Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or anyone or anything from Bleach. It's as simple as that. Everything else, however, is mine. :D

Chapter 5: My Reason, part 1

I remember Ichigo saying something about sleepless nights. Now, I think I know what he meant. It's 4 am and I haven't even been able to close my eyes during the 5 hours or so I've been home. Instead I've kept my eyes trained on the ceiling, restless thoughts running through my mind.

Who am I? What happened tonight? How was I suddenly able to kill that monster…the Hollow? What is a Hollow anyways?! Sighing, I roll over and wish I could sleep. But, these questions keep plaguing me. And I'm not entirely sure I want answers to all of them.

The sword…what happened to it? I think it's somehow connected to my power. I have just now realized that when I woke up this morning my power had become stronger than it was the day before. I was way more sensitive to spirits this morning than I have ever been in the past. Also, I now realize that most of the people I saw this morning were dead. I was seeing the souls of the dead: ghosts. I've never been able to actually see ghosts before: just sense them. Some of them even had chains coming out of their chests. And I definitely have never seen a Hollow before either! By some means my power has grown and now I've become something more than just me. I'm a…I must be…a Soul Reaper. What does that mean?

This train of thought brings me back to Ichigo. He's Soul Reaper too. Does he have the same kind of power I have? Now that I think of it I can remember feeling some sort of strange power coming from him too…can I now sense of the souls of living as well as the dead? And Rukia's connected too…

Argh. I roll over again causing the bed to squeak loudly underneath me. My conscience has decided to give me a guilt trip. I didn't really mean all those things I said to Ichigo. I was just so scared and confused. I was completely overwhelmed and attacking Ichigo (a bit unfairly my conscience adds) was the way I tried to escape. Tried. I'm still afraid. Argh…I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut. I sigh again and turn onto my back. Slowly, the ceiling blurs and fades into black as my eyes flutter shut.

…At the Kurosaki Clinic…

Ichigo and Rukia were not much better off than Taylor was. Neither of them had managed to get any sleep yet, but because they were afraid to disturb each other they remained silent and alone with their thoughts.

Ichigo fought the urge to pound his pillow until it exploded. His guilt had turned to anger and resentment and now just thinking about Taylor made his blood boil. How dare she blame him like that! It wasn't his fault the damn Hollow had stomped on him! Ichigo had always wanted to protect people and took it as his duty to protect his friends and family. After his failed encounter with the Hollow who had killed his mother Ichigo had become especially sensitive to any failure in that enterprise. Taylor's harsh words, both wrong and somewhat justified, and dealt a bad blow to his pride and his conscience.

That bitch! Ichigo thought venomously, violently throwing himself over to his other side. CRACK!! Cursing softly, he rubbed the knee he had just banged into the wall, wishing that he had never run into the blonde haired girl.

Rukia listened to Ichigo's quiet curses from inside her closet. Tonight's events had presented them with quite the dilemma. Taylor had clearly become a Soul Reaper. This worried Rukia greatly. She had a sneaking suspicion about where Taylor had gotten her zanpakuto from, but what she really needed to know was where Taylor had gotten the power to wield that zanpaktuo. Though she may have been a human with unusual spiritual strength, that didn't make her a Soul Reaper. She had to have acquired her Soul Reaper abilities from an outside source…

Rukia pulled her spirit pager out of the front pocket front of her pajamas and flipped it open. Everything's quiet…for now. Carefully she flipped the device shut. Clearly she and Ichigo would have to do something about Taylor. If they didn't more and more Hollows would be drawn to hunt her and that would put many other people in danger. Rukia closed her eyes, silently promising herself that she would come up with a solution in the morning.

Karakura 1st High School…The end of 4th period…11:57 am…

Remember those old Peanuts cartoons? The ones where all the grownups talk in 'Wahs'? Well, that's all I've been getting from my teachers all morning. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to focus. My thoughts are all scattered, like the unlucky bug that gets smashed on a windshield. Wow…that was a nice simile…obviously my lack of sleep isn't helping either.

I can't stop thinking about the dream that my unconsciousness managed to insert into the couple hours of sleep I did get. It was another one in which I'm dressed like a Soul Reaper. However, this time I didn't have a sword and there weren't any weird shadowy creatures. Instead there were other people dressed like Soul Reapers and we were all sitting around and talking and laughing. It was actually very pleasant. A happy dream.

