AN: There are a couple of things I would like you to keep in mind while reading this story. The first concerns the Eva timeline. What's an Eva timeline? I haven't heard of any "Eva timeline", but I'll tell you if I find one lying around somewhere. The other thing that you should remember is that I don't know a lick about Japanese culture (beside what I have gleaned from other fanfics). So unless I say otherwise or it's obvious that what I'm describing has to do with Japan, everything pertains to American culture, even if it is a Japanese setting. That's just the way things are between us. If you don't like it you can stop reading and I won't get mad, just like if I don't like it I can stop writing and I wouldn't expect you to get mad.
Whipped
Chapter 2: Knowing Your Place
It was somewhat cold in the Katsuragi apartment when Shinji woke up the following morning. Misato made a habit of keeping the thermostat as low as humanly bearable in order to save money. With not only her own salary, but also a portion of her two charges' salaries under her belt, it was a wonder that she would ever have to worry about saving cash. When Ritsuko once asked her about it, she responded by saying it was an old habit of hers and mumbled something about 'waste not, want not'. To this Ritsuko made a comment about Misato's wasteful alcohol usage, implying that this was where the money was truly going. In response, Misato sophisticatedly explained how Ritsuko's lineage crossed paths with that of a female dog and suggested that it would be best that she kept her enlarged and rather overweight mouth shut.
As Shinji groggily opened his eyes he was greeted by the red glow of his alarm clock. It read 5:44 AM. He quickly stretched out his arm and struck the 'off' button before the machine had a chance to emit its high pitched beeping sound. He didn't want to wake Asuka. She hated the sound of alarm clocks.
Shinji was quite surprised that he had awakened so late this morning. He usually woke up at 5:30, only setting the alarm as a safeguard to keep himself from being late. But after his conversation with Mr. Kaji the last night, he hadn't been able to sleep very well. It wasn't that he believed the man was right or anything… he just couldn't understand how someone could draw such conclusions about his and Asuka's relationship. The two of them cared deeply for each other and if anyone could see them together, they'd know that.
Of course, no one will see us together... he thought darkly. But the thought was quickly put out of mind as he had much work to do.
After handling some business in the bathroom, Shinji made his way to the kitchen and prepared himself to make the morning's breakfast. First he set to the task of finding all the ingredients and utensils he would need. And then, after he had accomplished this task, something amazing happened.
Shinji was no longer himself. He had become someone greater. He was reborn the master chef of the prestigious Hotel Katsuragi. Boxes were opened with lightning fast fingers.
Ingredients were measured by eyesight with cold precision. Eggs shells were cracked cleanly, mixtures were mixed thoroughly, and all food was cooked evenly. In short, food was made perfectly. And with such flare too! The master chef was not satisfied with perfect food. He was a master of preparation presentation.
Spoons were flipped behind his back only to be caught by the other hand without so much as a glance in its direction. Pancakes were flipped out of pans and perfectly rotated 540 degrees in mid air (because 180 degrees just isn't good enough). And a lot of other cool stuff was done as well.
When Shinji was finished, he surveyed all that he had created and saw that it was good. He let out a contented sigh. This was his element. This is what he was born to do. As he looked over the perfectly set table adorned with the perfectly prepared food he couldn't stop himself from thinking, This is where I belong.
He looked up at the microwave clock and saw that it read 6:00. It was time for him to wake Asuka. He quietly made his way to her room and slid her door open. He was careful not to bump into anything, least he startle the girl from her slumber (under the wrong conditions she often woke up swinging). When he arrived at her bedside he reached his hand out to shake her awake, but stopped mid-motion. He knew that he should just get it over with, but something always seemed to hold him back. Instead he just stood there, staring at her profile outlined by the dim light of the fading stars in the morning light.
When she had first moved into the apartment with Misato and him, Shinji had been deathly afraid of stepping into the girl's room. This was largely due to the fact that she had threatened to take his life in retaliation to such an action. But since they had started seeing each other she had become more lax on these rules, even opting to have him wake her up in the mornings since she hated waking to the sound of an alarm clock. But every time he stepped foot in the room Shinji couldn't help but feel nervous. And this wasn't just the lingering effects of Asuka's threat.
