My Big Fat Ubekian Wedding

(Part 1: The Aria)

He stood in the bedroom, looking at himself in the mirror critically. Far too critically for his liking, but hey, he was stuck here, bored, and had nothing else to do. Might as well give himself a once over, and maybe see what girls thought the big fuss about stupid wedding dresses were about. His long blonde hair (due part to the wig) was down and flawless, bangs professionally done around his face. He had no idea how Professor Triple Extra Large knew how to style hair –fake hair at that– but he figured there were things he was much, much better off not knowing.

The frilly dress itself was fitted and expensive as crud, making him look even stupider and more sissier than he was when his so called 'friends' forced him to put the dress on. The undershirt the adults made him wear to give him a more feminine appearance was barely noticeable, but it too was expensive and well-tailored. And it itched like crazy. For the third time of the hour, Wally's hand strayed down towards his hindquarters to give it a good scratch.

But of course, like every other time he tried to relieve the sensation…

SMACK

"Ow!" Wally whined as his palm was slapped away. He looked away from the mirror to angrily gaze up at his mutant adult groomer. "C'mon! It's startin' ta chafe down there!"

The Professor could only shake his head disapprovingly. "Tsk tsk tsk. I've told you, it's not proper for a Princess to act in such a grotesque manner. Trust me, I know from experience," the insane man chuckled. "But enough about my college days, let's see what we can do about this hairdo," he hummed to himself as he procured his comb. "Honestly, so many split ends. What did you children make this wig out of? A random mop you found lying around?"

Wally's eyes shifted. "Maybe…"

On the other end of the room, Mr. Boss himself was doing his best to make himself look presentable and trying his darnedest to block out the blond kid's frustratingly grating whining and moaning. Despite how unhinged the Professor claimed to be, he didn't trust Numbuh 4 to just stand there and go along with the wedding, even when faced with possible capital punishment. To insure nothing would go awry, he opted to keep a vigil over the wild-boy personally. As long as he was present, the operative wouldn't dare try anything.

The platoon of elite ice cream men paroling every inch just right outside every possible escape point didn't hurt, either.

"Where is that stupid tie?" Mr. Boss grumbled as he fumbled around inside his travel pack. He didn't know why his wife insisted on packing his things for him. He forgets his medication one time, and suddenly she's controlling everything because she thinks he'll get a heart-attack.

Suddenly, he paused, pulling out a brown lunch bag with a heart-shaped note attached. "What the–she packed me a lunch? How old does she think I am? Six?" he grumbled. Curiosity getting the better of him, he started digging around the bag, his face lighting up as he went through the bag's contents. "Oh, cookies!"

"Boss?"

"Ah!" he gasped, jerking up his head to glare at the guard poking his head out the door. "What is it?"

The ice cream man flinched at Mr. Boss' tone, but continued, nevertheless. "Uh, these Ubekians are wondering if the, er, 'Princess'," he said with matching finger quotes, "is ready."

"Tell 'em we're almost done. Now let me get ready!" he growled, scaring off the guard. He finally found his tie, and went to clipping it on. "Hey Doc, is the brat ready to go or what?"

"First of all, it is Professor," Tripe Extra Large haughty corrected. "I did not go to college to be called 'Doctor'. That's just insulting."

Mr. Boss gave a shrewd stare. "Your resume says you got kicked out of college."

"No, I dropped out of college. They let me in, I saw myself out. There's a difference."

"Whatever! Look, is he ready to pull this sham off?" Mr. Boss raged.

"Oh, we should be done any moment now. Just a few finishing touches, and I need to tighten up the dress in the back," the Professor happily replied as he reached for a pair of strings hanging off the stems. Wally, who was contemplating just jumping out the window, felt the air rush out of his lungs as Triple Extra Large heaved on the strings.

"Excellent," Mr. Boss grinned. His hand reached into the pockets of his suit, and he pulled out decent sized parchment of paper. At the top, embroiled in fancy print, was the title of the marriage contact he worked out between the Tipuan and Kola'ta families. After buying out a few lawyers, and locking Prince Yul'sha in his room, he had made sure that he was the only one who knew the full weight of the fine print of the contract.

It was simply business; business he had mastered down to a science.

"This day is goin' to be perfect," he mused to himself as he kissed the contract. "The kind of day I've had coming far too long."

