School's been stressful, but I am on a week-long break; so here's an update. Once again, going to thank Fallenangelqueen for the ideas at the end of this chapter are from her as well =)

Disclaimer: I do not own BTR

"...Are you slow, or are you falling in love with me?"

-Trism to Liir, Son of a Witch

Kendall,

I needed to step out to run some important errands.

I'll be back soon, keep this note close by so you don't forget

-Logan

I place the note on the coffee table hoping that he'll see it. Sooner rather than later I was going to locate Jeremy. Lucy, I need not worry because only Jo had a spare key so there wasn't any need at all to worry for a Kendall-freak out. My gaze watches him sleep for a few moments before I pull myself away.

Now normally, I know exactly where the members of my rather violent community are, but Jeremy was still relatively new. For all I know, he could be where we met last or out robbing a gas station. I'd find him. I would. No doubt about that. I walk with my head down as usual, avoiding any eye contact. Going out in the middle of the day was the most hazardous naturally. Weaving around the people, I scout through the streets of Detroit. A good way to tell whether someone was like you or not, was how they dressed. All I needed was to find who also clad in something relative to a hoodie, and sunglasses. Believe me when I say there were many of them. It makes me wonder why anyone would even bother living in Detroit in the first place.

Someone's hand rests on my shoulder and on instinct; I whip around and slam him into the nearest wall. Passerby's gasp and speed away. "Who the hell do you are?" I demand.

She tears off her sunglasses and I am greeted by her sharp dark eyes. "Me you idiot," Lucy snarls, shoving past me. She adjusts her black leather jacket, places her sunglasses on again, and begins walking; motioning with her hand for me to follow.

"What, Stone?" I snarl. "I find you, remember? If it was about those cops, then I would've contacted you first." I follow her anyways. "Are you listening?"

"Yes. And I'm going to need you to meet me at my own hideout so I can show you what I've found."

"I am sure you are aware, but I have much more important matters to tend to," I inform.

"Ah, but you are the one who made the deal," Lucy reminds.

"Oh, did I get a good price on it (1)?" I snicker, "I am sure you can wait."

Lucy shakes her head, letting out an irritated breath. "Maybe you don't understand..." She shifts in front of me, blocking my way. "If you haven't noticed, I am the second most feared and have just as much to deal with as you."

I narrow my eyes and cross my arms over my chest. "If you're trying to tell me you're an ounce the same as I am, than you are insane; get out of my way."

"Mitchell, you're coming with me," Lucy says in a hushed voice.

Giving in to this would show weakness. And then that defeat would travel fast and my respect would be destroyed in an instant. Then again, what would be thought of me if I refused to fulfill what had been started? "Fine, but this better not take long."

Lucy leads me on as we move past hoards of people. She stops us at the corner of Walsh Street and Carson Street. Lucy nods towards the alleyway and we head down it, turn once and stop at a dead end. On the right wall is a door that looks as if it'll collapse at any second. Lucy pulls out a key from her jeans pocket and jams it into the key slot. The door opens and I enter, Lucy close behind. It's identical to my hideout home, except there's only one extra room and...The colors aren't what I would choose. Through the open door of it, you can see it is the bathroom. Her bed is against the back wall in the living room.

"Sit down Logan, I'll get-"

"Their profiles?" I interrupt. "I saw it on the news."

Lucy nods slowly. "Wait here then," she says, "and don't touch anything."

"Like I would want to," I snort, sitting down on her couch. I felt like someone waiting outside the office of their future employer...It gave me a disgusting, 'blech', no-never; not happening again feeling. I never was a big fan of being the one waiting. I didn't wait for people-people waited for me.

"Here," Lucy grumbles. Two folders slap down on the coffee table in front of me. One folder is labeled: Roberts, Camille, and the other: Stetson, Jett. I pick up Camille's folder, open it, and browse threw it for a few moments.

"I thought you only needed the girl's information," I say, "And I still have no idea why you feel threatened."

"How about you ask your girlfriend?" Lucy says, ignoring my first comment.

I stop midway from exploring Jett's profile. I knew she was talking about Jo. People still thought that? Didn't they know I was...never mind. I didn't dare let anyone know about that. Never would I let anyone know. "Jo is not my girlfriend," I correct. "And what would she have to say about you and these two new police? I thought they found your DNA at a car high-jacking crime scene."

"News flash: I made it up and if it had been true, don't you think you would have heard about it?" Lucy snarls, her jaw clenched. "Let's just say they are a vital part of something she is asking me to do."

"Why would you do anything for Jo?" I demand, choosing to ignore that she lied to me because; well, that was something Lucy Stone did. Lie.