The reason Shinji was always on edge when he entered Asuka's room during her slumber was simple: Asuka was asleep in there. Whenever he looked at her face while she slept, he couldn't help but think that she'd never looked more beautiful. And he couldn't help but think back to the time when they were undergoing their synchronization training and he almost… kissed her. He couldn't help but think how horribly vulnerable she was in that state. And he couldn't help but wonder why she'd ever trust him to see her that way.
So it was no surprise that the poor guy couldn't stop himself from staring at her, if only for a little while. But when the clock on her nightstand reached 6:06 he decided that he couldn't delay waking her up any longer. He reached down to touch her shoulder and gently shook her awake.
Asuka's first response was to groan. Shinji knew from personal experience that she was not a morning person. Her second response was to slowly open her eyes. When she saw that someone had the nerve to enter her room and dared to stand looming above her, her fist quickly rose to make contact with the offending person's jaw. Shinji instinctively flinched away. But before a connection of the deepest kind could be made between the two of them, Asuka realized who it was that was waking her and abruptly pulled back her fist.
She grumbled something about startling her and him being gentler, but Shinji didn't quite pick up on it. He looked down at her anxiously wondering if he'd done something wrong. When she saw the almost frightened look on his face, her own face softened. Before she could stop herself, her lips curled into a small comforting smile.
For the second time in half an hour, Shinji couldn't stop himself from thinking, This is where I belong.
------------
For the occupants of classroom 2-A, class was a game of some sorts. Everyone understood, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that learning would occur at some point in the day. And while this knowledge depressed many of the students, there was also a counter-balance to this. It is an activity in which all students take part of in one form or another that most like to call "goofing off". Although the term "screwing around" is also accepted.
But let it not be said that their kindly old teacher did not run a tight classroom, quite the contrary actually. While Mr. Karosaga was anything but a tyrant (thus the phrase kindly old teacher), anyone who's suffered through a complete week of cleaning the classroom by themselves can tell you that rule breakers are aptly punished. Likewise, those who follow the rules, ask questions in class, and who sneak him candy bars when other students aren't looking, receive respect and in many cases leniency. The man did everything right in handling his students, but there was one flaw in his method: He loved to talk.
All it took was one question from an inquisitive face to sidetrack the man. One moment he would be talking informatively about pre-impact history and then someone would make a simple comment. "I wonder what it was really like back then." And then he was off. Explaining the ins and outs of how things were in the good old days, back when things were simple, and life was wholesome. Back when you could get a whole double-cheese burger for only a dollar, and if you looked real hard you could still see a few stars in the sky at night. Mr. Karosaga understood that these kids these days didn't understand what life was really all about. That's why when anyone commented on how his students were playing him for a fool he would always wave it off saying, "I can't deprive our youths of the knowledge. They are the future you know." But that didn't stop him from frowning heavily as he observed Shinji obviously staring at his computer screen with a stupid smile on his face.
ALS says: Look up, stupid. Could you be more obvious?
He briefly considered replying with something corny like "obviously in love with you" but thought better of it. He had never actually said the L-word before and he didn't want the first time to be in an instant message. It'd be setting a horrible trend for the future. First you're saying I love you, then you're sending little e-hugs and e-kisses, and before you know it you've popped the question online. Now there's a story for the grandkids. I looked down at the screen and saw those words I'd always wanted to read! And then I franticly typed 'yes, yes a thousand times yes' in all capitals.
A shudder went down Shinji's spine, which did nothing to alleviate his teacher's suspicion.
"Mr. Ikari, if you have something more important to do, I suggest you do it outside of my classroom. Or maybe we could work on whatever it is that's captured your attention together. In detention."
Shinji went as straight as a board. When he spoke, it was in a stuttering whisper.