"All those snobs will gather round." He chuckled as he sneered at Wally, amusement evident in his tone, "While you look pretty in that gown."

The blond only made a guttural sound in response.

Mr. Boss leaned down to peer at the window, smirking as he watched all of the Tipaun family enter the main hall to celebrate the wedding festivities. "Just keep up the act, and nothing can go wrong."

"Uk'ku nil!" a Ubekian door-guard greeted cheerfully as another guest made their way inside the compound. He shuffled a bit, hoping to get some body heat flowing, and went back to staring blandly ahead as he managed the patrons flowing inside for the wedding. It was an exciting time for the families right now, and he had been instructed to take every precaution and make sure everything went smoothly.

As he thought on the evening's events, he nearly broke his stoney facade as his mind wandered to the guards he had ended up replacing. The last two doormen had let an imposter slip in right under their noses. What was worse, it had turned out to be two children disguised as a noblemen. How disgraceful it must have been for them, to know they had been fooled by mere children. The thought almost made him keel over laughing. Luckily, the foreign guards the western businessman had brought along had assured them the situation had been dealt with.

Now with the children thrown out, their princess returned, and the rebellious Prince Yul'sha under heavy watch, nothing would ruin this day.

The guard was snapped out of his thoughts when an odd looking noblewoman came waddling up the steps. Her arms shook as she seemed to be having trouble keeping balance, but she managed to regain her posture, and continued an awkward trek straight towards the door. Several things the guard noticed were the woman's face looked incredibly young; almost that of a child's. The other odd quirk he spotted, besides her clumsy footsteps, was that her slim torso stretched out into oddly wide hips. If he didn't know any better, he would wager there was something else under those robes.

"Muli!" he guard said as he stopped the woman. She flinched, but managed to face him. He frowned, his eyes sparkling with suspicion. "Cal'ho johl?"

"Er, uk! No-sa lumi ju'kin," the woman nervously chuckled. Her hands fumbled around her robe, looking frantic when she couldn't find something she was searching for. For some reason, the guard blinked, missing a lighting fast movement coming from underneath the woman's robe. When he opened his eyes, the woman was smiling cheekily as she passed him a card. "Inko nu'lu ja'gini, nid?"

The guard took the card. As he inspected it, he nodded as he recognized it as a formal invitation to the wedding. He bowed as he stepped aside to allow the noblewoman entry. "Uk'ku nil."

The woman nodded, then made her way inside. The guard turned back to his post, and let his mind wander. Once again, it ventured back towards those two other guards. It was just too hilarious. What kind of idiot would be fooled by a couple of children wearing some tacky noble robe? They were letting any old schmuck into the ranks of the royal guard these days.

Once inside, the "woman" sighed a breath of relief as a head poked out from under the robe. Hoagie shook his head as he looked up to his comrade. "I can't believe they fell for that. Twice even!"

"Keep moving towards the main hall," Numbuh 4-Below instructed. Hoagie's head disappeared behind the robe, and the two were on their way again. The girl's heart was pounding; never before had she been on mission where so much hung in the balance. "I hope your leader knows what he is doing."

"Don't worry," Hoagie whispered, "Numbuh 1 always knows what he's doing."

Nigel had to admit that he had no idea what he was doing as he, Abby, and Kuki dropped down over the wall. The three moved with precision as they rolled behind a set of bushes, avoiding a group of guards walking by. Taking their chance, they made a mad dash towards the backdoor of the nearest building, and filtered inside before anyone could even catch their shadows.

As the girls barricaded the door, Nigel hugged the wall as he peaked around the corner. After a quick sweep, he motioned for the girls once he noticed the hall was clear. As the made it towards the end of corridor, the boy was shocked to find the exit had been locked off. His frustration boiling over, he gave the frame a solid kick.

"This day was going to be perfect," he snipped sarcastically, his head lowering in shame. "The kind of day that we've wanted for far too long." His fist clenched as he thought of Mr. Boss' smug visage taunting him. "But now we'll lose to that snake…"

Abby patted Nigel's shoulder, directing him towards the window to their left. "C'mon boss, or we'll be late."

Kuki watched as the two forced the window open and hopped back outside into the cold. The small girl thought back on the mission so far, and let out a tired sigh as she followed their lead. "It's hard to think how everything has just gone wrong."

