A/N: Thank you for the reviews.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and Reid's statistics came from Wikipedia.

Chapter Five: Heart

Early September 2012 (Present Time)

"Thanks for coming with me Garcia." Emily smiled at the woman next to her at her doctor's office.

"Oh honey, I honestly wouldn't let anyone else come. Reid would just scare you and JJ already went through all this so she knows it all and Dave couldn't make it. That left me and Derek. Who would you rather? Me of course!" She giggled. "Plus this is your first real doctor's appointment so it's special."

"I did have an appointment when I found out. They did all the normal things then. This is more like a check up."Emily said nervously bouncing her knees in the waiting room.

Garcia watched her with a bright smile. "Em, calm down. It's going to be fine." She took the brunette's hand in hers with a gentle squeeze.

"Emily Prentiss" the nurse called out.

Emily stood up taking a calming breath and walked to the nurse with Garcia following after her. They were taken to a small exam room where Emily was told to sit on the table and Garcia pulled up a chair next to her.

"Alright Ms. Prentiss, Dr. Roberts will be here in a few minutes." The nurse smile and left the room.

"Emily, stop being so nervous, it's going to be fine. Plus we get to see our little Prentiss." Garcia practically squealed.

Emily rolled her eyes and chuckled. "I know it's just nerve racking."

"Don't think about it. So when do you think you will find out if it's a boy or girl?" she asked trying to distract the brunette.

"Not for a little while longer."

The blonde huffed. "Which do you want?"

"Doesn't matter. I know everyone says it but as long as the baby is healthy I'm good." she rubbed at her nonexistent baby bump. She hadn't started showing by any means yet but she could tell the pants were starting to sit funny on her hips and getting a little tight.

"Well, I think the poll is saying girl."

Emily rolled her eyes again. Everyone on the team made predictions about the baby's sex even though Emily told them it was still a while till she would find out. That is if she wanted to know. She wasn't quite sure she did. The surprise would be nice but then she wanted to know so she could get the nursery setup.

"Hey Emily, how are you doing?" The blond haired doctor came in.

"I'm okay."

"No she's not. She's a nervous wreck." Garcia smiled beside her.

Dr. Roberts laughed softly. "That's normal. Let's get started shall we?"

After the normal run down of blood pressure and so on the doctor moved the ultrasound machine into place and had Emily lay down.

"I know we listened to the heartbeat before but with your age and stress levels of your job I would like to do it again and let you see the baby. And you are about twelve weeks so you should get a nice look at her." She explained.

"Awesome!" Garcia squealed. "She said 'her' too!"

Emily laughed and turned to the screen as the doctor put the gel on her abdomen. Moving the wand around a bit the heartbeat was heard. Emily's world seemed to slow at that very moment. The fast beating of her baby's heart was the sweetest sound she had ever heard even if she heard it before. She just couldn't get over it. Tears pricked her eyes and Garcia squeezed her hand. "That's amazing." She whispered.

"Look right there." The doctor pointed.

My baby

The black and gray image made Garcia clap and gasp loudly but Emily just stared. She had been waiting for this moment for so long that it didn't seem real. But it was.

Her hand wandered to her stomach and her other hand reached for the screen. Moving her fingers over the image she let out silent tears.

This was happening.

-CM-CM-

Walking back into the BAU Emily quickly made her way to her desk putting her bag down and turned to Reid. "Spence, amniocentesis, go!"

"Ah, well an amniocentesis is performed between the 15th and 20th week of pregnancy. A needle is inserted through the abdominal wall, then through the wall of the uterus, and finally into the amniotic sac. With the use of an ultrasound the physician punctures the sac and extracts amniotic fluid. Back in the 70's the rate of miscarriages were rather high 1 in 200 but now it's more 1 in 1,200. While it is used for detecting Down syndrome, Turners syndrome and Edwards syndrome in many countries it is illegal due to the fact the sex can be determined."

"And my age being a factor should I do it?" she asked.

