Note: I'm back again. Supposed to be washing my car, but I'm way to lazy. So I'll just write some more instead. This story is so much fun to write, such a release. Elizabeth's fun like this, lol. Oh and I don't really know what Simon does, so for the sake of this story he is fixit man, he does a little from column A, a little from column B. Hes a scientist, a diplomat, a sex god, all in one. Lol, use your imagination.
Disclaimer: I do not own StarGate Atlantis or the novel "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding.
Warning: Low level swearing used and some adult scenes.
Elizabeth Weir's Diary!
February: Valentine's Day Massacre!
Thursday, 2nd February
52 kg (better, am slowly recovering), 0 moonshine (keeping away from the stuff), 6 cigarettes (stress from not drinkng moonshine), 1456 calories.
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Office. So much paper work to do. So much for New Years Resolution of work less. I did go train with Teyla earlier this morning though. Then John turned up and I left quickly, I didn't want him to see me stick fighting. He might think that something is up. Besides, I don't want to ruin his quality time with Teyla. Rodney's coming ... AH! Must hide. Haven't spoken to him since incident. Am so scared, can't believe I kissed him.
4 p.m. Atlantis: Balcony. Needed air to think. Seems like everyone hates me at the moment. Avoided Rodney through whole of drug briefing, John seems very bitter towards me and I don't know why. Then there's Simon who is silently watching over me but who hasn't smiled or laughed or REALLY spoken to me since the whole drug incident.
4:15 p.m. OMG! Does he know about Rodney? Surely he wouldn't hold that against me. I wasn't in control.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quatres. WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?
Saturday, 4th February
52 kg, 1 glass of moonshine (slowly getting back on to the stuff), 10 cigarettes (depression cause am not loved), 298 calories (can't eat because people who hate me are in mess room).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. Came here looking for Simon. He seems to have disappeared. Where has he gone? Why has he left me? Why is life so cruel?
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Office. Still no Simon, would ask someone where he's gone, but don't want to talk to them if they wont talk to me first. Starting to think maybe I should talk to Rodney. Clear the air. Can't believe I'm going to say this, but I miss him bugging me all day.
11 p.m. Carson is only friend. He cares about me, he asked me how I was and I felt like yelling all my troubles at him.
'Bloody crap. Simon hates me, Rodney's scared of me, Simon's gone missing and John ... well I don't even know what the hell's wrong with him.'
But I decided to just leave it and tell him that I was fine. Then he gave me a check-up and told me that I was clean. The drug had completely left my system and that I didn't seem to be craving it or anything. Didn't even think about that. Last thing I would need at this point is to be addicted to something else. Then Carson said weird thing.
'Good thing Colonel Sheppard found you. Otherwise who knows how long you would have been out in that room.'
Midnight. Atlantis: My Quatres. So John rescued me from drug-overdose state. Hmmm. Is that why he's not speaking to me? Does he think I'm some sort of junky? Why is everything my fault.
I can't believe he was concerned enough for me to follow me and then come to my rescue. Am touched.
I definitely need to speak to Rodney tomorrow.
Sunday, 5th February
51 kg (couldn't eat, practicing what to say to Rodney), 3 glasses of moonshine (make me more confident), 32 cigarettes (something's wrong with me, seriously), 768 calories.
10 a.m. Atlantis: Caldwells Office. Caldwell called me in to discuss some new mission. Some planet needing help form the Wraith. Will be the first gate travel in a while. Will send John, he seems like he needs to get away for a bit. Still no sign of Simon ... should really be listening to Caldwell, could be important. Damn, now he has the graphs out again ... Is that a dirty magazine in his drawer?
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quatres. Well I spoke to Rodney. Wasn't quite sure how to approuch the whole situation, so I was just straight with him.
'WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM RODNEY? I was drugged, I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry I kissed you OKAY!'
Really shouldn't have done that in front of whole room of scientists. A lot of jaws dropped after that. Can be so stupid sometimes. Rodney seemed to get the message though, he actually came and spoke to me like he used to after that. Am happy. Now to start looking for Simon again.
Tuesday, 7th February
53 kg (food good), 2 glasses of moonshine, 2 cigarettes (very good), 1056 calories, no. of times wanted to hit Rodney with a stick: 899 (very good concidering), no. of times wanted to hit John with a stick: 8765 (very good concidering).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Labs. Someone please remind me why I wanted Rodney speaking to me again! He woke me up at 4 a.m, on day off, to tell me that one of the lab computers exploded. What am I supposed to do about it? I don't repair things. Out of my hands now anyway.