"I'm not sure he can pull off this outfit," the Professor gave his opinion as he gave Wally one final look. His expression was far from pleased with his handiwork. "Should have gone with a summer."

Mr. Boss lit another one his cigars, sparing Triple Extra Large an eye-roll. "I could less about the dress."

"And what about the cake?" the Professor asked, bringing up the topic of sweets. "The cater just vanished into thin air for some odd reason. It may not get here in time for the reception."

Mr. Boss face-palmed. "We won't partake in any cake!"

"I don't even get cake?" Wally spoke up. "You guys are horrible!"

Professor Triple Extra Large groaned as he crossed his arms. He can't believe he expected Mr. Boss to follow Ubekian traditions. "Well then, what about the vows?"

"Vows?" Mr. Boss mused. After a quick moment, he jotted something down on a patch of paper, then handed it to the Professor. "Just make sure they buy it when he says:"

The Professor was in the middle of proofreading the hastily written lines when Wally suddenly snatched them out of his hand. The mildly miffed blond decided to read them out loud himself. He was the one who had to say them after all.

"'No matter what, through thick and thin, I'll stick with him until the end?" Wally read aloud with disgust. "Gross! This is girly and sappy."

Agitated, Mr. Boss jerked the boy up by the collar of his dress. "The truth is I don't care what you think at all!" He then dropped him, spitting out commands as the blond picked himself up. "You will play the role as bride. This time I won't be denied!"

He turned towards the mirror to look over his suit. At the thought of his oncoming victory at gaining the Tipuan trading empire, Mr. Boss allowed himself to crackle gleefully. "And then all that ice cream will be all mine!"

Wally dusted himself off as the Professor rushed up to tidy up his wedding dress. "Geez, what a nut-job! Why does it sound like he's singing?"

Triple Extra Large shrugged. "We villains do that from time to time."

Over in the main hall, both teams had finally made it inside. On the lower floor, Hoagie and Numbuh 4-Below were trying to push past all the guests to get to the alter-chamber. The chubby boy had to carefully plot his steps. One wrong move, and their disguise would be blown. 4-Below herself had to double as being his eyes, and making sure some of the more rowdy patrons did end up knocking her over.

The girl grit her teeth as they maneuvered through the crowd, hating at how long it was taking to move past all these people. Timing was everything for this operation, and they were seriously risking the possibility of failing to meet their window of opportunity. "We must get in place before it's too late."

Above them, a royal guard was sent flying backwards into a broom closet. Before he even knew what was going on, Nigel and Abby slammed the door in face, locking him inside.

As they worked on making sure the guard couldn't escape, Kuki paced back and forth as she let her worried thoughts and fears consume her. "What if we can't save the day?"

"Numbuh 3, trust me when I say," Nigel moved towards the girl in an effort to bury her anxiety and give her hope. "We're not about to lose him, to an adult who wants to use him. For crimes, Mr. Boss is gonna pay."

Kuki sniffled, but nodded. Nigel returned the gesture, and the three broke off into a sprint to the stairwell. "For we must save the fake bride. This wedding we can't let slide."

"We better hurry," Abby cut in as they all took a leap. The three landed on the stair railings, and went into a downwards, circular grind as they sped towards the bottom. "To save the sport's behind!"

As they neared the bottom, they noticed a guard rail for a balcony about a floor up. They also noticed a group of ice cream men mingling on the floor below them right as they exited the stairs. Fortunately, for once, their backs were facing them. Abby peered up to see the hanging chandelier, and acted quickly. She whipped out a grappling hook poised as a hair-dryer, and aimed it to hook on the hanging crystals of the ornament.

Nigel and Kuki grabbed on to the girl, and as they hopped off the stair-railing, they broke into an upwards swing towards the balcony. At the height of their arch, Abby pulled in the grappling hook, and the children landed into a roll as they hit the deck. Kuki and Abby continued forward, while Nigel looked down to make sure the guards hadn't noticed their aerial display.

Outside the entire compound itself, there was another commotion going on unknown to everyone occupied with the wedding frenzy.

Near the back of Sector V's RV, the trunk door was jiggling with a surprising amount of force. After a couple of seconds, there was a faint clicking noise. All motion stopped for a bit, then continued ten-fold. There was a series of well-place kicks coming from the inside, and after the forth blow, the trunk door popped open, a small body flying out.