The other reason(s) I can't concentrate are Ichigo and Rukia. They've been shooting me weird looks all day. Most of Rukia's glances have been curious, perplexed, questioning stares. I can't help but wonder why she seems so intrigued by me. All of Ichigo's looks have been intense glares, the kind that say 'If you so much as look back at me I'm gonna kill you!!' I guess he's still mad…heh heh. Oops.

Sighing heavily I rest my chin in my palm and try to fight gravity as it tempts my lids downwards. If only this teacher wasn't soooo boring…it's so close now. So close… Just a little longer….

BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG!!!

Yes. Lunchtime.

The noise level in classroom explodes as everyone prepares to leave for lunch. I can hear the teacher trying (in vain) to shout something about homework over the rumble that is the exiting class. Grabbing my brown-bag lunch, I bolt for the door intent on finding the quietest and most isolated spot in the school. The roof, I decide, as I stride down the hallway. No one's going to eat on the roof.

…

"Where…is it? Damn it…" I can't help complaining aloud as I fish around in my paper bag for the tuna sandwich I made this morning. The roof has proved to be quite a nice location. The sun is pleasantly warm on my back and a cooling breeze breathes around me, keeping the air from getting too hot. Now, if only I could find my sandwich…

I have just triumphantly pulled the sandwich from my bag when there is the loud squeak of a door swinging open and the sound of footsteps on the concrete rooftop. Twisting around I see Ichigo framed by the doorway with a bag of his own and wearing a scowl that, if looks could kill, would have had me six feet under already. I knew he was still mad.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he questions, his voice cold, hard, and razor sharp.

"Well, I was going to eat my lunch." I reply, my voice just as icy. The remorse I've been feeling since I got home last night has evaporated in my indignation. Before I did want to apologize for what I said to him after he rescued me. I might even have thanked him! But, now? No way in hell. "Then again, since I seem to be in your personal lunch spot, I'll leave." I stand and purposefully walk towards the door.

Ichigo, however, makes no move to get out of my way. Instead he just stands there glaring daggers at me as I stop a few feet away. I open my mouth to tell him to get out the way, but he interrupts.

"What the hell is your problem anyway?" he asks, his look scathing. I have to admit he is kind of intimidating when's angry. There's something wild, almost crazed, hidden deep within his eyes. It takes all my willpower to keep from flinching at the harshness of his expression and his next words. "I risk my life to save your ass and all you can do is yell? Do you have one scrap of concern for anyone but yourself? After all I did, the least you could do was show some damn understanding!"

I blink, surprised. Ichigo really does take that Soul Reaper thing seriously. Or, perhaps, there is some kind of deeper motivation… Or maybe he's just being bitchy. But, I know what I have to do, despite feeling resentful.

"I…I'm sorry." I say grudgingly. Refusing to meet his now amazed and puzzled eyes I continue, "I went too far last night. I didn't mean all the things that I said. I'm sorry. Now please, move."

Silently, he complies and I walk past him and down the stairs. I can feel his gaze on my back as I disappear from sight, descending into the shadows of the staircase. I pass his little gang of friends on the way down. They all go silent and watch me inquiringly as I hurry past them. As I reach the bottom of the stairs I can hear their voices exploding with questions about what we were doing together before the door snaps soundly shut.

I feel as though I've had a great weight lifted off my shoulders. I've been feeling guilty since I woke up this morning and apologizing has relieved some of the pressure. Still though, I wonder if it was the right thing to do. Do I really owe him that much? And he might start getting ideas that I'll change my mind about being a Soul Reaper. Shouldn't I get to decide whether or not I take on that responsibility? Shaking my head to clear these thoughts of out my mind I head back downstairs to the classroom in hopes of having a quiet peaceful lunch.

My hopes are squashed, however, as I arrive to find a small group of girls clustered around several desks in the middle of the room. To my surprise I see that Rukia is one of them. I would have thought she and Ichigo would hang out together…apparently not. All the girls turn and stare at me as I stand in the doorway, suspicion and distaste in their eyes. There is an awkward moment as we simply watch at each other. Absentmindedly, I wish that I was wearing my hat so that it would hide my face if not my hair color. Sensing that I am not in the least bit welcome, I turn to leave.

