Note: AM SO SORRY! I know it took a long to time to update, but life has just been real hectic at the moment. Boy troubles, lol ... so now am very depressed because of dificulties so it is an absolutly perfect time to write about other peoples' misery. And who was the unknown person that told me I couldn't spell. I was so upset! Give me a name ... GIVE ME A NAME! Lol, no, honestly I don't care. It's true, can't argue with facts. And this program has no spell check and am on the lap top and sometimes the key pad dosnt work when you press it fast ... Im just making excuses. Anyways, enjoy nonetheless.
finnstardust: Awwww, only cause you said please. LOL! You may have to wait a little while though. And who knows what's going to happen, there's still so many months to go! And things arn't looking good!
Hazeydream: LOL! I don't think anyone knew Elizabeth could think like this. That's what makes it funny. Thing is she COULD think like this, if Atlantis was a comedy. But we all have our little probs, Elizabeth just has many! Thanks for reviewing both chapters, much appreciated. And I've been reading some of your stories!
peanut: Caldwell ey? Hmmm! That could be arranged. I sorta think HE has a thing for HER and not the other way around. So that could work. Thanks for the idea ... really feel like peanuts now.
ashipper: Got it. I'll remember sparky now! Won't forget. And yes, sigh they are trying. It's there, you've just got to look.
Snow'sLuckyCat: LOL! Your reviews always make me laugh. I told all my friends that line, they just rolled their eyes at me. How rude. Sorry you had to wait so long for may! But June and July... definitely wont have to wait as long!
anonymous: Hmph!
BeachchickJASSNL: I continued ... maybe not SOON, but I did. Lol, and I'm glad you can see it. Subtle yes, but is glad you can see it there.
Sheppardster: She does want to tell Elizabeth something big. But I can't tell you yet. Neither can she. LOL! hugs thanks for saying I'm doing great and yeah, if she dosn't take them off soon, I'll have to step in and I don't wanna have to do that!
gatelover313: Lol, yup! But I mean, who would like Mindy, LOL! Kidding, i'm sure she's a lovely girl. Some real mindy hating coming up as well.
sparklegem: LMAO! I'm so happy you liked that line. It was such a dull converstaion and I thought, hmph, I'll just shove it in there. And it worked out okay! LOL! I'm so happy there's a Simon/Elizabeth shipper reading. That's great! And glad you reviewed too. Makes me happy you did!
Evenstar: I KNOW! I CANT EITHER! I'm so cruel! LOL! Yeah, she's such a nut. But I'm sure it was a great jar. She must not destroy the other one though!
eris86: LOL! yes she should! writes it in Excellent! LOL!
missuniverse93: Were you really miss universe? Another one that liked that line. I'm happy now cause it wasn't in the first write up. And the jar line was good too, excellent to hear. I like knowing what worked and what didn't (spelling, grrrr).
PurpleYin: Zelenka/Weir? Okay if ya want. Just cause you gave me a nice review, i'll put it in. I KNOW! I fixed it up. It's spelt right now, i hope. Was so angry, I'm like, na, thats how you spell it here in aus ... but it wasn't! Am so ashamed. lol!
Disclaimer: I do not own StarGate Atlantis or the novel "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding.
Warning: Use of swearing, adult themes, bad stunts which shouldn't be copyed at home, bad behavior, agression, anger, violence and just over all a whole lot of stuff you shouldn't copy as adopting this life style could indeed affect your health.
Elizabeth Weir's Diary!
May: Let The Bad Times Roll!
Wednesday, 3rd May
51 kg, 0 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 1678 calories.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quaters: Have run away from Simon. Am frightened. I seriously think I am pregnat. I don't understand how we could have been so stupid. What am I going to do? Will they still let me lead Atlantis in this state? Will they kick me out on the street? But Atlantis dosn't have any streets! What then? Simon and I shouldn't have gotten so carried away. Sure I was glad he was back. Sure, he was glad he was alive, but why? WHY?
Thursday, 4th May
53 kg (dosn't matter as must take care of the baby), 0 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 2599 calories (must eat for the baby).
