AN: Hey! If there's anyone left out there I'm back! Lol! I told you guys I was probably finished with this but I decided I would try again, I can't promise it will be any better :p but I'm finished with almost all my testing, now I just have math and my other math EOI. I have to take too, that's my punishment for taking honors. Lol oh, and the story, I had a thought come to me today, and I decided, heck why not. Lol If you haven't seen or read the Hunger Games, you're missing out! I went to see it the day it came out, OMG they portrayed their characters amazingly! Although I did think that the cave scene was a bit lacking lol. But it really gets on my nerves how people saw the movie first then went nuts over the book, that's just backwards! It shouldn't be like that. I read the books back in October over three days-didn't know the movie was even being made- told all my friends about them and loved them, they all said that it sounded weird and didn't want to read them, now they won't shut up, lol sorry 'bout the rant! Here's the story!
I leaned my head against the door and slid down it, I don't know why I was feeling the way I was, I just knew I wanted it to stop. The only thing that could do that was on the other side of the door, but I was way to stubborn to open the door and tell him that. I needed him to think I was mad at him that I didn't want to see him, that this "relationship" was going absolutely nowhere. That way he would leave and I wouldn't have to feel this way. If he would just leave and get out of my sight! It would make everything better, but no matter how much I tell myself this, I just can't seem to believe. I know that if he leaves I'm screwed, I'll still see him everywhere no matter what. He's famous for crying out loud! He'll be all over TV. I think I just need to talk to him, and maybe give him a chance to explain. I mean, maybe he actually does have a legitimate reason for kissing her. Oh who am I kidding, he's playing me. All guys are jerks and I refuse to think any different. But he has been so sweet and never gave me any other reason to believe that he has bad intentions.
Ok, I seriously need to stop having arguments in my head. It can't be healthy. I think once I sleep over this, get a fresh start then I'll know what to do. A fresh brain is best, right? Maybe I'm just over thinking this, but it's hard to trust someone that says something and does another. Actions speak louder than words, and really that's true. I always thought it was just something adults say to make you act better but now that I think about it, it really does have way more meaning than that.
I just wish that he would get out of my mind, I don't want to admit it but I can't stop thinking about him. The way his sea-green eyes looked at me with a tidal wave of sadness. The way they had glistened in the sunlight. His raven-black unruly hair whipped in the wind. Why can't I stop thinking about him? Every time I think about never seeing him again or not being held in his arms when we're laughing makes this odd constricting feeling in my chest and I don't like it. I don't want to be like this forever I want to be able to be happy, like how I was when I was with him. Honestly, I'm scared. Giving out my heart is terrifying, hearts break and it hurts. I don't want that to happen again. It was horrible with Luke, but I think the worst part with him was that he had been my best friend since we were little and he betrayed me. I'm scared Percy is going to come to his senses and realize I'm not worth it. I don't have tons of money, I freak out around cameras, and I'm most defiantly not famous. He is, he sings, he acts and he has a natural light that draws everyone in. I'm not like that, I have a light that repels most people, they don't get my smart remarks that they don't get because they haven't read or been as educated as I have been, my mother is terrifyingly smart and I didn't want to be left behind so I studied as hard as possible, practically memorizing the whole dang text book! But from all the reading I have done, and yes I have read romance books, and they all describe this feeling.
They call it love; I have been in love once. Didn't turn out like all the books, most things don't. Books are fantasies, they don't come true and guys most certainly are not like they are in the books. I wish they were, oh how I wish they were! Never have to worry about them breaking our hearts because they are so in love with us they can't be away from us-yeah right!- half the time they can't wait to go out with their friends!
It's time for bed now, and I'm about to die from exhaustion, but I think after all the thinking all this over, I decided it couldn't hurt to go see him tomorrow.
I woke up at 6:00 A.M. like I always do, just cause I'm on 'vacation' doesn't mean that I should let my sleep go to waste. My parents live down here-well my dad- my mom is dead. She has been for a while, so it doesn't really make me that upset anymore. Yeah, I miss her but I spent years mourning her, and she wouldn't want me to be sad. What mother wants their child to be depressed their whole life? The breakfast in the hotel starts and 7:00 so I get an hour to shower and get ready.
After I got out of the shower I got dressed in a pair of Miss Me skinny jeans (AN: always wanted some! :D) red chucks, and a tank top with the back in slits that says Break the Rules and a neon red tank top under that. I had to admit that I looked pretty dang hot! My blonde hair in perfect curls that are natural and my startling gray eyes shone brighter than ever. So maybe I was dressing up a bit more than usually for Percy, who cares.
I went downstairs subtly looking for Percy, but I couldn't find him anywhere! I guess he probably doesn't get up this early. So I got breakfast; a banana, yogurt and orange juice. I just really don't like breakfast foods! As I was waiting for the elevator to come down to pick me up the doors dinged. I turned around to be met with extremely messy black hair, and piercing green eyes…
AN: Ahhh! That is officially the longest one yet! Haha I hoped you guys liked it, especially for the longest wait ever! Sorry 'bout that! I don't know when I will be able to post but please don't give up on me if you haven't already! I just want to say thank you to everyone who stuck around!