"Gah! Oooh, sweet merciful freedom!" Numbuh Infinity cried as he hit the ground. He was so happy, he let notions of kissing the ground cross his mind. In fact, he almost did. But then he was suddenly reminded of why he was stuck in the trunk in the first place.

"Why those no good, backstabbing, DOO-DOO BRAINS!" Infinity screeched to the heavens. His face was contorted with unadulterated rage and contempt. He was just so angry! "Arrgh! I feel like I want to punch something!"

"Uhh, uki nop pul'su?" came the muffled reply from inside the trunk. The half-naked Ubekian official the others had knocked out had finally started to come around. He had lots of questions on his mind. Who had done this to him? What happened? When did it happen? Where were his robes? Why in the name of all that was holy was he in nothing but his underwear? Sadly, the only answer to any of these inquires the poor man would get was Numbuh Infinity's fist.

"Wow! I see why Numbuh 4 enjoys this so much!" Infinity breathed as he let the adrenaline wash over him. It reminded him of his days as a field operative. Oh, things were soo much more fun back then. Back then, all matters involving diplomacy were solved with fists, and big cool laser guns.

As his nostalgia began to wear off, Infinity became highly aware that he had just knocked out the official. Eyes shifting, the boy pushed the adult back into the trunk, slowly closed the lid, and followed it all up by locking it.

With that taken care of, he sighed as he reached for his bow-tie. The normally red, sharp edged piece of clothing transformed at his touch. It folded, expanded, then folded some more until it was in the shape of some odd communication device. Gathering his wits, he pressed into the device, then held it to his ear.

"It's me," he began. He suddenly frowned. "Samuel Jackson–WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?" he roared, clearly not in the mood for this. "Look, a lot has happened…then pause it, this is tad more important than your video games, 74.239!" He was surrounded by idiots.

Surrounded.

"It's been a disaster, quite frankly…yes, my evaluation is done," Infinity's face softened, returning to its stoic facade. "Things went further out of control than projected, but he's made his stance clear. When it comes down to it, Numbuh 1 will still put his teammates above the mission priority…no, genius, that's far from what we wanted…no. No, I'm not writing this off as a complete loss just yet."

Infinity waited for the boy on the line to speak his piece before continuing. "That won't be necessary. Look, while I was locked in the trunk, I–no, I'm not explaining that; it's not important– I had an idea. Re-access the profiles. We're not just evaluating Numbuh 1 anymore, we're evaluating all of Sector V," Infinity ordered with conviction, his eyes sprinkling with hidden motive.

"I'll explain later. Look, I have to try and find some way to salvage Ubekian relations here…Why? Because written projections show that a loss of support would be disastrous. You should know, you wrote them!" he groaned, just about to hang up.

"I've got to go. The wedding is about to start and–security leak? What security leak?" Infinity paused mid-step, his eyes somewhat wide. "What was lost…who is they?…what kind of name is Flatline–look, just fix it!…No, I honestly don't care who it got leaked to! Just find them, scramble their brains, and FIX IT!" Without another word, he hung up. But right when he was about to take a step, his communicator buzzed.

"For the love of-what is it? I'm in the middle of something, so this had better be–mommy?" Infinity stared down at the communicator in pure shock. "How on Earth did you get this num–" he paused, remembering the 'security leak' he was just informed about.

"Ah, hold that thought, mommy–Yes, I love you too, just gimme a second." He redialed a number, hoping 74.239 would pick up. "Come on…yes! It's me! Belay that last order; do not scramble my mother's brains. I repeat, do not scramble my mother's brains!"

Mr. Boss walked down the corridor with utmost pride. Behind him was Professor Triple Extra Large, donning his High Priest robes in order to effectively carry out his duties. And in between them Wally, who was fuming while looking as fabulous as a boy dressed up as a princess bride could be. One might ask why he wasn't bailing and trying to escape. If any did ask, he would simply point them to the several dozen ice cream men flanking him and escorting the small party down the hall.

The blond wanted to hold out hope his friends were up to something. Anything that meant he didn't have to go through with this. He trusted Nigel, he really did. But being this close to being married off against his will was kind of deterring his thought process.