Early Morning. Atlantis: Briefing Room. Never have I felt so out of place. So judged. John stared at me all through the briefing. So did Rodney. Heck, everyone did. Do they know? Or am I just becoming paranoid. Am making mental note now to check with Carson about whole brain damage thing. Really need to make sure that smoking and drinking really can harm your child. If there is the slightest chance it can't then I am so going to smoke up my room tonight.
3 p.m. Is not funny anymore. Am seriously worried. This can't happen to me. I will make a terrible parent. Simon would be going off-world, I'd be telling people off, the child would probably be better off getting raised by the Wraith. Will make horrible, horrible mother.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Office. Can't sleep. Office is my only sanctuary. Am typing sorrows away on lap top. Simon hasn't been talking to me, am going to be a single mother. Hmmm ... I have a message.
Message Weir
I know what you're up to.
Come to East-Atlantis transporter
for a good time.
Unknown
DOSN'T THIS BASTARD KNOW I AM GOING TO BE A FUCKING MOTHER!
Friday, 5th May
54 kg (baby weight), 0 moonshine, 0 cigarettes, 1555 calories.
8 a.m. Am really getting desperate. Am thinking of going to Carson and asking him to give me a once over. Make sure that it's not just all in my head. But am so frightened at what he might tell me I have decided I'm not going.
8:15 a.m. I suppose it couldn't hurt.
8:20 a.m. No, there's no way I'm going. He'll judge me. I know he will.
Afternoon. Atlantis: Balcony. Have retreated back to my soiled balcony. There was nowhere else to go. Am alone. Simon has run away, left me. I don't want to have a child alone. I am too young. I'm only 32 for crying out loud.
1 p.m. Just remembered I'm 32 ... I REALLY need a drink.
3 p.m. YIPPIE! Have never ever, in my entire life been so happy to be suffering from PMS! Am not pregnat, can't be. It's a miracle!
4 p.m. Am 32 years old, boy friendless and childless. WHY ME?
Saturday, 6th May
55 kg (slowly taking baby weight off), 15 moonshine, 60 cigarettes (baby trauma - will get therapy one day), 1490 calories, no. of times bumped into John and mindy: 23 (KILL!)
Early Morning. Atlantis: My Office. On my way to the office, I ran into John. Remembered that I was upset with him about jar so ignored him. I just decided to walk past looking at the floor. Rodney interupted me and when I turned around to leave I ran straight into John.
'Oh, sor - John! Hmph ... It's YOU!'
Stupid bastard didn't say anything just sorta looked down at me with a cold, hard stare and walked around me.
10 a.m. Dosn't that prick know I am TRAUMATISED! Not just over baby and age, but over Jar. Will never be the same again.
Noon. Atlantis: My Quaters. Stupid Mindy. Stupid John! What are they like actually an item now? I walked past them today in the halls. I don't know if they knew anyone was watching them but he had his hand around her skinny little shoulders whilst she had one placed gently on his arse.
1 p.m. WHY DO I CARE?
2 p.m. Where's Simon gone?
Tuesday, 9th May
52 kg (weight off due to time spent with Simon and depression), 2 moonshine (very good), 62 cigarettes (eep!), 891 calories, no. of hours spent on actual work: 8 (better).
Noon. Atlantis: My Office. Well Simon showed up again. Have no idea where he was. Says he was busy on the mainland again. What has this place come too. I don't even get told when people are heading off to the mainland now. They just fly on off as though its a bus that leaves at the same time every day. It's all Caldwells fault. I bet he was the one that planned all this. Stupid idiot is out to get me. Am really glad Simon is back though.
Late Night. Atlantis: Simons Quaters. Everything seems so weird at the moment. I feel so distant from John with the whole Mindy thing. I guess I'm just having troubles accepting that he's actually found someone. So used to seeing him as typical military type man. And now this!