"Wait! Please don't go!" I stop and whip around. My eyes and everyone else's rest upon a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl whose chest is large enough to make the most prude man feel horny. She is standing with one hand clutched over her heart, her eyes hesitant, but hopeful. "Won't you come and eat lunch with us?" she asks, turning back to her friends as if pleading for support.

"Yea, why don't you eat lunch with us?" a girl with short black hair and brown eyes says casually, now smiling at me. The other girl beams at her. "Just cause you're new doesn't mean you have to be an outcast." she continues, grinning.

All I can do is blink stupidly at them. This is a first. Normally I have a hard time making friends because my temper is short and because my hair is weird. But now (on my second day!) I'm being invited to have lunch…Maybe I should join them just for the novelty! Cautiously, my eyes rove over the group, lingering on Rukia. She's wearing that disgustingly cheery fake smile, but she's watching me keenly. With one last glance at Rukia, I turn back to the big-busted girl.

Well, here goes nothing. "Sure. I'll eat lunch with you guys."

"Great!" the big-busted girl says enthusiastically. She then proceeds to draw up a chair between herself and the black-haired girl and I sit to have my first lunch with my new…friends.

…Outside the Kurosaki Clinic…8:34 pm…

"Come on mom!" I growl, struggling to drag my mother down the sidewalk. As trashed as she is I'm surprised that she's able to stand at all. Giggling madly, my mom makes a dive for the curb. I grab her around the middle to keep her from making contact with the concrete. Hoisting her arm across my shoulders, we continue our way down the walkway towards home.

What a sad picture we must make. Me, a 14 year-old girl, half dragging, half carrying her grown, drunken mother home. I suppose it's better than her getting thrown out of a bar and sleeping in the gutter. That's just what the guy at the bar who called had threatened to do if I didn't "get my ass down there real quick and drag my mom's ass home". Apparently my mom and her friends had gotten smashed early and were just a bit too rowdy to retain their welcome.

My mom makes another lunge for the ground, but this time it isn't because she's falling. I reel back, disgusted, at the stench of alcohol and half-digested food as my mother heaves the contents of her stomach onto the sidewalk. Grimacing, I decide to take a quick look around to distract myself. It appears to be just your typical quiet little neighborhood, apparently empty despite the fact that it's still early. However, the area isn't familiar and I get the feeling that I might be lost again. I really need to start carrying a map.

There is one thing unique about this neighborhood, however. A large neon sign hangs from one of the larger houses farther down the street. Curious, I decide to investigate. When I reach the house though, I can't help but wish that I had chosen some other street to drag my mom down. 'Kurosaki Clinic' is printed on the blazing sign in big, bold letters. Kurosaki is Ichigo's last name and I can remember Orihime, the girl with the big chest who invited me to lunch, saying something about Ichigo's dad being a doctor. With all clues pointing towards the same answer, I can't help but conclude that…this is Ichigo's house!

Shoving my hands into my pockets, I stand in front of the house for a minute scowling and imaging all the things that Ichigo might say if he found me and my drunk mother on his doorstep. I may have apologized to him today, but I doubt he's forgiven me. Fighting off a sudden shiver of horror I turn with the intent of grabbing my mom and hauling ass out of there and away from Ichigo's house.

"T-Taylor!" my mom groans from farther down the street, her hand grabbing urgently at the air. "Take me home now please…" she continues, some of the drunken slur gone from her voice. Apparently emptying her stomach has sobered her up a little. Upon reaching her, I heave my mom's arm across my shoulders, glance back one more time at Ichigo's house, and make for the corner, my thoughts now concerned with how I'm going to find our way home.

I'm stopped in my tracks as we round the corner as my death sense twinges. I wince, the feeling coming again as a bolt of pain shooting through my brain. I twist around, trying to identify what the source of the sensation is. Quietly, I urge my mother to move a little faster, my pulse pounding in my ears as panic grows in my stomach. Ignoring my mother's protests I move as fast as possible without running towards the corner, my urgency increasing with every step as the feeling of a spirit intensifies. This is such a bad time! There's no way that we can get away if I have to carry my mom! Silenetly, I pray that whatever is coming is just a regular ghost.

"N-no!" I gasp aloud as a crushing pressure descends, forcing me to my knees. This feeling…I recognize it…No! No, no, no! Panting heavily I turn around, knowing what I will see behind me. It's still a shock though. A Hollow is appearing from a dark hole in the very fabric of space itself, ripping open the barrier between this world and the next. It's howl tears through the still air of the neighborhood and my body begins to shake uncontrollably. It's my worst nightmare all over again. Time slows to a crawl as the Hollow fully manifests, the hole closing behind it as it emerges.