"Finally, the moment has arrived," Mr. Boss chuckled as he mockingly pinched the boy's cheeks. "For you to be one lucky 'bride'." Wally attempted to bite the man's finger, but raising three children–one of which whom happened to be Numbuh 86–had done wonders for Mr. Boss' reflexes.

In the alter-chamber itself, Nigel, Kuki, and Abby stepped out from behind the balcony curtains to get a good feel for the area. They had expected a few people to be wandering around; just some designers who were putting finishing touches on everything.

They were a little more than mildly shocked to find that that wasn't the case. Instead of just a few people, hundreds of guests and officials had already flocked into the room. There was a mild chatter going on through the air, and it looked as if everyone had already found their seats.

Nigel frantically studied the rows and rows of wedding guests. "Oh it's started, are we late?"

Kuki's eyes watered. "They will seal poor Wally's fate!"

Abby slammed a fist down. "And all that ice cream will be–"

"-Mine. All mine, heh heh heh," Mr. Boss chortled to himself as he and his entourage entered the chamber. The appearance of him and the "princess" was cue for all in attending to take their seats. As they waltzed down the aisle, some more respectful members of the crowd gave slight bows to Wally's presence. Not that it gave him much comfort.

They finally stopped at the end of the aisle, standing on the left side of a wooden podium that stood smack dab in the center line of the entire chamber. Mr. Boss took up a stance at his side, sending warning glances his way every now and then. He would lock his eyes with Wally's, then flick over to the group of ice cream men all taking seats along the front rows. Wally frowned in protest, but made no sudden movements. The moment Professor Triple Extra Large took his place at the podium, he eventually began tuning out the whole affair. He would give anything to have this day turn out to be nothing more than some horrible nightmare.

As the last few guests took their seats, one late entry finally made her way into the room. The disguised Numbuh 4-Below carefully directed Hoagie through the main chamber. She hissed when she noticed everyone had already been seated. If they did not find a secluded seat now, they would eventually draw some unwanted attention.

"Exsu'ikl, pardo'nou," she apologized as she maneuvered them through a stuffed row. They had to push through a lot of folks, but that corner at the end looked absolutely perfect for what they had to pull off. "Exsu'ikl, exsu–UAG NIK!" she snapped at a random man who made a rude gesture. Ignoring the idiot, the girl carefully directed Hoagie's footsteps until they finally came to an empty seat.

"Okay, here is fine," she whispered. Her foothold suddenly disappeared, and she found her body plopping down onto the cushioned bench. She straightened her robe around her quickly as Hoagie moved under her, and soon enough, a plump body had sat itself secretly next to her.

"Finally," Hoagie breathed as he massaged his shoulders. "Man, those boots were murder on my neck."

"Quiet!" 4-Below hushed as she clamped her hand over the boy's flapper. She carefully scanned the people around her, then looked back to Hoagie. "This is the most obscured position I could find, but that does not mean you can sit there and run your mouth."

"Keep it on the hush-hush. Got it," Hoagie sourly nodded as the girl pulled her hand away. He buried himself deeper into his seat, not wanting to risk anyone spotting him. He looked towards the front of the alter, only to have his eyes widen in shock at the sight of his best pal on stage in a wedding gown. "Oh no, it's already started. Mr. Boss has him up there on center stage!"

"Calm yourself," 4-Below pacified, "the wedding has not begun. The bridal party are simply taking positions. The formal events do not officially start until the groom party arrives at the alter."

Hoagie visibly relaxed. "Whew, then we're not too late." Doubling checking to make absolutely sure no one was looking, he pulled out his 2x4 communicator and began signaling for Nigel and his team. "Keep me updated, I'm letting Numbuh 1 know we're ready to go."

"Oh no no," Kuki fretted as she paced back and forth, leaving a slightly visible rut in the floor. "What are we gonna do now? Wally's gonna get married, we won't get any more ice cream from Ubeki-stan-smith-stan or whatever, and worst of all, I'm not invited to the reception!"

"Uh, jus' chill out Numbuh 3," Abby hesitantly replied. "We'll think of something."

Kuki looked up to the girl with watery eyes, a slight hiccup in her voice. "W-We will?

"Course we will!" Abby smiled, her eyes flicking over to Nigel for some support. "Right, boss?"