Meanwhile, relationship with Simon is very, VERY bizare. I realised we're becoming too military ourselves. Everything is routine. It's so dull, so boring and now, so meaningless. My whole day can be put into a simple step by step guide:
1. Wake up and start work.
2. Work.
3. Finnish Work.
4. See Simon.
5. Sleep with Simon.
That's it. That is my day, every day. What has my life come to when sex just dosn't mean anything anymore? It suddenly just seems like such a regular thing having Simon around. Just like back on earth. Now I suddenly realise how boring my life was on earth.
Midnight. Atlantis: Simons Quaters. OH MY GOSH! Am I bored with Simon? What am I going to do?
Sunday, 14th May
52 kg, 0 moonshine (am still recovering), 20 cigarettes (better, but still shocking ... am a chimney), 1999 calories (mostly chocolate).
Early Morning. Atlantis: My Quaters. Am so hung over. Was very interesting night. All in all not so bad. Have now realised am in an actual relationship with Simon and I am not going to let bordom ruin what I have been wanting for for so long.
Realised all was very quiet for a Saturday night and so went for a little bit of a stroll down Atlantis Lane. There seemed to be a fair number of small gatherings going on. I was very hurt that noone bothered to ask me to go along. Nothing spectactular, just a few of the Airmen and scientists and doctors all getting together and having a bit of fun. No big deal, I would get over it.
Walked past Dex's quaters (if you could call them that, more like a cave then anything else) and I over heard happy laughter. So I stuck my head around just for a peek. There was Dex, Teyla, John and Mindy, all siting around having a very deep and fun filled chat. I was very angry. I think John may have seen me, but I pulled my head out as soon as I saw and briskly walked away. Made me angry. But at least I knew Rodeny hadn't been invited either.
So that was when I started looking for him. And I found him. In the labs with Zelenka and Beckett and a few other scientists. They were all having a very rowdy drinking conversation.
'Elizabeth ... welcome to the party!' A drunken Rodney grabbed my arm and pulled me in the room and I felt very welcome. So naturally I joined in the drinking games.
And a small note to self ... never play drinking games with scientists. Nine times out of ten you end up the most trashed as their games are far too intelligent for you and you end up ALWAYS getting them wrong.
'OKay ... Lizabef, yours turned ... 7145?'
'Errrr ... no. of clothes in my wardrobe?'
'NO! Iz tha nomba of molicules in a lizerd. DRINKKKKKKKKKKKK!'
'OKay, OKay!' Zelenka's turn to ask me. '146?'
'Hmmm ... no. of times I've lost this game?'
'NOOOOOOOOO! DRINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!'
Only took about 20 minutes before I was completly off my face. Didn't hook up with Rodney this time though, although I did spend half the night with Zelenka sitting VERY close to me. That was when Simon turned up. Looking for me no doubt. He stumbled over, must have been drunk himself. Although I don't know why. Means he must have gone to a party and didn't invite me. Have I been missing out on these little get togethers EVERY Saturday night?
So that was preety much when everyone decided it was time to go to bed. McKay left looking like he was going to be sick, so did Zelenka ... although he did manage to give me a slight pat on the butt as he was leaving. I blame it on his drunkeness. Although does make me wonder if he was the one that grabbed me on New Year as well. Some of the other girls there were stumbling over, giggling stupidly. Simon helped some of them up, even led some of them back to their quaters. I didn't mind. I was happy, well for the most part. Happy because I had the perfect man that all the other girls clearly wished they had and angry because he had ruined the party just when I was going to get 8359 right. I mean it was clearly the number of times I had wanted to strangle Mindy.
Then when Simon came back he picked me up and took me back to my room, where he made it a perfect end to my night.
3 p.m. Am still cross at fact that I wasn't invited to ANY party's. Had to find one myself. But at least I have the perfect boy friend.
Wednesday, 17th May
51 kg (hurray!), 0 moonshine (don't need it), 5 cigarettes (very good), 944 calories.
6 p.m. Simon is still being perfect. I've found myself having wild fantasies about the two of us running along the beaches on the mainland hand in hand. Standing back to back on top of Atlantis whilst people gun down Wraith in front of us ... the two of us in complete control. King and Queen of Atlantis. But naturally I get to be King, only because King's have that slight power advantage. Queen's just looks preety ... then again, the Queen of england seemed to be doing preety well without a fella.
