A/N: I promise this one is totally Aveline-free. That's done with. This occurs directly after Cheating, and it will have another (super smutty) part. I was going to put it all together, but I just had to get this up, I couldn't wait. And then end line is a pretty phenomenal ending, at least I think so. BUT ANYWAY, this stems from my boiling rage at Fenris deciding he was just gonna leave, and the fact that you didn't have the most obvious option to fix it. If the sex is the problem, stop having sex. I know, I know, stop sleeping with Fenris? That's preposterous! Alright, enough rambling, enjoy!

Their night together had been amazing, for lack of a more appropriate term. It was exactly what the two of them needed, but here, on the verge of the morning, a problem had arose.

Hawke stirred at the first sign of movement, but remained silent. There had been no need for the two to disentangle from each other, both were so unused to the closeness of it all that they had actually slept back-to-back instead of in the embrace so often attributed to lovers. Her gut instinct told her that something was amiss, and her gut was never wrong. Oh, but how dearly she wanted it to be wrong. She had finally given herself to someone, someone she actually cared about, someone she was sure cared about her, but now she wasn't so sure. An over-reaction, that had to have been what it was, Fenris had only gotten out of bed, he wasn't leaving her, he was just, just... What the hell was he doing? Hawke heard no more sound, had he left so quietly? No, that wasn't like Fenris, even if he was going to leave her, he wouldn't do it like that. He wouldn't, right? Right.

The sinking of the bed when he sat solemnly beside her mimicked the sinking of her heart, as cliche as that sounds. Hawke pulled herself upright and leaned back on her elbows, the sheets sliding down her torso. Fenris held his head in his hands, looking distinctly like a kicked puppy, and that's when she was sure of it, this was the end of the road. She said nothing, just waited for him to explain himself, she wasn't about to start pleading with him like a teenage girl.

"I- Hawke, I, thank you, this was wonderful, but," And there it was, the almighty 'but', Hawke felt the burn of tears forming in her eyes, but her face betrayed nothing. In her case, the role of the eldest sibling also came with a penchant for stoicism. Fenris stopped there, staring at her blank face, waiting for her to speak, but she didn't, so after a long, awkward silence, he continued, "I can't do this. My, my memories, they all came flooding back in flashes, and then went, just as fast. I can't handle it. I don't- I'm sorry, Hawke, I should go."

So she did what she always did when she was sad, she got angry. Hawke believed that anger was much more manageable, and effective, than sadness was. She clenched her jaw and sat straight up, her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Fenris was certain that she was going to try to kill him, but instead, she inhaled deeply and pushed the air back through her teeth. Then, in the most monotonous voice she could muster (because if it wasn't for monotony, she would have sounded ferocious) she asked, "Why?"

And in true Fenris fashion, when met with hostility, he responded in kind. "What do you mean 'why?' I just told you! Do you have any idea what it's like to have no memory of who you are or what you've been through? Yet alone to have it all come back at once!" He shot up from the bed and towered over her, using his height to generate a threatening posture. It didn't work. Hawke would not be intimidated. She retained the same demeanor, although slightly louder to be sure.

"No, Fenris, worse, I know exactly what I've been through. I don't have the convenience of being able to just forget losing my family." Okay, maybe she shouldn't have said that, but she did; angry Hawke didn't really have any sort of filter on her mouth, she just said whatever the hell came to her mind that would be sufficiently painful enough. It worked. Fenris was instantly furious, all glowing and growling and balling his fists.

"Convenience! You think what Danarius did to me was convenient? How dare you say that to me!" He was within inches of her face now, his nostrils flared, his every breath falling on her face. She had won, the second he had given into his anger he had lost this fight. When it came right down to it, sure, Fenris was stronger, faster, but Hawke was smarter, and in this case, that was all that mattered.

She no longer had any use for anger, her face relaxed and she leaned back on her elbows again, "I said nothing of the sort Fenris." The corner of her mouth turned up so slightly that it was hardly noticeable, save for how her eyes mirrored the snide expression.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That is exactly what you said!" This was what he hated about Hawke, and what he loved about her, when it wasn't focused on him. She wasn't a storyteller, that was Varric's job, but she could twist words better than anyone in Kirkwall. Oh, and the way she could be so nonchalant about this, when she should be terrified of him! But she just laid there, if there was ever any fear in her, it never showed.

"Is not." She said with a dismissive shake of her head. It was starting to seem rather childish, and it reminded her of her arguments with Carver. 'I'm better with the sword than you! Are not! Are too!'

"Is too!" Hawke had to suppress a laugh, "What, pray tell, could you possibly have said if not that? Hmm?" Fenris was rightly angry, but he had to maintain it, it was very difficult to be angry with Hawke, especially when she should be angry with him.