"You're not the only one who makes deals around here," Lucy jeers, her eyes rolling. She shifts her weight from one side to the other. "Call her. If you don't believe me, call her. She'll tell you."

"Don't interrogate Jo," I warn.

Lucy gives a staid chuckle. "Like you give a damn about anyone," she scorns. "Especially Jo Taylor, for all everyone knows she could be your little sex bunny."

"I'll make you regret that. I don't give a shit that you're a girl. When I'm done with you, you won't remember what happened-that's how badly you'll be wounded," I threaten, voice cold. "Stone, I'll...I'll-"

"Rape me? Please. The rest of this Disturbia may be fooled but you've never raped anyone in your life. You kidnap but no child under ten, but even then you hardly do anything to your captives." Lucy and I lock gazes, the both of us reaching new levels of hatred. "Take the files, Logan Mitchell. Take them and get out. You will do something about them."

"Want them dead?" I stipulate, my heart turning to impassive stone at every passing second.

"Not dead. If you can manage it; capture them," she says. "You can go back to what you were doing now."

I want to tell her off again; to feel alpha once more...but I don't know how to retaliate. Who did she think she was ordering Logan Mitchell around! I don't think so! I'd do something criminal tonight. I'd do something to put myself back on top. And then, I would abduct those two police and she'd see who could "manage it" then. My hands gripped the folders to prevent them from reaching forward to fold around Lucy's neck; squeezing tighter and tighter until the air slipped slowly from her thin lips until...

"I said, go now," Lucy says.

I stand up, walk around her couch and pause at the door. My instinct wants me to kill her. I open the door with one hand and step outside, closing the door again and the hood is over my head. For me, there are a change of plans. I'm going back to the hideout early...but first, a pit stop. I slip the folders into the hidden inside pocket of my hoodie and stalk out of the ally and through the crowds. Impulses on fire, I analyze. Out of my peripheral vision I see two teenagers; a boy and a girl making out against the wall; a poor beggar man sitting on the curb across the street; a business woman talking on the phone...I don't care how many people there are around, or who could see, or what will happen afterwards, or what Jo will think of me violating my hiding agreement...because I haven't murdered in months; and Lucy Stone and everyone else needs to remember why I am so feared.

Imagining business woman is Stone as I close my hands around her neck, ignoring everyone; instead appreciating how she let's out a soundless gasp, the cell phone falling from her grasp and hitting the ground. It is over in seconds and I am speeding down the street before anyone can catch me. No one stops me because they know I could do something worse to them. I don't stop until the screams are distant, the shouts and warnings die down, and the death is behind me. My heart thumps and the image of business woman falling is just a sweet refreshment of what used to be my hobby. I reach the hideout and slam the heavy door when I am inside.

"Logan?" Kendall calls uneasily.

"Yeah, Kendall; it's me," I say, removing my sunglasses. He peers his head out from my bedroom and smiles.

"Good. If it wasn't you..." Kendall shudders and steps out completely. "I guess I'd just get confused and freak out again."

"We can't have that happen," I agree, setting them onto the coffee table. "I assume you found the note okay."

He nods and takes a few shy steps forward. "What did you have to do?"

"Nothing important. Are you hungry?"

"Nah."

I shrug. "Suite yourself. What were you doing before I came back?"

Kendall glances down at his feet as if in embarrassment and his cheeks are suddenly flushed a deep red. "I don't think you'll be too happy."

"Don't be ridiculous, you can tell me anything," I assure, walking over to him.

"I slept more..." Kendall admits quietly, "But in your bed."

I raise an eyebrow. "My bed? Were you comfortable?"

Kendall's cheeks glow in an impossible shade. "Yes. Are you mad?"

"No, of course not," I say. "Did I wake you?"

"A little; but I was going to stretch a bit anyways," Kendall says, "And I don't think that it is good to sleep all day anyways, right?"

"Right," I reply. "You go in my room again and do that, I have to make a call."

Kendall nods and disappears behind the door. I take the cell phone on the coffee table and dial the only number I know by heart. Let's just see what Jo has to say about Lucy Stone...

"Logan? What is it this time?" She sighs.

"Did you make a deal with Lucy Stone? Something about those two new cops; Camille Roberts and Jett Stetson?"

"Did she confront you?" Jo inquires, "Why did you meet with her before originally?"

"She needed me to do something about Roberts so I instructed her to get information, and then I'd deal with her. Stone broke in to the police station and got both Stetson and Robert's profiles. Lucy Stone told me you know something about why she needed them."

I count the seconds that go by before she answers. "It's nothing," Jo mutters. 78. 78 seconds.

