Chapter Nine:
No Escape
"A sickened mind and spirit,
the mirror tells me lies,
could I mistake myself for someone,
who lives behind my eyes?
Will he escape my soul,
or will he live in me?
Is he trying to get out,
or trying to enter me?"
-Ozzy Osbourne, Diary of a madman
"any one of us could be an imitation"
This is when the paranoia really started to kick in.
I'll never forget that look Haruhi gave us, eyes as wide as dinner plates. She stepped back a few feet, eying us all suspiciously. What expressive eyes she had! They looked right at me as if to say, 'I don't know you, stay away!'
"Is... is that really possible?" she asked Nagato.
"Yes"
Koizumi looked to the sky worriedly, his annoying smile now long gone.
"I think we should head inside, I believe a storm is coming"
I followed his gaze and saw a faint dark line off in the distance, I don't know if that necessarily meant a storm was coming to us, but I had a feeling that a storm of another kind was on it's way...
once we got back inside and put our snow gear up, there was a dead silence. Everyone eyed one another cautiously, I admit that paranoia's destructive grip was beginning to hold me as well.
I put the flamethrower down in the hallway, I didn't really want to part with it, but I didn't want to cause anyone to become more nervous than they already were. There was just too much tension, and inciting an epidemic of hysteria was not on my to do list.
I couldn't think of anything better to do, so I sat alone at the poker table, just thinking. I don't know where everyone else went, probably to their rooms to sleep with one eye open, everyone seemed pretty drained from that experience. Or maybe they just wanted to be alone, like me.
Sleep was the last thing on my mind. I don't know how long I sat there with my head in my hands, but I was interrupted eventually by Haruhi plopping down across from me.
"Kyon... how long were you alone with that dog?"
I had to think about that, I was never alone with it, but it was with Koizumi and myself for maybe a few minutes...
"four, five minutes tops, but Koizumi was with me the whole time" I told her honestly.
She crossed her arms, frowning at me,
"And you didn't notice anything strange about it at all?"
Koizumi was right about the coming storm, the howling wolf winds outside could be heard very clearly at this point.
I could have told her about my intuition, but I didn't want her to think I was some kind of supernatural being, or worse yet, an imitation.
"Nope" I said flatly
"That's exactly what I thought you'd say... you need to be more observant, Kyon!"
She's one to talk, telling me I need to be more observant, when all the supernatural stuff happens right under her nose, that I have to take care of!
And what about her? She was gone before that thing ate Taniguchi!
I could feel that familiar terror flitting across my nervous system,
"Haruhi, where were you, today?"
"W-what? You couldn't possibly think... I'm not one of them! I'd know if I was!"
she was getting pretty defensive, but I think the real Haruhi would too...
"All I know is, before that thing got Taniguchi, you and Miss Asahina were nowhere to be seen."
she clenched her fist.
"I was in the shower!"
she pointed out her half frozen hair.
Maybe I do need to be more observant... but can you really blame me for not noticing? I was fighting for my life with a monster from Lovecraft's reject pile after all!
"See my hair! It was frozen when we went outside to burn that thing, don't you think that proves I'm me and not one of them?"
maybe... but then again that thing could have got to her while she was in the shower.
I really hope not though, it'd be an awful way to go.
"That only proves where you were, not who you are"
She looked hurt by my statement, and took interest in a deck of cards without meeting my gaze.
"Kyon... I can't believe you'd say that... am I really that untrustworthy?"
She had definitely picked up the ability to guilt trip me over the past year, damn spoiled brat.
But was she untrustworthy? I had to think back to when I first met her, Haruhi and 'trustworthy' never found their way into the same sentence. Had she ever intentionally gotten anyone hurt though? No, even though she never put anyone's feelings above her own back in those days, she never once gave me the impression that she would want anybody dead. Drag me by my tie and nearly strangle me? Sure. Jump kick someone in the face for no discernible reason what so ever? Why not? But never once had she gotten anyone seriously injured on purpose.
"Listen, Haruhi, I don't want to think that, but can you blame me for not trusting you? And it's not just you, it's everyone! Even Koizumi, and he's rarely left my sight!"
Haruhi began shuffling the deck, with a determined gleam in her eye.
"I guess that's understandable, but I'm you're infallible brigade leader! Nothing's going to get me!"
