for them so they'll stop?" Ron asked.
"Yes, excessive amounts of calming drought, but then she would never be like herself and she would become reliant on it causing them to be worse when she wouldn't have it." Bill explained.
"I'm just going to have to live with it then, aren't I?" Hermione stated with venom. She was looking towards the floor when she said this, but her gaze was so strong that it almost burnt a hole through the wood.
"Hermione, it will—", Ron had started to say only to have Hermione to interrupt him.
"No. No it won't Ronald. It will never be okay. I will never be okay. Don't tell me it's going to be okay because it's not, and you know it's not." Hermione's voice was low and concentrated and it held so much venom in it that for seconds no one spoke. Ron hadn't heard Hermione angry in a while and even now it was relieving it was still somewhat terrifying.
"No one can bloody touch me, and now I can't even stay conscious." And with that she got up to leave the room and she slammed the door behind her. Ron went up to go after he when Bill put his arm up to stop him. Ron looked up and Bill shook his head. He would usually protest, but he knew Bill was right so he just sat down on his bed with his head in his hands.
He heard Bill and his dad leave the room and almost forgot harry was there until he said, "It was my fault wasn't it? Her collapsing?" You could hear the guilt layered in Harry's voice as he spoke.
"No, mate. Honestly, if I really think about it she's been having little ones since before you got here and it was bound to happen again sooner or later." Ron sighed. He didn't know what to do. How could he comfort Hermione when he knew everything she said was true? This just wasn't fair.
"What happened?" Harry said almost inaudibly.
"I'm not really sure. I didn't even know it happened till I heard she was taken to St. Mungo's. All I know is that she isn't okay. She just isn't the same, you know? That fire that was there, i-it's gone and it makes me so fucking angry."
Ron could feel his pulse pick up and the anger flow through him just read to explode. He needed to do something. Hit something. So he stood up from his bed and punched the wall. If there was one thing Ron Weasley knew, it was anger and that it was a hell of a lot easier to deal with than pain.
Ron put his head on the wall and through clenched teeth said, "No one can even give her a hug without her being terrified. She won't eat, she hasn't been sleeping because all she has is nightmares and she takes 50 bloody showers a day."
They stayed quiet for a moment as Ron tried to calm his labored breathing. Harry sat still. He wasn't sure what to say. Harry hadn't been here this whole time so he really didn't know Hermione had been having it hard lately. If he had known he probably would have tried to control his anger more, but instead he let it through thinking Hermione as usual would have been able to handle it.
"How is she going to go to school in the state she's in?" Harry commented.
Ron turned around to face Harry and said, "That's another thing I'm worried about. I can keep my eye on her here. Make sure she eats and gets to sleep. Bill and I have been watching over her making sure she's comfortable, but when we get to school I won't be able to do that. I don't know how she's gonna do it." He put his palms over his eyes and rubbed as he tilted his head back in stress. He let out a heavy sigh and tried not to think about how he was going to help Hermione while in school. He was so worried that she was going to only get worse when they got to school without him keeping a watchful eye on her.
"Ron." Harry said. Ron lowered his hands to be met with Harry's fierce eyes.
"We won't let anything happen to her, not even herself." Harry said. Ron looked back at Harry with the same fierce expression and sheer determination, accompanied by and agreeing nod.
This wasn't just a statement though, it was a promise to each other. A promise that together they would watch over Hermione and make sure she was safe. A promise not to quit.