"Where is Numbuh 2?" Nigel mumbled to himself, paying no attention to the girls' dramatics. His fingers drummed against the railing of the balcony, scanning the audience for his teammates. But there were too many people to instantly pick up anyone specific. That, and the fact that he was wearing sunglasses in a dimly lit indoor area wasn't helping at all. He really needed to stop doing that. "We should have heard from him and Numbuh 4-Below–"

"This Shadow Fox reporting in. Come in Flying Eagles."

"Speak of the devil." As quick as he could, Nigel reached for his on communicator to answer the call. "Drop the team codenames, Numbuh 2. We don't have the time. What's your status?"

Silence.

"I said, status report."

More silence.

"…Numbuh 2, now is not the–"

"I spent five minutes coming up with those names!"

"And we'll waste five more minutes that could be used to extract Numbuh 4 by arguing about this again! Now give me a status report!"

"You know, just because our best friend is about to be married at the diplomatic equivalent of a shotgun wedding doesn't mean you have to be such a killjoy!"

"Numbuh 4-Below, a little help here?" Nigel requested. He then gave a smug grin when he registered the sound of a muffled smacking noise over the line. "Now, about that status report."

"Uh huh," Hoagie grumpily replied. "We're a tad behind schedule, but we've made it into the alter-chamber. No one seems to notice, or even care, that we're here."

"What about the wedding? Numbuh 4's at the alter with Mr. Boss and the Professor. How underway is it?"

"According to Numbuh 4-Below, nothing's really started yet. Things don't get rolling until the groom-to-be shows up. I guess they do things a little reversed opposed to how we're used to."

"Then we're not too late," Nigel sighed in relief. It was way too early in the plan to label that as a success, but it was a very good start opposed to how everything else had been lately. "The game plan is still on. Tell Numbuh 4-Below to keep you updated on the wedding and report any necessary information back to me. Me and the girls are moving into position. Good luck."

"Don't forget to take some good snapshots!"

Nigel clicked off the comm-link and turned back to his teammates. "Okay, team, we've still got our window open. Time to get started."

"Yay!" Kuki cheered, jumping to her feet and doing a complete one-eighty from her depressed and dejected slump. She cracked her knuckles, and began smirking with wicked glee. "Let's do this."

If Nigel was at all perturbed by the girl's sudden spark of enthusiasm, he did an excellent job of not letting it show. "We all know what the plan is?"

Abby nodded. "Numbuh 2 and 4-Below are gonna keep us updated on the wedding and stall as long as they can. While they're doing dat, me and Numbuh 3 are gonna sneak into the bridal chamber and try and replace two bridesmaids."

"Correct. Once you've replaced them, just wait until you can get close enough to Numbuh 4 to grab him." He then reached into his pocket, and pulled out a smoke-bomb the size of a baseball. "I'll be working my way around here to find to perfect spot to cause a diversion. Once this thing goes off, you grab Numbuh 4, and we all get the heck out of here."

Abby had a hard time repressing her oncoming smirk. "Simple and crude don't sound like your style, boss."

"We lost the luxury of being subtle when the princess got stuck in a coma," Nigel muttered as he stowed away the smoke-bomb. "Infinity and I passed the bridal-chamber earlier; it's down the stairs, through the hall and the sixth door on the left. Now, we're kind of exposed out on this balcony, so I'd like to do this sometime today. Anymore questions?"

Kuki exuberantly waved her hand around. "Can I keep the bridesmaid dress?"

"Just go," Nigel groaned. Deciding to spare her leader some torture, Abby pulled a curious Kuki away so they all could get started with their hastily slapped together operation. The bald boy glanced over his shoulder, once again analyzing the ground floor. His eyes softened as they traveled to Wally, but then hardened once they landed on Mr. Boss.

Down below, the villain in the expensive suit himself grumbled aloud as he waited for the show to get a move on. Honestly, the brat was here, the Professor was all ready to say a few cheesy lines to make it official, yet they just had to wait on the fat little groom himself to grace them with his presence. Kids today, and their flawed perception of being 'fashionably late'. All hogwash.

Mr. Boss tensed slightly when he got the distinct notion that a pair of eyes were watching him. Like a hawk preying on some unexpected snake. He snapped his head up, glancing all around the room, but no one was paying attention to him. The guests were too caught up with how close 'peace' was between the two families.

