Goku stood at the phone waiting for the elevator music to end. If they wanted him to join so bad why would he be on hold for so long? He found himself a seat and waited patiently. Chichi looked at him in despair as she fried chicken and okra and fries. She couldn't understand why he didn't want his cooking anymore. This whole 'a boy from the future warned me of a heart attack if I don't start eating right' was the worst excuse she had ever heard.

….

"Bulma! Bulma!" Bulma rushed into her parents room. Her father was huddled up in the corner looking in horror as his cappuccino machine was in his bed broken in half. "It was the mob," he shouted in despair, "they are sending me a warning to stay away from the godfathers daughter I just know it! Call them and tell them I am already married!" Bulma rolled her eyes.

"Dad, it was Vegeta, telling you he does not want a cappuccino machine. It has a Starbucks logo on the side. He took it out and gave it to you and said 'if you put any more of your cappuccino machines in my gravity ship I am going to break it in half' remember?"

"Now why would he say such a thing, everyone likes cappuccino machines, everyone likes Starbucks, why wouldn't he like it?"

"Dad I was right there when you said it. You laughed at him and went back to work."

"BECAUSE HE WAS JOKING NOW CALL THE MOB AND TELL THEM TO STAY AWAY!"

"THE MOB IS NOT AFTER YOU!"

…

Vegeta walked in listening to Bulma and her father yelling at each other about the mob. They talked to the shadiest people. What was Dr. Briefs doing with the mobs daughter? He was married. "Oh, hello Vegeta," said Mrs. Briefs in her cheery voice, "want some lunch?"

"What are those two fools up there yelling about?"

"My husband thinks the mob thinks he is with there daughter. He just can't accept the fact that you don't like caffeine. How would you like some sushi for lunch I'm going to pick it up shortly."

"What the hell is sushi?"

"Raw fish, oh you are just going to LOVE it!" She ran out the door with her purse to go pick up the sushi. Just then Bulma came into the room eating a pop tart in one hand and a drum stick in the other.

"Why does your mother think I want raw fish? That sounds disgusting."

"It is actually pretty good."

"You are going to eat this raw fish?"

"No, Vegeta, I'm pregnant, I can't eat raw fish. Oh that reminds me I have a gynecologist appointment and you are taking me."

"Why would I do that?"

"BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT I AM PREGNANT!"
"WOMAN I AM NOT TAKING YOU ANYWHERE!"

….

Goku had the phone and speaker phone. He got up and started to dance to the waiting music. Suddenly he heard a click. He brightened up as he turned off the speaker phone and put it to his ear eagerly. "Please hold and we will direct your call to the next operator available." Goku bowed his head in defeat and banged his fist through the wall. Lies, it was all a lie! The next operator was never going to answer the phone. "No," he said to himself, "I am not going to give in. I will sign up for Jenny Craig. I can't let the answering machine win I have to stay alive to defeat the androids!"

Gohan walked up to his father with what was left of the fried chicken in his hand. He took a bite while listening to his father talk to himself. "You know, dad, you can always sign up online at-"

"Not now, son, I'm so close I can't miss this call."

"Okay but-"

"Hey how about you go train with Mr. Piccolo, don't let me slow you down, we have a lot to prepare for and not enough time really." His voice was calm and understanding. Gohan smiled and nodded. His dad was so inspiring sometimes.

…

Vegeta sat in the waiting room shoving sushi in his mouth. "Woman, why have I not been told of this sushi?"

"Because we didn't eat any until today," she said stuffing a burger king cheese burger in her mouth.

"I should have been told when I first got here you insolent peasant!"

"I hope you get shot in the ghetto someday for calling someone a peasant."

"Who are you to defy me, the prince of all saiyans!"

"I'M AN AMERICAN AND I WILL DEFY ANYONE I DAMN WELL CHOOSE TO!"

"AMERICA," shouted one of the pregnant women in the waiting room.

"Yea, you dick, America," yelled her husband.

"Go back to London you limey," yelled another patient. (I don't hate the british)

…

CLICK "Your call will be answered by the next available operator." I Will Survive started playing in a jazzy style with no words to it. But Goku didn't need any words. He put it on speaker phone again and used the phone as a microphone.
"First I was afraid

I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side

But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong

And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along"

As he busted into the chorus Gohan and Piccolo started dancing in the background.

"Oh no not i

I will survive

Oh as long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive

I got all my life to live

And I got all my love to give I will survive

I will survive

Oh no"

…..

"Ah you are the couple Son Chichi referred me to. Let's take a look at your soon to be bundle of joy. Now she tells me your situation is much like her own was?" Bulma just nodded and Vegeta stood in the corner brooding. "You are 3 weeks pregnant however it will appear you are 3 months pregnant. Your baby will grow at an accelerated rate. Which means you will be having that baby in 9 weeks and after that he or she will grow like normal but will learn to walk or crawl or talk quicker than most. Gohan was walking at 3 months old."