I'm thinking way too much into this. Must get back to work.
7 p.m. Fantasies of Simon and me were shattered when I caught a glimpse of him from my office window. Was just staring at his back dreamily when he turned around and smiled. He looked bloody terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes, his body was sort of all hunched over as though he was too tired to stand up straight and when he smiled at me my perfect image of us changed dramatically. Suddenly found new image in my head where I was standing alone on top of Atlantis whilst horrible scary Wraith Simon came towards me threatening to suck the life out of me.
It was then that John walked into my office. It was also then that, so deep in thought and surprised at John entering my office, that I fell backwards off my chair.
'I'll come back later.'
And by the time I stood back up and composed myself he was gone.
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quaters. What did John want? Probably wanted to take my other jar away from me too. Well he's not getting it.
Monday, 22nd May
54 kg (WHAT? Where did it come from?), 3 moonshine, 8 cigarettes, 957 calories, no. of negative thoughts: 900 (terrible).
Late Night. Atlantis: My Quaters. Miserable, misarable day! Simon has gone off once more so was all alone with nothing to do. So naturally resorted to work. That was when John decided to come back in for another go at that conversation he was trying to have with me last week.
'Elizabeth?'
'John?'
'This a good time?'
'I suppose ...'
He just sort of nodded at me and stood there looking around the room. I waited ...
'Look, I'm sorry about ... you know, the jar thing.'
I was really stunned. Suddenly felt guilty. After all was not his fault, I mean I was the one that had thrown it. But if it hadn't been for Mindy I never would have felt the rejection needed to hook up with Bates, if it hadn't been for Mindy I wouldn't have been so upset. If it hadn't been for Mindy I wouldn't have thrown the jar at John and he wouldn't have been stupid enough to drop it. So really, all is not John's fault. All is Mindy's fault. But I couldn't let him know that, wanted to play off his guilt.
'Well, it was my favourite jar. And I had a lot of use for it ... I was really upset.'
He sorta looked at me a little shocked at that point.
'Well if it was your favourite jar then why'd you throw it at me.'
'Why'd you make me angry enough to throw it at you?'
'Why does me talking about Mins make you angry? What's your problem with her?'
'Mins? What Mindy wasn't pet name enough ... WHAT SORT OF A NAME IS MINDY ANYWAY?'
It was at that point that he looked livid and ready to kill. I think I can safely assume my face matched his perfectly. I looked at my last jar. I concidered throwing at him ... this time I wouldn't miss. His eyes narrowed and he glarred at me.
'Go ahead ... I dare you!'
I was so shocked I didn't. What was the point in ruining another jar. My precious jar. I concidered throwing my lap top at him. But I still had a game of solitare saved and well, I liked that lap top. That was about the time he turned and left anyway. So I threw a pen at the door as he slammed it behind him. That way I got some satisfaction and no one would know I threw things at him.
Doh! Windows were glass. He probably saw!
11:45 p.m. Note to self ... get covered windows.
12 a.m. OKay, so neither of us handled that well. Bloody stupid Mindy.
Friday, 26th May
Simon came back. He was being really nice all day, helping me around the office and telling people off. I'm so proud of him. Earth contacted us today too. Apparently the president has ordered that the people of Atlantis are entitled to time off. Almost like a holiday, back on earth, spending time with their families. Even though I have Simon already here with me I'm still greatful for the chance to get away. Am actually very excited. Get to spend long stretch of work free days away from John and Mindy (who have become more and more a frequent thing) and time alone, uninterupted with Simon.
AN: OKay, that one was a little shorter and a little frustration I know. Specially to all of you Shweir shippers. But don't worry, I simply had to do that. Not every month is a good one as I'm sure you all know. Once again am SOOOO sorry for taking a long time to update. Am making it up to you by doing June and July today as well so that the next few days you will have regular updates. Am also sorry for bad spelling ... I spelt quaters right this time. Was supposed to start jogging today, I promised myself I would, but it's raining. Lol, I love life!