8 a.m. Rodney has another new invention. He interupted my breakfast to tell me this. Wheres my gun? I'm going to kill him. Damn, don't have a gun.
9 a.m. Should really look into getting a gun.
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Quatres. Am here sulking. Saw John headed for balcony, thought I'd follow. Have one of our little talks, see what's bothering him. But when I got there he was laughing away happily with little nurse hussy. How could he? On MY balcony. Hate him, want to kill him.
1 p.m. My new rule. No one goes onto my balcony but me. The nurve of that messy haired creep.
2 p.m. I miss Simon. Maybe he ran away because I've been neglecting him. I mean I know we haven't exactally been touchy feely with one another lately, but I mean, where not exactally at home anymore. We're on Atlantis, who knows how many ancient ghosts are watching us.
2:15 p.m. Scary thought. They could be watching me right now.
2:30 p.m. I really need to find something to do.
Late Night. Atlantis: Labs. I am going to shoot Rodney. His new invention blew up the lab. What an idiot. Now there's a whole big mess to clean up. He's just lucky he's going off-world soon or I would have thrown him in the ocean.
Midnight. Why don't I have a gun?
Thursday, 9th February
53 kg, 2 glasses of moonshine, 3 cigarettes (so proud of myself I had a drink, hence moonshine glasses), 2376 calories (realised was very hungry), no. of times got my arse kicked by Teyla: 12.
9 a.m. Atlantis: Gym. Annoyed at fact that I didn't have a gun, so instead I went to gym and stick fighted with Teyla. I think I'm getting better. Ronan's laughter wasn't as loud as usual. He'll get what's coming to him anyway. Just as soon as I can beat Teyla. Not long now. John came into gym so I left. Not talking to him. Keep seeing hussy nurse giggling around him. Haven't talked to him since Infirmary anyway, he'll get over it.
Afternoon. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. He came back. Stupid moron was on the main-land doing something important. I was planning on being angry with him for not telling me where he went, but he was so affectionate I just couldn't. I think he missed me too, so nice to be missed.
Saturday, 11th February
Early Morning. Atlantis: Briefing Room. So nice to have Simon to stare at again. He's so sexy when sleeping during briefings. Pity it's my briefing he's sleeping through. I guess I can forgive him.
Sunday, 12th February
52 kg (stick fighting with Teyla is paying off), 0 moonshine (had other things to do wink, wink, nudge, nudge), 0 cigarettes, 867 calories (didn't need to eat, found other things to do cough).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Labs. Really should be listening to Rodney and Zelenka babble on, but am too fixated with Simon. It's amazing how going away for a short period of time can make you realise just how much you missed seeing their sexy backside ... Huh? Oh know, I did it again ...
'E-Elizabeth? What do you think?'
CRAP! Really should pay more attention.
1 p.m. Atlantis: My Quatres. Awkward moment just occured. Don't know what came over us. I stepped into transporter, Simon followed. Alone in this tiny little space, him looking so darn attractive, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Next moment someone enters and we quickly pull apart as if nothing had ever happened. It was John, looking very stunned and confused. He averted my eyes as he awkwardly nodded a small greeting.
1:30 p.m. Why do I feel so damn guilty? He's been making out with his little nurse friend in front of everyone, why can't I have a little fun. Never realised how much more exciting forbidden love can be ... hmmm, might spend the night in Simons quatres.
Late Night. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. Never realised how much I could miss something so much. Now I know why I was happy Simon was here. Why have we waited so long to sleep together on Atlantis, what's wrong with me. I must be out of my mind. Night's still young though ...
Monday, 13th February
50 kg (weight loss due to sex), 0 moonshine (who needs grog now anyways), 4 cigarettes (mainly after sex habit), 256 calories (no food, just sex).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. What's wrong with us? We can't keep away from each other. I blame it on the Wraith. The fact that we could all blow up and die any second now draws us closer together and forces us to enjoy every moment as though it's our last. OKay, not really, we're just sick. Very sick, we've caught some rare sex disease that can not be cured. So tired, I'm never going to be able to stay awake in Caldwells briefing.
11 a.m. Atlantis: Briefing Room. So very, very, VERY exhausted. Want to sleep ... need to sleep ... eyelids, getting heavy. Maybe if I just close my eyes for a few minutes ... message on lap top, wonder who from.
Message Weir
Late night last night?
Sheppard
Damn him. Made me cranky that he didn't even look at me. Just sat there pretending to listen to Caldwells little speach. What was his problem lately anyway?
Message Sheppard
It's really none of your buisness, please don't message
me again, I am trying to listen to Caldwell's very
important briefing. It involves you and your team you
know, you should be listening.