"I-I was just taking notes, sir." He wasn't sure if he was really shaking that much or if it was just a side effect of his rapid heartbeat.
"Really? Then what was the last thing I said?"
Shinji was stumped.
"Let me… uh… let me check my notes."
By the time Shinji's eyes had glanced back down at his screen there were three new instant messages waiting for him on his laptop. Each of them read:
"The Berlin Wall fell in 1989."
"Lucky guess," muttered Mr. Karosaga under his breath. Maybe those hacks in the teachers lounge were right. He was getting too old for this. Without further interruptions, class resumed and Shinji got a textual butt whooping.
ALS says: How many times do I have to tell you? Type with your eyes looking forward and only look down at the screen when you know he's not looking at you. I know you're not the smartest guy in the world, but it's not rocket science.
SI says: I'm sorry
Click
Shinji clicked over to a different message box.
TS says: What's up with you man? That's the third time this week you got caught with your hands in your pants and your head in the clouds.
SI says: I'm sorry
SI says: … and my hands are above the desk.
Click
KA says: I don't understand how a guy like you could ever become a pilot. You can't even look straight and type at the same time. They should have picked me. I can look straight, type, and discreetly chew fruity flavored bubble gum, too.
Shinji heard a loud popping noise from Kensuke's general direction.
SI says: I'm sorry
Click
HH says: You're a nice guy and I know you've got a lot on your mind, but if you don't start paying attention I'm going to have to report you.
SI says: I'm sorry. Please don't. I'll pay attention.
Click
ALS says: God, you're so dumb sometimes. It's not even funny how dumb you are.
ALS says: If Hikari knew about us, I wouldn't even joke about how stupid you are because I know that neither of us would laugh because you're just so darn dumb.
ALS says: At least I never have to worry about you cheating on me. You're way too dumb to keep it a secret.
ALS says: Are you even paying attention to me?
SI says: I'm sorry. Everyone keeps messaging me. I'll be right back
Click
KA says: Look what you did! Now I'm in trouble for chewing gum! I have to clean the classroom for a whole week. Some pilot you are!
SI says: What does you getting caught have to do with… never mind. I'm sorry.
Click
ALS says: Who else are you talking to?
ALS says: It's one of the stooges, isn't it? Well I don't care if it's the queen of England. I take priority here and you better not forget it!
ALS says: Did you read what I just typed? What the heck is taking you so long to respond to this!
SI says: You type very quickly. I'm sorry. I think I just got Kensuke in trouble or something.
Click
TS says: Now you got Kensuke in trouble. That's not cool at all, man. And all this trouble because you couldn't wait till you got home to wank it.
SI says: I'm sorry about Kensuke, but MY HANDS ARE ABOVE THE DESK.
Click
ALS says: You're doing it right now aren't you! You're talking to someone else!
ALS says: I bet it's Toji.
ALS says: It is Toji, isn't it?
ALS says: well I hope you two are happy together. I wonder what he'll do when you try to hold his hand as you walk to school. I bet he'll like it.
SI says: I'm sorry Asuka. Please don't be mad. I had to answer him, he thinks I'm looking at… stuff.
ALS: What type of stuff?
SI says: Bad stuff
ALS: Like what?
SI says: I'd rather not say.
Click
TS says: Look man you know I'm just messing with you right?
TS says: but if you aren't looking at girls then what's taking you so long?
TS says: I knew it! You play the innocent guy and all that crap but you're just as bad as the rest of us.
TS says: Wow, it must be pretty good if you still haven't replied.
TS says: Can I get the website?
SI says: There is no website!
TS says: So you've got it downloaded? Even better. The school can't track that.
Click
SI says: I'M NOT LOOKING AT PORN
HH says: …no one said you were.
SI says: I'm sorry. Wrong message box… please don't tell anybody about this
HH says: Okay Ikari, but you shouldn't be messaging to begin with. I told you, I'm going to have to report you.
HH says: Who were you talking with?