"Nothing, hmm?"

"Yes, nothing; now I'm sure you've got better things to do than talk to me," she murmurs.

"No, I need to know things like this; I'm planning on kidnapping them," I state.

"What?"

"What yourself; why do you care? Huh?"

"Why do I-? Where would they go? You have Kendall, remember!"

"Yeah, I could think of somewhere else to keep them."

"Logan, just let it go; Lucy is setting you up to get arrested," Jo snaps, hanging up a half second later.

Alright, she was helpful. I can't trust Lucy Stone, she's right about that. I was about to go to Kendall when there was a knock. "Ah, what now!"

Then he calls, "Logan Mitchell? It's me, Jeremy! Open up!"

Oh. Okay. That couldn't have worked out any better. I guess I don't have to find him myself now. I walk over and open the door. "I've been looking around for you, you know; come in," I say.

"Really?" Jeremy grumbles, "Is that a good thing?" He enters and turns to face me with a distrustful expression.

"For me? Yes, because you've planted yourself in front of me without any work on my part. For you? Oh, I'd be a bit worried," I snicker.

Jeremy leans his back against the kitchen counter. "I needed to talk to you...I've been thinking after you met with me at the bar."

"Thinking about what?" I question.

"You seemed pretty interested in my cousin, Kendall," Jeremy points out.

"I need to know what happens around here," I say with a shrug. It isn't completely a lie.

"No kidding. I haven't been around Disturbia long, but I know enough that you can hardly trust anyone," Jeremy snarls. "What was with you caring about what happened to my cousin?"
Out of the corner of my eyes I see the cracked open door to my bedroom. Kendall is peeking out slightly. I motion for him to stay back.

"What are you doing?" Jeremy asks, noting my hand movements.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," I say. "While we're on the topic; who was the last person Kendall was sold to?"

Jeremy rolls his eyes. "Hawk."

My eyes narrow. "Hawk? Okay then..." I nod. "I know that man...never did trust him."

"He's one of my uncle's most common customers."

"I'll confront him eventually."

Jeremy's eyebrows spike up. "See, there you go; interested in my personal issues."

"I'm interested in a lot of things," I counter, "Now, I think I have aquired all I need to know for now; you need not stay any longer."

"That's it? I don't get any answers, but you get to know more about my life?"

"Yup, kid; that's how it works."

"Kid? I'm sixteen!"

"In this world; that's considered a kid-now go on." I catch sight of Kendall again and bite down on my bottom lip. He has that look on his face. It is that look of remembrance. "Try not get arrested," I say, grabbing his wrist and shoving Jeremy to the door. I push him out and close the door before he can do anything more. That quick little visit was almost catastrophic.

"Kendall," I say, turning around, "that, uh-that was nothing; I mean, that was no one."

"The news reporter we were watching...the one named Jennifer? I think I know her..." Kendall says in a whisper, "And that boy...Jeremy? He's familiar too."
"Oh, uh-so you're remembering things?" I inquire warily. "Does that happen with short term memory lose? You seem to have long term memory lose, I don't think reminiscing happens in that case," I reason.

Kendall shakes his head and emerges completely. "Logan, I know the difference between the two things." He hurries over to me and I meet him halfway. "Logan...I think I need to talk with the boy you sent away. What if he knows something about me?"

I think about it more a moment- but no longer than that. "No. Kendall, this is ridiculous. It's not reasonable. Jeremy won't know anything. You don't know anything; you're staying here."

Kendall blinks. "I never mentioned leaving, I just want to talk to him."

"Kendall, please..." I sigh, "Listen; if I knew something about your past, I'd tell you. Really. Jeremy is only part of your uncertainty. Leave it."

Kendall stares at the floor. "I'm sorry."

I smile sympathetically. "Don't be. You're confused and that's always hard; I don't blame you for wanting to believe you could remember."

"Thanks...I guess I'm just a bit desperate," he admits sheepishly.

"You don't have to be," I say, "Because with me around, you don't need memory. I'll always be here." Literally...

"Thanks," Kendall says again.

"Don't worry about it," I press.

There was much more activity today than I expected and really, I need something to make it disappear. James and Carlos were always sneaking around Rein Street where they constantly sold drugs. And I needed something stronger than what any bar could provide right now. Kendall was already beginning to fall asleep. I walk to the couch and he scoots backwards slightly allowing me to sit at the left end. I turn on the TV and watch for a bit to see if anyone has reported the murder of business woman yet. Waiting for the news stories while in the meantime watching the weather; Kendall looks up at me and snuggles closer a bit.