Weir
That ought to get him. Hmmm, not even so much as a smurk as he read it. Maybe I should appologise, was that to harsh? Oh screw him, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.
11:30 a.m. Atlantis: Briefing Room (sigh). John still hasn't messaged back. Bastard. Hmph! I'll just go back to sleeping instead. Oh, message.
Message Weir
Something's wrong with you. Your falling asleep
I didn't realise paper work could make you so
PHYSICALLY exhausted.
Sheppard
OMG! Recieved puzzled looks from around the room after that because I fell into a rather long coughing fit. I composed myself quickly though, it's what I do. Now he was smirking, but in a rather sarcastic way. What was his problem anyway? Fine, I'll just fight fire with fire ... no, I wont. I'm strong, I'm cool, I'm calm, I can handle this. I'll just ignore him.
12 p.m. Atlantis: Briefing Room (why wont it end?). OKay, OKay ... I'll just send him a small message, just to show him that two can play at his evil little game.
Message Sheppard
Had a lot of CHECK-UPS lately have you?
Weir
Take that John. Yes, that's right, I know all about you and your little nurse friend. Another Message.
Message Weir
Yes actually I have. You have no idea how
many. I've never enjoyed being sick, this much.
Sheppard
Again, weird looks as broke into another coughing fit. This time I didn't bother stopping it. I simply grabbed my lap top excused myself and left the briefing.
1 p.m. They're all still in the briefing. I didn't bother going back. John made me angry, am going to ban him from gate travel ... no, then I have to send Bates instead and that man is so annoying to listen to in briefings. Talk about up himself. Oh, message on lap top ... if it's from John I'll trash his quatres right now.
Message Weir
I know where you sleep.
Unknown
Ack ... I need a hug.
Tuesday, 14th February
51 kg, 5 glasses of moonshine (Valentines Day party, I'm allowed), 12 cigarettes (Valentines Day, I'm allowed), 3567 calories (eating for eatings sake), no. of times wish I had a gun so as to shoot John: 245.
Early Morning. Atlantis: Halls. Am so pissed off right now. A Valentines Day party, no doubt John's bloody idea. Only Rodney was the one to ask. Gutless man, making others do it for him. I said no, out of the question, definitely not. Then Halling and Teyla ran up to me with Valentines cards.
'What are these for?' I asked puzzled.
'Colonel Sheppard said cards are given to the people that we care about on this traditional day of yours.'
After Teyla said that her and Halling gave me cards from them and other Athosians. They wern't exactally right, I mean, they wern't your traditional Valentines cards, but they said they cared about me. I'm so going to regret this, but I'll let the party go ahead.
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Office. It's supposed to be Valentines day and I haven't seen Simon at all yet, what is he playing at. He's supposed to be my boy friend, boy friends are supposed to give you things on Valentines Day.
2 p.m. So many valentine cards, am so happy I am loved. Not by Simon though obviously as he still hasn't turned up. One more card to open.
To Liz,
Be my Valentine you sexy Minx.
I want you to be mine.
Marry Me.
Love from, Unknown.
Am scared again. Thinking of burning the card. Maybe I can get it finger printed. Hmmm, now that's a thought.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quatres. I knew the whole party thing was a bad idea. Most horrible night ever. Simon showed up, at last. Couldn't yell at him for leaving me alone all day as he had rather nice bouquet of exotic plants from some random planet. He's so smart and clever and picks such nice flowers. But, musn't let happy Simon thoughts destract me from anger and frustration.
Drunken people trashed Atlantis, the place is going to be such a mess. Alright for John, Teyla, Rodney and Dex, they all get to go off-world tomorrow. And speaking of John, that bastard. I needed air so headed for my balcony - and he was there, with his nurse friend. They were all over each other, it was horrible. I can never go to that balcony again.
Even later night. I want to kill John Sheppard. Few more lessons with Teyla and I'll be able to kick his arse from here to the main land. Bastard.
Wednesday, 15th February
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Office. Teyla, Rodney, Dex and that other loser have gone off-world. I should have gone. I want to go off-world. I need a break. Why does everyone else get to escape from Atlantis every now and then whilst I have to stay couped up here in my office. Ran into Sheppards little nurse friend whilst visiting Carson this morning. She smiled at me, how dare she. Oh and her name is Mindy ... MINDY! What sort of a name is that? Had to resist the temptation to trip her over.
Late Night. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. Am depressed and angry, so slept with Simon. It helps. Think I'll stay here a while. Evil, evil, evil Mindy.