SI says: Toji… but it's not his fault
HH says: Suzahara? Really? Did he say anything about me? Crap…I didn't mean to say that! But wait, why am I sending any of this? I could just have easily deleted the whole message!
HH says: Please don't tell anyone about this!
SI says: about what?
HH says: Exactly. Asuka was wrong about you. I guess I can let you off the hook this time.
SI says: What did Asuka say about me?
HH says: That's really none of your business Ikari. Now pay attention!
SI says: okay… sorry.
Click
ALS says: Why won't you tell me?
ALS says: It can't be that bad. Unless…
ALS says: You're looking at porn aren't you?
ALS says: Oh my god you are!
ALS says: So I'm not good enough for you now? You have to go fantasize about those trashy women?
ALS says: Your silence says it all! I bet you're dating other girls too! Aren't you?
ALS says: Aren't you?
ALS says: WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME!!!
SI says: I'm sorry… it was Horaki this time.
ALS says: Hikari! How low can you get? She's my best friend! And what do you mean by this time? There've been others? We've only been going out for two weeks!
SI says: NO! You've got it all wrong!
ALS says: Of course it's been two weeks! I can't believe you! First you start looking at porn, then you go mess around behind my back, and now you're telling me I can't tell the passage of time!
SI says: NO! I'm not looking at porn and I'm not dating Horaki! She was just mad at me because I wasn't paying attention. And I barely convinced her not to report me. And she's staring daggers at me right now! I'm sorry but I really have to go.
ALS says: Oh… well this is all you're fault. If you had just looked up like I told you, none of this would have happened.
SI says: I'm sorry.
ALS says: You know I hate it when you say that. Makes me think I've done something wrong.
SI says: I'm sorry.
ALS says: Shut Up!
SI says: I'm sorry.
ALS says: I guess I'm glad that you didn't get detention. Even if you can't type and look forward, at least you can still walk me home.
SI says: Talk to you later
ALS says: You're so dumb.
Click Click Click Click
All message boxes were closed.
----------
"You can't say he's been acting normal."
"He's a pilot, Toji. For them there is no normal… only extraordinary!"
"He's not extraordinary! He's just Shinji. And what type of word is extraordinary anyways? Extra means more and ordinary means ordinary. So when you put them together you should get 'more ordinary' not greater than ordinary."
"I guess you have a point."
"So you agree that he's been acting oddly?"
"No, I mean extraordinary is a stupid word. Honestly, Shinji's no more odd than usual."
"Uh… you guys do know I'm right here, right?"
"You see that Kensuke! He just stood up for himself!"
"Hmm… That is very un-Shinji-like."
"And that's not all man! He keeps making these strange smiling faces at his laptop during class and he got you in trouble and he won't share his… ahem… 'explicit material' with me."
"Really though, I've been walking with you guys the whole time. I can here everything you're saying about me… and I don't have explicit material!"
"Don't remind me about class. That old geezer has me working the whole week just for chewing one piece of gum. Can somebody tell me how that's fair? If Shinji wasn't a pilot I'd strangle him."
"Yeah, yeah, we all know you're a geek, but try and pay attention here. Just the fact that Shinji is looking at that stuff is messed up. And him not sharing is even weirder. The kid would give you his left arm if you asked him enough times. And he'd never try and get you in trouble like that. That's just so… not him."
"I really don't see how I got Kensuke in trouble. I mean, I didn't make him blow bubbles into his gum. Why can't we just drop it? I already apologized."
"There he goes again! Stickin' up for himself like he has some sort of pride or something!"
"It seems to me like you're way too interested in this Toji. What's it to you anyways?"
"I, uh, I just think it's weird that's all."
"I think you're worried."
"Me? Worried? No!"
"That's good. I always thought you preferred more assertive men anyways."
"What?"
"What?"
"Don't play stupid. We all know you've just been waiting for the perfect moment to ask Shinji out."