"Emily, I can tell you the facts and all but I can't tell you to do it. It's your baby." He said sweetly. "What does your doctor recommend?"

"She says I should. I'm nearly 42 and the risk of Down syndrome is greater along with other problems."

"Then I would suggest taking her advice." He smiled.

"Thanks Spence." She turned to the piles of paperwork on her desk.

-CM-CM-

Hotch watched as she came in from his office window. Over the past few weeks he found himself watching her more and more. She was changing already even though anyone who just looks at her couldn't see it. But he could tell. He knew every inch of her body. He knew every freckle and every scar.

Her hips were growing wider but only slightly. Emily had always been very thin with just a little curves but now she was looking curvier, but in a very good way. He grinned, you wouldn't be able to tell she had a baby bump but he could. The waist band of her pants must be getting tighter he figured.

He remembered Haley complaining about not fitting into her jeans at this stage but Emily was smaller than his ex wife so it might not be as bad yet.

People would always say Haley glowed but he never saw it. He did notice her skin looking healthier but not glowing. Maybe he just didn't understand the expression. But Emily… she radiated. He knew it was just hormones but Emily looked beautiful.

"Hotch?" JJ walked into his office disturbing his staring.

"Yes?" he asked trying to pull his eyes off the laughing woman in the bullpen.

"Here" she handed him a file. "Quit staring at her, she will notice."

"I'm not…"

"Yes you are." she interrupted. "Are you doing okay?" she asked sincerely.

"Okay I am. I can't help it. She just… I miss her." he admitted softly. Every time he was alone his mind wandered to her. He thought about what she was doing and what she was feeling. He became useless in his relationship with Beth. Comparing the two women he knew he couldn't be with Beth. Emily reined over her in every department but Emily didn't want him. She was happy now. She was having a baby.

Late April 2012 (Flashback)

Hotch sat down on the couch next to Emily as she cuddled up next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. "What's on your mind? You've been quiet all night." They decided to have nice night in but every time he went to say something she was in another place. It was starting to worry him.

She took a minute then looked up at him. The look on her face was serious so he sat up straighter and turned more into her. "It's okay honey just tell me." He encouraged.

"Can I ask you a question?" he nodded. "Be honest, do you want more kids?" she bit her lip and waited.

He was silently going over his answer and he hoped it wouldn't upset her. "No"

"Oh" her face fell and confusion was written all over it.

"I have Jack. And I love being a father but I will not put another child in danger like I did with Jack." He quickly said. After Foyet killed Haley he promised himself he would never put his son in another situation like that and to have more kids or even another wife would give more opportunity to any of the Unsub's they take down.

"I'm just gunna go to bed." She quickly got up and went to their bedroom.

"Em?" he tried to get her back but after the door closed in his face he figured she needed time alone. He went back to the couch and took a seat knowing he just broke her heart but he couldn't change his mind.

Not even for her.

Early September 2012 (Present Time)

"She misses you too." JJ broke through to him.

"She told me to stay away. Plus she's having a baby." He said but it was mainly to himself.

"She is. How do you feel about that?"

Hotch grinned a little. JJ was like the mother hen of the BAU. She was always there for anyone in need. He missed that when she was away at the State Department. "I'm happy for her. She always wanted a baby and I didn't want that. Now she has it."

"Why don't you?"

"JJ, I can't put any more people in danger." He walked to his desk after one last look at the brunette through the window.

"She wouldn't tell me but is this why you broke up?" she asked curiously.

He didn't really want to tell her why they broke up but JJ had a way of getting to things that nobody wanted others to know. "No it isn't. We did discuss it but it wasn't why we broke up. When I told her I didn't want kids I think it crushed her but I believe she would have been okay with it eventually."

JJ realized that was as much as she was getting when he opened her file and signed his name. She quietly took the signed document and left the office.

Hotch put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He didn't want to think about the day Emily left their home. It was messy and heartbreaking. And he would never be able to put it back together.