Sunday, 19th February
50kg, 0 moonshine (can't drink), 0 cigarettes (can't smoke), 0 calories (can't eat).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Gate Room. They're late, there very late. Why do they always do this to me? They should know by now that it's not funny to do this to me. Haven't heard from John, haven't heard from Rodney, they were supposed to be back yesterday morning. They're not! WHERE ARE THEY?
Afternoon. Atlantis: Gate Room. Still not back yet, still no message. Everyone else is getting edgy now to. Caldwell keeps asking if I've heard from them yet. If he asks me one more time I'm going to throw burning hot coffee at him.
Late Night. Atlantis: Gate Room. Can't sleep ... they might try to contact us and everyones asleep, must stay awake.
Monday, 20th February
50kg, 0 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 5 calories (apple ... food ... need).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Gate Room. Still here ... haven't left ... can't ... so scared. John tried to contact us. His voice came over the radio.
'Wraith ... attacking ... gate ... can't get through ... need ... another way ...'
AHHHHH! Why did he have to contact me, now I'm worried even more. Feel a lot better if he just didn't tell me. I wish Rodney was here.
Late Night. Atlantis: Gate Room. Zelenka is working hard on a solution, but so far he has come up with nothing. So tired, so stressed, so hungry but can't eat.
Tuesday, 21st February
49kg (ahhhh), 4 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 67 cups of coffee, 189 calories.
Early Morning. Atlantis: Gate Room. Still awake, no sleep. Zelenka figured out solution ... beautiful, beautiful man. Dialing device on Jumper was broken so another team needed to be sent. I was too hasty, now I've sent Bates to his death as well, I'm sure of it. I'm killing off all the men in Atlantis. Soon it's just going to be me and Mindy left to defend the whole city. I need another coffee.
Late Night. Atlantis: Infirmary. Hyperventilating again. They made it through, all of them. But Sheppards DEAD! Well, OKay, not really, am over exagerating, but he might as well be. He's lying in a bed, not moving, machines all around him. What have I done? I've killed him. I was so angry after him destroying my sacred balcony that my evil death wishes for him came true. I'm a witch, an evil, evil witch. I need a drink.
Wednesday, 22nd February
10 a.m. Nearly hit Kavenaugh again. Should have, would have felt better. John's condition still hasn't changed. Found Mindy by his bedside today crying. Nearly hit Mindy. Should have, would have felt better.
1 p.m. Atlantis: My Quatres. Carson told me I needed rest. Usually I don't listen to him ... but I had to, he made me. Damn him and his scottish authority. Now I'm sitting in my quaters feeling even worse then I did in the infirmary. I take it all back, I don't want John to die. And they got it all wrong anyway, I was the one that was supposed to be doing the killing, not the Wriath. Must be strong ...
1:15 p.m. Screw being strong. I'm just going to cry ... makes me feel better. Ahhh, knock on the door. I'm supposed to be resting damn it, doctors orders. It's Rodney, can't let him see me crying.
Saturday, 25th February
52 kg (recovering), 0 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 8 cups of coffee, 2678 calories, no. of times walked half way to infirmary then changed my mind and turned around: 47.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quatres. John's been awake and sitting up for at least a day now. Still haven't been to see him. Feel quilty, is my fault. Will get emotional and don't want people to think I'm weak. I'll just keep asking Carson for a report each time I pass him in the halls.
Monday, 27th February
51 kg (from walking half way to infirmary and back all day), 2 moonshine, 14 cigarettes, 15 cups of coffee, 1786 calories, no. of times walked half way to infirmary then changed my mind and turned around: 78.
Early Morning. Atlantis: Simons Quatres. Simon made me go sit with him. He's quiet ... a little too quiet. He knows I wanted John dead, he's on to me. I need sleep, I'm becoming paranoid. Maybe if I go and see John.
Afternoon. Atlantis: My Quatres. I was at the infirmary door, I was going to see him. He looks a lot better now. Not all sick and bloody and pale like when he first came back. But then I took one look at him, stitches on his forehead, and got all emotional again. What's wrong with me, I've seen him in the infirmary before ... but not like that. Really thought he was going to die. Chickened out and found myself back here.
3 p.m. Tried again, but he was sharing a joke with a still semi-teary Mindy. She's just putting it on. I didn't want to interupt, so I retreated back to my quatres again. He can come out soon anyway. I'll see how he is then.
Late Night. Atlantis: Outside Infirmary. OKay, I will go see him. He's sleeping though, don't want to interupt ... i'll just let him rest.
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AN: That's it for February. So much fun, so much excitement. Poor John, poor Weir, poor Mindy. Oh heck, who cares about her. Lol. Thanks to all who reviewed, they made me smile, I like hearing what you guys think. Thank you so much. Next up is March (horror music plays).