Chapter five:
Let's Fighting Love
he was seriously asking for a beating
-Kyon
A/N:This is where i introduce more characters, prepare for a surprise or two. And I have taken a few elements in other stories I've read, mostly Evangelion, sorry about that guys. The Evangelion setting is difficult for me to set up. But I've tried my best to take some of those elements and make them original as best as i can. As the story progresses though, i can guarentee you'll be reading ideas that are brand spanking new, or at least things I've never read before, Im also looking forward to not having to explain much of anything once things are properly set up, the beginning is always the hardest part of anything in my opinion.
So about that hint "Ku-Go" Anyone have an idea what I'm talking about yet? Heheheh, It won't be coming for a while but I can't wait! Failed science makes great fiction, I say.
On an unrelated note: Why is King of the hill youtube poop the only youtube poop worth watching? My theory is that it has 30% more -Waluigi!- ...yep.
This story starts off in mid-december, but i realize that Evangelion started in some other summery type of month. I don't care, fuck dates! Anyway I'm just doing crazy stuff for this story. Insomnia will have that effect. By the way, 'Itoko' is japanese for cousin.
And remember kids: premature pokeulation is a serious problem!
I was on my way to my first day of hi-school in this absurd place, I think I'll call this place bizarro world, that sums it up really. The sun was shining brightly above me like the watchful eye of an angry god and it was still hot. Thank god this school didn't require us to wear blazers like North high did, i was already starting to sweat. What's wrong with this world? It never got this hot in my old world. I was near the school gates, pondering that when i heard a familiar, yet very unfamiliar shout.
"Itoko-chan!"
I was tackled to the ground by a mysterious human bullet. Itoko-chan? This must be that cousin i heard about.
She got off my back and helped me up, when i saw her face, i was frozen still with fear. I was face to face with the last thing i had expected to see, her cheery expression and sunny smile was burned into my very soul.
"I read the report, but i had to see it for myself! Can you believe it? After all this time we're reunited!" Ryoko Asakura said with an expression of sunshine and rainbows that i had long sinse grouped in with stabby death.
"Y-you! You followed me all the way here to finish the job!" i screamed at her, stumbling backwards and accidentally pinning myself against a tree.
"Job?" she asked confusedly, "Oh... you still haven't forgiven me..." she said, bowing her head in shame.
"You tried to kill me! How could i forgive you?"
"That was an accident! I didn't mean to hurt you, I promise!"
"That knife said otherwise!" i retorted incredulously
"...W-what knife?" she asked, starting to tear up "I know i was a brat back then, but i would never want to h-hurt you, Kyon-kun!" She was sobbing now.
"Brat back then? What are you talking about?" It suddenly dawned on me, she didn't remember the old world at all, unless she learned to use tears as a facade... but the Ryoko Asakura i knew didn't have a full grip on human emotions. No... this had to be genuine.
"Don't you remember? Back when you used to live down the street from me, we used to play together everyday! And then one day... i got m-mad at y-you and pushed you off the j-jungle gym. You cried and ran back h-home, and the next day we moved away... You never called or wrote... I-I should have known you still hated me! I'm really sorry Kyon-kun!"
I can't stand to see cute girls cry... even if they may or may not have tried to stab me in the past...
I had to make amends, it seemed like the right thing to do
"Listen, Asakura-"
She blinked in confusion, "W-who's Asakura? How could you forget my name, it's Ikari! Ryoko Ikari... I...I think the Eva must have scrambled you're brains, are you okay?"
Scrambled my brains, huh? I'm pretty sure I'm still sane, for now anyway. This version Asakura seemed to be emotionally unstable, and i really don't want to look like a jerk on the first day of school, so I did the only thing i could think of.
"I've just been a little on edge since the fight, I don't hate you at all. I'm sorry about all of that..."
I was pinned up against the tree again as she gripped me in an earth shattering hug,
"Do you really mean it? I missed you so much! We can put all of that behind us and start over again, what do you say?"
"Uh... sure!"
When i got into class, Ryoko, who turned out to be the class representative once more, directed me to an empty seat by the window, surrounded by three more empty seats.