Toji took a wide swing at Kensuke and missed. It seemed that the geeky, yet smart-alecky kid was much too fast for his jock-like, yet secretly sensitive friend. Shinji just put his hand to his forehead and sighed. He desperately wished that the school's courtyard (where most students usually went to eat lunch) wasn't on the other side of the building.
It wasn't that Shinji didn't like walking through the halls with his friends. They weren't necessarily the nicest people he knew, but at least they put up with him and (for the most part) understood him. There were no other people in the world, besides Rei and Asuka, who even had an inkling of the stress put on him by Eva. And in the back of his mind he registered that them talking about him the way that they did showed that they truly did care… well at least Toji did.
And didn't they have a point? He had been acting strangely. Yeah, he'd been smiling more. He couldn't help it. Sure he'd been careless with schoolwork and a tad out of it when it came to his personal relationships, but it wasn't anything he could change. Maybe he had been sticking up for himself a little more than usual. Maybe it was because he finally had a reason to take pride in who he was. And it was sad, it truly was a shame that his friends would never know that all of this was happening because of one girl in his life.
"Asuka!" Shinji exclaimed as he violently bumped heads with said girl. The two of them both leaned back rubbing their heads. Shinji took this brief moment to consider how unlikely it was that anything of the sort would ever happen.
I know I was kinda out of it, but what are the chances that we would run into each other without noticing. And wouldn't Toji, Kensuke, or Horaki have warned us? It just seems so unlikely. Like something out of a sitcom. Or a horribly bad fan fiction.
These thoughts only lingered in the third child's head for a moment as he was quickly shaken to reality by Asuka's "rage". For reasons unbeknown to Shinji, the second child had grabbed him by the shoulders and was now staring at him with a fire he knew he could never quite match.
"Watch where you're going, you klutz!" she said and for a moment Shinji was taken aback. But then something clicked together in his mind and he remembered who he was dealing with.
Shinji somehow managed to meet Asuka's gaze as he said in the most serious tone possible, "I'm sorry. Not everyone can be as perfect as you are."
Hikari, Toji, and Kensuke all gasped as they each expected Shinji's life to violently end in a moments notice. Asuka, however, just smirked and said, "Don't you forget it. And remember to bring my lunch out with you." Without further words, she walked off down the hallway leaving three stunned (and one lightly smiling) teenagers in her wake. A moment later Hikari was trailing off after her friend, leaving Shinji to deal with his own. Kensuke still had his mouth hanging open, when Toji roughly grabbed Shinji roughly by the shoulders and pinned him up against a locker.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, but you better bring back the Shinjiness!" Toji yelled.
"It's really not that big a deal," said Shinji adverting his eyes.
"He didn't even flinch," said Kensuke in disbelief as if he was commenting on a pig that suddenly decided to fly.
"You talked back to the devil!" said Toji almost in a rage of sorts.
"And she was all in his face," said Kensuke to no one in particular. His face was turned downward in the most peculiar of frowns.
"She's not that bad… I mean she messes with me all the time. I'm used to it."
"She didn't even get mad at you!" said Toji, really seeming to lose his cool.
"Well… she's probably just getting used to me. We do live together."
"And her hands…" mumbled Kensuke discretely to himself. "Her hands were on… his shoulders?"
Seeing how useless the conversation was becoming Toji let Shinji go. He walked off towards the courtyard shaking his head all the way. Shinji thought about calling after him, but was cut off by a question asked by his other friend. Kensuke looked directing into Shinji's face and calmly asked the following:
"What the f-"
----------
The answer to the question above (which was cut off for the sake of censorship) is simply that it was a game. At least that's the way Shinji saw it. It was a thrill of sorts to flirt with the possibility of their closest friends finding out about them.
He understood that when Asuka pretended to be mad at him for running into her, it was for the benefit of those around them. He knew that when she yelled at him and called him a klutz it was so that no one in the school would even half-way entertain the thought that she was going soft. But at the same time he also understood that when she grabbed him by his shoulders and stared intensely into his eyes that it was completely for her own benefit.
