As always: not mine.
Chapter title comes from Jonas David's 'Let Me Live' - he's over on bandcamp, check him out!
He's using that damn tone again, that quiet, beseeching one, like she has power over him and he couldn't just make her do it.
She hasn't dropped the glamor in a very long time – probably a month or so. It's strong and sturdy, of course, but putting it back up takes a lot of effort, and she's always careful about it because she can't let Maggie catch her.
The doors are locked. She's pretty certain she's safe.
Sensing her discomfort, Elijah starts to say: "If that seems too selfish of a request, then-"
"-No, no I was just...it's been two years since I've looked like myself with someone else in the room," she admits with a shaky laugh, then tucks her hair behind her ears and straightens up.
Elena closes her eyes.
It's not necessary, but the pressure on her eyes when they change back to brown is uncomfortable and closing her eyes means she doesn't have to see Elijah's reaction to what she knows to be a strange sight when she drops the glamor. The process itself feels like it takes forever, but when it's over, it's only been a few seconds.
"Remarkable," he breathes, stepping forward, his gaze skimming over her.
She knows she looks just a little bit older, nothing majorly noticeable but since she rarely sees herself, she's noticed the changes. She's sure he does, too.
"I guess you'll want to hear about this," she says, and gestures to her face. "And the whole magic thing."
"I would be lying if I said that it was not one of the pressing questions that I had for you," he responds, dryly. "Please," he prompts, and gestures towards two plump chairs before the fireplace.
Now seated and incredibly cozy in a crème wingback, Elena sets about the task of explaining the last two years of her life to Elijah, who makes no comment, but nods at times as he listens. She's been deliberating on telling him about the Petrova Fire, but decides that if there is anyone she could trust with the truth of it, aside from Bree and Lucy of course, it's him.
He stares at the fire for some time once she finishes, silently contemplating this new information.
"Perhaps this Fire works differently depending on the Doppelganger," he muses out loud. "Yours would be stronger than Katherine's, as you found a witch who was knowledgeable and able to assist you, but there were too many coincidences over the years, too many times she was able to survive, to evade us..."
He turns his head to look at her, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "It seems to reflect personality, if that's the case: Katherine finds ways to protect herself, at all costs, whereas you protect the ones you love, even with your life. Perhaps I was closer to the truth than I knew when I talked of your compassion in the letter."
She's never thought of it like that before.
"Should the girl come to harm, you would, too," he states, but she knows it's a question as well.
"It's not like that time Katherine had Lucy link the two of us so I felt any pain she felt, but yes, considering that I can't stop myself from trying to help her if she's in danger, I could get hurt in the process. It's like..it's like compulsion, I guess."
He considers this, considers her, and says finally: "This thing you have done, Elena, it's utterly selfless. Some would say foolish, but they would be wrong in that quick judgment."
Self-consciously, she shrugs, because his admiration is a weighty thing and she's not sure she deserves it. "I needed to do something."
"And now? Do you regret it?"
He's watching her carefully for her answer, because when Elijah speaks, there is always more than one meaning to his words. He never forces her to step up, never even asks her, but she finds herself trying to do the same.
"No," she says, knowing her heartbeat does not jump, or falter in any way as she meets his gaze (not from lying, anyway). "Not at all."
This seems to make him happy; he shifts to bring his hand to rest on his mouth and chin, but she sees the twitch at the corner of his mouth.
"And you? Where did you go?" she asks him, trying to change subjects as easily as possible.
"A number of places," he replies. "Rebekah told me of the second white oak tree, and Kol and I spent some time together, traveling. He's better now at controlling the hunger, he's a little more reserved. I hold hope that he will continue in that manner. We found the tree, and he believes that it is destroyed."
She tilts her head slightly, and there's something pleasantly thrilling about the fact that they can both read whole conversations in one another through the most subtle of movements, voluntary or otherwise.