He glanced up to the balcony, but only saw a brigade of his hired help coming out to take up positions. Mr. Boss' orbs narrowed in slight suspicion, but turned his head back to the alter, taking a puff on his cigar as he did. A moment later, he would roll his eyes as he put the object out once the Professor sent a condescending glare his way.

"Release me!" Prince Yul'sha snapped as he tried to wiggle his way out of the restraints the guards had put on him. "You all shall pay for this!"

After the incident in Yal'see's room, things had went downhill very fast for the poor prince. Mr. Boss had convinced his family elders that Yul'sha was just too 'destructive and bent on ruining the wedding'. It was true, of course, but not for the reasons the shrewd businessman was making them out to be. Anxious for peace the wedding was promised to bring, his elders had agreed it would best if Yul'sha was not allowed to attend the ceremony. The only loose end was Yul'sha himself, but Mr. Boss assured them that he would handle the prince as delicately as possible.

Unfortunately for Yul'sha, Mr. Boss' definition of 'delicately' involved throwing him into his room, slapping a pair of chains on his wrists, cuffing him to the support beam, and leaving a pair of armed ice cream men behind to make sure he didn't get any wise ideas.

"Oh, be quiet," one of the guards grumbled, firing a blast of choco-chunk at Yul'sha's feet as a warning. "I won't miss next time."

"Dear me, you're going to shot me with choco-chunk and raspberry delight. I'm terrified," Yul'sha mockingly spat. "You are aware my family owns the largest ice cream trading empire in this section of the world, right? The kinds of torturous methods we've created using popsicles would have you weeping for mercy!"

The guard sighed at Yul'sha's response. He holstered his weapon, and looked towards his partner. "See? This is why I hate guarding teenagers; they're too apathetic. They see a guy in bulked out, pink, ice cream elite armor and just laugh."

"I know. My little girl is sixteen, and she doesn't respect me at all," the other man lamented. "She used to beg me for rides in the company van all the time. Y'know, be my co-pilot and play the little ice cream jingle? Complete opposite after she hit high-school. Had to pick her up in the same van one day, and now she hates me because she claims I embarrassed her."

"Hey man, you didn't deserve that. You work hard."

"Yes," Yul'sha interjected, "walking around with ice cream based weapons and getting humiliated by children must be an exhausting work-day."

"You shut up!" the first guard snapped. "First of all, these are very high-end and expensive forms of weaponry. The inner mechanisms of such devices are highly sophisticated. And manly. VERY manly."

"Yeah! They can shoot sprinkles!"

"And secondly, never ever has any snot nosed brat got the drop on us."

It was at that moment where Numbuh Infinity decided to make his timely entrance by crashing in throw the window.

CRASH!

"IT'S A KID!"

"I NOTICED!"

"HE JUST CRASHED RIGHT THROUGH THE WINDOW!"

"Yeah…I know. I was there."

"HE TOTALLY GOT THE DROP ON US!"

"…wow. State the obvious some more, Greg."

"HE'S CHARGING UP SOME WEIRD, FREAKY SCI-FI LIKE LASER THING AND AIMING IT RIGHT FOR YOUR MID-SECTION!"

"See, there's this thing called an indoor voice. Maybe you should look into–wait, what?"

The guard was suddenly introduced to a painful world that involved an electric surge of blinding light. It was over in a second, but it felt like it lasted much longer to the guard who experienced it. The man was reduced to a smoking crisp, and there was a noticeable scent in the air that was almost reminiscent of bacon. The guard could not enjoy the smell, however, as his body slowly, and comically, inched closer and closer to the floor. He picked up quite a bit of speed before he the hi the wooden planks with a resounding 'thump'.

The second ice cream man looked up from his partner's unconscious form, to the culprit behind the attack. There, standing amongst shards of broken glass, was a small boy in an oddly particular black suit. The guard gulped at the intimidating glare in the kid's shades, and quivered at the sight of the shiny dart-gun-like weapon that just caused his partner to fall flat.

Before the guard could yell any more bits of information, Numbuh Infinity fired off another small dart at the man's mid-section as well. As soon as the dart made contact, a dazzling light show of stunning blue electricity danced and shimmered around the man's body. After a second, he found himself in the same state as his partner.