It was moments like these in which Shinji thought he'd never feel more alive. The way she touched him for no other reason than to say to herself (and to him) that he was her own. The way she devoured him slowly with her forceful gaze and told him (in her own way) that the rest of the world could disappear and she wouldn't care as long as she had him to hold onto. It was time's like these when he knew, not thought, but knew that he loved her. And as he sat on the couch in Misato's living room sitting as close to Asuka as was reasonable with Misato in the room, he couldn't help but think that it was days like these that he lived for.
"Do you really think I'm a klutz?" It wasn't the fact that he asked the question that through Asuka off. It was a relatively safe question to ask given that Misato was asleep and it didn't directly pertain to their relationship. It was more the way that he asked it that somewhat startled her out of the comfortable silence that the three of them had settled into (some settled deeper than others). So she let the sounds of the romantic comedy that Misato had rented filter through the apartment before answering.
"Yeah, you're a klutz." As she said it she glanced over at him from the corner of her eyes only to met by Shinji's slightly defeated frown. "It's not like you trip over everything in sight," she reasoned, "but you do seem to lose motor control when you've got something on your mind."
"Only when I'm thinking of you," said Shinji blushing before he even finished the sentence. He was filled with a great satisfaction in seeing that Asuka was lightly blushing as well. While Asuka was not unmoved by a flattering complement she was hardly one to get flustered.
"Knock it off Casanova," she whispered quietly. "Misato's right there."
"But she's sleep," Shinji protested. Misato was more than unconscious. She was in an alcohol-induced coma. It seemed that she always had a few two many when she watched films of a romantic nature. "Besides, don't you want to know if I really think you're perfect?"
Asuka recognized this as an even more childish attempt to butter her up, but for some reason she couldn't resist him this time. "Okay, I'll bite. Even though I'm pretty sure I know where this is going."
"I don't think you're perfect," said Shinji softly. The look on Asuka's face clearly showed that that wasn't exactly what she had in mind. Shinji quickly remedied the issue by saying, "But I do think you're the closest to perfection that I'll ever reach."
"That is quite possibly the corniest thing I've ever heard you say."
Shinji was almost discouraged, but when he looked over at Asuka he saw that her lips held a small smile. And she had that glint in her eyes. The one that said, "if it wasn't for Misato and if we weren't taking things slow, I'd be all over you right now." Of course Shinji, being the timid boy that he is, didn't view it that way. He thought the look said something more along the lines of "I really want to hold your hand." An easy silence settled between the two of them and somehow or another Shinji found himself staring into Asuka's commanding eyes. In that moment, he knew without a doubt, that if the situation were different they would be holding hands… maybe even more. Even though he knew that it wasn't her fault, he cursed Misato in his mind.
It's okay kid. Said a voice in Shinji's mind. Some men just don't know how to milk the cow.
Maybe Misato wasn't the only reason that Asuka wasn't reaching out to touch him. Maybe, she was just waiting for Shinji to make the move. The more he thought about it the more sense it made.
It's not like I've never held her hand before. She's not even shy about it in public, as long as no one we know is around. And Misato is sound asleep. An earthquake couldn't wake her. Well maybe an earthquake… those are pretty loud and shaky. But Pen-Pen has been pecking at her leg for over half an hour and she didn't even so much as grunt. I mean sure in the past Asuka's always taken what she wanted… so she'd probably be holding my hand if she really wanted to. But maybe it's time I tried to get what I want. Did I forget to feed Pen-Pen this morning? Is that why he's pecking Misato so brutally? Why is Asuka staring at me like I'm sick or something? This isn't that hard. I'll just take what I want. That's what a man does. I want to hold her hand. And she likes me so she'll let me. Although a lot of time has passed since I began this mental dialogue and I'll bet the moment has passed. Maybe she doesn't even want to hold my hand right now. But no, I'm just chickening out. I'll take what I want, because I want it. It doesn't always have to be about her. And how else will I look Mr. Kaji in the face?