That was a Haruhi answer if there ever was one, but maybe that's what she want's me to think? Haruhi is acting pretty much like I'd expect her to act, with a few surprising differences, but I think that's just how she's changed over time. But then again... that thing did a dead on impersonation of a dog, would a human being really be that difficult to imitate?
"I have an idea, look here."
She held a card in front of her, facing away from me so I couldn't tell what it was.
"What card am I holding?"
how the hell would I know?
"There's no way I could know that, Haruhi. What are you trying to do?"
"Just take a guess!" She commanded
I sighed deeply,
"I don't know, three of hearts?"
she frowned and put the card back in the deck.
"well I thought maybe they'd be telepathic, but you're acting like I'd expect you to..."
I frowned too, what gave her the idea that they were telepathic?
"Why would they be telepathic?"
Sighing, she said,
"I don't know, I thought it would be convenient for them..."
"Even if they are, I highly doubt they'd blow their cover like that, Miss Suzumiya"
I turned around, how long has Koizumi been there?
"for a minute or two, I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come down here. You don't mind, do you?"
"I guess not..." Haruhi replied, her voice wisely cautious.
"Nightmares?" I asked.
"Yep"
"Huh"
"wait, you guys are having nightmares too?" Haruhi asked
so we weren't the only ones?
"No not at all! I've been having them too! But nobody said anything, so I thought it was just me..."
"Miss Asahina didn't wake you up or anything? I imagine she'd be awful frightened over these kind of dreams" Koizumi pointed out.
That's a good point, Miss Asahina would definitely wake up screaming if she's been having the same kind of nightmares we've been having.
But why were we having these dreams anyway? Maybe that thing really was telepathic... but that would mean... It's still here! But then again, we had nightmares before that dog showed up, so maybe it's this place?
"I wouldn't know, she bunked with Tsuruya! I bunk alone" she said, pronouncing Tsuruya's name with a venomous sneer.
Why has she been so anti-social lately? Since she got on that plane, she's mostly kept to herself.
"I take it that you two haven't made up over that incident on the plane?" I asked
"Nope! She can be a bitch, I don't need her!"
I don't think Tsuruya was being a bitch at all. Weird, yes, but not a bitch!
That whole incident was pretty much my fault, though. I hope it doesn't end up biting me in the ass.
Koizumi avoided the conversation completely and proposed a game of poker, he didn't seem to want to spur Haruhi's sudden distaste for Tsuruya. I couldn't really blame him though, I don't think I've ever seen Haruhi act this way towards anyone, and to be honest, it scared me. A game of poker just might be a good idea, maybe it would take our minds off what happened that day.
Although I was starting to get sick of poker at that point, I was also curious to see if I could beat Haruhi. She seemed to be good at anything she tried, but I couldn't recall playing any kind of game against her.
… I couldn't beat her, she cleaned me out completely every time! Poker is pretty much a game of luck, and this girl had it in abundance. I expected her to kick our asses at this anyway, but I hadn't won a single hand! I really wasn't used to having a formidable opponent, Koizumi has his brilliant moments here and there, sometimes employing a totally unexpected tactic in our routine chess games, but never once did I think there was no way I could win against him. Haruhi on the other hand, was unpredictable, lucky, and determined.
This was the point where I started to think Haruhi couldn't be one of them, if she was, then they'd probably use her powers to change the world immediately, that would make sense, right? But maybe they'd have no idea how to use them. Either way, the thought of those things hijacking Haruhi's powers still makes me shudder. Can you imagine a world where you couldn't even go outside for fear that you're front lawn would devour you as soon as you walked out the door, and you couldn't stay inside either because you think you're loved ones might kill you in your sleep? If that's not a catch twenty-two situation, I don't know what is.
Haruhi drew another card and broke the silence,
"Koizumi-kun, do you really think there's imitations walking around?"
Isn't that the question of the day? I really wished Nagato had never pointed out that possibility. Out of this whole experience, the paranoia really was the worst part. Had you ever had to think to yourself, 'is that guy next me, who I have known for over a year now, an inhuman monster?'
No? Well, Imagine asking yourself that every few minutes.
Koizumi did that annoying thing when he moves his finger back and forward from his face while he's thinking,
"Honestly, I think we're just jumping at shadows, but I wouldn't let my guard down, just to be safe"
he had a response specifically tailored to appease Haruhi like always.
I bet he's just trying to lure us into a false sense of security...
No! I can't start thinking like that or I'll end up rocking back and forth in a corner, talking to myself!
"I hope you're right, Koizumi-kun..."