This Hollow looks completely different from the one last night. Standing on two legs, it reminds me of a chimpanzee with huge hairy arms that are twice as long as its legs. Its mask has a strange pig-like quality to it. The faint humanity of the face is contorted by a short, upturned nose, a large under bite, and two massive tusks curving upward from its lower jaw. The nightmare is completed by the gaping hole in the Hollow's chest through which I can see the gleaming of streetlights at the far end of the road. Time has now stopped as we, the Hollow and I, stare at each other. There is total silence except for the pounding of my heart and the soft snuffling noises of the Hollow's breathing.

Time is suddenly thrown back into to motion as the Hollow roars and I scream, "Run!" in unison. I whip around and sprint as best I can, dragging my mother along beside me. She is barely alert and very unhappy about having to move quickly, but I do the best I can to keep her stumbling along. The Hollow also leaps forward with much more speed than its massive body should allow. Now time is moving fast, far too fast. I have never been so desperate to get away from anything in my life. I have to get my mother away. I have too!

But, I am not fast enough. In the blink of an eye the Hollow is upon us. The monster raises one of its massive, clawed hands and swipes downwards. Then there is a horrible pain in my side and the feeling of complete and utter despair as I realize that I have failed. I hear a high, panic-stricken scream and then my world goes black as my head collides with concrete.

…

DING DONG! DING DONG!! DIIIIIIIIIIIING DONG!!

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ichigo shouted as he stomped his way to the door. He was extra grumpy this evening because Yuzu made him do the dishes as "punishment" for being in a bad mood at dinner. As far as Ichigo was concerned it wasn't his fault that he was grouchy. After all it wasn't his fault that Taylor had to be a bitch the night before and then go and apologize to him at lunch. Women! he thought vehemently.

The doorbell rang again as Ichigo reached the door. Throwing the dishtowel he had been using over his shoulder Ichigo wrenched the door open, intent on chewing out whoever had decided to piss him off. However, Ichigo's voice died in his throat in favor of a grunt of astonishment as he saw who was on his doorstep.

"Please…" she panted heavily, her voice weak and broken. "Please, help us…" Taylor stood on the doorstep covered in blood, a pleading and despondent expression on her face. She carried an unconscious dark-haired woman, the woman's arm slung across her shoulder. The woman was also injured, dark blood dripping from multiple wounds onto the Kurosaki's doormat.

Ichigo shouted for his dad before taking the woman's arm and helping both her and Taylor inside. "Wh-what happened?!" Ichigo stuttered, hardly daring to believe his eyes.

"There was a Hollow…." Taylor replied in barely contained sobs. "It attacked us…It hurt my mother…" Taylor looked up into Ichigo's face, her eyes over-bright and her cheeks wet with tears. Her expression could only be described as guilt-ridden and Ichigo suddenly felt chilled as he imagined what must have happened.

Ichigo was overcome by a feeling of deja vu. His head was reeling at the disturbing familiarity of the scene. It reminded him of the day his mother had died and he was nearly overwhelmed by unexpected empathy for Taylor's plight. Before Ichigo had the chance to say anything else Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin arrived and the entire Kurosaki family burst into action, grabbing bandages, IV's, and stitches.

Even as Isshin hurried to treat Taylor's mother and Yuzu and Karin hurried to bandage Taylor's wounds, Taylor's worried eyes never left her mother. And Ichigo's astonished gaze never left Taylor's haggard face.

Author's Note:

I apologize that this chapter was not everything I promised that it would be. Originally My Reason was only going to be broken into 2 parts, but once I reached this point it just got to be too much so I decided to break it into 3 parts. A lot happened in this part though and the passage above seemed like a good place to stop. I will get the next chapter out shortly (probably by the end of the weekend at the latest) and part 2 will have all the background and stuff I promised.

Ok…so…shout outs to Kisa44, a first time reviewer for this story, and to Hailey-Stone who has reviewed a second time. Yay for my 2 reviewers of the last chapter and to all the people who have reviewed thus far!

I hope everyone enjoyed part 1 and that everyone looks forward to part 2! Thanks for reading!!

imagination junkie