Gone was the scared and misgiving face that had somewhat worried Asuka for the majority of the time it took Shinji to finish his mental musings. It was replaced by a look of utmost confidence.
I'm so going to milk this cow!
Without further delay Shinji slowly brought his hand down to Asuka's lap where he found her hand patiently waiting. He felt the warmth and the acceptance that he had so longed for and valiantly thought, 'suck on that Mr. Kaji!'
"Shinji, no."
He didn't verbalize the feeling, but every fiber of Shinji's being screamed, "huh?" However, when he looked up everything became clear. It was written all over Asuka's face. The disappointed frown she wore, the light crease in her brow, and that look in her eyes that told you everything about you was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. This wasn't just mild rejection, this rejection was complete. This was a rejection from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. This was a rejection from the greatest heights of mental development to the deepest depths of man's very soul. No, Asuka wasn't just saying she didn't like what he was doing. She was saying that she despised him for everything he was. Suddenly Shinji understood what it felt like to be a house pet left outside.
"No," she said again with more force than before. Shinji quickly withdrew his hand from hers as if the physical contact was causing him pain. He abruptly got up from his seat on the couch causing Pen-Pen to squawk and startling even Misato from her slumber.
"Huh wha-" cried Misato before gaining her bearings. "I was just resting my eyes!" With no further words the violet-haired major took her leave into her room. Shinji and Asuka were finally alone, but the circumstances were less than optimal.
"I…" Shinji began to apologize before turning the statement in a completely different direction. "Pen-Pen needs food." Dutifully Shinji made his way into the kitchen to feed the poor flightless bird. Though Shinji did not take one backward glance, Pen-Pen could not leave the room without giving the German girl a piece of his mind.
He waddled his way in front of her looked up into her remarkably weary blue eyes and uttered a single indignant "Wark!" before waddling off after Shinji. For reasons that she will never quite understand, Asuka Langley Soryu was moved by guilt.
She slowly and hesitantly made her way into the kitchen, each step taken more begrudgingly than the last. When she reached her destination she was greeted by the sight of Shinji's back as he sat backwards on a chair, petting Pen-Pen as he silently ate. Shinji's chin rested heavily upon his left arm, which was resting heavily on the back of the chair, while his right arm dangled loosely down to where the penguin sat. In Asuka's mind, the picture was complete: it was an image of complete dejection.
"Shinji," she said softly. The boy in question continued to stare off into some fixed point in the kitchen, but his shoulders visibly tensed. His right hand ceased its stroking motion. Pen-Pen predictably continued to eat.
"I'm not going to say I'm sorry," said Asuka as she lightly placed her hands on his shoulders. She slowly began to lightly kneed and massage the skin around that area. "But you know better than to try anything while Misato is around." Before Shinji could even begin to respond, Asuka was sitting behind him on the chair, leaning lightly into his back with her head resting up against his. She slowly ran her fingers through his short hair.
"Shinji," Asuka said once again as if he hadn't heard her. "Maybe one day… everyone will know about us. We won't have to hide it. We'll tell Misato together and she'll tease us about it. Hikari and I will laugh about you behind your back. Heck, we'll even tell you're boneheaded friends." At these last words she playfully rapped a fist against Shinji's head for emphasis.
"But you understand, don't you?" she said so softly it sent shivers down his spine. "I'm not ready for them to know. I just… I can't deal with it yet. You're not mad are you?"
Shinji closed his eyes and let out a breath.
"No… I'm not mad."
Shinji didn't see it, but Asuka smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, or even a relieved smile. It was a sick sort of smile… the kind that one smiles only for one's self.
"I'm glad, then," she said quite truthfully. "I don't like it when you're hurt."
"I know."
"You just have to be patient with me. Okay?"
"Alright," said Shinji wearily. When Asuka was so close to him, it was nearly impossible for him to think. "I just… I need to get some sleep."
"Okay, Shinji," said Asuka sweetly. It was comforting to hear her speak in such a voice, but at the same time somehow wrong. "Goodnight." As she got up from her spot behind him she placed a light kiss on his cheek, before turning and walking out of the kitchen.