"Those people are usually here, but don't worry, I'm not isolating you or anything!" she said cheerfully, from a seat to my front diagonally. The teacher asked me to introduce myself after a laptop was issued to me. Laptop? This school is kind of neat!
"Well, you must be Mr. Ikari, care to introduce yourself?"
Gladly!
I sat up, with a wicked grin on my face, Maybe by doing this I'll find the Suzumiya of this world.
"My name is Kyon Ikari and I'm not interested in ordinary humans" i looked around the room to gauge reactions, so far everyone was staring at me with a WTF expression,
"If any of you are aliens, time travelers or espers, come see me, that is all"
and with that, I sat back in my seat, trying to keep a straight face. That was kind of fun!
"Uh... okay then..."
I was fiddling around with my new laptop while the teacher was blabbing on about something called second impact. Did I say this school was kind of neat? Well I misjudged, this laptop is the crappiest thing I had ever owned! In a world with giant robots/cyborgs whatever, you'd think they would have at least gotten civilian computer technology to the point of windows 95! this thing may have looked kind of high-tech on the outside, but it may as well have been an old model from the late eighties. The scientists of this world really need to get their priorities straight...
I was internally complaining about the state of modern technology when I got a message
Nagato?
Are you the pilot? y/n
No... still no sign of Nagato... what should i say? Should i really let people know I'm the pilot? I mean they aren't covering this stuff on the news for a reason... but apparently people know about this stuff anyway...
who want's to know?
I'm in new territory now, so flaunting my status as a pilot is probably not the best option at this moment
Just answer the question
But then again... this would be right up Haruhi's alley, and the closer i am to her in this world, the better.
Yes
There was an uproar as every girl in class squealed in delight and surrounded my desk with eyes filled with wonder and maybe obsession.
"Like omy gosh, You were awesome! I saw the leaked footage of the fights, just when i thought you were dead, you got all badass, nyoro~!"
Tsuruya?
"You were like, bitch! Pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow!"
It was Tsuruya! And she was making punches in the air to accent her Pows!
"My favorite part was when you beat it with you're guns like some trench fighter!"
I've never been so happy to see the cute motormouth in my life! But why is she in my class? Isn't she older than me?
"Alright, alright break it up!" Ryoko said, being a buzz kill.
Everyone let out a disappointed whine and went back to their seats.
Ryoko was in my face with a very angry look on her face
"Kyon-kun you're not supposed to tall to people about that stuff! I'm very disappointed in you..."
"Uh... heh, no one told me?"
Just then another student called out
"Class rep, are you a pilot too?"
Ryoko's face went red, oops, slipped a little didn't you?
"I uh... um-"
She was interrupted by a girl wearing an arm sling and bandages, who was just walking in the door,
"Ryoko Ikari cannot confirm or deny that, i would advise you cease your questions"
the class went quiet as the students whispered amongst themselves.
"Oh uh... miss Ayanami! I didn't know they let you out so soon, are you feeling okay?"
wait, that's the girl from before... so her name's Ayanami, as in zero? This is going to be an interesting school year.
"I am well"
"tell me if you need to go to the nurse's office okay?" Ryoko said as she went back to her seat.
"That will not be necessary"
such a strange girl... speaking in monotone, she reminds me so much of Nagato, but she's definitely not her.
"Hey, miss Ayanami?" i asked, ready for some answers.
"Yes?" she asked turning around to face me. Now that I was looking at her up close, I had time to take in her features. She was really plain looking, but in a beautiful way, I'm not really sure how to explain it. Red eyes, like that angel's core or whatever, and blue hair, lighter than Ryoko's. There's no way this girl is human, not completely anyway.
We were staring at one another for a few moments, not breaking eye contact until i finally spoke,
"You're not human, are you?"
If I hadn't been accustomed to being able to read the trace amounts of emotion in people's faces, I would have missed it. She was surprised, shocked even.
"...That is classified" she said in a deadpan, breaking eye contact for a split second.
Classified huh? How nostalgic. But it seems I have another lead now. Could this girl be the key Nagato was talking about?