I threw a hundred into the pot and said,
"I bet the local military would..." I trailed off, Haruhi and Koizumi's eyes lit up as they got the same idea.
"There's a radio somewhere right!" Koizumi asked as the three of us instantly dropped our cards and got up.
"Yeah! I think I saw a radio room earlier! Follow me!" Haruhi called, getting up and sprinting out of the room.
I don't think I've ever ran so hard, I was panting and leaning on the wall when got to the hallway outside that particular storage room. I could smell my own puke in that nearby barrel from earlier and
I'm not cleaning it up either, the less time I spend in this place the better. We stopped outside the door to the radio room, just a few feet down the hall was the kennel, what was left of it anyway.
There was a ton of noise coming from behind the door, the sound of things being smashed and tossed aside, who was in there, and what the hell were they doing?
Haruhi kicked down the door and ran inside, we followed her in to be met with the last person I'd ever expect to destroy our only hope.
"Yuki-chan! What the hell are you doing?"
Perhaps it was just the situation, or maybe it was the fact that Nagato was chopping up all the equipment with an ax, either way, The sight chilled my blood more so than the thing that ate Taniguchi.
All around the room was the sight of wrecked equipment, cut wires and an omen of what was to come.
"It was a necessity, I could not let it escape" Nagato said plainly, holding a red fire ax in her hand listlessly.
Koizumi's mouth hung wide open as he tried to stutter out a sentence, only managing to make shocked noises as he held his hand before him, clenching and un-clenching his fist.
"B-but, the, the, we, you, but-"
"-What the hell!" Haruhi screamed, pouncing on Nagato in an attempt to strangle her.
"Miss Suzumiya!" Koizumi cried as the two of us pulled her off the smaller girl.
"I am sorry, but it had to be done" Nagato replied from the floor.
"You idiot! Why?" Haruhi screamed, attracting the rest of the group from their bunks with her hysterics.
"If one of you were to contact local military, it would have a way to escape to the mainland, causing infection to spread immediately"
"But it's gone Yuki-chan! We killed it!" Haruhi cried, trying to break free from our grip to strangle the girl once more.
"I cannot allow the possibility"
"Oh my goodness! What happened here?" Miss Asakura asked, just walking in the room with the others.
"Lock her up! Lock her up right now!" Haruhi demanded, breaking out of our grip in a fit of rage.
"You can't be serious!" I replied, getting up off the floor and standing in between the two of them.
"I am your leader! And I will have you locked up as well if you don't do as I say!"
"That's where I draw the line!" I yelled, clenching my fist, I seriously would have hit her if Koizumi hadn't spoke up,
"Perhaps we should,"
WHAT? I'll kill you Koizumi!
"Just bear with me for a moment, we don't want to get violent with one another, for all we know, it could excite this thing and tempt it to attack, I apologize deeply, miss Nagato, but surely you will agree it's for the best"
"Now wait just a minute-" I cried out, only to be cut off,
"-I will go", Nagato said quietly.
"Your kidding, right?" I asked, turning to face her.
She stood there, looking deeply into my eyes, "It is in the best interest of all that I stay away from the group, inciting hysteria is not a good option"
Why is it that Nagato can word things so perfectly in a way for me to go against my morals?
I sighed deeply and replied, "All right then, if that's how it has to be... where can we take you?"
Haruhi quietly watched us, she said nothing, but her eyes screamed at us, calling us traitors and monsters. I think that hurt me more than anything she had ever done, I can handle the crazy plans or being coerced into doing things I really don't want to, but to know Haruhi of all people fears me... that was agonizing on a deep level that I barely even understand.
"There is a shed outside of the complex, it should be sufficient"
Koizumi, Nagato, Asakura and myself suited up in the hallway, Haruhi watching us carefully with a loaded shotgun. Dear Kami-sama... it's my worst nightmare come true!
"Take the flame thrower, Kyon, in case she's one of them" Haruhi ordered, her voice grave and foreboding.
"Alright" I said, sighing as I put the heavy thing on.
"B-but Miss Suzumiya! What if he's... one of them?" Kunikida asked, watching all of us suspiciously, his eyes moved from side to side nervously.
You rat bastard! I'd bet you're one of them!
"Mister Kunikida, don't say such horrible things!" Asakura said, trying to defend me.
"Shut your filthy mouth! Kyon can't be one of them! He just can't!" Haruhi cried out angrily, pointing the gun at him.