Shinji lightly traced the spot with his hand. A small part of him wished that she hadn't bothered.
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Thinking was hard for Shinji that night. He had tried to sleep and realized that he couldn't with so much on his mind. So instead he tried to work out his problems, but was met with difficulty as he found himself to be much too tired for coherent thought.
She said no… but she kissed me.
He'd been in bed for about two hours and that was as far as he'd gotten. Every time he thought that he had broke new ground it always came back to this one realization. So he tried again to go to sleep, but found that tossing and turning was the only thing he'd be getting accomplished that night.
As he turned to the right for what seemed like the hundredth time, he was met by the sight of his nightstand. The alarm clock read 2:00 AM. He'd be waking up in less than 4 hours… assuming he slept at all that night.
But as these thoughts entered his mind he was distracted by something else on the nightstand. When Shinji squinted his eyes through the darkness, he saw that it was a white and rectangular something. After picking that something up and bringing it up to his face for closer examination, he found that that something just happened to be the card of one Ryoji Kaji.
"I thought I threw this out," Shinji whispered into the darkness. But then he remembered what had happened when he came upstairs from folding the laundry the night before. He had gone to throw the card out, but found that there was no bag in the garbage can in his room. He knew that most people wouldn't have a problem throwing something out without a bag, but it wasn't going to happen on his watch. So instead he placed the card on his nightstand.
Which brings us back to the present. Before Shinji knew what he was doing he had his cell phone in hand and was dialing the number. His finger hovered over the button that read "send".
"Do I really want to call him?" he mused aloud. "He's worse than Misato. He'll just make fun of me."
I've been where you are and I know it's not an easy place to be.
In an impulsive move he pressed the send button, sealing his fate. The phone began to ring and he briefly thought of hanging up. Better not… he probably has caller ID. Shinji didn't have to wait long before Kaji answered.
"Kaji's Love Shack, how can I help you miss?"
"Uh… this is… uh Shinji…"
There was silence on both ends.
"You shouldn't call this number after 10:37, kid."
"I… uh… I'm sorry… I can call later… if you're busy."
Kaji sighed tiredly. "Nah I'm up now. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"
"It's… it's Asuka…"
"Bad huh?" said Kaji sympathetically. It was less of a question and more of a statement.
"Yeah…"
"What happened, kid?"
"I tried… I tried to do like you said."
"You tried to milk the cow?"
"Yeah… and she… she just…"
"She rejected you…"
"Yeah… I just wanted to hold her hand… but Misato-"
"Misato was there…"
"Yeah… but it's getting sort of annoying to have you-"
"Finish all your sentences?"
"Yeah…"
"Sorry… Continue."
"Well… She just… she pulled away… well not physically pulled away, but it was worse. And she said no… but when she said it… it was like she was saying no to everything I could ever ask of her. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that look… that look she gave me. It was like… like I'd done the worst thing I could possibly do. It was like I'd crossed a line that I didn't even know was there… it was like… it was like she was saying… it was like she was telling me to…"
"It was like she was telling you to get back in your place."
Once again there was silence on both ends. It was a silence born of sadness.
"Mr. Kaji…"
"Yes, Shinji?"
"I never want to see that look on her face again."
On the other end of the line Kaji smiled encouragingly, but Shinji never saw it.
"Don't worry kid… Just come to work on Monday, It'll all be taken care of…"
Shinji was glad that no one could see tears over the phone.
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AN: I had lots of trouble with this chapter. Lot's of trouble indeed. I just wasn't sure how to introduce Toji, Kensuke and Hikari into the story. So instead of coming up with some fabulous, creative, never-seen-before, plot device I decided to do a cheesy, run-of-the-mill chat room thing. Three scoops of mediocrity for everyone! Oh well, at least it was funny… I think. Well I'll stop babbling and let the story speak for itself. See ya next chapter. Until then, long days and pleasant nights.