"Oh... i see. Can you tell me how you got so banged up?" I asked, milking her for clues.
"That is also classified"
"Is there anything you can tell me?"
"There is little"
Well that's anticlimactic...
I was heading off to lunch when i was stopped by a classmate,
"Hey new kid, what's with that crazy introduction?" I turned around and was met with the sight of a less than amused looking guy in a track seat with nervous kid in glasses.
"Um.. Touji, don't do anything rash man!"
He didn't take his eyes off me,
"Be quiet Kensuke, i got this handled"
This didn't feel friendly at all, but i played it cool
"Maybe I'm just a crazy kind of guy" i said non-chalantly
"Oh a smartass, I guess i won't feel so bad about this!"
Feel bad about what?
Blam!
I was seeing moons and stars and Higurashi reruns as i fell to the ground. This guy has a mean right hook! I got up shakily and asked,
"What the hell was that for?"
"Sorry new guy, just wasn't gonna feel right till I thrashed you"
"You bald octopus! I didn't do anything to you!"
"Who you callin' a bald octopus?" he said as he swung his fist at me again. Okay this shit is ridiculous! I'm really not a fighter by nature, but I'll be damned I'm going to be beat up for no reason! I dodged and swung back, landing an uppercut on his jaw.
He nursed his jaw and said,
"You're really gonna wish you didn't do that, new guy"
I doubled over in agony after he landed a swift kick to my stomach, and fell on my back as he kicked me in the face.
"You got allot of guts, i admire that. But this is something i just gotta do"
he lifted his foot, ready to stomp my face when suddenly-
"Kiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaaa!"
"What the-"
Blam!
A girl had just jump kicked him in the face! Like a valkyrie descending from the heavens with all the fury of an angered god!
She picked him up off the ground by his collar, with her long brown hair and yellow headband shining in the bright sun and an expression that promised slow painful death marred her pretty face.
"What the hell do you think you're doing you meathead? How can you be so ungrateful to the guy who just save all our lives?"
"S-suzumiya!" Touji stuttered in shock
"Shut up!" she yelled, punching him in the face. Kensuke looked like he was ready to wet himself.
She put the stereotypical jock in a headlock and forced him to look at me as i got up.
"Say you're sorry you ungrateful worm!"
I can't believe it, Haruhi coming to my rescue!
"S-sorry new kid!"
"Now was that so hard?" she said as she pushed him away, "Now get out of here!" He obliged and ran like a bat out of hell. I can't say i really blame him.
"S-suzumiya... I uhh..." Kensuke was still there, shaking with fear.
"Listen nerd, I got nothing against you, so scram before i change my mind!"
"Y-yes mam!" and he scurried off after Touji.
Haruhi dusted herself off and faced me with a deadly serious look,
"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya" her face shifted to something akin to a small child meeting their favorite baseball player, "And I'm you're biggest fan!"
A/N CLIFFHANGER! Heheheh I like where this is heading. Don't worry, I may take a while to write more but I assure you that I'm putting every effort in keeping this fic from dying. That's something that irks me about this crossover. Very few people ever cross Evangelion with Haruhi and even less actually finish it. So I'm making it my duty to be the first to actually complete this concept. Even if this story gets poor reception by the time i end it, I will still pride myself in the fact that i did what no one to my knowledge has ever done. Pierce the heavens and kick reason to the curb! I also urge anyone who has the time and interest to write their own Eva-Haruhi crossover, as it is always a joy for me to see this kind of thing. Sorry if this story isn't the best it could be, i don't have internet at home and I have to go to a friends house to even publish this. So i have to upload what i got when i get the chance, my philosophy is better to have something half decent than nothing at all. So if you guys would be so kind, please review and tell me what you think, don't be afraid to point out misspelling, grammar and general errors, because how do we learn but through our mistakes?
Until next time guys
xXThe mirror tells me LIESXx
This is as far as I could edit, I hope you guys find it much more enjoyable with the slight changes. And I finally changed that annoying second impact typo, that was bothering me for quite some time. Yay me!