Everyone took a step back instantly, staying quiet.
"Now, now let's not be paranoid here, that would destroy us all faster than any monster could!" Koizumi said, showing his very rare trait of being the voice of reason.
"Just go, if your not back in ten minutes, I'm locking you out, you got that?" Haruhi said to us with a frightening kind of quiet authority.
With that, the four of us headed out into the cold, I kept the flame thrower pointed at Nagato to appease Haruhi, I wish I didn't have to do that.
Everyone watched us in silence as we headed towards the door.
The espers watched on expressionlessly as always, as Miss Asahina trembled with worry and Miss Tsuruya's eyes shone with a professional mix of patience and nervousness.
Haruhi and Kunikida shared a look of impatient fear masked with a stony expression as we opened the door and headed out. I'll never forget the various expressions Haruhi made during this trip for the rest of my life.
Outside was hellishly cold and dark, with only a few blue glowing torches off in the distance, guiding us towards the shed Nagato mentioned earlier. Wolf winds howled furiously and the wind clawed viciously at our faces, it really did feel like tiny razors were slashing at my face!
"I do believe we are out of Miss Suzumiya's sight now, you can put the flamethrower down, Kyon!" Koizumi shouted over the storm.
That's just what you'd want, isn't it Koizumi? For me to let my guard down out here in this wasteland. I considered turning my weapon on him, but I realized that if he tried anything, Nagato and Asakura would step in. This is getting bad, can I really trust Asakura of all people more than Koizumi?
I lowered my weapon but kept an eye on him as we continued to trudge through the knee high snow.
"Here." Nagato said, raising her voice just enough to be heard.
The three of us stood before a rundown looking shack that looked like it hadn't been used in years.
Koizumi opened the door and the three of us went in quickly to escape the cold.
"Are you sure your alright with this, Nagato?" I asked concernedly.
"Sub zero temperatures are of no worry for me. I am merely attempting to appease Suzumiya Haruhi by giving her an illusion of safety."
"I wish it hadn't come to this, whatever gave you the impression that it's still here?" Koizumi asked, closing the door behind us.
"I cannot be certain, but I have specific orders from the entity to quarantine this area, as does Asakura"
"It's true, I'm really sorry to both of you, but we can't let this thing spread" Ryoko added.
Koizumi scratched his chin thoughtfully,
"Miss Nagato, if this thing were to escape, how long would it take to spread and how far?"
"It would spread to the entire planet in three to four days"
"No way! That fast?" I blurted out in fear.
"Yes in fact... way"
Well... okay then.
I looked around the shed until I found an old gas engine manual and handed it to her,
"I know this isn't much, but it should keep you occupied for a while"
She took the small book and held it lightly to her chest, still looking at me with those deep brown eyes.
How can she look so emotionless and melancholy at the same time?
"...Thank you"
Ryoko decided to speak up as she looked out at the storm,
"You know, we should head back soon, I'd hate to have Miss Suzumiya anymore upset than she already is"
I second that, she's already got a loaded gun, what if she gets antsy and blows someone's head off? Dear Kami-sama, I hate this place!
"Miss Nagato, if I may ask, can you and Miss Asakura become infected like the others?" Koizumi asked.
"No, we are immune to all forms of biological contamination, even in our underpowered state, and there are other agents stationed nearby in case of an emergency"
"Well where the hell are they? Why didn't they jump in when Taniguchi was killed?" I asked angrily, whoa calm down, remember your karma, Kyon...
"I think they're having trouble finding us, the magnetic poles must be causing all kinds of interference with their programs... We'll be lucky if even one finds their way here"
Dear Kami-sama... we're fucked aren't we?
"I think we'd best be going now, wouldn't you say Kyon?" Koizumi asked, inching towards the door nervously.
"Yeah, let's go, come on Ryoko" I said as I opened the door. We said our good byes to Nagato, locked the shed up and trudged through the snow, back to the complex.
As we were walking, a thought occurred to me, and I shouted to Koizumi over the howling winds,
"Koizumi, is it just me, or is it a really bad idea to leave Haruhi alone... with the others... and a loaded gun..."
There was a loud series of bangs coming from the main building right after I said that. Dammit, me and my big mouth!
We booked it as fast as we could, but even today's events could not have prepare us for what fresh, frozen hell we were about to experience now.
(A/N: I'm still working on the next chapter, but suffice it to say, things are picking up, so tell me what you thought of this strange crossover if you'd be so kind)