"Wait," said Vegeta, "what do you mean he or she? There is going to be no she. We will stuff him back in until he is done if need be!"

"Sir, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that," said the doctor.

"I don't care how you think it works"

"Vegeta I think she is pretty qualified to do her job," snapped Bulma, "now shut up. If it is a girl it's your own fault."

"Now, now, gender isn't anyones fault its just your own blessing-"
"Shut up woman, you will not speak to me in that manner," said Vegeta interrupting the doctor.

"Vegeta nobody asked you to give an opinion."

"Woman if you don't stop speaking to me like that-"

"You'll what? I'll tell you what I'm going to do if you don't stop talking. I'm going to starve you, launch your gravity ship without you in it, and kick you out of the house to sleep outside!"

"You're empty threats mean nothing to me-"

"Why do you hate me," asked Bulma in tears.

"Unbelievable. I'm willing to bet Kakarot never had to deal with this with his harpy woman," he mumbled to himself.

"If Chichi is so wonderful then go live with them!"

"No!"

"Will you stop fighting," cut in the doctor. Bulma stopped crying and suddenly became angry.

"We are NOT FIGHTING! We are having a conversation so butt out!"

"The nerve of some people, interrupting conversation, is that a custom on this planet? To be rude to your patients? Woman we are finding you a new doctor."

"No, Vegeta, she has helped through a saiyan pregnancy and birth we are sticking with her-"

"Okay, lets have a look at the little baby," said the doctor. She put the cream on Bulma and turned on the screen. "Well, Mr. Vegeta, you are in luck, we are looking at a little boy."

"Oh, Vegeta, look at him!" Bulma was on the verge of tears of joy. Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Of course it's a boy, it's my child." He pulled out his phone and started typing furiously on the keys.

"What are you doing," asked Bulma.

"I'm putting this on my facebook, twitter, and myspace so my peeps will know. I'm taking a picture of this screen and I am going to post it."

"That won't be necessary," said the doctor, "I am sending you home with pictures of the sonogram." Vegeta took the pictures ignoring the doctor and posted them.

"Oh hey, my farm app says I am ready to harvest my carrots."

"What," asked Bulma again.

"I have 6 different apps on my phone, 12 on facebook, and 9 on myspace. Hey, why aren't you my myspace or facebook friend woman!"

"Because you never sent me an invite. I asked you when you first moved in and you denied me, remember?"

"That was before you where having my child and I also need peeps that will send me things on my apps when I need them. Kakarot has been falling on the job and so has that Mr. Popo fool and your idiot ex deleted my from facebook and myspace and stopped following me on twitter. As much as I hate him he was always there when I needed something for my apps."

"Fine just request me again-"

"Excuse me, I have other patience that have appointments," said the doctor.

"Just a second," said Bulma pulling out her phone, "let me do this really quick. I just need to approve him and accept him as my friend on all of my apps."

"Yea, well, your cloths are here on the table and here is your paper work to schedule your next appointment."

…..

Yamcha growled in frustration. He needed that shovel on his app but Vegeta was the only one who actually sent stuff to him when he needed it. No, that guy stole his girlfriend, he wasn't going to go back and ask him to be friends again.

…

Next time:

Will Goku stick to Jenny Craig? Vegeta can't get his training done. Trunks is back! But why?

….

Goku couldn't put down the phone but he just had to pee so bad. He had to go for the last 5 minutes. He could have peed and been back by now. He finally put the phone down on the table and ran for the bathroom.

CLICK "Hello, Jenny Craig, my name is Melissa how can I help you? Hello? Hellooo? Oh well."

Goku quickly ran back to the phone and picked it up. Beep beep beep beeeeep. They hung up on him. He drop the phone on the line and once again bowed his head. He had failed. He missed the call because he had to go to the bathroom so bad. Gohan couldn't watch this anymore.

He brought his laptop to his dad and showed him the website. "Dad, I have already put in your information, all you have to do is put in your credit card number."

"I-I'm sorry Gohan. I have failed. I missed the call."

"But dad I have already signed you up just finished with your card." Goku put his hand on his sons head and smiled at him.

"I admire your persistence son but there is nothing I can do anymore. I just have to find another way to learn how to eat healthy."

"There is a free gym membership for a limited time only."

"Okay, Gohan, I'll do it to entertain you." Goku put in his card number and pushed send. On the screen it said WE WILL BE SENDING YOUR FIRST WEEK OF MEALS ON MONDAY ALONG WITH YOUR FREE MEMBERSHIP TO THE GYM OF YOUR CHOICE. "Alright lets go train," he said. With Goku's head back in the game he was ready to start preparing.

…

Next time:

Can Goku go through with the Jenny Craig plan?