"We were not meant to be gods, Elena, despite what my siblings think. Kol saw to it that the tree he believed to be the white oak was set aflame, and together we took the ashes and scattered them at sea. In truth, I'd already had the white oak moved to my estate in England and planted in the gardens there."
And there it is. One of his last remaining weaknesses, a great secret, and he's revealed it to her.
"I would regret ever having to use it, but knowing that it exists gives me some comfort – forgive me, you are shivering."
Elena hasn't even noticed that she was.
Elijah rises smoothly from his chair and tends to the fire, which was starting to die out.
"Here," she offers, standing and crossing the space between them. All it takes is a few uttered words, some focus, and the fire roars once more. She can't help the sheepish grin of pride, but when she finally glances in Elijah's direction, there is a conspiring smirk on his face.
"Quite the parlor trick, Elena."
She looks back down at the flames, aware he is watching her.
"I feared that you would hate me, for what I did to you, that you would be angry at the very least," he says quietly.
Alarmed, she turns to him. "Elijah, please stop apologizing; I know why you did it. I will admit to being a little upset about what happened at the time, but I had lied to you. Lying to you was...it was horrible - dishonorable. You didn't deserve what I had set in motion."
"You felt remorse almost instantly," he replies, and suddenly she is the one receiving forgiveness. "I saw that in you the very night of the ball. And yet I let emotions get the better of me, even as I knew you thought you were protecting your family by assisting my mother."
She shakes her head. "It doesn't ever seem to work out well when we're on opposite sides," she observes.
He makes a small noise of agreement. "Perhaps this time, if we work together, we will find some success."
"No secret plans," she swears, holding her hand up in a mockery of the Boy Scout's gesture.
"And no going back on my word," Elijah promises seriously, taking her hand in his to shake it. "Klaus is my brother, but the others are my siblings as well. I will feel relief once they are free of his damning influence; I take accountability for my actions over the centuries, but I hope to find less reasons to destroy and kill once he is gone."
He squeezes her hand, forcing her to make direct eye contact with him. "I will do all that I can to ensure that neither you nor the girl come to harm, Elena. I know you are willing, but your life is not one to be wasted. However," and at this he pauses, faltering for only a second in his promise, "should it come to that, I will try to keep your friends from being injured, and they will always be under my watch."
Elena feels her body sag slightly even as her eyelids shut and she feels tears starting to sting. "Thank you," she sighs, relieved. "Thank you for understanding."
They return, albeit slightly awkwardly, to their chairs, and continue their discussion a lighter note; concerts and college courses and other things are discussed. An hour passes by in what feels like an instant, and between Elijah's smooth voice and the cozy heat, she finds herself becoming lethargic, and it doesn't go unnoticed.
"I should leave," he says (but she thinks she hears regret?). "This has been a long day for you, and you need some rest.
"Ju-just once last question," she requests, alertness returning to her slightly. "I just...I worry that – I mean, I don't mean to pry, but..." she bites her lip for a moment. "Aren't you afraid Klaus will try to use you in the ceremony?"
Elijah's lips part, as if to answer her, but he stops and suddenly looks to the fireplace. "Klaus is aware I am not a candidate for the Resurrection." He sees the confusion on her face after a quick glance at her and continues. Even as tired as she is, she knows from the tone of his voice, there is more to his words. "I no longer love Tatia as I did once."
Before she can ask him what he means by that, he is standing and re-buttoning his suit jacket. There is an urgency to his actions. "Thank you, Elena, for both your time and your truthfulness."
He extends a hand to her, which she takes as she moves to stand as well. No sooner is she upright, then he is leaning over her hand and pressing a kiss to it.
"And thank you for allowing me to see you without the glamor."
She thinks she may be nodding, but her cheeks are suddenly flushed and his lips, she can feel them still on the skin on the back of her hand. The feeling lingers even as she ensures her glamor is back in place and she crawls into bed, all the while knowing it's a useless cause.
How is a girl supposed to go to sleep after that?