"You're wearing your hoodie again. That means you're leaving," he says.

"I won't be gone long," I reassure. The screen flashes to a story about Town Hall being remodeled. "You'll be fine."

Kendall props himself up on one elbow. "But...What if I don't? Logan, I don't want to freak out...I don't," he says, his voice trembling now. "I'll be honest, wh-when I found that note it t-took me at l-l-least an h-hour to breath normally. I c-c-couldn't think of what to do to take my mind o-off being a-alone and I wasn't sure if you gave me any i-ideas the day before...I-I didn't want to m-mess up or r-r-ruin your home again so I-well...A-after I managed to calm down...I w-went into your room...and...I-I felt s-safe in your bed."

My gaze flickers to the television screen when the news reporter Jennifer says that Kelly Wainwright was murdered on her way to work. I bite my tongue and turn of the TV, my attention converting completely to Kendall again. "You're scared then?" I inquire, letting my arm rest over his back, my hand on his shoulder.

"In a nutshell..." Kendall says rigidly. "I'm scared that I rely on someone I hardly know so much and I'm absolutely terrified that my past is going to one day vanish completely even if it is somewhere in my mind."

There is something tragic in his voice and his emerald eyes have more pain in them usual. Nothing would feel better than getting drunk and forgetting everything, but I can't leave him now. I reach my hand up to brush aside the dirty blonde locks that have fallen in front of his eyes.

"I won't go if you don't want me to," I whisper.

"Please..." Kendall chokes out.

I lean back into the cushions and stroke the same hand up and down his upper arm. "Listen..." I sigh. "I won't let you're memory go. Tomorrow morning, I'll call Jo and have her bring some notebooks. You can write down everything you remember and record all you do and feel during the day. That way nothing can be lost. And don't be afraid of trusting me...with me..." I close my eyes and shake my head. When I open my eyes again, Kendall is staring up at me once more. I run my fingers through his hair and smile. "With me, let's just say there is nothing to fear anymore."

Kendall leans into me more. "Logan, I...thank you." He shifts onto his back, looking to the ceiling as if all the answers to his problems were up there. Under my touch I can feel him shivering. It's not cold, so I know it must be of his concern.

I know what I have to do...what I want to do. Kendall moves onto his side again when I kick my shoes off. "I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go; When all those shadows almost killed your light...I remember you said, 'don't leave me here alone', but all that's dead and gone and past tonight..."

Kendall nestles his back against me. I wrap my arm tighter around him as a continue, "Just close your eyes, the sun is going down; you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now; come morning light, you and I'll be...safe and sound..."

He glances over his shoulder at me, jade orbs glowing though they were somnolent. I nod as if to confirm the lyrics' meaning and go on, "Don't you dare look out your window, darlin' everything's on fire, the war outside our door keeps raging on...hold on...to this...lullaby... Even when the music's gone... Just close your eyes, the sun is going down; you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now; come morning light, you and I'll be...safe and sound..."

I could feel him growing limp in my arms as sleep overpowered him. "Just close your eyes...you'll be alright... come morning light, you and I'll be...safe and sound..."

Well, I don't think I can head to my own bed with Kendall in my lap. He looks so much younger when he sleeps which only intensifies the virtuousness that he is. From what seems to be the truth, Kendall was a former prostitute...but not at his own will. So, didn't that technically make it trafficking? Kendall said he thought the news reporter Jennifer was familiar too...could she be related to him? I mean, I had thought there was something about her...

I couldn't be sure though. If, I repeated IF, I were to let Kendall go; I could never be certain that she did have any relations to him. And no matter what the proof may be, I wouldn't trust Jeremy if he was Kendall's last living family member. But...looking at him my heart twists just a little at the thought of keeping him practically hostage. I ponder over whether this decision is my best. My decisions and judgments were clever and all around cunning...but for the first time...I don't trust my own choice. The goal I had adopted was to restore Kendall but rehabilitation needs the people whom you are close to in order for it to work. That would be family in Kendall's case.

Would it really be that bad to let him and Jeremy talk? No. What am I saying? That could end in Kendall remembering his past and what did he do to deserve that? I'll make sure he won't forget anything and perhaps allow any good memories to say, but I will fight the worst of his past if I have to. Yes, Lucy was right when she accused me of not being a rapist. It was something I never stooped to because of the man that had assaulted Jo...I didn't kidnap young children because of her too.

I make up my mind: Kendall is staying here.

Usually, at night; it takes a while to fall asleep.

But tonight

For the first time in what seems like forever

I sleep with no corruption

(1) my favorite Jade West line so far in the "VicTORIous" third season