Infinity simply holstered his weapon. The device was a special hand-crafted stun weapon that was designed by a scientist he knew all too well. The weapon was small, easy to hide on person, and shot tiny suction darts that let off volts of tingling electricity. When Infinity asked exactly how many volts each burst gave off, the scientist answered, "One point Twenty-one gigawatts."

When Infinity then asked how could anyone possibly live through that kind of shock, the scientist scientifically and eloquently said, "Hey…shut up."

Yul'sha, who had been silent throughout Infinity's entrance, suddenly frowned. "Fantastic, another Kids Next Door operative. Here to mock the 'evil' teenager some with more faulty evidence?"

"No. I have no sense of humor I'm aware of," Infinity blandly replied as he approached the teenager. "I need your help."

"I don't know how you foreginers do things, but here, we usually free the person before demanding their assistance. The process is tried and true, I see no reason to deviate from it."

"And with what's happened in the past couple of hours, can you honestly say you'll help me once you're free?"

"…What could you possibly want?"

"A way to stop this wedding without completely tanking my organization's relationship with your family," Infinity explained, sounding more desperate than he could ever recall. "My associates –and I use that term in the loosest way possible– have gone on a suicide mission to stop the wedding by hijacking the operative Mr. Boss is using as a puppet for your sister."

"So they're stopping the wedding? I fail to see why that is a bad thing."

"Because you all fail to see the bigger picture! Even if they managed to stop the wedding by extracting Numbuh 4, there's no way to stop Mr. Boss from distorting things to make it seem like the KND was the bad guy. He'll make it seem like we're trying to stop peace to bloom between the families!"

"Still not seeing why I should concern myself with this."

"You know as well as I do we'll just be back here again, only the KND won't be in the country to help stop the wedding next time!"

"Ha! If you idiots hadn't been here at all, then there wouldn't even be a wedding to stop! I had my sister hidden before you ruined all my plans to keep her safe!"

"You can't honestly expect to hide her forever!"

"I will as long as I need to!"

"But if you help me, you won't!" Infinity was down to his last chips. "The Kids Next Door are not your enemy! Listen, if you assist me, then we can make sure Yal'see stays completely hidden. She'll be more secure than anywhere in this country."

"Where on Earth could you possibly hide my sister that I haven't thought of already?"

Infinity let a bit of smugness seep into his voice. "The moon, for one. Not exactly on Earth, but I figure you get my point."

Yul'sha paused at that. Normally, he'd call the boy crazy for suggesting such a thing. Children on the moon? Impossible. But considering these children had found his sister at an unmapped fortress, went through an army of royal guards, and had weaponry far beyond his imagination, Yul'sha found himself becoming a bit more open-minded.

Plus, he could hide his sister in space. Who would think to look for a princess in space?

"She will be safe?" he began to relent,"They will not know of her location?"

"Trust me," Infinity replied, his tone somewhat somber, "the type of people I work for know how the make someone disappear."

Yul'sha instantly decided he did not want to know what that exactly meant. "What exactly do you need me to do?"

"You've known about this whole thing longer than anyone of us, surely you must have had a back-up plan in case they found your sister."

"I may have a contingency plan or two, yes," Yul'sha admitted. "What did you have in mind?"

"I can't stop Sector V, and it'd be useless to try. All I need is something…anything to provide cover for their escape," Infinity elaborated. "Something that can't be connected back to the KND. Something you have to provide. Do you have something like that?"

Yul'sha narrowed his eyes in thought, but then sighed as he hesitantly looked down to the floor. "I may…know someone who can 'help'. Someone, whom if aware of this wedding, would stop at nothing to make sure it does not come to pass."

Infinity blinked. That sounded like just the person he needed. Someone to pin all the blame on if things went south. Which they were going to. It wasn't a question of 'if', it was a question of 'when'. "Is he trustworthy?"

"No! In fact, I had hoped I would only have to call on him as a last resort."

"This situation qualifies as last resort material," Infinity grumbled as he moved to free Yul'sha. "Can he get here in time?"

"He should be nearby. Needs to be close to keep an eye on my sister, after all," Yul'sha groaned, really not liking the prospect of having to call on this certain individual. But desperate times called for even more desperate measures. "This day just keeping more interesting…"

This is the end. It just happens to be split up in three parts.

No more author's notes from this point, just story. Unhinged story. Thank you to those who waited, to those who took the time to read. I hope you enjoyed this, and the rest of the story.