But Hawke's demeanor changed yet again, she spoke with a calm, sincere tone, and sat up to place a hand on his shoulder, which he begrudgingly did not shove away on instinct. "I did not mean to say that what Danarius did was convenient, what I did mean to say is that your excuse for leaving is. You sat there and told me that you had to leave because it was too hard. Do you have any idea how weak that sounds? That you're just going to run away from your problems? You are not weak Fenris, you never have been, don't start now."

Fenris didn't know know what to say, he wanted to be mad at her, but she was right. He sunk back to the bed, head in his hands yet again. Hawke removed her hand from him and sat beside him, folding her hands in her lap. She didn't look at him, she felt as though he wouldn't want her to, not like this. "You told me that there's a point where you have to stop running and face your problems. Don't-" Hawke's voice faltered for a moment, "please don't run from me for three years before you face me, don't make me feel like I'm on his level."

Fenris hadn't even realized that his actions could take this turn, it wasn't what he wanted at all. He had never meant to make her feel like she was a problem, he still loved her, he wasn't about to say out loud, but still, this was not the way it was supposed to go. When he looked at her, sitting there in her smalls, she looked almost vulnerable, almost. Her face was still stone, it always was, well, when she wasn't smirking or angry, those seemed to be the only two faces she had. Watching her now, he couldn't believe he had ever been mad at her, that he had even considered just walking away. Her parents were dead, her siblings were dead, the only family she had left was an uncle she hardly knew, and what she did know she didn't like. He couldn't leave her, even if they weren't going to be together, he wouldn't end it like this. "No, Hawke, no, you can't possibly think that!" He spoke in a low voice, "I just can't handle intimacy, not yet, not now. With Danarius at my heels I can't afford to be constantly torn apart by memories of my past."

Hawke turned to face him, "Is- is that really why you were leaving? You think that's all I want from you?"

"Well, that is what a relationship is, is it not? I, I care for you, but I cannot give you that." Fenris truly believed that all a relationship could be was sex. Living in the Imperium had incorrectly led him to such a conclusion, and Hawke actually pitied him for it.

"Fenris, no, that has absolutely nothing to do with it. If that's what a relationship is, then Isabela has hundreds of them." Hawke smiled, warm, much warmer than she was to anyone else, and Fenris actually let out a weak chuckle at her attempt at a joke.

"Then, what is it?" He asked, wanting to learn, as always.

"It's," Hawke had trouble explaining emotions, her words never failed her so badly as they did when she spoke of love, but she managed, "it's someone to be with, someone that you care for regardless of their faults. It's caring about another person more than anyone else. It's when two people support each other, and stand by them, no matter what they face." She shrugged at him and cocked her head to the side, almost unsure of the words she had said.

Fenris was quiet for a moment, processing what Hawke had said, and then leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I think, I think I can handle that."

And so it continued, the two of them had absolutely no sex, none, not even a little bit, but they were happy. They acted exactly the same around their other companions, and eventually, as the weeks passed, even Isabela's jokes died down. No one suspected a thing, but every night when Hawke would take a book over to Fenris's mansion, she would stay. They would talk, as they always did, but when it came time for the reading lesson and idle chatter to come to an end, instead of leading her to the door, Fenris would lead her to his bed. They would rid themselves of their armor and fall asleep, Hawke's head on his chest, her arm draped across him. They would wake early, talk, eat, even the occasional sparring match would dot their mornings. Hawke was always out and about early, so when the people at the Estate would find her gone they thought nothing of it.

It was perfect. It was complete and fulfilling. Yes, the desire for intimacy was still there, but both of them understood that it wasn't time, and they cared for each other enough that it didn't matter. All good things come to an end though.

There was nothing ominous at all about that day, no prior warning or foreshadowing that would have told Hawke what would happen. She didn't even know anything was wrong until she walked into the mansion, but as soon as she did she could practically feel the raw rage in the air, and it was dark, far, far too dark. If Fenris was here she would be able to see him, he kind of had this glowing thing going on, you know? She stepped forward and closed the door, and started to make for the rooms in the back, working mostly on memory as her eyes adjusted to the dark.

Her eyes caught him a moment too late, as she stepped into the very next room she was shoved back against the wall by the door frame. Fenris had her pinned, her arms held at her side, his whole body pressed hard against her as he stared her down, "What the fuck did you think you were doing?"

A/N: Can anybody guess what three words in there made me bust up laughing so hard that I just couldn't bring myself to change them? Does anyone have a guess about 'what the fuck Hawke was doing'? Okay, anywho, reviews are amazing and they make me really giddy/giggly (and remind me that I'm not writing for just myself), but don't worry, even without reviews I will keep going!